Authors: Cindi Madsen
He hadn’t said another word about her breakdown, thank the gods. Dinner was amazing, and then they’d cleaned up the dishes together.
He cooks, he didn’t make me feel stupid when I talked to him, and he’s even nice to my mangy cat. How sweet is that?
Jax glanced at her. Persephone’s first instinct was to pretend like she hadn’t been staring, but she couldn’t seem to look away. A slow smile spread across his face, and her heart went all fluttery.
He patted the spot next to him. “Scoot on over. I can’t vouch for Turtle, but I don’t bite.”
Turtle gave a garbled mew and then tucked his head on his paws and closed his eyes.
Persephone scooted closer to Jax, and he put his arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and breathed out the stress of the day. Comfortable and warm, her muscles relaxed, and her eyelids got heavy.
Jax rubbed his fingers up and down her arm. She looked up at him, he looked down at her, and she just knew they were about to cross a line.
What in the River Styx am I doing? I can’t do this.
She jerked up. “I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed.”
Confusion flickered through Jax’s expression, but she didn’t wait to see if he’d say something about it. She shot off the couch and rushed to the bathroom.
Once she was safe inside, door closed behind her, she gripped the edges of the sink. A confusing tornado of emotions swirled around her, and she tried to sort through the debris. She was already in love, so what she was feeling for Jax…She didn’t know what it was.
I’m just missing Adrastos. That’s got to be it.
Her chest tightened as she realized how close she’d come to doing something she’d regret. Adrastos was out there somewhere, fighting to get to her—had been fighting for two years—and here she was cozying up to a guy she’d barely met.
“I’m so sorry, Love. Wherever you are, I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Persephone flopped onto the edge of the tub. The first time she’d dreamed of Adrastos, she was fifteen. Immediately, she’d felt drawn to him, so strongly it terrified her as much as it thrilled her. When she’d awoken to find she’d only been dreaming, her heart felt like it had shattered.
But then she dreamed of him again.
She told him things she’d never told anyone—how centuries ago, Sentries had volunteered to have their blood infused with demon blood in order to do their job, and how she worried she had an evil side that would one day conquer her good side.
The first time Adrastos held her hand, heat traveled up her arm, filling her with warmth. The next day, she’d still felt the glow of his touch.
The next time they met, he took her in his arms and kissed her.
“Can you feel it?” he asked after his lips left hers. “You feel that we belong together, don’t you?”
Persephone nodded, working to catch her breath. “I feel it. But how are we supposed to be together if I only see you in my dreams?”
He intertwined his fingers with hers. “We only have our dreams for now, my love, but I will find you, and when I do, I’ll never let you go.”
She tipped onto her toes and kissed him until she was dizzy.
“I’m going to give you something so you know that wherever you are, whatever’s going on, I’m out there, eagerly awaiting the day we can be together.” Adrastos held out his wrist. “See this?”
Persephone studied the black tattoo. Three circles joined together, one loop at the top, two loops on the bottom. She ran her thumb over it.
“It’s a trefoil knot. It symbolizes immortality. No beginning, no end, just always and forever. It’s how I feel about you.” Adrastos swept the hair from her neck. “I love you, Persephone. Always remember that.”
He pressed his lips to her neck, and heat filled every inch of her body.
Persephone stood, squared off in front of the bathroom mirror, and pulled back her hair. Where his lips had been, a black trefoil knot, exactly like his, was etched into her skin. On days when she especially missed Adrastos, when she felt like she was losing grip on reality, she’d look at it and know that he was real. That their love, no matter how strange, was real.
Tonight, she’d put all her energy into meeting him. Then she’d push the memory of how nice it felt to be next to Jax from her mind, and make sure she never came close to crossing that line again.
Persephone stormed into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl, and slammed the cupboard door. She tucked the box of Mini-Wheats under her arm, grabbed the milk out of the fridge, and slammed the fridge door, too. Adrastos hadn’t come to her last night, and she worried it was because he somehow knew she’d gotten too close to Jax yesterday. The arm over her shoulders, the hug in the kitchen, snuggling up to him as they’d watched TV. Letting his devastatingly good looks and all those muscles get to her, even though she knew better.
The tears had come during her shower. Now she was angry. Angry at herself and angry at the annoying Warrior stretched across her couch.
Jax sat up, wavy hair mussed from sleep, eyelids still halfway closed. “What are you banging around in there for?”
Persephone plunked her bowl on the tiny glass-top table in the corner of the kitchen and sat in the nearest chair. “It’s my place and I can make noise if I want to. And don’t think I won’t leave you if you’re not ready in time for school.”
Jax covered a yawn with his hand, rubbed his eyes, and got off the couch. Of course he wasn’t wearing a shirt, showoff that he was. As he walked toward her, Persephone focused on pouring the cereal into her bowl. No matter what, she wasn’t looking at his bare chest. Or those abs.
He put a hand on her shoulder. “So, how’d you sleep?”
“Crappy.” She scooted her chair out of his reach. “Now, how about we just have a quiet morning?”
“I’m not the one who was banging around the kitchen.”
She glared at him, hoping he got how not funny she found him.
His eyebrows shot up, and she thought he’d get the message and go away. Instead, he placed the other chair right next to hers, sat in it, and put his hand on her knee. “What’s going on?”
Careful not to look into the eyes that kept getting her in trouble, she pushed his hand off her. “Nothing’s going on. And a little FYI for you, this is my personal space, and I wish you’d stop forcing your way into it.”
“But yesterday I thought—”
“Nothing happened yesterday.” Her voice took on a desperate tone she hated, but she needed him to know, as much as she needed to know for herself, that nothing had happened. She couldn’t lose the only person who really knew her. She had let Adrastos down, and she hated herself for it.
Guilt replaced her anger.
I’m a horrible person. What if I never see him again? What if he doesn’t want me anymore?
The thought made her stomach clench into a tight knot.
So much for breakfast.
She pushed away from the table.
If she made it through the day, it would be a freakin’ miracle.
After lunch, Danielle pulled Persephone aside. “What’s up with you today?”
Persephone was about to give her usual
nothing
answer, but she didn’t have the energy to fake it anymore. “Everything’s falling apart, D. And I’m in the worst mood, and the last place I want to be is at school. I know the weekend’s only a few hours away, but I honestly don’t know if I’ll make it that long.”
“So let’s get out of here.”
“I can’t draw attention to myself, or I’ll for sure get busted, and you know I can’t do that.” The killer was, if Gran was still alive, she’d understand Persephone’s need to get away from it all. Which gave Persephone an idea.
“Unless…” She looked around, then leaned in. “I suppose I could forge a note.”
“I’m all caught up,” Danielle said. “I bet I can talk my mom into letting me miss one little class.”
Nobody knew how to make her forget about her stressful life like Danielle, and it had been way too long since they’d hung out. “Let’s do it,” Persephone whispered. “I’ve just got to figure out a way to ditch Jax.”
“I’m still having trouble figuring out the weird relationship you two have going on.”
“It’s not a relationship!”
Several people looked their way, making Persephone immediately regret her outburst.
“Relax,” Danielle said. “I just meant the whole protective vibe he puts off around you. Like, what does he think is going to attack you during school?” She shrugged. “Still, he seems like he genuinely cares about you, and of course there’s the smokin’ hot thing.”
“I wish he was ugly. And that he didn’t care so much. At least then I wouldn’t…”
Be so tempted.
But she couldn’t say that. As good a friend as Danielle was, even she wouldn’t understand why Persephone couldn’t let anything happen with Jax. Mostly because it would take an explanation, and Persephone didn’t know how she could possibly explain she was already in love with someone she’d never physically met.
Danielle raised her eyebrows. “Wouldn’t what?”
Persephone shook her head. “Never mind. You call your mom, I’ll forge a note, and we’ll meet up at my car in about ten.”
Danielle took out her phone, and Persephone opened up her notebook. She wrote a note from Gran—her heart squeezed as she signed her dead grandmother’s signature. She dropped the paper at the office, and was about to leave when she decided she should write something to Jax. She already knew he’d freak out, but right now she didn’t care. She needed space.
I’m going somewhere with Danielle,
she scribbled across a blank sheet of paper.
I can take care of myself so don’t worry about me
.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement. Jax was coming toward her. Persephone folded the letter and shoved it in her back pocket.
“You ready for class?” Jax asked.
“I’ve got to talk to Dean, then I’ll be right there.”
“I’ll wait.”
Persephone gave an exaggerated sigh and shot him her most annoyed look. “It’s kind of private. In other words, beat it.”
His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what happened. Last night you were so cool, and then today…What did I do?”
He reached his hand toward her, and she took a giant step back before he could make contact. It was always so hard to think when he touched her. “I warned you to keep your distance. Not my fault you ignored it.”
“Don’t be like this.”
“This is how I am. Deal with it, or find a new job, and may I suggest the latter.” Persephone spotted Dean, who was heading in the other direction. She glanced at Jax. “Don’t take it personally. Like I said, this is just how I am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to catch Dean before he goes to class.”
Without waiting for whatever Jax was going to say—because it didn’t matter, she’d already made up her mind—she went after Dean.
“Dean, wait up!”
Jax was still watching, so Persephone leaned in and whispered to Dean what she and Danielle were doing. She took the note from of her pocket and held it out to him. “Don’t give it to him until next break. By then, I’m sure he’ll be freaking out.”
Dean’s eyebrows drew together. “I don’t know, Persephone. I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever weird thing you two have going.”
“Look, his intentions are good, but he’s suffocating me. You know how I need my space.” She clasped her hands in front of her and stuck out her bottom lip. “Please?”