“Phillip Vance, the movie star,” Maryann declared.
Rainy shook her head. “I’m not marrying anyone.
The flowers are from Phillip Vance—and no proposal came with them.”
“But if he asks, you’ll say yes, won’t you?” the other courier questioned. She looked at Rainy with such an expression of anticipation that Rainy wanted to burst out laughing.
“He’s not going to ask me to marry him,” Rainy said matter-of-factly. She hoped her disinterested tone and firm resolve would silence the matter for good.
“But he might,” Maryann murmured, delicately fingering one of the many roses.
The other girls nodded. “Yes,” they said in unison.
“He might.”
Rainy felt a heaviness in her stomach. Maybe she should avoid dinner and just send Phillip a note explaining how she felt and why they were all wrong for each other. She could start with the fact that she loved God first and foremost and always would. Then she could ease into the fact that she didn’t love Phillip— and probably never would.
————
Rainy waited for Sonny in the boardinghouse lobby for as long as she could. Hot and sweaty from her miserable day, she trudged upstairs carrying her bags—a driver behind her trying to balance the huge bouquet.
Her room felt stifling, so Rainy quickly put the bags to one side and went to open the windows.
“Just put those flowers anywhere you can find a place to fit them,” Rainy instructed.
“These must have cost a pretty penny,” the driver said. Rainy turned from the window in time to see him create a spot for them on her tiny desk.
“Thanks, Joe. I really appreciate it. I expected Sonny to meet me after he took the car in, but he never showed up. Guess I’ll catch up with him later, but in the meantime, I’m really grateful that you handled those for me.”
“No problem, Rainy. And I wouldn’t worry about Sonny. The garage manager was keeping all of today’s drivers in for a meeting. He talked to the rest of us earlier.”
“I see. Well, then, I guess I won’t fret over it.” She showed him out, then gathered her things in order to clean up.
After a long tepid bath, Rainy felt cooled down and much more capable of dealing with Phillip. She dressed carefully in a cotton dress of lemon yellow.
Pale white flowers with tiny orange centers and lacy-leafed stems dotted the skirt of the dress.
Spending extra time, Rainy took the trouble to pin up her thick strawberry blond hair and fashion it into a stylish bun at the back of her head. She wanted to be cool as well as look attractive, yet she was determined to tell Phillip that this would be their last night together.
Her bath time had allowed time for reasonable thought and consideration of the problem. Phillip, while attractive and romantic, did not love God. In the past Rainy had put this aside, believing that it was possible that God had brought them together in order for her to lead him to salvation. But now that idea seemed silly. She knew from experience that it was much easier for her to be dragged down by someone who held no respect for God than for her to pull him up into an understanding of the Bible and God’s laws. It wasn’t that she couldn’t share the hope of Jesus with Phillip, but she couldn’t use that as a reason to see him romantically.
When Rainy had first seen the flowers and heard Maryann’s excitement, she wondered seriously if her own excitement would emerge. She thought of Phillip and his gentle spirit, his kindness to her, and all that he offered. But instead of feeling something more intense, Rainy was very much aware of her lack of feeling. There was not even a glimmer of love or hope of a future that came to mind when she looked at the enormous bouquet. Phillip had been an interesting diversion, but in more ways than one, Rainy could see that he had interfered with her life in a way that could have proved to be most destructive. She needed to put an end to it tonight—to explain that his life and ways held little interest for her.
She prayed her motives would be pure. She didn’t want her words to come across as sounding like punishment for Phillip’s inconsiderate attitude. He needed to understand that the absence of God in his life was the true reason that she couldn’t allow herself to fall in love with him. Of course, there was also Duncan.
Rainy’s feelings for Duncan were stronger than ever. She tried not to focus on whether or not Duncan would return her feelings and be the man God ordained for her husband. But it was hard. Not only that, but Duncan had seen her reaction to Phillip. He might have been deeply wounded by her attitude. Her actions reminded her of something that had happened when she’d been a child. They’d had a family dog—Shep. He was more loyal than most dogs, and Rainy had loved him with all her heart. Then one day her father brought home a stray puppy. Rainy immediately gave her time and attention to the pup and completely abandoned Shep. A few weeks later the pup ran off leaving Rainy heartbroken, but Shep, ever faithful, was there to console her and lick away her tears.
She smiled at the memory. Duncan certainly wasn’t to be equated with Shep, but Rainy’s actions with Phillip had been the same as when that pup had come into her life. The new, exciting adventure of meeting and spending time with a movie star, a wealthy man who could give her any material thing, had temporarily distracted her. But as Rainy had told Duncan that night, a veil had been lifted. She was growing up spiritually and realized that trusting God meant something more than just saying the words. She had to live it by her actions.
Making her way to the dining room at La Fonda, Rainy gave a quick glance about the room for Phillip. It was exactly seven-thirty—he should be here. She spotted him standing by the entry. Beside him were several well-dressed men and women. Phillip was the center of attention, as usual.
Rainy made her way to the gathering, confident that these were more of his fans and that soon they could break away to discuss their relationship. She smiled when Phillip looked her way. He returned her smile and gave her an appreciative nod.
“You look wonderful,” he whispered as he broke away from the crowd to take hold of her hand. “Come join us. We were just about to be seated.”
Rainy tried not to look confused. “I thought it would be just you and me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, looking rather chagrined.
“These are some writer friends of Jennetta’s. They want to talk about writing for movies and I couldn’t send them away.”
Rainy could think of nothing to say, so she only nodded and allowed Phillip to guide her as their table was finally ready.
Sitting beside Phillip and listening to the comments made by the ever growing party of people, Rainy felt very stupid for ever imagining that she might hold a special and solitary interest in Phillip Vance’s life. She also felt more confident of her decision.
Phillip was a people pleaser. He thrived on attention and basked in the praise and devotion of his fans.
Beyond that, he was eager to make himself invaluable to others, just as he was doing tonight.
“Phillip, darling, you don’t mind if we squeeze in two more, do you?”
It was Jennetta, dressed in a skimpy black beaded gown that seemed overly dramatic for a quiet evening in Santa Fe.
The men quickly rose, but it was Phillip who spoke.
“Of course we don’t mind. We’ll simply scoot in.”
The waiter brought two more chairs while Jennetta took the seat on Phillip’s left. Obviously he had reserved it for her, as the group surrounding them had never even attempted to take this place for themselves. Rainy felt more than a little irritation. First there had been no word from Phillip, and then he finally tried to make amends by sending her five dozen roses and inviting her to dinner—a dinner that quickly turned into a party for anyone and everyone who had an interest in Phillip Vance and the movies.
“I fail to see why it should be a problem to allow the true language of the people to be portrayed in a film,” one balding man said as he leaned closer to Jen-netta.
Phillip nodded. “The average person thinks nothing of swearing, but the censors will not allow that.
They consider it crude and vulgar. Never mind that it is commonplace.”
“But it isn’t commonplace,” Rainy declared. “At least not in my world.”
Everyone turned their attention to her, and Rainy instantly wished she’d thought before speaking. Shifting uncomfortably, she looked to Phillip and added, “I’m sure swearing would hurt your audience numbers.”
Phillip shook his head. “But must we sacrifice realism because of an oversensitive minority?”
“What makes you so sure only a minority would be offended by swearing and vulgar language?” she asked.
“Because I hear it all the time. From the common dock worker to the railroad worker to the newspaperman who interviews me to the calf-eyed schoolgirls who follow me around town, it’s the common language of a people who are in despair and who find the world difficult to endure.”
“So why not offer them hope instead of cursing?”
“I suppose you mean offer them God and religion.”
Rainy noticed that their conversation held the attention of everyone else at the table. “Offer them God, yes. Offer them an understanding of what God desires for them—of His love for them. Offer them a way out of their despair.”
“I find the entire matter of God to be a worthless pursuit,” the balding man declared.
“Oh, well said, Samuel,” a black-haired woman sitting opposite Phillip agreed. “I grew up in a positively hideous home where religious nonsense and piety were all the rage. My father wouldn’t drink liquor, even when it was legal, and he certainly saw no use for entertainment and parties. Every Sunday,” she said, leaning close as if to share a great secret, “we were all forced to attend church and then to spend the rest of the day fasting and praying for forgiveness. It was awful. As a child I would sneak out of the room on the pretense of relieving myself and would make a fast run to the kitchen, where Cook always kept me something to snack on. She always knew I would be coming and she’d have it all ready for me. It was wonderful fun to fool them all.”
Rainy eyed the woman momentarily and was about to speak when Jennetta added her thoughts. “I find that a need for religiosity is stifling to the mind.” The group rapidly agreed with her. “I couldn’t work in my writing if I was constrained by the limitations demanded by the Christian faith. I’m sure I’m seen as the worst of sinners by our Miss Gordon here, but in truth, her beliefs will never allow her to understand the mind and soul of a true artist.”
A chorus of murmured affirmation rose up from the gathering. Rainy ignored it and spoke out. “I suppose I do understand what you’re saying, Mrs. Blythe.
You write from the emptiness and darkness that consumes your soul. You write of despair and of hopelessness and lace it with platitudes of ambition and call it art. Because, I believe, the emptiness you feel comes from your alienation from God, then yes, a relationship with God would drastically alter and limit your art.”
“I would expect that reply from the uneducated masses,” a man with a pencil-thin mustache threw in.
Rainy got to her feet, unable to contain her temper if she remained in the pompous group for even a moment longer. “Sir, may I inquire as to your educational background?” she asked.
The man lifted his chin and stared down his long thin nose at Rainy. “I have a degree in literature from the University of New York.” His companions nodded as if to confirm this truth.
“Anything else?” Rainy asked, knowing she shouldn’t be goading the man.
“That’s entirely enough,” the man responded.
She nodded. “Well, given your response about uneducated masses, I presumed you might lay claim to something more. As for myself—just so that you understand I do not speak as one of the uneducated masses—I hold a bachelor’s degree in history and one in archaeology. Furthermore, I hold a master’s degree in history and speak four languages fluently.” Most of the group straightened in unison, as if stunned by Rainy’s declaration. Only Phillip and Jennetta seemed unconcerned.
“Sit down, Rainy dear. Our waiter is coming and we’ll need to place our orders.”
Rainy shook her head. “No, thank you, Phillip. I believe I’ve had my fill of this evening.”
She left without another word, not surprised that Phillip remained with his friends. Making her way outside, Rainy could only shake her head at her own foolish thoughts that she might have ever fit into Phillip Vance’s world.
“You look like a woman with a purpose,” Sonny declared as he came alongside Rainy.
“My purpose is to get away from this place as fast and far as I can,” Rainy replied, stopping her stride to take in the sad-eyed gaze of her twin. She immediately felt horrible for the anger she’d held against him. “We should talk,” she said softly.
“I’d like that very much. I’m sorry about not meeting you at the boardinghouse. We had a meeting.”
She nodded. “Yes, Joe told me.” She motioned to one of the Plaza benches. “Why don’t we go over there and sit down?”
Sonny smiled and followed her to the bench. They sat down, and Rainy breathed deeply, enjoying the cool evening air. “It was so hot at the cliff dwellings today. I’m glad Santa Fe is cooler.”
Sonny yawned and leaned back against the bench.
“Me too. Makes sleeping a whole lot easier.”
Rainy knew it was silly to continue with mindless chitchat. “I want to clear the air between us. I know for these last few weeks we’ve just tolerated each other and, Sonny, I’m sorry. I should never have lost my temper when you told me about Scotland. I just panicked.
I thought of all of you going away, and I didn’t think of how it might make you feel for me to respond in such a manner. Please forgive me.”
“You know I do,” Sonny said gently. “But you really have misunderstood the entire matter.”
Rainy nodded. “Then please explain and I’ll hear you out.”
“I did make plans without consulting you. Actually, the plans fell into place without me having much time to really consult anyone—anyone but God, that is. It’s true that I plan to leave by the end of summer, but I’m not going with Mom and Dad. I plan to go to California first and then to Alaska. I’m going to work for the government on a survey party with my friends. I tried to explain this several times, but we always got into other matters or someone came to interrupt us or . . .”