Discovery (22 page)

Kent looked at Ben like he was crazy. “Skinner’s Butte is a public park! And practically in the middle of town!”

The overlook atop the butte, named for Eugene Skinner, founder of the city of Eugene, was a popular hangout and by day offered a lovely view of the city, the Willamette Valley, and the High Cascades to the east.

“It’s going to be pouring rain. Don’t worry. Things are arranged.”

Kent slid his arm around Povre, who looked as if Ben had told her she would be meeting a funeral procession instead of a rescue party. “You should be happy. You’re going home.” He smiled, hoping it didn’t look as lame as it felt.

P
OVRE TOUCHED THE PLANTS WITH
reverence and wished she had the nerve to ask for some cuttings to take back with her.

“They’ve given me far too much already.” She sighed, letting the end of a short fingernail whisper along the edge of a fleshy leaf. “But I’m so sure you would adapt to our habitat’s environment. And you require such little light, the difference in quality wouldn’t affect you that much. If it did, it might be possible to engineer a strain that could survive.”

A good part of the collection of unusual flora required no soil, and this tiny greenhouse section they thrived in was cool, shaded, with just the right touch of humidity. It didn’t have the intense energy of the Willamette forest; none of these plants had much to tell her, but she felt peaceful, at home. The habitats and Sirgel space stations were kept at temperature and humidity levels very close to this. The air was rich with green smells, and higher in oxygen than outside.

Best of all, no one could get in without a key.

She sighed, and as she leaned across one of the plant benches a potted fern tickled her face. She let her awareness settle with the plant, trying to learn its secrets, wishing Kent would hurry and return. They had so little time left together.

“Maybe it’s better he doesn’t come back. Maybe it’s better we don’t say good-bye,” Povre whispered to the fern. Her breath caused the feathery branches to flutter. “His life can get back to normal. He’ll find someone, and make a wonderful life-mate and father, and be happy with his teaching and research, and making her happy.”

He had such potential. She thought back to when she accused him of being passionless, his emotions driven by mindless biological processes. How wrong she had been. He had such passion it took Povre’s breath away. His love of science, of learning, his capacity to care, to love, to protect. His convictions. His tenacity.

“Goddess, I love him,” Povre told the plant. Closing her eyes, she turned the other side of her face to the feathery caress of the fern.

She wanted to go home, yes, but she wanted Kent even more. The problem had no accommodating solution. She couldn’t stay here and survive. She couldn’t take him with her. Not only was that utterly forbidden, but it was possible Kent might not survive. No human had ever traveled in Sirgel environments. Even though the Folonar could and did thrive without adjustment in ideal Sirgel environments, Kent wasn’t Folonar, no matter how much he looked like them. And how could she take the risk with his life to find out just how hardy the human race really was?

She didn’t want to hurt him. Just to argue the point, what if she could stay here, thrive here, on his planet? What could she offer him? A life of running, hiding, living in fear, all for a few hours of closeness? No matter how he might feel about her now, he would slowly come to resent her for the type of lifestyle they’d be forced to live. Over time, he would learn to despise her, and then what? From what she knew, the humans often left their mates to seek out others. And where would that leave her?

They both had lives before they’d met and each could go back to it. Interests. Careers. His career could continue should he come with her, only on a vastly different scale. They would have the freedom to work side-by-side or apart and wherever they wanted, constrained only by the rules. No one in the Affiliated Races would turn to Kent and point and scream “Alien!” at him. No hiding. No running. He’d never fear being captured and subjected against his will to satisfy the scientific curiosity of physicians and scientists.

Not from any individual in the Affiliated Races, anyway. But she couldn’t ask that of him, even if such a thing was allowed. Kent loved the Earth, he loved the land, the creatures, the plants upon it. She didn’t know if he’d be happy elsewhere.

But for herself, if she stayed here, hidden, unable to have the freedom to explore and discover, even with Kent at her side, Povre knew part of her would wither and die.

No matter how appealing and romantic the notion, they couldn’t survive on love alone. To take one or the other of them away from what fired and stimulated them on different levels would strain even the truest and deepest of real loves.

Imagining the touch of his lips, her fingers went to her mouth. So gentle, yet so strong. Did she love him because he just happened to be there that night? Was it truly only three nights ago? It felt like a lifetime! Did she love him because he offered rescue and comfort?

“No,” she said aloud. “It’s much more than that.” Another fear arose. Did he love her because he needed someone to assuage his pain over Lynn?

“No,” she said again, still whispering. The feathery fern brushed her cheeks. “If he was looking for comfort, he has yet to take it. He has all but said aloud he would die before letting anything happen to me. I wouldn’t say that’s the response of a male transferring affections to the nearest desirable female. Now if he’d solely acted on his urges caring nothing for me or my safety…” Her body started to heat. Her entire being yearned for him. To share herself totally, to possess him completely, if only for just one time.

“It cannot be,” she told the fern. “I have my own trouble to face when I return. Not only did I disobey orders, I broke the rules by not only making an accidental contact, but pursuing it. Disrupting the normal life cycles of the native inhabitants.”

She would be banned from serving on any other landing party. Regulated to staying aboard the ship and cataloging what the survey parties brought back. And, once they returned to home space, it was very likely she’d be bounced off Exploration, permanently. Her only recourse would be to take a position in Research or one at the Higher Education Center.

Her eyes unfocused as she thought about the future. For what she’d experienced with Kent, despite the penalty, it was worth it and she’d do it again. To feel what she felt with him. For what he made her feel. She would have that memory forever, even if they never performed the ultimate act. Was that the reason they both held back? Knowing that they could never be together in the future? So many times they’d come close. At least Povre felt they’d come close.

Kent’s low voice startled her. She was so involved in her thoughts she didn’t sense or hear him return.

“I said, what are you thinking so hard about?”

Povre ran her hands down her arms to settle the chill that had displaced the heat she’d felt a few moments earlier. “You,” she admitted honestly.

“Me?” He laughed, but it sounded strained. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his wonderful brown eyes.

“That in a few hours, I’ll be gone. I’ve been trying to deal with how much I want you, Kent.” Povre turned, leaning her back on the planting bench and watching him.

He groaned, a sound of deep pain and need, and closed the distance between them, almost crushing Povre in his arms. “Take me with you,” he said hoarsely.

“I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you. It would never be allowed.” His kisses burned across her face, her throat. Closing her eyes and her arms tightly, she let her head fall back.

“What’s it like, Povre? Space? Traveling between the stars?”

Boring
, she nearly said. He looked so wistful, like a child yearning to touch a flame because of the flickering bright beauty of it. She hated to discourage him, to ruin the dream. To him, what she took for granted was as compelling, fascinating, and mysterious as his world was to her.

“It’s vast, and empty, and cold,” she said, slowly, unwilling to lie. “Frightening to think only a fragile shell of ship’s hull keeps you from instant death. The travel isn’t the good part, Kent. We sleep most of the time. The best part is actually reaching something of interest to see. For me, it’s discovering living things on other worlds, and in the discovery, learning new things about myself and my own race. As beautiful as space can be, I prefer living things.”

“Are you anxious to return home?”

She leaned against him. “Home,” she echoed. “I live on an artificially constructed habitat orbiting my home planet. Nothing can live on the surface any more, not without protection. My home has artificial gravity. Artificial lighting. Plants that are cultivated. No weather. No wind, but for what ventilation systems move…”

Her hands, flat on his back, moved up and down, feeling the hard planes of his muscles, the bones underneath.

“Like the plants in this greenhouse we are,” Povre said to his shoulder. “Even those few who live on the surface, safe in semi-underground habitats.”

“I know why you disobeyed orders, then,” he whispered. His hands slid down her back.

“But it is my home, and there I’m free.” She stroked her fingers along the column of his neck, and slid off the elastic band confining his hair. She tangled her hands in his soft locks. “I never realized meeting you could make me feel more alive than I’ve ever been.”

As if reading her mind, his lips captured hers, and she welcomed him gladly. Her clever fingers went to his shirt, slipping beneath it, reveling in the crisp texture of his chest hair, finding his hard little nipples, making him groan in desire and deepen the kiss.

And the last of the barriers of race and culture and what was right or wrong for Exploration teams to do went down between them. Lips kissed and tongues tasted and tangled; hands went everywhere, exploring not with the semi-detached wonder of scientists, but with the mindless fervor of lovers. When Kent stopped, Povre cried out in protest. Rather than pulling away, however, Kent just lifted her to sit on the planting bench before him. Somehow, in the action, her loose sweatpants drifted to the greenhouse floor, her shirt wafted off over her head, and his clothing disappeared, as if by magic, or as if sheer desire gave them the kinetic ability of a Folonar adept.

“I love you,” Kent said hoarsely, drifting kisses down her throat. “You’re so beautiful. So soft. You taste so good.”

When he went lower still and she felt his mouth on her breast, Povre’s eyes went wide. Her mouth opened and closed, words forgotten in the sweet sensations he created. His words of admiration and praise, his pleasure with her body, aroused her as much as his touches. Her body trembled, her back arched, and her hands tangled in his long hair, urging him closer. “Kent, I want you.”

“Povre,” he groaned, “we can’t, I don’t have any protection, what if you get pregnant…?”

“I don’t think that’s biologically possible,” she whispered. “Please don’t stop.”

“Am I doing this right for you? Do your people—?”

Her throat tightened. He was so caring, wanting to make it right…

“I don’t know,” she said, her finger tracing the intriguing ridges and folds of one of his oval shaped ears.

He stopped, panting, straightening to look into her eyes. His burned with desire as well as amazement. “You don’t know?”

“I’ve never done this before,” she confessed. “I was hoping I was doing it right for you.

“On my world, this would never go this far unless it was meant to be. The coupling cannot be accomplished unless the feelings were right between two people. It is right between us, and I want to give to you. I want to give you pleasure. Please. Let’s belong to each other if only for now.”

“You’re…a-a virgin?” He jerked back, trying to see her more fully. “I can’t do this! On my world the first time should be something—”

He dropped his head to her shoulder for a moment and she felt him shudder against her. “Povre,” he whispered to her shoulder.

“Is it right for you? Don’t you want me?”

“For someone who hasn’t done this before,” he managed, kissing her again. “You’re doing just fine.”

Povre nearly jumped off the table a few seconds later. Her surprised cry was stifled under his lips.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she whispered, turning her awareness inward to the new sensations building inside her. There was only a slight pain. Even now her body was stretching to accommodate him. Her breathing caught and staggered.