“Then how did she know who to tell you I was then, huh?” Grace made some snap assumptions. “That overprotective paper pusher wouldn't be the cause of your impending separationwith Morticia, now, would she? Or the same one who's been running around telling all of my business?”
“That's insane. The girl who took your call is a paralegal. She helps me out with the calls from time to time, and no, nothing is going on between us,” he protested. “Regardless of what you might think, I'm a happily married man, but you wouldn't know anything about that.” Grace had a chip on her shoulder the size of a small country. In not so many words, she was asking for Edward's worst, and she was getting it.
“You're right,” she admitted, with a reluctant chuckle. “No I wouldn't. This is just like old times, huh, Edward?”
“Not all of our old times were like this, Grace. It was the end result, though. And listen, I can't let you get away with being the bigger person. I could have chosen my words more carefully, but
Muriel
and I have been working out a minor snag with my long hours away from the family. I shouldn't have let that get in the way when I ran into you. It's been a long couple of months.”
“Now that, I understand. See, for my son André, it's been a long lifetime of wondering if his father cares about him, cares if he grows up to be something, or if his father is worth the mental energy it takes to forget he has one.” It was Edward'sturn to check himself. Grace couldn't see why he refusedto concede that his firstborn was part of his family, too. However, Edward's true intentions were as plain as day if she'd only paid attention to what he said.
“I guess I deserved some of that. Okay, all of it. We should have had conversations like these years ago. Maybe then, things would have been different. Why don't we get togetherover dinner and map out some terms? It isn't too late, you know.” If Grace didn't know better, she would have thought he was hitting on her instead of trying to mend fences with his child. “By the way, I saw how chummy you were with my frat brother when he interfered.”
“And?” Grace uttered, more perplexed than ever. “That's got what to do with André?”
“Just how serious is it between you and Wallace? I mean really, Grace, you could do better.”
“Better than what, Edward? I know you're not insinuating that your brand of better is worth mentioning.” Grace put her hand over her mouth, as she felt sick to her stomach. “Is that why you all of a sudden fell from the sky after all this time, because your dutiful wife is tired of your idea of better? Your wife is leaving you, and you want to have a pissing contest with Wallace over me? Too triflin', Edward.”
“Grace, I was excited to hear that you called, and, yes, the paralegal has gotten it in her head that my marriage hitting a rough spot has given her the opportunity to step up next. I'll fix that, but come on, you and I do have unfinished business.”
It was then Grace realized that Edward's intentions concernedher love life more than they did with atoning for his lack of guidance in their son's life or apologizing for shirkinghis fatherly duties. Grace had never felt sorrier for any man than at that very moment. More so, she was determined to shield André from ever feeling like she did then, empty to the core. “Say his name, Edward,” Grace demanded calmly. “Since we've been discussing our son, you haven't once said his name. I want to hear you say your son's name. Say it! André! Say it! I want to hear you say that your name is Edward,and your son's name is André.”
“I'm not playing this game of yours, Grace. I know very well what my son's name is. Let's you and I meet and talk aboutâ”
“I'm all talked out, Edward. This is the end of the line. It's obvious that you don't know me like you think you do, so I'll make it plain. Don't ever go getting all up in my face about André the way you did last week or there may not be anyone around to stop me from doing what I will ... do to you.” Tears raced down her cheeks as she steadied her voice. “I won't let you hurt him, not like this.”
“Oh, now you're threatening me?” Edward popped off indifferently.“Whatever.”
“I wasn't finished,” Grace answered quickly. “If you force me to hurt you in order to keep André safe from you, I will. You'd be smart to forget about our unexpected run-in, if that's what it was.
I
don't want you. And,
we
don't need you.” The next sound Edward heard was a long, cold, dial tone. Grace had said her piece, and meant every single word.
23
Tossin' and Turnin'
T
wo days had crept by slowly since Grace told Edward where to get off, but that didn't stop him from harassing her at the office. She didn't accept his calls or read any of the lengthy messages he left with Marcia. Actually Grace ignoredjust about everything, including her work at the marketingfirm. She had immersed herself in going backwards to avoid her present state of unrest. Closed up in her office, she played with the idea of hooking up with someone from her past until she'd had her fill of passionate memories and needed something more substantial, something real. On the way out of the parking garage, she called Greg, who was very surprised to hear from her. She asked if he had a free minute to talk. He said that he did, but only a minute because he was expecting company within the hour. Grace verified that she would have said what was on her mind and be out of his hair by then.
When she arrived at his home, she neglected to park her SUV in his garage. Greg was putting the finishing touches on a collection of cartoon animals he'd created for a top television network. Covered in an assortment of watercolors, he answeredthe door with paintbrush in hand. Grace pressed her chest against his, finessed the brush from his hand, and then tossed it on the floor. Greg opened his mouth to protest, but she shoved her tongue in it.
“Okay, that's different,” he moaned. “Ooh, good different.”
“Mmmm, shut up. I thought I'd come by for a little touch and tickle,” Grace told him, ripping his T-shirt from the neck on down. She groped at the swelling in his pants with her hands, and kissed his chest with her full lips. “Can you handlethat, huh? A little touch and tickle?”
“You know I can, but you said you wanted to talk,” he mentioned halfheartedly.
“Yeah, about that,” Grace cooed, sucking on his nipple while unfastening his blue jeans, “I decided that wasn't goingto be enough for me. How about you? You'd rather talk, Greg?”
“Who me? Nah, I'm speechless. When a fine woman shoves her hand down my pants, ain't much else to say.” As Greg watched Grace strip off her clothes like never before, he remembered why her hormones were boiling over. “Grace, this might be a bad time to bring it up, but what about that celibacy thing you were into?”
“We're not going all the way, just far enough to remind me what I've been missing.” Grace jumped on him in the middle of his living room after he tripped over the bunched denim surrounding his ankles.
“What do I get out of this?” he asked, nearly out of breath.
“You get to wash my back,” Grace answered seductively, then pulled every stitch of clothing off his body.
“That'll, that'll work for me.” Greg was counting himself lucky that he had found the best kind of woman, as far as he could tell, one who was backsliding and didn't make any bones about it. He didn't want to take any chances on Grace coming to her senses, so he hurried into the bathroom. He couldn't get the water going fast enough. “It's good and hot,” he panted. “Come on in.”
“Whooo. It's perfect,” Grace moaned, as she stepped beneaththe showerhead. “Don't say another word. I'd rather you used your mouth to make me scream.” Greg's face lit up after hearing Grace's command. “Just a little maintenance, and I'll be all right,” she said, breathing heavily. Eager to please, Greg lowered himself to his knees. Anticipation traveledthrough Grace's entire body as she guided his head betweenher thighs and held it there. While gyrating feverishly, her legs began to tremble. “Ooh, Greg. It won't be long. It won't be long. Hmmm, it's good. You're taking me there, baby. You're gonna fool around and make me ... make me ... ooh-oohhh ... ahhhhh!” she screamed endlessly. “Ahhhhhhhhh!”Her body jerked profusely, and her legs weakened.
Greg dashed from the shower soaking wet. He left Grace standing there, in the rapture of lust, just long enough to slap on a condom. Soon after returning, he bent Grace over the bathtub to give her more than she came there for. She grasped for something to hold on to but her hands found the flimsy shower curtain instead. Greg's bare feet slipped on the wet tile as Grace ripped the curtain from the rod. “Here Greg, right here,” she told him, gesturing wildly toward a puddle of water on the bathroom floor.
Moving rapidly to do as he was instructed, Greg pulled Grace down on top of him. Grace's face contorted with ecstasy.“You've been missing it too, haven't you?” she hollered. “You've been missing this! Is it good? It's good? Give it to me! Give it to me!” Greg kept on giving it to her until they both collapsed on the floor in a mound of steaming flesh, thoroughly satisfied and completely spent.
Grace climbed off of him and stumbled to the towel rack to dry off. She was fully dressed and before Greg knew it, she was on her way out of his house. “Grace, you gonna call me, right? Grace!” he yelled from the open door, wrapped in a damp towel.
As Grace backed her car out of the driveway another woman was pulling hers in. Grace sneered at the white woman in a gray soccer-mom minivan, then she slammed on the brakes. The stark expression staring back at her was one of jealously and disbelief. Grace hit the power window button.Once the window lowered, she leaned over to get a good look at the date she'd beat out for the starting rotation. “Sorry, but you might want to turn that thing around and go home,” Grace suggested recklessly. She felt intoxicated, havinglet it all hang out merely minutes before. “Believe me, he's got nothing left.”
When Grace tore out of the driveway, Greg sprinted after the minivan heading down the opposite side of the residentialstreet. He waved furiously with one hand and held on to the towel with the other. Grace could still hear him shouting, “Come back, Muriel! Come back! What did she say to you? Come baaack! She's my cousin. Ahh, man, I'm getting too old for this.” It didn't occur to Grace at the time that Greg's Muriel was also the same Muriel she'd read about from the Yahoo article outlining Edward's pending separation. Maybe now that she'd fallen out with Greg, those very public differencesshe had with her husband wouldn't be so gravely irreconcilable.
Three days after ruining Greg's playdate with the minivan-drivingsoccer mom, Grace was desperately trying to deal with breaking her solemn vow. Satan had chased her into the arms of contempt. It hadn't occurred to Grace that he had constructed a catastrophic set of circumstances by using André's wish to get to know his father against her. Meanwhile, she was growing closer to despising the woman she had become, one who allowed fear and uncertainty to derail her. Satan was busy pulling at her soul from both sides and in the middle. Fear and uncertainty rendered Grace utterlyconfused, twisted in the worst way and trading in her faith because of it.
The Friday afternoon call she received from Tyson was met with a welcome grin. He said he'd been thinking about Grace and wanted to know if she'd make time for a couple of drinks to ease his yearning for her. She agreed without hesitationon a time and place, but that meant having to skip André's important basketball game. Typically, missing out on a significant event in her son's life would have been out of the question before, but Tyson's call hit Grace where it hurt.
There'd be other games
, she convinced herself after the Devil jumped into the deal and made her tragically defective logic seem perfectly rational. Tyson wanting to meet with Grace in public was a new development for him, but Grace's flawed reasoning caused her to see this as an opportunity she couldn't pass up. Other than their quiet day at the park, Tyson was adamantly opposed to being seen with any woman, citing it as a privacy issue he'd just as soon not discuss.
This could be it, the turning of the tide
, Grace foolishly convinced herself. Likewise, she tried to convince herself that it wasn't so bad hooking up with Greg because that allowed her to get everything out of her system. Anyway, all Grace would be willing to give Tyson was a chance to be heard, that's what she wanted to believe.
Grace sat out in the parking lot of Café Bleu, an upscale happy hour spot on the north side. She wore her favorite dress, a camel-colored Gucci that fit her body like a glove. Tyson had bought it for her while on one of his business trips to New York months ago. He didn't have to ask her size beforehand.He simply showed up with the gift wrapped in a Neiman's box with a satin bow. He'd even seen her in it once, complimented how nicely it accentuated her figure, and then he'd immediately begun peeling it off with his teeth. When that memory came back to Grace as crisp as a hot southern sunrise, a haunting chill rolled over her. She considered callingTyson to cancel but couldn't muster up the power to dial his number once she'd recognized his car parked a few spaces over from hers. “What to do?” she heard herself say. “I'm here now, and so is he.” Grace turned off the ignition and sat there, watching as people entered the restaurant she, at one time, frequented on a regular basis. However, it lacked the same allure that it once did. The neon sign didn't shine as brightly, nor did the anticipation of meeting someoneto share her free time with. It was the same but different, and not the type of good different Greg had mentioned. Against Grace's better judgment, she was determined to meet Tyson, have a few drinks, and listenâonly listen. But first, she had something to say.
God. It's me againâGrace. I sure hope you're listening because I really need you to hear me tonight. I know that you're well versed on my shortcomings concerning sins of the flesh, so I'll get right to it. Lately, my desires have gotten the best of me. This celibacy thing we've talked about isn't working out quite like I'd hoped. It seems that the harder I try to do right, the more I want to do wrong. Not that it's an excuse, it's just that I get so lonely sometimes. I've even fooled myself into thinking that sharing a man's warm embracecould somehow satisfy those urges, but it's never enough. Eventually, I find myself wanting more and more until, well, you know the rest. I guess what I'm praying for is some extra consideration this evening because that old feelinghas me wanting to do the kinds of things I promised I wouldn't. You know my weakness, so I'm asking for the strength to make it through the night. Thank you, God, for hearing me out. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Grace's eyes darted up toward the sky as she climbed out of her vehicle. Although she felt uncomfortable and out of place when entering the hot spot, she needed to be sure what awaited her on the inside.
“I'll have a cranberry on the rocks,” Grace told the bartender,apprehensively surveying the swarming pickup joint. Tyson appeared unexpectedly before her drink had arrived. “Hey, you,” she hailed.
“Grace,” Tyson replied warmly. He actually embraced her like it had been decades since he'd done so. “That dress. There's that dress I've been dreaming about.”
“I'm surprised you remember. It was thrown clear across the room the last time you laid eyes on it.” Grace was happy she'd decided to stay because Tyson was the best-looking man in the entire restaurant, and he was with her. Although it wasn't a declaration of love, it wasn't a bad start.
“I saw your car outside,” she said, her eyes all aglow. “When did you get here?”
“Not too long ago, but seeing you in that dress makes me wish we were alone, somewhere else, you know what I'm saying,” he added with emphasis.
“I just got here, what's your hurry?” After having asked God for strength, Grace did not want to go out like that, at least not that fast. “I thought we'd hang for a minute and soak up the atmosphere and catch up,” Grace suggested.
“Grace, I'd love to. Sitting here with you is real cute, but I'm not going to have all these people in my business. I'm feeling
extra
after a double shot of that Grey Goose. You know better than anyone what that does to me.” Tyson planted an extremely endearing kiss on her neck. “Better than anyone.” Yes, she knew all too well that expensive vodka added the extra punch Tyson had alluded to. “I'm going to step into the men's room. Please don't break my heart when I get back.” The thought of getting some of Tyson's
extra
caused Grace's head to swim. She was daydreaming about it when a man she'd met recently approached her, arm in arm with a very attractive woman.
“Grace Hilliard, I knew that had to be you causing a commotionup in here,” the man complimented. “Brotha's finally stopped trying to get at my woman when you came in.”
“I'm sorry, you look familiar but ...” Grace responded, unable to figure out who that incredibly charming man was.
“Kenton, Kenton Reese,” he said eventually, his ego slightly bruised when Grace didn't readily recognize him. “You have our marketing account, Dream Creams. Rememberwe met? The conference room?”
It did finally dawn on her that Kenton was the man she'd flipped over after Chandelle's big build-up. “Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.”
“Don't apologize Grace,” chuckled Kenton's pretty date. “He could stand a dose of humility every now and then. I'm Delta, Kenton's fiancée.”
“Oh, I remember now,” Grace said excitedly. “Kenton did tell me that he was in love with some adorable sistah he couldn't do without.” Grace did fudge on Kenton's appraisal regarding his utter devotion, but she didn't see any harm in it. “You've trained him well, and I'm taking notes.”