Authors: Ryan Schneider
And yet. . . .
She chose to stay, refused to leave with him. He’d hoped their reunion would be mutual and unanimous.
All those nights at home, doing everything possible not to think about Candy. . . .
All those nights scouring the city, cruising the streets, in places where outsiders weren’t welcomed. . . .
In every fantasy Danny had envisioned of being reunited with Candy, they’d gone to each other at full velocity. Their bodies crushed together, wrapped in each other’s arms, while scared and hungry lips kissed hard and desperate kisses full of longing, daring to hope that the separation had ended, that the wait was over, and they were together again, now and forever.
And yet. . . .
Candy had chosen to remain at Robot Palace. With Zammy, Bernard, Atom, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Rukara, and Poo. One big happy family, just as Zammy said.
A family in which Danny, it seemed, was not welcome.
He would just see about that.
He lost Candy once. Now, she was found. He’d be damned if he was going to lose her again.
Danny stomped on the accelerator, and his car fishtailed in the dirt. The tires screeched as they grabbed onto Mulholland Drive, rocketing him toward home.
Already the calculations were unfolding in his mind, a plan taking shape.
He had some calls to make.
Chapter 34
Positrons to Popcorn
Danny sat in his living room, along with Floyd, Susannah, Howard, Canary, and Laura.
To be more accurate, they sat in the living room while Danny paced about, speaking aloud his thoughts, venting months’ worth of fear and frustration and anger. He gesticulated wildly with his hands, shaking his fists in the air in triumph at having located Candy at last, as well as frustration bordering on defeat, given that Candy had elected to remain at Robot Palace.
But none of that mattered.
Danny had a plan. He was going back to Robot Palace, and his friends were coming with him. It was now only a matter of approach, of how to gain an audience with Candy once more so that he could convince her to come with him. Upon seeing Candy for the first time, he’d been too shocked to mount a proper argument, an argument strong enough to effect a reconciliation, so that they might leave Robot Palace and begin their lives together.
But the next time would be different. He would be prepared. Already he was formulating the words he would say, love-laced apologies and devotions so grand, Candy could not possibly be anything other than convinced. And convinced she would be. Danny was certain of it. For although he knew little of life and the universe and everything in it, especially his own place, he did know one thing: he and Candy belonged together.
He would not give up until they were together. He would not lose track of her again.
Susannah, Floyd, Canary, and Laura watched and listened as Danny paced about, thinking aloud, formulating his plan. Howard moved to and from the kitchen, providing refreshments and food.
The doorbell rang.
Danny stopped pacing. “Who the hell is that?”
“I shall find out,” said Howard.
Danny heard the door open. He heard a brief conversation between Howard and a man whose voice he could not quite place. The door closed.
Howard entered and said, “Master Olivaw, there are some people who wish to speak with you.”
Howard stepped aside.
Into the living room came Zammy, Delilah, At
om, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Rukara, Poo, and Bernard.
No one spoke.
Finally, Danny managed to formulate a sentence, “What the hell is this?”
Zammy took a tentative step forward, the illuminated tassels on his leather jacket swinging. “Mister Olivaw, if you please. We need to talk.”
“Or I can have my friends throw you out of my home, the way you threw me out of the Palace earlier this evening.”
Zammy sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry about that. I abhor violence, okay? Despite what I do for a living, I detest conflict. In my personal life, I avoid it at all cost. So, to be perfectly honest, it’s very difficult for me to stand here with all these people looking at me and say what needs to be said. But if you can please give us a couple of minutes, I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”
“The only thing I want to hear you say is that Candy is outside and is waiting to come in.”
“See, that’s just it,” said Zammy, “that’s why we’re here. Candy’s gone.”
~
“Gone where?”
“Harley took her,” said Atom. “After you left, which is to say, after we threw you out and humiliated you. Harley had a chopper on the roof.”
“She grabbed Candy and they split,” said Blendo.
Canary stood up. “Harley . . . my granddaughter?”
Zammy continued. “She was ranting about the future of robotics and Les Grossman and the iCandy project and ridding the world of robots and taking Candy someplace where no one would ever find her.”
Canary returned to his seat, slowly, as Zammy’s words sank in.
“Well, that complicates things a bit,” said Danny.
“Which is why we’re here,” said Atom.
“We want to help,” added Blendo.
Rony took a step forward. “If you’ll let us.”
“Look, Mister Olivaw,” said Poo, “as soon as Harley said that she’s in bed with that fat-fingered fuck Les Grossman, we all realized how stupid we are. Harley’s been playing us, funding the Palace as a kind of false flag operation so she can use it as evidence that robots kill people and should therefore be banned. It’s because of her that our livelihoods have suffered. There’s three things in life that you don’t fuck with: a man’s automobile, his woman, and his livelihood. And Harley and Les Grossman are fucking with my livelihood. They’re fucking with it big time. I can’t get a movie made to save my life. I can finance it myself, but I can’t get a distribution deal. All I’m left with is doing stand-up comedy. Which I love, don’t get me wrong. But stand up doesn’t pay the bills. And momma needs a new pair of shoes, figuratively speaking, so that I can kick them off in a fit of joy one day when all this is over and things are back to normal. So, whatever it is that you’re planning, I want to help. I’m in.”
“Our livelihoods have been destroyed as well,” said Atom.
“That’s right,” said Blendo, “this new wave of anti-robot sentiment ruined our careers by driving our show off the air. We’re accustomed to busting things. We’re ready to bust some heads. We’re in.”
“For sure,” said Rony.
“All the way,” added Bella.
“We want some payback,” said Rukara.
“So do we,” said Zammy. “Delilah and I. See, we began Robot Palace as a non-profit organization designed to improve human-robot relations. But it has somehow evolved into the instrument of death you witnessed this evening. It’s been perverted. And now it’s being used against me. I’ve got nineteen separate lawsuits filed against me right now. Every single one of them filed by an anti-robot organization covertly funded entirely by Les Grossman. He’s trying to out-litigate me, making me go broke on attorney fees and court costs. And it’s working. I’ll be damned if I’m going back to delivering burritos on my bicycle. If now is my chance to stick it to Grossman, I’m in.” He put his arm around Delilah and pulled her close. “You’ll have to ask her yourself, but I’m pretty sure my wife is in, too. Right, sweetie?”
“Damn right,” said Delilah. “Z and I started Robot Palace together. It’s been our life’s work. We’re not going down without a fight. I’m in, too.” She caressed Zammy’s face. “And don’t worry, sweetie, you won’t ever have to go back to delivering burritos.”
Delilah and Zammy kissed.
Danny couldn’t believe it. “You guys are married?”
“Twenty years in February,” said Zammy.
Danny addressed Delilah. “What was all that complimentary cocktail talk and shoving your tongue in my ear?”
“That’s called closing the sale,”–Delilah put on her sexy, breathy voice–“Mister Olivaw.”
Zammy nodded. “She does that with everyone.” Zammy turned to Bernard. “Bern, didn’t you have something you wanted to say?”
“I did indeed, sir.” Bernard faced Danny. “Mister Olivaw, I stand before you with great sadness in my positronic flow, and grief in my mental relays. Though Candy and I have cohabitated these past months, our relationship has been that of kindred friends who also work together.
“You see, I, too, experienced a break-up much like yours. I was with a human female named Prima. Prima and I were very much in love. But the growing attitude against robots, and against human-robot relationships in particular, led to problems for Prima.
“Her family and friends did not approve of me.
“This caused much pain for Prima. Seeing Prima suffer was more than I could bear. I therefore ended our relationship.
“Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did. I had decided to deactivate myself. But then I met Candy. She helped me to see that life is precious, even the life of a robot like me. Together we created the performance you witnessed this evening. Though, in truth, it was entirely Miss Candy’s idea. She wanted to bring true art back to the Palace. She did not condone the executions. That is how we became friends and roommates and dance partners. She spoke of you often. It was her greatest desire to be with you. You should know, however, that she was deeply hurt by what transpired between the two of you. That is what led to Miss Candy’s downward spiral. But I believe that if you want to be with her and are willing to fight for her, she will return your affections most ardently.”
“I concur, sir,” said Howard. “I have studied the manner in which Miss Candy looks at you. It defies the known laws, and seems to defy the very essence of robotics itself. If there is the possibility of a reunion between you and Miss Candy, I feel comfortable in saying that everyone in this room wants to help.”
All around the room, everyone was nodding and voicing their agreement.
The doorbell chimed.
Howard answered the door and returned with Tim, Maggie, Issac, Nik, Gali, Copper, and Turing. They took turns greeting and hugging Danny.
“We heard there was a rescue operation underway,” said Tim.
Maggie spoke next. “We all love Candy, especially the kids. So if there’s a chance of getting her back and of you two being together, we want to help in any way that we can. We’re in.”
Before Danny could process the generosity exhibited by Tim and his family, the doorbell chimed again. Howard answered it. When he came back, four pairs of red cyborg eyes came with him: Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat stood in Danny’s living room.
“What are you guys doing here?” Danny asked.
“I called them,” said Tim.
Blackie stepped forward and took Danny’s hand in his own. “We felt really bad about what happened at the Fourth of July party.”
“There was too much pressure on you,” said Whitey.
“We gave you shit about buying that ring and not being ready,” said Kong.
“Yeah,” said VanCat, “and the new song . . . and everyone watching. . . . It was too much. I know I couldn’t have handled it.”
“We’re really sorry,” said Blackie. He continued to hold Danny’s hand.
“Yeah,” added Whitey. “So whatever it is you guys are cooking up, we want to offer our assistance. We want you and that stone-cold fox Candy to be together. We’re in.”
“Yeah!” said Kong. He wore a sleeveless red and black plaid shirt, and he raised his arms and flexed his muscles.
VanCat raised all four of his arms and flexed his considerably smaller muscles. “Yeah!”
The doorbell chimed.
“Who could that be?” Danny asked no one in particular.
Blackie at last released Danny’s hand.
Howard returned from the front door with two robots, one large and black, the other smaller and shimmering white. Susannah went to the pair and exchanged a warm embrace with both of them. “Everyone, this is Moshe and his mate Tikva. They’re clients of Candy’s.” She faced Danny. “I called them.”
Moshe and Tikva stepped forward. Moshe was very tall, equal in height to Kong. “Mister Olivaw, Lady Tikva and I are sorry for your loss. But Lady Susannah has explained that a new possibility exists. Tikva and I are here to help. Were it not for Miss Candy, Lady Tikva and I would not be here today. We owe her our lives.”
“Whatever is required of us,” said Tikva, “you need only ask.”
Danny and Moshe shook hands. “Thank you.”
“Robot Moshe,” said Howard, “I am Robot Howard. I noticed that in your greeting of Master Olivaw, you addressed him as
Mister
rather than the traditional
Master
.”
“Your observation is astute, Howard,” said Moshe. “I did not use the traditional address because Lady Tikva and I are sentient, sovereign beings. We have no human master. Nor should any robot.”
The doorbell chimed.
“What now?” Danny asked.