Fair Play (17 page)

“I just wish you weren’t so dead set on hurting yourself,” he says.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re still going after Aaron, aren’t you?” His eyes hold so much pain that I can feel my heart ache.

Aaron.

I realize that I haven’t thought about Aaron once all night. All of my thoughts were consumed by Evan. But Evan is right, isn’t he? My mission has always been to get Aaron and my plans are still in place. Aaron and I
are
supposed
to be together. We
belong
together. That’s what everyone
says
anyway.

But if that’s true, then why do I feel so good when I’m with Evan? Why does it feel so natural and right?

“Hasn’t this shown you the danger of playing with fire?” Evan asks as he strokes my cheek. “I know if you continue on this crazy pursuit of Aaron, you’re the one who is going to get hurt in the end. I don’t want to see that happen. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to pick up the pieces and put you back together again.”

I feel like I’m already broken and have been for a long time. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Evan.”

I can feel myself starting to get angry but I can’t tell if I’m angry at him or angry at myself. Or maybe I’m just angry. Maybe it’s a personality trait rather than a state of being.

“You really don’t know what I want,
Keira? Honestly?”

I know what he wants but I’m not sure I can give it to him. I have never seen Evan look so vulnerable and I don’t want him to
feel that way. I don’t want him to have feelings—true, honest and real feelings—for me. Because he’s half right. When he said that I didn’t know I wasn’t worthy of being loved, he was half right.

I’m not worthy of love but I know it.

“I can’t do this, Evan,” I say as I rise from the bed. The disappointment in his face is more than I can bear. “I have to go.”

“I know,” he says as I rise. He grabs my elbow and turns me toward him. “Look at me
.”

I look up at him and try to remain as neutral as possible but inside my heart is splitting into a million little pieces.

“If you decide you want something real, you know where to find me.”

Even though I know now that I want him, the thought of having something real with Evan scares me more than being in that shithole bar surrounded my ex-cons.

Eight

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.

Mark Overby

I go through the entire plan in my head for what seems like the millionth time. Roxie and I are going to get Aaron drunk then snap a photo in a compromising position and email it to Rainy.

I seem to have every possible combination of alcoholic be
verage just in case Aaron decides to be picky even though I’ve only ever seen him drink beer.

When I hear a loud pounding on the door, I know it must be Roxie. Les is too much of a wimp to pound like that and Aaron has too much class.

“What’s up, Skinny Ass,” Roxie says as she plows past me. She definitely fills up a room and it has nothing to do with her physical size. It’s her very presence that is so massive.

“So, is everything set?” Roxie looks around my
condo. “Nice place. Not as nice as mine, of course, but you’re not a reality television star.”

I roll my eyes at her. “Whatever. Did you bring the cameras?”

Roxie nods and removes two small video cameras from her large handbag. “We need to hide these. I’ll make sure they are set facing the couch. You just have to make sure all of the action happens there. Okay?”

I nod even though I’m having some serious
reservations about what we’re planning to do. Fucking around with people’s lives is fun to think about but actually doing it is another thing entirely. Not that I haven’t done a lot of really shitty things to people. Obviously, people don’t call you the Queen of Mean because you’re a saint.

But I don’t remember ever doing something quite this sche
ming and conniving before. I’ve taken advantage of people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities quite a bit but I’ve never actually created a situation to destroy a person.

“What’s up?” Roxie eyes
are narrowed.

“Nothing,” I murmur.

“Not having second thoughts, are you?” she probes.

I don’t want to admit that I’m having doubts. It makes me seem weak and
overly sensitive, two traits I despise.

Roxie stares at me as if she’s trying to figure out what’s going on inside my head. If anyone can figure out what’s going on in there, it’s Roxie.

Or Evan, who I have been trying really hard not to think about.

“Does the Queen of Mean actually have a conscience?” Roxie asks. She sounds incredulous.

I sigh. “Maybe I care too much about Aaron to actually hurt him.” As the words come out of my mouth, I’m not even sure where they’re coming from. “What’s that saying about loving something and setting it free?”

“How the hell should I know?” Roxie snickered. “If it’s not the love of money, it doesn’t interest me a bit.”

“If you love something, you should set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours; it if doesn’t, it never was. I think that’s the quote.”

Roxie narrows her eyes at me. “This is all
about Evan you know.”

“Why do you say that? I don’t think it has anything to do with Evan at all
.”

“Evan made you realize you actually have a heart.”

I frown. How could someone like me have a heart? Was I capable of loving? Was I capable of being loved? I wasn’t sure.

Roxie shakes her head. “Honey, please don’t tell me you’re suddenly too moral for reality television. I had you pegged for a completely unscrupulous bitch like me.”

“I am,” I say despite my misgivings because I know this thing
has
to happen. With all the pressure from my mom and Mrs. Donovan building, I don’t feel like I have much of a choice. “Let’s do this thing.”

It isn’t long before Les and Aaron arrive. They both have backpacks and seem to be in full study mode. I hate to break it to them but this study session actually has nothing to do with studying.

I’m embarrassed to admit it but I haven’t even opened any of my textbooks since I’ve been in graduate school. The exams were still a breeze but I attribute that to the wonderful Ivy League undergraduate education that my dad paid a pretty penny for. I guess it was worth it.

“Throw your backpacks over there,” I say pointing to the dining table.

The guys both place their bags on the table then turn to face me.

I clear my throat and give the guys one of my seductive smiles. “Since we’ve got plenty of time before our final projects are due, I thought it might be fun to have a few drinks and let loose.”

Les looks a bit perturbed and Aaron looks uncomfortable with my suggestion.

“I don’t really have time for fun,” Les balks. “Unlike you, I don’t have a rich daddy supporting me and I didn’t get an Ivy
League undergraduate education. I have to study and I have to maintain a certain GPA or I’ll lose my financial aid.”

I want to laugh at how pathetic Les sounds but I know it will only make him more upset. And I can’t allow him to leave because Aaron will never stay if Les doesn’t.

Before I can respond, Roxie makes her move. She gets close to Les and says softly, “I know I can make it worth your time.”

Roxie isn’t the most attractive person in the world but neither is Les. Since I haven’t had much experience with people who aren’t rich and beautiful, I’m not sure if they’re compatible in the looks department or not. Les is super nerdy and Roxie is fat— I wonder if those things cancel each other out.

I get the answer to my question when I see Les’s eyebrows shoot up. He definitely seems to be interested in Roxie’s proposition.

Aaron still looks unsure, so I move closer to him and say, “Come on, buddy. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve been able to relax and let loose. It’s only for one night.”

I can see Aaron’s wheels are spinning as he considers my proposal. I’m sure Rainy has kept a tight leash on him and this may be the only chance he’s had to party without the ball and chain. I remember when Aaron used to love to party. Before he met Rainy, he was always the life of every party.

“Just one drink,” Aaron acquiesces. “I don’t want Rainy to worry about me.”

Just as I suspect:
he’s on a very tight leash
. Well, let’s just see if we can loosen the leash a little so that he can finally break free.

“Margaritas?”
I suggest.

“Love that idea!” Roxie responds enthusiastically. “I have a special recipe. Where’s your blender?”

I head over to the kitchen area and point to a high speed blender on the counter. “Here you go.”

Roxie rubs her hands together excitedly as she peruses the collection of alcohol I have
also assembled on my counter. “I see everything I need. If you could get me some ice, I’ll be all set.”

The guys make their way over to the counter as Roxie pours a mixture of various types of alcohol into the blender. For four people, she’s very heavy handed on the hard stuff. Not that I’m complaining. If Aaron’s only going to have one drink, like he claims, it needs to be a strong one. I have my suspicions, though, that once he’s tipsy,
he’ll be inclined to indulge in more than one.

Once Roxie has her
special
Margaritas blended and poured into glasses, we each grab one and I propose a toast. “To old friends and new,” I state as I glance in Aaron’s direction.

He gives me a half smile as he lifts his glass to toast and I’m actually heartened that he might just let loose and I might be able to accomplish my goal.

I watch as Roxie and Les toast and I can see there is definitely a bit of a spark between the two of them. Even if I don’t have some luck tonight I’m sure those two will.

It doesn’t take long for us to down the first round of Margar
itas. Roxie’s recipe does add something special that makes it smoother and sweeter than the average run-of-the-mill drink.

“Another round?”
Roxie asks but doesn’t wait for a response. She’s already mixing another batch by the time Aaron makes an unconvincing protest.

“I really shouldn’t,” he says. “I promised Rainy I wouldn’t stay out too late.”

“I’m sure Rainy won’t mind if you spend a little extra time working on your final economics project,” I say as persuasively as possible as I hand him another full glass.

“Maybe we should have something to eat,” Les slurs and I get the impression that he doesn’t drink very much.

“I’ve got some chips and salsa,” I offer. “Appropriate for the Margaritas.”

“Yeah,” Les says as he puts the second round glass to his lips. “Chips would be great.”

I ready a serving platter with tortilla chips and mild salsa. It’s one of the few food items I have to serve. Since I don’t cook and don’t eat often or much, there’s not a lot of reason to stock groceries. Liquor—yes—lots. Food—no.

Aaron and Les devour most of the chips and salsa in a few minutes and I regret not buying that family-sized bag which at the time seemed like over-kill. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize there would be two hungry men in my apartment to devour them.
      As I make my way over to the couch, I make sure to grab Aaron’s elbow. I’m struck by the fact that for the first time in months, he doesn’t flinch or get stiff when I touch him. I have to conclude it’s because Rainy is not in the vicinity, then I smile because it feels like old times again.

The only difference is that when I look at Aaron, he’s still as gorgeous and as hot as ever but I don’t
feel
anything. There’s no tingle—no spark—no bolt of electricity through my body. He doesn’t turn me on the way Evan does.

And there he is again.

Evan.

Why can’t I get the guy out of my head and out of my sy
stem? It’s infuriating.

But I have to keep focused on the task at hand—breaking up Aaron and Rainy.

Aaron slouches into the couch and I curl up next to him. I’m happy that he doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that I’m practically on his lap.

“So, Aaron,” I say as seductively as I can. “How do you like my new place?”

He glances around the living area until his eyes land on mine. “Nice,” he replies.

“Do you like what you see?” I tease and wink at him.

He swallows and I can see he’s thinking about something. It’s almost like an internal battle is going on inside of him. The Aaron I used to know loved to party and was always the center of attention. The Aaron, who walked into my apartment a few hours ago, was like a pussy-whipped shell of his former self. But as he drinks and unwinds a bit, it seems like the old Aaron is trying to make a resurrection.

Les plops down on the settee next to the couch and starts to laugh. I’m not sure whether he’s laughing at anything in particular or just laughing because he’s getting wasted.

Roxie squeezes herself next to Les on the settee and the piece of furniture immediately looks too small for the two of them. Les doesn’t seem to mind at all because when I glance down, I see he’s already placed a hand on Roxie’s thigh.

“Drink up,” I say to Aaron when I see he’s still got about three
-quarters of his second drink left. “I’ll start another round.”

“I really shouldn’t,” Aaron says weakly then gulps about half of what’s in his glass. “This is really good, though.”

I rise from the couch and have to steady myself because the drinks were obviously stronger than they seemed and I’m really tipsy. I realize I’ll have to really slow down on the drinking because I still need to have enough together to initiate our devious plan.

When I see Aaron has finished his second drink, I take his glass and head to the kitchen area, where I pour him a generous refill. I fill my glass with water and ice to make it look like I’m still drinking so Aaron won’t get suspicious.

“This is my limit,” Aaron says as he takes the third drink from me. “It’s a good thing I’m walking home.”

I
sit back down next to Aaron and I can see that his eyelids are starting to get a little droopy. “Why don’t you lean back and relax,” I coax him as I gently place my hand on his shoulder. When he doesn’t flinch, I start to rub his shoulder a little bit and say, “You feel so tight.”

“Grad school is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be,” he admits.

I decide to go for it. I coax him to turn his back toward me and then I begin to massage both of his shoulders. “How does that feel?” I whisper.

“Great,” he says. “I didn’t realize I was so tense.”

I make sure that we’re both facing the video camera and I lean in close and whisper again, “I can help you get rid of all that tension, Aaron. Just relax.”

He heaves a sigh as I continue to work magic on his shoulder muscles. I have a feeling this will look very incriminating on the video but I don’t think it’s quite enough to re
ally make an impact with Rainy.

When I look over at Roxie and Les, it looks like
Les’s hand has moved a few more inches up Roxie’s thigh and when he whispers something in her ear, it makes her laugh.

“I think we’re going to get going,” Roxie announces and this puts a huge smile on
Les’s face. “Have you got everything under control?” she asks pointedly.