Fall (Romanian Mob Chronicles Book 2) (5 page)

“It is, but it’s not all bad.” Her eyes took on a faraway quality. “It’s very good, great, but you just need to know what it means, being with him.”

“Yeah. This is kinda unreal.”

“And what else?” she said.

I paused, not yet sure if I wanted to articulate what I was thinking.

“What, Esther? Say it.”

“I’m a horrible person,” I said.

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“When he was doing those things, the look on his face, then the way he looked at me after. I liked it, Fawn. A lot,” I said, voice going lower as I spoke.

Her expression softened with understanding. “And you don’t know how to feel about that?”

“Should I not feel horrible? I’m not into violence. But still…”

Fawn didn’t look surprised or disgusted or any of the other things I might have anticipated, and I sent up a silent thank-you to whatever higher power was responsible for bringing her back into my life. I’d always put up a good front, even before her terrible experiences, but Fawn had always had the power to see things clearly, cut right to the heart of what mattered.

“I won’t lie. It’s tough. They are… What they do… But think about how you feel. Do you trust him?”

“I don’t know, Fawn,” I said. “I don’t know him.”

“You do. Probably better than most.”

“I’ll take your word for it. But that doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is whether I’m going to be a grown-up and not get cock crazy over a mobster.”

She giggled, and I joined in. “Those are not images I needed in my brain, friend.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I sighed. “So what if he’s a crazy criminal. I’ve probably dated worse.”

“Probably?” Fawn said.

“Fine. I’ve definitely dated worse. But I’m not dating him, and I think we finally scratched that itch.”

Fawn said nothing, and I waited, expecting her to interject. When she didn’t, I said, “You got nothing?”

“Nope. Y’all are grown.”

“You suck, Fawn. You were supposed to tell me that it’s more than sex, that I need to give him a shot because I never know where it might go. And you just say, ‘You’re grown.’”

Fawn laughed. “If I’d said that, you’d have gotten all huffy about how no one tells you what to do, and then you’d never talk to the man again. Nope. Not falling for it. Your business is your business, and I’m going to trust you to handle it as you deem best. Now let’s go. I hear Maria.”

“Oh, you think you know me, huh, Fawn?” I replied.

“Mmm-hmm. I think I do,” she said as she headed toward the nursery, me trailing behind her.

“Well you don’t,” I said, voice brimming with bluster.

But Fawn, the turncoat she was, just smiled and nodded. “Whatever you say, Esther. Whatever you say.”

“That’s right,” I said, but even I wasn’t convinced.

Truth was, I’d wanted Fawn to tell me I was crazy for even getting started with Sorin, hoped that she would warn me away. Because while I didn’t know where this was going, I knew that it was an awful idea.

But I also knew I didn’t have the power to walk away.

S
orin

“
I
heard from Constantin
,” Vasile said the next day as we sat at Familie.

“You reached out already?”

“No, the old man came to me. Sent Petey to personally deliver the invitation.”

“Did he say what he wants?”

Vasile shook his head. “No, but I don’t doubt it’s about that issue at Esther’s.”

“Are you coming with me?”

I waited for his response, not quite sure what he’d say.

“You can handle it,” he said. Then he stood. “Let me know what happens.”

And then he left.

I was surprised. There had been a time, one not so long ago in fact, when he would have insisted on accompanying me.

Seemed I had earned some of my brother’s respect. I endeavored to keep it, which meant keeping my cool at Constantin, something I wasn’t certain I could do, especially not when I thought about Esther, what would have happened to her had I not been there.

I drove to Constantin’s, counseling myself to remain calm.

“Thanks for coming, Sorin. The old man is on the warpath,” Petey said when I arrived.

“You in trouble again?” I asked, pretending I didn’t know what this was about.

Petey chuckled. “Not this time. Come on, he’d like to see you,” Petey said.

I followed him through the club and down to the basement where we had met many times before. The scene that greeted me was different, however.

The two who had tried to rob Esther sat, hands duct taped behind their back, looking quite the worse for wear.

Christoph Junior stood next to his father, supporting the old man’s weight. Anton stood between the two chairs shirtless, torso covered in sweat.

“Sorin is here.”

The old man turned, as did Christoph, and Anton looked up. He nodded quickly and then returned his gaze to the cowering figures.

“Sorin, please come,” the old man said.

I walked toward him, gave a nod of respect.

“There was trouble,” he said.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Are these the ones who harassed you?” he asked.

“They are,” I said looking at one face and then the other, surprised at how defiant the one whose arm I had broken still managed to seem.

The old man tilted his head, and as quick as a flash, Anton delivered a crushing blow to the first and then the second. Not the only punch either of them had taken today. Christoph Senior turned his face down and shook his head in disgust.

“No respect. We’re too soft on them. Please accept my apology on behalf of my clan for the insult. And rest assured, it won’t happen again,” he said, his voice taking on a deep, almost primal growl, one that made an impact on me and had the two sobering with fear.

Even now in his reduced state, Christoph Senior was intimidating. I could only imagine how he might have been in his younger days. “Is this punishment sufficient, or did you have something else in mind?”

“Wait—” the boy screamed.

“
Taci!
” Christoph shouted and they both went instantly silent. “You brought this on yourself, and yet you beg for mercy. Have you no honor at all?”

The boys nodded silently.

“Have you?”

They still said nothing, and the room was silent save for a whimper that one couldn’t manage to suppress. Christoph Senior scoffed and then looked back to me.

“I should kill them just for that, but it’s your choice,” he said.

I looked at one and then the other, but I didn’t see them, not really. I saw Esther, what would have happened to her if I hadn’t been there.

“Give me your hand,” I said, gaze settling on the one who was clearly the leader after Anton sliced the duct tape that had held them.

He shook his head, turned pleading eyes to Christoph, Petey, and then, when there was no other option, Anton.

All stared at him with identical grim expressions on their faces. I watched as he looked back at me, saw his mind churning as he tried to guess what I might do. Saw the fear that he no longer tried to hide.

Saw the exact moment when he accepted that I was the only way out of this room.

He reached out, hand trembling so violently that Christoph turned his face down even farther and shook his head in disgust. I let his hand hang there, let his fear build until a broken sob escaped his throat.

Then I grabbed his hand. It trembled in my grip, so I held it tighter, looked into his eyes as I reached into my pocket. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened as I retrieved the knife. Eyes still on his, I pressed the knife against his thumb, pressed until it settled in his thumb joint.

Pressed harder, felt the skin give under the sharp blade, then the bone. Then pressed harder and then harder until his thumb gave way with a spurt of blood that splashed into the kid’s face.

I let him go, watched as he convulsed in his chair, eyes bouncing between his mangled hand and his now detached thumb.

“I think they’ve learned their lesson,” I said to Christoph over the kid’s screams.

I could have gone much further, would have not too long ago, and I wondered why that mercy had come so quickly and so naturally. I knew myself well enough to know that even a week ago, I wouldn’t have shown mercy, knew the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. But I thought of Esther, of how she would feel if she knew they were dead, and then decided to be merciful.

I also decided this would have to stop. She was getting to me, far too easily, making me soft when doing so had the potential to be deadly.

I had to keep my distance.

“Petey, why don’t you take me out?” I said, headed out the way I’d come, Petey beside me, the sound of Anton’s fist making contact with flesh ringing out beside us.

“Of course!” he said, a huge grin on his face.

Then he smacked me on the shoulder and dragged me deeper into the club. Not the way I wanted to spend my evening, but at least with Petey, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get away, that he wouldn’t give me space and time to think about breaking my resolve and going to her.

S
orin

I
held
out
for four days.

Told myself I didn’t want to be bothered.

Which was why I was currently sitting on her front steps like a lost little puppy waiting for her.

I laughed mirthlessly, wondering what my brother would say if he saw me here. Wondering what I would’ve said to myself three weeks ago if someone had told me I’d be doing this.

Fuck it,
I thought as I stood and headed toward my car. I didn’t wait for anyone, and I certainly didn’t come to apologize, which I knew she would expect, so no sense wasting more of my time or hers.

But as I reached for the door handle, I looked back, saw a shadow and then looked up at the figure walking toward me and immediately recognized it as Esther.

I stopped and ignored the surge that went through me at the sight of her, the way that my heart began to pound ever so slightly harder, and not because of the anger that had been on a low boil.

No, it was seeing her that did it. And that scared the fuck out of me.

I watched as she approached slowly, strides still strong and sure but lacking their usual energy.

I saw her jump and then stop when she looked in my direction and recognized me. But in the shadowy night, I couldn’t see her reaction to her first glimpse, and that annoyed me, leaving me at a disadvantage.

“Hey,” she said as she stopped to stand in front of me.

“Hey,” I replied.

And then we stood in the darkness, neither speaking. And so, finally, on an exhale she said, “I’m sorry, Sorin, but I’m—”

“No I’m sorry, Esther. I’m tired today, so you won’t be able to take advantage of me,” I said smoothly.

That got a faint smile.

“So I’ll see you later, I guess,” she said as she headed toward the stairs.

Ignoring how nonchalant she was, I grabbed her hand and smiled at her when she looked back at me, and hooked my arm into hers.

She smiled slightly but then shook her head.

“I’m serious, I really am tired. So I’ll stay here, but you have to promise to behave,” I said, looking at her seriously.

She smiled a little bit brighter this time. “I did two shifts yesterday and today. I won’t be good company.”

“You’re never good company. And I told you, I’m tired, so I’m going directly to bed.”

She laughed out loud this time. “I’m
always
good company, Sorin. And if you insist,” she said as she raised the key she held tightly and lifted her hand toward the door.

I watched her jiggle the lock in the doorknob and then open the door. She went inside, flipping on a light for what I assumed was my benefit.

“Come on in,” she said, hand still on the doorknob. “This is a little tricky.”

She closed the door behind us, lifting slightly to move it over the slope in the foyer floor, and then turned the big lock. Then she plodded down the hall and sat on the edge of the chair in the hall before she reached down toward her heavy boots.

I rushed to her and smacked her hands away, carefully untying the boots and then lining them up on the floor. As I did, I wondered what the fuck was wrong with me? I was helping a woman take off her shoes. Not sexy heels, but heavy steel-toed boots. And I was loving every minute of it. I shook my head.

She chuckled and said, “Do my feet smell that bad?”

“No. But you smell like a hardware store,” I said as I pulled her to her feet.

“I do work in a hardware store,” she said, a little flash of her sparkle coming through.

I pulled her onto her feet. “I don’t like that. You shouldn’t do that kind of work.”

She smiled even brighter then, though that smile dimmed when she looked at my face. “You were really serious about that?”

I nodded.

“Oh my God. It’s not the fifties, Sorin. A woman is perfectly capable of working at a hardware store,” she said, shaking her head.

“Capable or not, I don’t like it. You should do something nice and quiet. Safe.”

Her smile dropped completely on that word, and she stiffened.

“And are you?” she asked, her voice dipping.

“Am I what?”

“Safe.”

I held her gaze, tightened my grip on her arm. “I’m anything but, Esther. Do you understand what that means?”

“I’m not sure,” she said quietly.

“Fair enough, but I am who I am. And that’s not going to change. Ever.”

She continued to look at me, her expression solemn, the internal war she waged evident on her face. Then she finally nodded. I took that as a sign.

“Change of plans. You need a shower,” I said.

After a moment, she laughed softly and then stepped aside. “Lead the way.”

I did, pulling her behind me as I headed to her bathroom. And once we reached it I pulled off her dirty apron, heavy jeans, and long-sleeved shirt, and then peeled her underwear off until she was completely naked.

And as I removed my own clothes, she watched me, completely unabashedly, no hint of shyness or discomfort. So very Esther and a great test of my resolve. But though she watched me, I could see the exhaustion in her frame, the way her eyes drooped. Using self-control I hadn’t known I possessed, I cleaned her, but kept my hands to myself, and once we were done, I led her to the bed.

“I’m serious, Esther. Keep your hands to yourself,” I said as we lay down. “Or better yet…” I turned so that I was lying behind her and then wrapped my arms around hers. “Now go to sleep,” I said.

She chuckled and in moments, her breathing had fallen into the deep, even sound of sleep.

And as I lay there with Esther in my arms, I realized I had never felt so content.