Far Beyond Scandalous (27 page)

"I did not know you
played."
 
It was an inane comment,
but Gibson felt as if he had to fill the silence.

Amy looked away, not wanting him to
see her shame.
 
He might have his
secrets, but she had her own that were just as awful, if not more so.
 
"I don't any longer.
 
Not since that day, other than at my come
out when it was required, of course."
 
She licked her lips.
 
"I
rather lost my passion for it, though, I understand that I was quite good.
 
Before."
 
Amy took a deep breath, as if steadying herself before
continuing.
 
"I was a child,
really, when it happened.
 
Thirteen
years old and just on the cusp of womanhood.
 
I was to begin my training for my come out."

Gibson reached out and interlaced
his fingers with hers.
 
"I
understand that there was an incident."
 
He tightened his hold and stroked his thumb lightly over the back of her
hand.
 
"If you do not wish to tell
me the specifics, you do not have to, but I will listen if you care to speak of
it."

Today, it seemed was a day for
confessions, and Amy wondered if it might not be better to simply get
everything out in the open.
 
If there
was anyone she could trust with the truth, it would be Gibson.
 
"It was no secret that Thomas was
courting my governess, Miss Laura Carmichael, behind my family's back and
without their permission.
 
I do not
think he was in love with her, but rather in lust.
 
And Thomas was a virile man.
 
Even at my tender age, I could tell that easily enough, and I had no
real experience in the ways of the world."

"He took advantage of
you."
 
At least that was what the
Runner had discovered.

"He wanted my dowry," Amy
corrected softly.
 
"Needed it,
really.
 
He got Laura with child and
wanted a way to escape responsibility.
 
He had no intention of marrying her.
 
After all, he had gotten what he wanted from her and was ready to leave
her behind to face the consequences alone."
 
She tugged absently on the sleeves of her gown.
 
"It was no secret that my enormous
dowry had been fixed upon me from the moment I was born.
 
Whoever married me would become a very
wealthy man."
 
She snorted
indelicately.
 
"Not so much
different than now, it seems."

Gibson's heart ached for her and he
wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, but he knew that if he did
so, she would break down and would be unable to continue her story.
 
He had a feeling that she needed this
release.
 
Amy needed to tell her story
as much as he needed to hear it.

He offered her a bit of hope
instead.
 
"Not all men are
attracted to you simply for your fortune.
 
Some rather prefer your sharp wit and clever mind instead."
 
He punctuated his words with a rogue's
smile, the one he had practiced so hard to perfect when he'd been a child.
 
That made her laugh, and he was glad of
it.
 
She would be able to continue.

"One day around the time
Overton was planning to leave Heatherton Abby, he and I were alone in the music
room, the maid having been called away for a moment.
 
As no one suspected Thomas of anything duplicitous, and I being
so young, no one thought anything of our being alone together."
 
She grimaced.
 
"I do not know if it was a spur of the moment decision or if
he had been planning it.
 
Either way, it
was vile."

Gibson reached out to take her
hand, wanting to give her strength if she needed it.
 
"You do not have to tell me the rest if it is too
difficult."
 
The last thing he
wanted was to make this worse for her.
 
He hadn't meant for her to confess at all, really.
 
He simply wanted to know if she remembered
the man.

"It's all right," Amy
sighed and then looked at him with watery eyes.
 
"I need to tell someone.
 
After all this time, the truth should be known.
 
And you are the only one I trust to keep my
secret, Gibbs."
 

Straightening her back, she
continued.
 
"He was on top of me
before I knew it, his trousers open and his cock sticking out, already
hard.
 
He whispered such vile things in
my ear, told me precisely what he wanted to do with me.
 
Described all of the things he wanted me to
do to him.
 
All in rather vivid and
graphic detail."

"The bastard."
 
Were Overton still alive, Gibson would have
hunted the man down and murdered him on the spot.

Amy shuddered with the memory.
 
"I must have screamed, though I do not
remember doing so.
 
That sound alerted
my father who was in the hall speaking with another maid about dusting his
study or some such nonsense."

She paused for a moment and a tear
slid down her cheek.
 
"I think that
Thomas was certain we would be forced to marry when we were discovered, but I
also think he did not intend for anyone to reach us as quickly as they
did."
 
She pleated her hands into
her skirt.
 
"He was not yet all the
way inside of me when my father pulled him off.
 
However, he had taken my innocence.
 
That was clear to anyone who was in the room.
 
I'm not certain what the servants saw
either, but I do know that my father paid the two who came into the music room
with him to keep quiet about what they had witnessed."

"And Overton?"
 
Gibson already knew the answer.

Amy now wore a defeated look.
 
After all this time, she still burned with
the shame of it.
 
"He demanded that
my father allow us to marry, claimed that we were in love and that we were
desperate to be together.
 
He told my
father that I was anxious to lay with a man and had been unable to wait any
longer.
 
My father laughed in Overton's
face at the claims and refused to force me to wed, as you might expect.
 
The disagreement between my father and
Thomas went on for hours afterwards.
 
That night, after another terrible and final argument, Thomas rode out
on his horse, bound for the local village.
 

She sighed as she remembered that
long, seemingly endless night.
 
"Overton thought that he could go against my father by seeking out
the local vicar and confessing to him in order to force a marriage.
 
It would not have worked, as my father had
sent riders out immediately after the incident to notify those in town that
Thomas was, or would be, spreading lies about me, though no one at the house
knew that at the time."
 

Amy gathered the courage to look at
Gibson once more, her tears now falling freely as she confessed the last of her
greatest shame.
 
"Before Thomas
could reach town, however, he was thrown from his horse.
 
I was spared and my secret ruination was
safe.
 
No one but the family would ever
know."

Gibson hated to be the bearer of
bad news, but if his Runner had discovered the truth so easily, so could
another, including the one that Drake had engaged.
 
"I fear there is something you don't know, Amy."
 
He paused, but decided that being honest
was, as always, the best policy.
 
"Thomas had a brother.
 
Sometime in between his attack on you and the conclusion of his fight
with your father, Overton posted a letter to the man, detailing what had
occurred between the two of you."

Beside him, Amy went very still,
her blood turning to ice in her veins.
 
"What does that mean precisely?"

Gibson let out a weary sigh.
 
"In truth, I do not know, though I have
my suspicions.
 
I believe, as does the
Runner, that this brother received the letter and then came to see your
father.
 
For some reason known only to
the two of them, this brother then blackmailed the earl into keeping you out in
society until you married.
 
I believe
the brother, a man named Mark Overton, is behind that document dictating that
you must be seen in town, though to what end, I cannot even begin to
fathom.
 
However, given that your father
signed the document and set up the fund to ensure your continued lifestyle, I
can only assume that it is not a pleasant one."

"What harm could he possibly
wish to inflict upon me?"
 
Amy knew
old accusations could cause trouble, certainly, but to what extent she wasn't
certain.
 
"I was innocent.
 
It was his brother who was the
scoundrel."

"It probably depended on who
you eventually chose to marry."
 
Gibson truly had no idea, but that was his best guess.
 
It was as good as any other line of
reasoning, really.
 
"It is possible
that the brother meant to exact some kind of twisted revenge on you and your
family for the death of your music master by embarrassing you in front of
society at the very moment of your marriage."
 

Gibson rubbed Amy's hands in an
attempt to warm them.
 
She was far too
pale and cold for his liking.
 
"There is, of course, always the possibility of blackmail, though,
given that Overton has yet to ask for anything, that is unlikely.
 
It is even possible that he meant to
disgrace you before you married, therefore ruining you and forcing you to marry
him instead.
 
It makes no logical sense,
I know, but then, when dealing with the insane, logic is not foremost in their
minds.
 
I saw enough of that during my
studies at Bedlam to know."

They sat together in silence for
awhile, each lost in their own thoughts, but taking comfort in the presence of
the other.
 
Finally, Amy spoke again,
needing to clarify one last point, though she was certain that Gibson already
understood perfectly well.
 
He was far
too intelligent a man to do otherwise.

Gathering her strength, she swiped
a hand across her cheeks, brushing away the last of her tears.
 
"In truth, I have been ruined since
that day.
 
If any man courting me knew
the truth, he would denounce me, even though I was little more than a
defenseless child when it occurred."

"That is why you have waited
so long to marry."
 
For Gibson, the
truth could not have been clearer.
 
"You could not bear the thought of anyone knowing your secret.
 
When your husband bedded you on your wedding
night, he would know you were not a virgin."
 
Then another thought occurred to him.
 
"That was why you were not afraid of me in the summerhouse
that day.
 
It was also why you
practically begged me to make love to you."

Gibson knew his language was
slightly rough and unrefined, especially for a lady, but he wanted to be clear
and honest with her.
 
If he was going to
be able to help her navigate whatever came next, it was necessary.
 
Even if it was uncomfortable to speak in
that manner.

Amy sniffed, unwilling to shed more
tears over the incident.
 
"A man
who truly loved me would overlook that flaw.
 
He would understand that what happened to me was an act born of
violence."
 
She lowered her eyes
again for a moment.
 
"I never found
that man so therefore, I did not marry."
 
Then she raised her eyes, a hint of defiance showing in them.
 
"And if a man did not particularly
understand, my dowry is sufficient enough that he would be encouraged to
overlook that particular flaw."

"I understand.
 
All too well.
 
And it is not a flaw.
 
It
was not your fault.
 
You were a child
and you did nothing wrong."
 
Gibson
swallowed hard, tamping down the rage that threatened to swallow him
whole.
 
Yet he also pushed back the
tender words that he was on the verge of speaking.
 
So much had been said already today, and he did not want a
confession of love to be lost in the chaos.
 
"I would not have minded.
 
I
would have understood.
 
I
do
understand."
 
It was all he could
offer without betraying what was in his heart.

"Oh, Gibbs."
 
Amy flung herself into his embrace, once
more forgetting that they should not tempt fate the way they currently
were.
 
Right now, she needed comfort,
and he was the only man able to provide it.
 
"I know you would not.
 
And
I long for what could be."
 
And
then, as if a damn had finally burst, Amy wept into Gibson shoulder, crying for
all that was lost and all that would never be.