Fat Vampire Value Meal (Books 1-4 in the series) (70 page)

What was worse was that the more he thought about it, Reginald couldn’t convince himself that Timken was entirely wrong. Yes, what he had in mind was genocide. Yes, he’d done mass murder. Yes, it was reprehensible and no, no matter what logic there was, Reginald could not agree with his choice or support it. Reginald vowed to fight Timken and his army with every breath remaining in his undead body. But privately, within his own mind, Reginald replayed their encounter and couldn’t shake a simple truth: It was possible that Timken was right. Perhaps extermination of the human race was what the angels wanted. Perhaps anything less would result in the extermination of the vampire race. Perhaps, in the end, it really was one or the other. Maybe the time for cohabitation of both halves of the whole that used to be humankind had ended. Maybe there really could no longer be creatures who ruled the day and creatures who, quite separately, ruled the night. If Cain and Abel were real, maybe there’d really been a biblical flood. Maybe there really were powers that none of them understood. Maybe from time to time, the game playing itself out on Earth needed a hard reset, like shaking an Etch-a-Sketch or burning a forest to cinders. Maybe from time to time, nature wanted to clear the slate entirely and start over.
 

But regardless, the one thing that Reginald was sure of was that if it was “right” to wage the war that was at its tipping point, he wasn’t able to be “right.” If it meant saving lives, he was quite willing to be wrong.
 

Despite the fact that they seemed to be safe from Timken and his troops, Nikki and Reginald didn’t feel comfortable returning to their old homes. They didn’t trust Timken enough to lay their throats right out on the chopping block, and there were also the masses to contend with. Nikki and Maurice could blend in reasonably well, but Reginald stuck out like a sore thumb. As Timken had predicted, popular opinion applauded Timken’s compassion in releasing Reginald, but as Reginald had predicted, the masses weren’t as compassionate or forgiving. He’d never been liked amongst vampires, but that dislike had reached violent new levels. His house had been vandalized while he’d been gone. He was nearly attacked everywhere they went in public, and when Maurice was recognized, he was attacked as well. So they split the difference. They didn’t go home and they didn’t continue to hide. Instead, both Reginald and Nikki moved in with Maurice, and so did Reginald’s mother and Nikki’s sister.
 

And finally, so did Claire and her mother, Victoria. Claire suddenly seemed not only precious in and of herself, but also more important than ever. Everyone could feel it.

There was more than enough room for all of them in Maurice’s sprawling estate, and a few quick modifications of the grounds turned the entire complex into a well-defended fortress. Maurice hired Brian Nickerson, who was too proud to move in for his own protection, as head of security. Brian moved in with his entire family: his human wife Talia (who had decided to turn imminently instead of waiting as she’d planned, now that vampire bootcamp was out of the question) and his three human children. Brian prowled the grounds, supervising the house’s contingent of loyal guards. He brought with him his trademark good humor. In order to appear equally comic and intimidating, he even began wearing sunglasses and an incredibly tight black shirt that read, FUCK WIT ME AND GET YOSEF KILLT.

With so many of them under the same gigantic roof, the house took on the feel of a commune. In a way, it was nice. They were adequately protected and they seldom left — or, thanks to the sheer size of the place, seldom wanted or
needed
to leave. It was easy to forget that there was a hostile world just beyond the gates, and that a war was brewing. They had meals of blood and human food together, as a group. They gathered around fires in Maurice’s massive central fireplace, and Claire roasted marshmallows with Brian’s still-human children.

When they were alone, Reginald and Nikki let down the guards and happy faces that they held so carefully around the others. Reginald acted happy-go-lucky and uncaring, but behind closed doors he was studying the outside world as he’d never studied it before. He watched every news report he could and devoured all the information out there. He was in constant contact with Karl and struggled to build inroads with other leaders. The going was tough; nobody wanted to associate with a treasonous conspiracy theorist or believe his message: that the now-duly-elected president of the Vampire Nation (the title of “Deacon” had been retired, along with the formality of capitalizing it in print) had masterminded the biggest terrorist event since 9/11 and had genocide in mind. And if they were unreceptive to that message, they were flat-out allergic to Reginald’s other message: that the right course of action was to rebel against their beloved leader in order to protect and save humans.
 

Things between Reginald and Nikki took on an ominous quiet — in their relationship, but also in their moods. Both carried the burden of the world on their shoulders, and it was very heavy.
 

“How will it begin?” Nikki asked one night. They were sitting in their room in the east wing of Maurice’s mansion. It was very different from their room in the catacombs under the Chateau. This one looked like it belonged in Versailles.
 

Reginald pinched the bridge of his nose and repeated a sentence he was used to and loathed saying: “I don’t know.”
 

“Will they try to kill them all?”
 

“Not all,” said Reginald. “Vampires will still need blood. My guess is they’ll want to farm them. Like cows for milk.”
 

Nikki flopped back onto the bed.
 

“We should turn Claire,” she said. “To protect her. As a vampire, she’d be safe.”
 

“No,” said Reginald.
 

Nikki looked up, ready to protest, but they’d discussed it over and over and over. Reginald wanted Claire to have a chance to grow up and grow strong, rather than being frozen as a child forever. He knew all too well how it felt to have his growth arrested at an inopportune time.
 

“Better to be small and alive than dead,” she said.
 

“It’s more than that. She’s somehow
important
. I can feel it in my blood. She has a role to play, and she needs to be free to become whatever it is that she’s supposed to be.”
 

“According to her, you have a role to play too,” said Nikki, referring back to Claire’s prediction to Balestro back on that German hilltop. “You’re supposed to lead.”
 

Reginald laughed. He thought of the few vampires who didn’t want him dead. The list was very short.
 

“She’s growing into something,” said Reginald. “It’s amazing, watching her abilities develop. She’s opening somehow… like a flower.”
 

“Mmm,” said Nikki. “Poetic.”
 

Reginald closed his eyes. He thought of the signs of war he’d already seen, both at the top of the news in new animosities and below the surface, where only a mind like his could see it. It was coming. It was very, very close. And soon there would be massive bloodshed on both sides, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m scared, Nikki,” he said.
 

She leaned over and put a hand on his knee. “We’re safe in here. We’ll be fine.”
 

“I’m scared for the world.”
 

Nikki kept her hand where it was for a moment, then removed it.
 

After a quiet minute, she said to Reginald, “So riddle me this, Batman. You believe that Claire is important. That she’s somehow… I don’t know… destined for something?”
 

“Mmm.”
 

 
“And this
important
person, she believes that you are somehow also destined for something. She told Balestro. ‘He will show them the way.’ About you.”

“She also said ‘booga-booga’ to him and made jazz hands.”
 

Nikki laughed, remembering how Claire had bullshitted her way through her encounter with the angel. She’d been making it up, but Reginald had predicted that some of what she said held nuggets of truth, and over the past months, he’d come to believe it more and more.
 

“A lot of it was crap, yes,” said Nikki. “But you believe some of it.”
 

“Yes.”
 

“You believe the big stuff. The war. The change. The purge. And you showing them the way.”
 

Reginald thought for a moment before responding. His natural reticence to see himself as important, superior, or relevant wanted to suppress that last part, but the deeper, more intelligent part of himself felt sure that it was true.

“I guess.”
 

“So how can all of that be true without there being a way, somehow, to win in the end?”
 

Reginald inhaled, exhaled. Then he blinked and looked over at Nikki.
 

“You’re absolutely right.”
 

Nikki smiled. “Of course I am.”
 

“But that doesn’t mean that we — and the world — don’t have to go through Hell first.”
 

Nikki had stopped listening. She’d won her point and was now content to gloat. “Whateva,” she said. “Above my pay grade.”
 

“I’m still scared,” he said.
 

“Of course you are.”
 

“But I guess I just need to trust. Have some faith.”
 

“Sounds like a plan.”
 

“And wait for things to unfold.”
 

“Sure.”
 

Reginald stood up. “Suddenly, for the first time ever, I actually want blood.”
 

Nikki sat up, her face brightening. It was like a sick kid with nausea saying he felt well enough for a cheeseburger. She said, “I’ll get you a pouch!” And she started to stand, prepared to make for the kitchen. But Reginald grabbed her by the wrist.
 

“Vampire blood,” he said. And his fangs came out.

 
“It won’t nourish you,” said Nikki.
 

“But it’s so arousing,” said Reginald, walking into Nikki so that the backs of her calves bumped the bed.
 

“What kind of a girl do you think I am?”
 

Reginald answered by using what scant vampire strength he had to grab Nikki and leap with her clasped against him, into the air, and onto the mattress. The support broke away from the bed frame and crashed to the floor. Nikki, crushed beneath him, laughed. And then she showed him what kind of a girl she was.
 

Outside, beyond the gates, the vampire world bared its fangs.
 

And seven billion humans — many of them highly armed and ready — lived while they still could, filled with their precious, dangerous blood.
 

T
O
B
E
C
ONTINUED

REGINALD’S STORY CONTINUES IN
FAT Vampire 5
, available as of September 26, 2013.
Click here to get it!

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A
LSO
BY
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OHNNY
B. T
RUANT

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A
BOUT
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A
UTHOR

JOHNNY B. TRUANT
IS AN author, blogger, and podcaster who, like the Ramones, was long denied induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite having a large cult following. He makes his online home at JohnnyBTruant.com and is the author of the
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