Finding YOU Finding ME (You & Me Trilogy Book 2) (10 page)

            “Hello?
Hello, Slut? Guess you’re really scared.” He laughed. “Now that I found you, I
intend on making good with raping you. I’m not through with you yet.”

            That’s
when I slumped to the ground, shaking and paralyzed. I was strong, but years of
torment, of physical and emotional threats when I was the most vulnerable; left
me walking with an open wound.

           
Billy’s
out of jail. He’s out to get me. This time, he wants revenge.

Chapter
12

“
S
am! Are you alright? What happened?” Derek was
crouching near me, holding me in his arms while I buried my face into his
chest.

“He’s
found me. He’s been stalking me all this time…”

“Who?
Who’s been stalking you?” Derek asked. “God Sam, you’re so pale and you’re
shaking like a leaf.”

“Billy,” I
said.

“That
kid who was here to prank on us?” Derek asked. “He’s been bothering you all
this time?”

“Not
him,” I protested. “Another Billy…” a sudden wave of nausea came over me as the
memory of him holding me down on the table, naked and trying to scream but
muffled by his hand over my mouth, washed over me. I gagged, and Derek held me
up.

“I
don’t…I don’t want to talk about it, Derek,” I said taking a deep breath to
calm me down.

I
can do this. I can get past my fear of the bully who terrorized me and tried to
rape me that day at church.

I
shuddered again, as though my body wanted to get rid of the toxic memory of
that and of his threat over the phone. I have to or he will go after someone I
cared about.

“Sam,”
Derek said, “Whatever it is, you can tell me. It’s what I’m trained to do. I’m
a professional…”

I
looked into his kind puppy dog eyes and tried to tell him, but the shame of it,
made me clamp my mouth shut. I shook my head and looked down.

Derek’s
hand cupped my cheeks then and he leaned in. I thought he was going to kiss me,
but all he did was whisper into my ears. “It’s okay, Sam. You’re okay.”

I
want to believe him, but I can’t. I shook my head. “No,” I muttered. “It’s not
okay.” Memories of Billy at school, following my every move, began surfacing
like a tidal wave. Memories of Billy cornering me right when he can catch me
alone, crept into my mind. His threats, his unwanted touching, his attempts at
kissing me with his sloppy wet kisses. Everything about him disgusted me. My
mind had locked into a trance as the memories of small details I’ve blocked out
crept back in. How Billy smelled like sausages, how his face and hair was
always oily and dirty, how he pushed other kids around and stole things from
the smaller ones. Even at twelve years old when I first met him in school, he
was big, big enough to hurt an innocent kid in class so badly that he had to be
sent to the emergency room. Big enough to hurt his mother and father, and once
a teacher when they once tried to intervene as he was beating the crap out of a
boy in school.

“Sam,”
he jeered into my face, his breath smelling so foul I had to turn away to avoid
breathing it in. “You tell anyone this, I swear I would slit your pretty
throat.” He then pushed me into the girl’s bathroom, and fondled me while I
protested. “I want to take you in your daddy’s church,” he said after the fifth
time he groped me while I cried silently. “Next Sunday. You meet me in the
All-Purpose Room after service. If you don’t show up, I know where to find your
little sister. And if you tell anyone, I’ll cut off your tongue.”

“Sam,
Sam!” Derek was shaking me. “Answer me. Why are you shivering like that, why
can’t you say anything…it’s like you’re in a trance.” He pulled me up and
lifted me, carrying me in his arms down the hall to Gail’s office.

I
was conscious of what he was doing, but mentally paralyzed in fear as my mouth
stayed clamped tight, afraid of Billy’s threats.

“Gail’s
not here,” Derek said. “I don’t know what to do to get you out of this.
Sam…please talk to me. I’m here to help. All I want is to help you.”

Gail?
Did he say Gail? I know a Gail, and she told me something important today.
Something about someone I care about…how she needed me to help him.

Who?
What did he need me to do?

“Sam,”
Derek said. “How can I help? What do you need me to do right now?” He ran his
fingers through his wavy brown hair, and shoved it into his pants pockets. “I’m
going to call Collins. Maybe he knows what’s going on.”

Collins?
Collins McGregor…who made me feel things I’ve never felt before, sensations so
wonderful yet powerful, my body began reliving the pleasure of it, turning
warmer and warmer. “Collins!” I said suddenly.

“He’s
not picking up.” Derek said, his back turned to me. Then he turned around, his
face surprised, but ecstatic. “You’re talking. Sam, you’re saying something!”
He pulled me to him and hugged me tight. “I thought you were out. I’ve never
seen it before. You were completely somewhere else…”

Being
so close to him, feeling his arms around me in a kind loving way, made me feel
secure, and I nestled closer to him. “I’m sorry to scare you like that.
I…just…all these strong memories. So painful, it’s crippling. It came all at
once.” I shook my head not wanting to remember any of it. I focused instead on
the one memory that kept me from going there in my mind, with my body. Collins,
whose presence was so strong and powerful to me that I felt my lower stomach
clenching in memory of the last time I felt my entire body go. The pleasure he
brought to me to get me there…

“I
have to go,” I said to Derek, my face almost flushed. I didn’t want to let
Derek see me this way either or he might think it’s because of him.

Too
late. My body was against his, after all, and he was holding me tightly against
his chest while my heart began pounding faster against mine. “Sam,” Derek said,
his voice hoarse and husky. “If there is anything you want to talk to me about,
I’m here. You know that, don’t you?” He took my hands in his and began rubbing
them with his thumbs, sensual slow circles that added to my aroused state. “I
care so much for you, and it hurts me to see you like that.” He raised my face
with his fingers so he can look me in the eye. “Sam, I mean this, if you’re in
any trouble, call me.” His eyes dropped from mine to look briefly at my lips,
where his right thumb had begun to massage. “I want you to be happy, Sam, I
really do, but you have to trust me. Let go of whatever is hurting you, whoever
is hurting you, and allow new happier experiences to take its place.”

I
stared at him while he spoke, his thumb making my lower lips swollen and aching
to be kissed.

Derek
was talking about creating happier new experiences…well, that was what I had
wanted with Collins. Collins! “Derek,” I whispered. 

He
leaned in, thinking I wanted him closer. He closed his eyes as his lips lightly
brushed mine, but I turned away. A couple of days ago, I might have kissed
back, still unsure of my feelings for him and my feelings for Collins, but now,
after everything with Collins, I knew I had to remain friends with Derek. I
can’t cross the lines.

Derek’s
eyes hinted at the disappointment and hurt he felt when I turned my face from
his kiss, but I had to let him know. “Derek, thank you so much for watching out
for me and being here right now. I better go, though.”

“Sam,”
Derek said, “Are you going to be fine with driving or do you want me to drive
you home?”

“I
don’t live too far from here now,” I said. “I have an apartment.”

Derek’s
eyes widened. “Sweet. Now I know where to crash with you when we’re studying
late into the night for a final.”

“I’d
like that,” I said smiling, thinking of how great it would be to be in the same
classes as Derek, studying Psychology. For the first time since turning down
Stanford and staying, I was happy to go to college at UC Irvine.

I
leaned in and hugged Derek tightly. “You’ve just made everything a whole lot
better, Derek. Thanks.” I left and walked out towards the door. “I’ll see you
in a few days.”

“I’ll
take you on a tour around campus and we’ll shop for textbooks together.”

I
smiled. That sounded so good, so safe, and so normal right now. As I glanced
back at Derek, I could see how he was smiling sadly at me. My dear dear friend
Derek, whose arms felt so good and secure around me…I wish I can turn that
sadness away, but that would mean I’ve abandoned Collins, which I couldn’t
imagine ever doing.

Chapter
13

           
I
drove as fast as I could to my apartment,
racing up the elevators and to the front door. When I opened the door, I knew
something was different. The lovey dovey atmosphere it had was gone, replaced
with a sense of dread and despair.

            “Collins!”
I called out, running through the rooms. “I’m here, Collins…where are you? Are
you here?”

            I
ran through the living room, the library, the kitchen, and into my room. I
couldn’t find him there. Was he even here?

            I
checked my last messages from Collins, sent an hour ago, right before I
received Billy’s call.

           
CollinsM:
I’m at your place. Come home soon. I miss you. I need you. Love you so much my
heart is empty without your love.

Did
I waited too long to get here? Did he waited too long to see me and finally
left? Why did I sense he’d be here, waiting for me? My head started hurting,
and my throat was dry. I felt so thirsty all of a sudden. Drained.

I walked over
to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I noticed the leather tray on the
kitchen counter. Collins usually puts his car keys in that tray. Why didn’t I
check before? Sitting in that tray were his set of keys. But where was Collins?

My
heart started pounding, thinking the worse. What if something happened?
Billy…he said he’ll find me. He knew about Collins, too. What if Billy did
something to Collins?

I
called Collins’ phone and it went directly to his voice mail. “Collins,” I
said, “Where are you? Call me!”

There was a
faint beeping sound from down the hall. I walked down there with my phone, and
called Collins’ phone again.

Voicemail.
Then that same beeping sound in the hallway…a little louder this time because I
was closer.

When
I turned the corner to stand in front of the wall, I knew where it was coming
from…the Production Room.

I
unlocked the door, and saw it slid into the wall, opening it up until it was
large enough for me to walk through and into the dimly-lit room done in sensual
red silk and black velvet. In the middle of the room was a large medieval
four-poster bed with intricately carved wooden posts. An antique. In the corner
was a gilded gold cage, large enough to fit a person. There was a reclining
padded wall that looked like it can be angled.

Where
did that beep come from? And where was Collins?

I
walked into the middle of the room, right up to the bed. It was magnificent, a
piece from the Renaissance. The bed had red velvet curtains tied to the
bedposts. I touched the fabric, and luxuriated over the softness like doe’s
hair. I peered through the curtains to look at the bed. Maybe Collins was
sleeping there? I didn’t know what to expect.

No
one was there, except for the softest, most luxurious sheets. I wanted to lay
down in it and sleep, feeling all the exhaustion of this afternoon at Sawyer
House hit me. So soft, so inviting.

Go
find Collins, Girl!
My Susan conscience screamed at me.
You
promised Gail you’ll find him and talk to him.

That
was enough to jar the sleepiness out of me. “Collins?” I called, looking
around.

I
heard a click, and I turned around.

From
where I was standing right at the foot of the bed, I could see out of the
raised platform the bed was on up to the back of the room. It was as though the
bed was on a stage, and there was an entire control room in back.

I
was right! As soon as I spotted it, there was a door at the back. I began
making my way to the back of the room, right when I heard a familiar voice.
“Sam, you’re here.”

I
turned around and see Collins standing in the doorway. Large Bose
noise-cancelling headphones around his neck. He was dressed in black slacks and
a black silk shirt that was opened, as though he had just thrown it on.   The
sight of him like that with his gloriously chiseled tanned abs on display,
pushed all thoughts of worry out of my mind replacing it with my need to run up
to him and jumping on him until my legs straddled his hips. He caught me and
pulled me closer while I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. “Thank
God you’re alright!” I breathed into his face.

“Why
shouldn’t I be?” Collins asked, caressing my cheeks with his thumb. “Why were
you so worried?”

“I
couldn’t find you…”

“I
was in the control room,” Collins said.

“The
control room in there?” I asked pointing to the Production Room.

“Yes,
but I went through the back entrance to get into your bedroom to shower and
change,” Collins said. “I didn’t hear you come in at all. The control room and
Production Room is soundproof, and I was listening to some music to relax.”

“The
control room leads into my room?” Ingenious and sexy at the same time.

“How
else are we to make a quick getaway to the Production Room from our bedroom?”

“Oh
you had that planned out, did you?” I teased, happy to find him safe and in a
good mood, not at all what I expected from my earlier conversation with Gail.