Firewall (12 page)

“No, you’re right. I was caught up, too, in the private security work. It was a good-paying job and I let the money get to my head.”

Justin’s stomach lurched as he recalled the phone call he had overheard. Was he still thinking about accepting the job offer? How much money
did
Calder make? He only knew of the rate that Calder had presented to him, although he had a feeling it had been discounted further still because of their friendship.

“There’s something about protecting people, too, that really speaks to me,” Calder added with a murmur as he gazed off while holding the clothes in his arms. “It makes me feel like I have a much greater purpose.”

Justin groaned as he eased himself up into a seated position. “I can kind of see that. I bet it makes you feel like a hero, huh?”

Calder nodded with a thoughtful expression. “Yeah, it does, a bit. Do you ever feel that way when you find a security flaw in a system?”

“No. I don’t feel like a hero—although I’ve been told that I think like a criminal, which is a compliment, really.”

Calder laughed as he padded for the bathroom. “I can see that, too.”

When Calder disappeared into the bathroom to change, Justin hummed to himself. They had two very different ways of thinking and goals they wanted to achieve. Calder really was a people person while Justin was much more the lone wolf, although not through any fault of his own. But even then, every lone wolf still longed for company.

When Calder returned, wearing boxers and a black muscle shirt, Justin stared a moment too long. His eyes fell to the hints of tattoos visible above the muscle shirt that traveled from his chest up to his shoulder. Justin wished he was brave enough to get tattoos but what would he even get? Probably a little Link from
The Legend of Zelda
.

He only broke out of it when he realized Calder was staring back at him with a raised eyebrow. Justin stammered, not really aiming to say anything in general, and grabbed his own clothes to change.

While in the bathroom, Justin took the moment alone to calm himself down. He removed his glasses and wiped his face with a cold cloth. Once he was done, he put his glasses back on and gazed into the mirror. He had to keep it together. If he didn’t, things were only going to get all the more awkward between them.

Justin changed into his nerdy pajama bottoms featuring space invaders and a matching t-shirt. He shuffled back out into the hotel room and turned off the main light. He then removed his glasses, placing them on the bedside table, then crashed onto the left side of the bed. He crawled under the covers and pulled them up to his chin.

“Good night, Calder,” Justin murmured.

“Night,” Calder responded. “I have the alarm set for seven tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Justin curled up on his side, trying to breathe calmly to get his heart to stop racing. He had
never
shared a bed with someone else as an adult. He had tumbled into beds for sex once in a blue moon but had never stayed in them.

He was painfully aware of Calder resting next to him. The sheer heat his stocky body gave off could not be ignored. The urge to be even closer to Calder was so strong. The memory of how nice it had felt to hold Calder’s hand was vivid in his mind.

Justin rolled over to face Calder and was startled to find Calder already facing him as well. Their eyes locked, their faces scarcely inches apart. The heat between them built, their fronts so close but not actually touching.

What was going through Calder’s mind as they searched each other’s eyes? The silence between them was all-consuming.

Then Calder reached out and brushed his fingers through Justin’s hair. That touch alone had Justin’s body alight with pleasure and need. His body temperature shot up as he inched a little closer, leaning into the touch. At the same time, Justin raised his hand to touch Calder’s arm, although he had a couple of false starts before finding the courage to make contact.

Justin only tore his eyes away from Calder’s to fall down to his lips. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in a kiss with Calder.

As if reading his mind, Calder nudged his head forward. Their noses brushed together as their lips sweetly locked. Justin was over the moon with joy that it had been Calder that kissed first this time. It put Justin’s mind at ease that these feelings were not one-sided.

Justin was still blown away that Calder was being so sweet with him. Calder was so gorgeous and confident that he could’ve had anyone he wanted. Yet, Calder seemed to want
him
. Calder accepted his quirks and flaws—or at least had the patience to work through them with him. It was such a wonderful feeling. It made Justin feel like he wasn’t alone.

They kissed tenderly for a few moments. Calder was taking the lead and was definitely exploring. Justin was more than happy to give Calder control. He had no qualms with losing himself to Calder’s experienced mouth and hands.

Justin was growing hotter by the second, his lust for Calder growing. He broke the kiss to stop himself from getting even more aroused. He wet his lips and rubbed Calder’s arm, gazing back into his eyes again.

Shit. What was he supposed to do or say now? He desperately tried to read Calder to figure out what to do next.

When Calder moved forward and lightly kissed Justin’s forehead, he melted. “We should get some sleep now, Justin. Busy day tomorrow.”

“Y-Yes, a busy day,” Justin uttered as he drew his hand back to himself once Calder removed his fingers from Justin’s hair. Justin couldn’t stop smiling now as he gazed at Calder. It seemed as though Calder had no intention of turning away either.

“Good night.” Calder chuckled before closing his eyes. God, he was so beautiful up close.

Justin was glad that Calder broke eye contact first since it made it easier for him to close his own eyes as well. “Good night,” Justin murmured, tucking his face under his arm. It was going to take forever to fall asleep from happiness.

W
hen Calder awoke
the next morning, his heart jolted as he opened his eyes and was met with unfamiliar walls. He had been waking up most mornings like that since moving in with Justin.

Right, you’re in a hotel in Seattle for the convention. You’re fine
, Calder thought, as the haze of sleep gradually lifted.

Then, he was aware of a pressure against his back. He shifted ever so slightly to look over his shoulder.

Although the two had fallen asleep facing each other, Calder had shifted away during the night. Now Justin was nestled with his face between Calder’s shoulder blades. Calder was also aware of knuckles against his back and the knees against the back of his legs. Despite having shifted, it seemed as though Justin was still fast asleep.

The sweet shared kiss from the night before floated back to Calder’s mind. Justin had looked so ridiculously cute facing him that Calder hadn’t been able to resist kissing him. Yet, it had been more than just a simple kiss. As soon as their lips had pressed together, Calder had tingled all the way down to his toes.

He really cared for Justin in ways that he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit yet. Having Justin curled up against his back was a great feeling. He wasn’t used to waking up with other people in his bed since his last girlfriend years ago.

Having a warm, familiar body against him got the morning off to a good start. It made him feel so comfortable that he almost could ‘have drifted back to sleep. The alarm clock hadn’t gone off yet, so what was stopping him?

A sleepy, contented smile crossed his lips as he closed his eyes, pressing back into Justin slightly.

BZZT! BZZT! BZZT!

His phone buzzed to life on the bedside table, vibrating against the surface and letting its alarm blare for all to hear.

“Oof!” Calder grunted as Justin jolted awake behind him and punched him in the back, as well as kneeing him in the legs.

“S-Sorry,” Justin exclaimed as he scuttled away from Calder as Calder grabbed his phone to shut off the alarm.

Calder rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good, thanks. You?” Justin asked as he grabbed his glasses. It was more than obvious that he had been startled about their close proximity because he was now all the way over on the other side of the bed.

“I slept solidly,” Calder relayed as he leisurely stretched. “Probably the best sleep I’ve had in a while.” How much of that had to do with Justin being curled against his back?

“Sorry about cuddling you.” Justin uttered after a long moment or two.

Calder rolled his head to the side to take Justin in, smiling slightly at the way Justin was fidgeting. “Hey, it was no problem. I’ve always suspected you’d be a cuddler.”

“Pfft! Why would you say that?” Justin demanded as he tossed aside the blankets and stepped out of bed.

“Because you’re standoffish when you’re awake to most people. I just figured when you’re sleeping is when all the neediness would kick in.”

Justin’s eyes widened then hardened as he tossed his head. “I am
not
needy,” he defended as he grabbed a change of clothes from the suitcase. “For that, I’m taking the shower first.”

“You do that,” Calder teased, waving Justin off. In a huff, Justin strode off to the bathroom and Calder laughed lightly under his breath. The two had always gotten into it at times, bantering with each other over various things. Doing so in person was different; no less pointed, yet playful.

Calder had admired that indignant look and the swish to Justin’s hips. In the years apart, he had almost forgotten about that swish. The urge to snag Justin around the middle and pull those hips close was strong.

Calder was tempted to close his eyes for another few minutes but eased himself out of bed to check his computer for the weather, the route to the nearby convention center, and anything else he needed. He made sure to put pictures of Wallace and other potential problems on his phone, too, although he had their faces memorized.

Calder’s mind drifted, lulled by the white noise created by the muffled running of the shower in the background. The weather looked good, the traffic for the route he had planned was decent, and there didn’t seem to be any new dangers.

Then, his mind wandered back to the phone call from Don. How ballsy was he to call and try to get Calder back after letting him quit so easily in the first place? Don hadn’t been willing to negotiate with him, to fight for him back then, so what had changed?

They probably only just now realized what a good thing they had.

The pay raise was tempting and the opportunity to potentially choose his own clients was interesting. The thing was that they wanted him back straight away. He had told Don that he was under contract for at least two weeks and that there was no going back on that.

But after those two weeks were up...

He closed his laptop and rooted for his fresh change of clothes.

When Justin emerged again, Calder had to take a split second to admire him. He was looking very handsome that day with gray slacks and a blue collared shirt. Calder was used to seeing Justin wear clothes with different fandoms on them.

Justin’s skin was flushed from the hot water and his dark hair had been towel dried.

Beautiful.

“Shower’s all yours,” Justin said as he went to throw his old clothes into the suitcase. As he passed by, Calder caught the scent of a new cologne as well, although he wasn’t familiar with it. It had a citrusy hint to it that tickled Calder’s nose.

Calder nodded and grabbed his clothes and personal hygiene bag, disappearing into the bathroom. He needed to shower quickly to keep his mind out of the gutter. It was all too easy to think naughty things about Justin nowadays. The close proximity had triggered something deep down inside.

In record time, Calder showered and got ready, stepping out. “All right, let’s go grab breakfast and get to that convention.”

“Sure thing,” Justin easily agreed, jumping to attention and pocketing his phone.

Now it was time to get a good glimpse into Justin’s world.

J
ustin couldn’t believe it
. Seattle’s Security Secrets convention. He had heard all about it but had never attended it himself. To be honest, he had never thought to attend it because he had been confident in his abilities and had figured he wouldn’t learn anything new. He realized now that
that
was the kind of thinking that got him into trouble at Sybil Industries. It was also the kind of attitude that was going to doom him in the future as well if he didn’t shape up.

Deep down inside, he was starting to see what his coworkers had seen in him and he didn’t like it. He had to change. Even the short time with Calder in person was opening his eyes.

Calder was so good at interacting with people. Calder was by his side as they strolled through the convention, taking in the sights and conversing with people as they went. He was such a natural, and even if he didn’t know much about this particular industry, he was winning people over left and right. He was making sure that Justin got in good.

There were so many industry leaders there and Justin, for one of the first times in his life, was intimidated. They all seemed to have their stuff together and Justin was working his way up from the bottom. No, in fact it wasn’t completely from the bottom, since Justin had plenty of job experience but it was the business-building part that was new to him.

Each time Calder introduced him to any attendee, most of whom he already knew about, Justin’s confidence gradually built. While some of these people knew who he was, others didn’t. Even of those that knew him, some were keen to talk to him while others weren’t. It was almost guaranteed that the ones who weren’t interested in talking were wary of his fall from grace.

That fall was biting him in the ass but Justin was determinedly pushing forward. He
had
to push past that and move on with his life. Better yet, he had to convince complete strangers to move past what they thought they knew about him to give him a chance, too.

It was exhausting. This was taking way more energy than Justin was used to giving. Fortunately, Calder was in tune and steered him away to quieter areas when it seemed like Justin was getting overstimulated.

“There are so many people here. And we’ve only just been doing introductions!” Justin exclaimed.

“You’re doing well,” Calder assured him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “Any time you need a break, just let me know.”

“You’re already doing a good job at figuring out when I need these breaks,” Justin chuckled as he leaned against the wall and gazed around. “I can’t believe I’m going to be doing this.”

“Give yourself a chance,” Calder insisted with another award-winning smile.

“You’re getting a lot of attention, too,” Justin murmured. “I think anyone would scoop you up as a personal assistant in a heartbeat.”

“You think so?” Calder laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m yours only.”

Justin’s heart skipped a beat as he stared at Calder. Of course Calder had meant that he was his personal assistant but Justin naturally wanted to read more into it. The moments that they had been sharing ever since Calder moved in were impossible to ignore. That, compounded with the feelings Justin had had for Calder their whole lives made things even more difficult to keep straight in Justin’s mind.

Surely Calder must have had some of these thoughts in the past, too.

Once Justin was ready, Calder took him back through the crowds to mingle with people and listen in on panels.

T
he first panel
of the day was especially enlightening, since it was all about becoming a leader and building a strategic organization. Justin soaked up the words as much as possible, taking down plenty of notes. Alongside him, Calder was busy taking notes as well. It made Justin feel a lot better to have Calder there to fill in the blanks.

Calder was just as invested as Justin was, and it made him even more determined to succeed.

And after the first panel, there were many more to attend. Everything from identifying insider threats to improving the business was covered. There was also a Security 101 panel that Justin sat through, even though he knew everything about it and more. He had to keep reminding himself that he was also there for networking.

By the end of the day, at around six in the evening, Justin was feeling good about himself. Although some people knew him and steered away from him, others were curious and approachable. He had a feeling that the ones who were happy to chat probably hadn’t heard about the drama. But maybe they had and were trying not to judge him based on the rumors?

Finally, when the last panel of the day was done, Justin was beat.

“I don’t think Wallace was there today,” Justin uttered as he and Calder left the convention center together.

“No, he wasn’t. I didn’t hear anyone else mention him. I also checked with the registration desk in the morning and he hadn’t signed in. It’s possible he wasn’t interested in today’s events or something came up.”

“I’m glad he wasn’t there today.” Justin had been able to learn so much and speak with lots of people. If Wallace had been there, he might have been tried to sabotage him right from the start. Justin hated that he sounded paranoid but he had every reason to be.

“And if he’s there tomorrow, try not to worry about it too much,” Calder assured him. “I’ve got your back. Don’t let him win. You were great today.”

“Yeah?”

“You definitely won some people over,” Calder smiled with a certain fondness in his eyes.

The thing about Calder that really drew Justin to him was how attentive he was. Whenever Justin spoke with him, he felt like he was the center of Calder’s world. It was as though nothing could distract him and he only saw Justin.

It was humbling and also flattering to have that kind of attention. Justin found it infinitely easier to maintain eye contact with Calder than anyone else. He still wasn’t perfect, but he could hold the gaze more easily. Sometimes Justin caught himself staring perhaps longer than was socially acceptable, too, which he was also working on.

But Calder didn’t make him feel weird about any of that. He was always patient, and it was even more evident in person.

He dreaded the thought of Calder going back at the end of the contract. It almost made him sick to think about it. In such a short time, he had realized how lonely he really was and how Calder filled that void. It wasn’t like just anyone could fill that void, either.

It had to be Calder.

Justin blushed, then cleared his throat. “Before we get too comfortable, we should probably head out.”

“Look at you being adventurous,” Calder chuckled. “I think you’re right, though. We’re only here for another two nights. Do you have anything in mind?”

“Actually, I do,” Justin smiled.

“
W
e’re going
to the Space Needle?” Calder laughed he followed Justin’s “secret” directions and the beautiful structure loomed ahead of them. The iconic building with the rounded top and point was a treasured piece of the Seattle skyline. It wasn’t the tallest building, and some tourists complained that you saw better sights from other buildings for the price but it was still a hotspot.

“Yep!” Justin beamed as they found parking and stepped out of the car.

“Wow, we’re being
really
touristy,” Calder mused as they approached the building.

“It seems like something that shouldn’t be missed. I also booked a table for us at the restaurant.” He had managed to steal a moment away from Calder earlier in the evening to make a phone call from the bathroom. Not the most romantic location to make arrangements from but it had served its purpose.

Calder paused for a moment and peered at Justin.

Had Justin overdone it? Was it now too much like a date?

After a moment, Calder’s expression softened as he clicked his tongue and shook his head. “I’m your personal assistant. I’m supposed to be making those kinds of arrangements.”

Justin laughed, relief rushing through him. “I still want to be able to do
some
things on my own.”

“All right, I’ll give you this much,” Calder playfully agreed.

“We’re going to go up to the restaurant first since it reduces the waiting time to get in,” Justin mused. “At least that’s what I read online.”

Calder seemed to be impressed enough about the tidbit as they entered the line and were soon let in. As they stepped into the elevator with everyone else, Justin hugged the wall and kept close to Calder. Once the elevator ascended, Justin’s breath was taken away. The glass front of the elevator showed them the views as they rose.

It was only then that Justin noticed Calder standing more tensely at his side, just like the times before, going up and down the hotel elevator.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked as he nudged Calder.

“I don’t like elevators,” Calder admitted as he leaned in.

“I never knew! But you must go on a lot of elevators with your job.”

“I do, and I’m much better with it now but they still get to me.”

Justin was pleased to learn this new tidbit. Somehow, brave Calder being nervous of elevators was amusing and endearing. “You’ll be fine,” he promised, taking this chance to comfort Calder.

Calder nodded, but he did visibly relax a little, which made Justin’s heart swell.

Once they had reached the top, people filed out and headed for the restaurant. Once inside, Justin was blown away by the circular space. It was filled with tables, and although there were some young families around, the place did have a romantic feel about it. The fact that the whole outer wall of the restaurant was composed of massive windows overlooking the city certainly helped.

Once Justin gave his name, the two were led to the outer ring of the restaurant and given a table next to a window. Justin had specifically asked for this since it ‘would give them the best view of the city, without anything else obstructing it.

As the two sat down, Calder laughed, gazing across the table to Justin. “This is very fancy.”

“The fanciest thing I’ve done,” Justin admitted with a laugh as he picked up the wine menu. He had no interest in it but he thought he’d look.

“And the view is beautiful,” Calder murmured.

Justin glanced up from the menu and gazed toward him. “Yeah, it is.” Calder was sitting there, softly illuminated by the candle between them.

This was overkill. There was no way that this
wasn’t
a date.

When Calder glanced back his way and their eyes met, Justin’s heart skipped a beat. He looked out of the window to distract himself and recover. “It really
is
a beautiful view.”

There were so many things to look upon all around them, although they’d get a proper look from the observation deck later. Everything from the mountain ranges to the bustling waterfront was visible. He had specifically chosen this time of day for a reservation since the sun would slowly set over their meal and they’d see the city lights turning on. He had been so glad when the reservation was able to be squeezed in at such short notice.

Right now, the stresses of Wallace and the new business faded from Justin’s mind. Here, at what felt like the top of the world, only he and Calder existed.

The two enjoyed an elegant meal together—much more elegant than hamburgers, although Justin had still been tempted to order one. The conversation flowed easily between them as they enjoyed their meal and enthused about the new experiences they’d had so far. Justin was still really struck by their trip to the EMP Museum the day before.

Was it Justin’s imagination or was Calder gazing into his eyes more than usual? It flustered Justin but he didn’t shy away from the attention.

Once the meal was finished and paid for, the pair left the restaurant and headed upstairs to the observation deck.

The sun had almost set and the city was alive with lights. It was a beautiful sight as dusk set in across the landscape. If it had been lighter, they might have been able to see Mount Rainier, but Justin wasn’t too disappointed. No, as they strolled and enjoyed the panoramic view, Justin was in awe.