Chapter 31
“To this day, I still don't know what went wrong.”
â
Angel King
Â
As Theresa slept, Angel checked her vitals one last time before she got ready to leave. Satisfied with the results, she turned off the lights and tiptoed out of the bedroom. She bumped into Duke in the hallway.
“How is she?” he asked with concern.
“She's sleeping, but she's okay.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Well, it's after five, so I should be heading out. Besides, you're here now. I'm sure she prefers your bedside manner to mine.” Angel looked everywhere except at him. “I'll see you around, Duke.”
“Angel, wait. If you have a minute, it would mean a lot to me if we could talk. Please . . . it'll only take a minute.”
“Sure. Let's just make it quick.” Angel followed him downstairs, tormented by her conflicting emotions. She had gone out of her way to avoid him; now, interacting with him was inescapable.
“Reese told me about what happened between the two of you,” he began. “I want you to know how much it means that you found it in your heart to forgive both of us.”
“I'm afraid your wife deserves more credit than I do. If it wasn't for her making me face the Lord and my own sins, I probably wouldn't be able to do this.”
“Despite what you may think of her, Reese really is a remarkable woman. She's changed a lot since we met. You probably won't meet a woman more devoted to the Lord or to her family than she is.”
It stung to hear Duke talk about his wife in such heartfelt terms. “I can see why you love Theresa. She makes it almost impossible to hate her.”
“That's what makes her having this disease so unfair. Even in the midst of it all, she never gives up hope.”
“Well, if that's all you wanted to talk about, I should get going.” Angel headed toward the door.
Duke followed her. “There's one more thing. . . .”
Angel turned around. “What's that?”
“I never apologized to you. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. You were a wonderful wife, Angel. I was the one who messed up, not you. I hoped that you never blamed yourself for our marriage falling apart.”
“Duke, if all of this has taught me nothing else, I've learned that life is too short to waste time placing blame. Yes, mistakes were made, but I can't spend my life holding that against you. I meant it when I said I forgave you. I really am at peace with it now.”
“You're a good woman. Not many people could do what you're doing for my family and me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“I'm just operating in my calling. Nursing is in my blood. My mom used to joke that I even tried to help the doctors out during my delivery.”
He laughed a little. “I remember. How is Mama Ruby, by the way?”
“She's good. It's kind of you to ask.”
“She was my mother-in-law, Angel. I'll always care about her . . . and you.” Duke, looking at her the way he used to, made Angel feel things that she wasn't supposed to feel. He was much easier to deal with when she had convinced herself that she hated him. Now, she didn't know what to feel.
Duke seemed nervous. “Angel, I want to talk about the baby. Our baby, the one who died.”
Angel felt a wave of sorrow all over again. “I guess Theresa told you about that, huh?”
“She did, but why didn't you?”
“I tried to. In fact, I was planning to surprise you with the positive pregnancy test for Christmas. But thenâ”
Duke closed his eyes. “Then I told you that Reese had just had my baby, and I walked out on you and our unborn child.”
Angel nodded. “If the baby had lived, I would've told you eventually. At the time, though, I was just so hurt and confused. Once I miscarried, there really didn't seem to be a point in saying anything.”
“Angel, if I had known that you were pregnant too . . .”
“Would you have stuck around?”
He looked down. “I don't know what I would've done.” He raised his eyes to look at her. “Then again, if I'd taken just one look at you, knowing that you were carrying our child, I don't think I could have ever walked away.”
“Duke, can I ask you something? It's been weighing on me all this time, and I don't think I can truly have closure until I know the answer.”
“You can ask me anything you want.”
Angel exhaled. “What happened between us? I know that it's a moot point now, but it's always been an unanswered question in my mind. I thought we were happy. To this day, I still don't know what went wrong.”
He ushered her to the sofa, and they both sat down. “We
were
happy, Angel, but after a while, I started feeling trapped. Here I was, twenty-four years old, barely out of college, with a wife to support while she finished nursing school, bills to pay, a crappy apartment, and a job that I hated. My friends were still hanging out, having fun, being young. Then you started talking about having a baby, and it felt like I was living my parents' life.” He lowered his head. “I couldn't handle the pressure, so I took the easy way out.”
“Is that when you hooked up with Theresa?”
He nodded. “At first, being with her was just sort of an escape for me, you know, a way to forget about all of the stress waiting for me at home. That is, until she got pregnant. Her family was wealthy, though, and she pretty much told me that if I married her, I could go to grad school like I wanted and we could live here with her parents and not worry about money, plus have round-the-clock help with the baby. At the time, it seemed like the answer to my prayers. I see now how unbelievably selfish it was.”
“Why didn't you tell me how you felt? I would've done more, even if I had to drop out of school and go to work. I certainly wouldn't have been trying to have a baby.”
“I wouldn't have wanted you to leave college during your senior year to appease me, and I was too much of a coward to tell you I didn't think we were ready for a child.”
“With all these misgivings, why did you ask me to marry you at all?”
He swept her hair back and gazed into her eyes. “Because I was crazy about you. I loved you. I just wasn't ready for marriage.”
“That didn't stop you from marrying Theresa.”
“I was on the fence about that too. But once Miley was born, everything changed. I had a child now, and I knew that I had a responsibility to her and her mother. Don't ever doubt that I loved you with everything in me that had the capacity to love. I was just stupid. There's no other word for it.”
“You seem to have wised up now.”
“It was a long time coming. Thankfully, God looks out for babies and fools.”
“Which one were you?”
“At twenty-four, I probably was a baby. For leaving you, I probably was a fool.”
Angel felt her blood rushing to her face, and she had to remind herself to breathe. With Duke's dreamy eyes staring back at her and him looking scrumptious in his tailored suit, Angel suddenly had a lot more compassion for Sullivan. “Well, it all worked out,” she summed up. “You got your family, I got my degrees and my career. . . .”
“What about love? Do you have that, Angel?”
“Sure. I love my job. I love my friends, my church, my spin classes. . . .”
Duke tilted up her chin. “I mean romance. Do you have a man in your life?”
She trivialized his question with a laugh. “Who has time for a love life?”
“You should make time for it. Life is too short to spend it alone, and you're too good of a woman not to have the love of a good man.”
Angel blushed. “I'll keep that in mind.” She stood up to leave.
“Be safe, and thank you for everything you're doing for my wife and my family.” He pulled her into a hug. Angel didn't know whether to back away or stay there forever.
“Daddy, look what I drew!” shrieked Morgan, running into the room, waving a sheet of paper.
Duke let go of Angel and kneeled down to face his little girl. “Let me see it.”
Morgan pointed everyone out to him, “That's you, that's Mommy, that's Miley, that's me, and that's Miss Angel.”
“You're quite the artist,” said Angel, looking over Duke's shoulder at the drawing. “That's a beautiful picture. I feel so special that you included me in it.”
“We have to find a frame for it and show it to Mommy,” said Duke.
Despite whatever Angel felt during the moment of weakness in Duke's embrace, the picture reminded her very quickly about who he loved and where his priorities were.
“Well, good night, Duke,” bid Angel.
“Good-bye, Angel. Get home safe.”
Angel left, chiding herself for even going there with her emotions. Duke was married and, like it or not, she had to respect that. Nevertheless, she could still feel Duke's arms around her the whole way home.
Chapter 32
“I've apologized to you for the last time.”
â
Lawson Kerry
Â
Autumn rolled on, and before Lawson knew it, it was October. The Sunday dinner plans that she had made to spend around the table with Reginell, Garrett, and Namon came to an abrupt halt when she found Mark on her doorstep.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded to know. “How do you even know where I live?”
“Lawson, ever since you told me I was Namon's father two weeks ago, you have completely avoided me at work. You refuse to return my phone calls or my e-mails, and I'm sick of it. I'm not playing these games with you any longer.” Mark pushed his way into the house. “I want to see my son.”
“Are you crazy? You can't just barge in here like this!” she screeched.
“Where is he, Lawson? Where's Namon? I'm not leaving until I see him.”
Lawson pointed to the front door. “You're leaving
now
, Mark. Don't think I won't call the police.” She darted toward the phone and picked it up.
Mark snatched it from her grip. “You're going to call the police and tell them what?” he roared. “How you kept my son from me for fourteen years? How you robbed both of us of time we'll never get back? That you got him thinking that some other man is his daddy?” He thrust the phone at her. “Yeah, Lawson, you call and tell them that!”
Lawson set down the phone. “I've apologized to you for the last time, and don't you dare stand here and act like the victim in all of this!” She pointed to her chest. “
I
was the one raising our son by myself while you were living it up in Germany.
I
was the one helping him with his homework and sitting up with him all night when he was sick. How many football practices did you have to rush home from work to drive him to? How many times did you have to get down on your knees and pray that there would be enough money to pay the bills and still put food on the table? And I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?
Please!”
Mark watched her in disbelief. “Unbelievable! You're making this whole thing about you, Lawson! You wouldn't have had to do all that by yourself if you'd told me that I had a son. You let him think that I had walked out on him, which is something I never would've done. Even after we met again at work, you still didn't say one word about us having a child together. If I hadn't found his picture, you would've let both of us go the rest of our lives without knowing the truth.”
“All right, maybe I should've handled things differently,” Lawson conceded, “but I had to do what I thought was best for my child.”
“I'm his parent, too, Lawson. You don't get to make all the decisions.”
“I have for the last fourteen years, so what makes you think I'm about to stop now?”
“If I can't stop you, I'm sure a judge can!”
“No judge is going to listen to some irresponsible, belligerent ex-jock whoâ”
“Whoa, what's going on in here?” asked Garrett, rushing into the room with Namon at his side. “We could hear yelling way in the back.”
Lawson exhaled. “Garrett, this is Mark.”
Garrett froze and glanced over at Namon. “Is he here to seeâ”
“Yes,” answered Lawson.
Mark slowly walked over to Namon. He began to choke up upon laying eyes on his son for the first time. He could clearly see himself in his child, and had to suppress the urge to take him into his arms. “Namon, do you any have idea who I am?”
Namon moved to Lawson's side. “No. Why are you yelling at my mom?”
“We were just talking, baby,” Lawson explained. “We had a difference of opinion and things got kind of loud. I'm sorry.”
Mark reached out for Namon, but stopped himself from touching him. “How are you, son?”
“I'm fine. Mama, who is this, and what's he doing here?”
“He's a friend from work and wanted to know if we had an extra plate for dinner.” Mark admonished her with his eyes for lying. She mumbled, “This isn't the time, Mark.”
Mark forced a smile. “So, Namon, I hear you like to play football.”
“I play a little bit,” he answered.
“Are you kidding me?” asked Lawson, putting her arms around Namon. “He's the best player on his team.”
“I'm not half bad at it myself,” touted Mark. “If you ever want someone to throw the ball around with you, let me know.”
“My dad works with me,” said Namon.
It crushed Mark to hear Namon refer to Garrett that way. “I'm the head football coach at the high school. If you're thinking about trying out for the team next yearâ”
“I'll probably quit the team,” said Namon. “I want to be in band, and you can't do both since the band plays at all the football games.”
“Well, if you change your mind and decide to play, you come up to the school and work out with some of the players. I could even give you a few pointers.”
Reginell emerged from the dining room. “I was wondering where everybody slipped off to.” She spotted Mark. “Hi, I'm Reggie.”
He shook her hand. “I'm Mark.”
She gulped. “
Mark.
Mark?” Sensing the potential for disaster, Reginell offered to drive Namon to Kina's to play video games with Kenny.
Namon looked up at his mother. “Can I go?”
“Sure, sweetie. Just be home by nine.” Namon gave Lawson a peck on the cheek and left with his aunt.
“All right, now does somebody want to tell me what's going on in here? What did we just walk in on?” asked Garrett.
Lawson threw up her hands in frustration. “He's insisting on seeing Namon!”
Mark stepped forward. “He's my son. I have every right to see him.”
“So, you were just going to spring it on him in the middle of dinner? When had you planned to talk to us about it?” interrogated Garrett.
Mark bestowed a cool glance on Garrett. “I hadn't planned to talk to
you
about it at all. No disrespect, but this is between Lawson and me.”
“If it involves Lawson, then it involves me too,” Garrett fired back.
“My beef is not with you, man, but if you try to interfere with me having a relationship with my son, it will be,” warned Mark.
Garrett's voice deepened. “I don't take too kindly to idle threats, player.”
“Neither do I, nor do I give idle threats,
player
. Now, I already told you that this is between Lawson and me. I'm not dealing with you, period.”
“You don't have a choice,” said Garrett.
Mark abruptly pushed Garrett in his chest. “Yo, man, what's your problem? She ain't your wife yet.”
“You've got one more time to put your hands on me,” cautioned Garrett.
Mark surrendered his hands. “Or what?”
Lawson tried to calm Garrett. “Baby, he's just trying to upset you.”
“Are you
upset
, Garrett?” taunted Mark. “You
upset
because I was the first one to hit that? Are you trippin' off her having my seed instead of yours?”
Blind with fury, Garrett lunged and swung wildly at Mark. “You better not ever let me hear you say anything else to disrespect my woman!” he roared.
Lawson held Garrett back as he moved to strike. “Forget him! He's not worth it!”
Mark threw up his fists, ready to retaliate. “What kind of punk lets his woman fight for him? Is that what you've been teaching my son?” Mark went after him again.
Lawson lodged in between the two of them, and shoved Mark with all the strength she could muster. “That's it, Mark! Get out right now! The next time I catch you lurking around here, I won't hesitate to slap you with a restraining order. You got that?”
“You will not keep him from me,” panted Mark, catching his breath.
Lawson marched to the door and flung it open. “Get out! Go! Now, Mark!”
Mark took a few deep breaths. “I don't care what I have to do, I will be a part of my son's life whether you or your boyfriend here like it or not.”
“You can get out, or I can throw you out,” Garrett warned him.
Mark ignored Garrett and held up his finger. “One week, Lawson. I'm giving you one week to tell Namon I'm his father, or I'll do it for you,” Mark vowed and slammed the door behind him.