Forbidden Ballad - Rock My World (5 page)

I take a large sip and place the glass down on her coffee table.

“I’m so humiliated,” I whisper.

“I know, sweetie. That’s really awful. I don’t know what Walker would see in her anyway. She’s just a kid.”

I nod in agreement, but I cringe as I remember her trim naked body on top of Walker. She was twelve years younger than Walker, and obviously was able to please him in ways I couldn’t.

“How was rehearsal?”  Quinn asks quietly.

I shrug. “It was alright, I guess. I need the job. Leo Nash is a dick.”

Quinn laughs. “Did you expect otherwise? He has a pretty crappy reputation.”

I sniff. “He was listening in on my phone conversation with my former manager and then pretended he wasn’t. It was strange.”

I finish my glass of wine and stand up. I’m exhausted in a way that only comes with having your heart ripped out. “I’m going to bed. There’s another rehearsal tomorrow and I need to learn a lot of this music.”

Quinn nods and stands up to hug me.

“Everything will work out, Carly. I know it’s hard to see that now, but I really believe it.”

I hug Quinn back and go to bed. I fall asleep almost instantly.

I sleep dreamlessly which is a welcome relief to the past nights where I’ve seen Willow and Walker again and again. I know I’ll never forget that image.

Quinn is already gone when I wake up, and I take my time showering and getting dressed.

I’m supposed to work with Amber and a vocal coach today to learn more of Cobalt’s music.

I get to the studio early and Amber is already there.

Amber is tall and thin with wild, curly black hair. She’s a bit of a suck up, but she’s been incredibly nice to me.

We start looking at music, and a few minutes later, Erika, the coach arrives to work with us. The morning passes by quickly, and before I know it we’re breaking for lunch.

“Want to get something to eat?” I ask Amber as I take a long sip of water.

“Oh, I told my boyfriend to come meet me, but you’re welcome to come too.”

Ugg. The last thing I felt like doing was being a third wheel to a couple.

I plaster a big smile on my face. “No, that’s okay. You guys have fun!”

I sling my purse across my chest and head out into the bright daylight. I wander through the city, watching the different people pass by. I wonder if Willow and Walker are working together this very second, and I bite my lip so hard that I taste blood.

I see a deli ahead, and decide to stop in and get a sandwich. The deli is busy and cramped inside; something I take as a good sign. I decide to get my sandwich to go, and just as I’m walking back out of the deli, I see Leo Nash crossing the street towards me.

“Crap,” I mutter, looking down and veering down the street. Leo wasn’t looking at me, and I really doubt he would remember me after just meeting me last night, but still I did not want to strike up a conversation with him. He had been a complete prick last night, and I was a little embarrassed by my own bitchy behavior. This crap with Walker was turning me into someone I didn’t like.

As Leo came closer, I suddenly felt his eyes on me. It was hard to explain, but it was like my entire body caught fire, and I was suddenly overheated.

“Carly?”

I was too stunned that he actually knew my name, and I made the mistake of looking up at him. So much for hurrying away and pretending that I didn’t see him.

Looking at Leo took my breath away. Maybe it was something about the bright New York sun, or the way that Leo had pushed his dark glasses off his eyes, but I felt like I was seeing him for the first time.

He was nearly a foot taller than me, and his dark brown hair was disheveled in just the right way. At first glance his eyes were green, but then as I stared foolishly into them, I noticed they were most unusual. They were almost just as blue as they were green.

Aquamarine.

His lips were large and lush as if they ached to be kissed.

He was so handsome it hurt.

I realize that I am still staring at him and I’ve yet to answer him.

“Umm. Yeah, hi.”

Oh, genius.

He falls in step with me, and slips his shades back over his eyes.

“Look, I am really sorry about yesterday. I don’t know why I was acting like a jerk. I may have been listening in to your conversation.”

I look over at him, and he has the decency to look embarrassed. At least I think he does, because it’s hard to tell with his sunglasses.

“Well, thanks. I was pretty bitchy myself.”

He lets out a snort.

“What?” I demand.

“Nothing. I appreciate you acknowledging that.”

I want to snap at him, but I don’t. He seems different today.

“So where are you headed?” he asks, running his hand through his hair. I follow his hand back down to his side, and take in his torn jeans and black shirt. I think he’s one of those people who look effortlessly cool no matter what he’s wearing. I still feel out of place in my new clothes, and today is no different. I’m dressed in a long black maxi skirt, with a fitted white shirt. I can feel Leo’s eyes rove over my body.

I like that Leo is checking me out.

“I’m rehearsing the music for the tour.”

“Oh, right! How’s it going?”

“Really well actually. To be honest, rock music isn’t my thing, but I really like the band’s stuff.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m glad it’s going well.”

He looks at me sideways, as if he wants to say more.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s really none of my business.”

I sigh. “Go on.”

“It’s just that, I know who you are. I heard you left a headlining tour. Why would you give that all up to come sing backup for a rock group? It doesn’t make sense.”

There’s something about Leo that I can’t describe, something that makes me want to confess everything from the past two weeks, but I snap my mouth shut just before I begin spilling my secrets.

I shrug, trying to play it cool.

“Circumstances change.”

Leo stops in the middle of the busy sidewalk and looks at me.

“People don’t just walk away from that. What happened that made you leave Nashville?”

Now he was getting way too close for comfort.

“It’s none of your business,” I snap and walk away.

He hurries to catch up with me. “I know, I know, it’s not. I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. I’m starting over.”

“But why is Willow Green taking your spot?”

I stop on the sidewalk, and all I can feel is the pounding of my heart and the clamminess of my hands.

This is how it’s been lately every time I think of Willow Green. I can barely breathe, and my breath starts coming in shallow pants.

Leo notices instantly that I’m not okay.

“Hey, hey,” he says quietly, taking my hand. “It’s alright. You don’t have to talk about it. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

He starts pulling me down the sidewalk again so people don’t stare.

“I can’t talk about it,” I whisper and he nods.

We walk another minute or two in silence, and soon we’re on the block of the studio where I’ve been working on the music.

“This is me,” I say, taking a deep breath. My body still hasn’t completely calmed down.

“Alright. It was nice seeing you, Carly. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sure. You too.”

Another brilliant response on my part.

He starts to walk away.

“Leo!” I call out before I think about what I’m doing.

He turns back around.

“Where are you going?”

He gives me an absolute killer smile and I think my knees might give out.

“Therapy.”

He lifts up his glasses to wink at me, and then disappears into the sea of people.

While it seems like nothing more than an innocent encounter, I have the strange premonition that my already-distorted life has just been completely turned upside down on its head.

~~~

I find myself walking into rehearsal later, freshly dressed and showered and drinking a Red Bull to try to bump up my energy level. I have never had Red Bull before, but Quinn has assured me that it’s perfectly safe, and will give me the energy I need to make it through a long rehearsal after learning music all day.

I’m no stranger to long days; I did them all the time in Nashville. But I always had Walker by my side, and everything seems more tiresome now that I’m alone. Will I always feel this way? The thought is depressing, and I mindlessly smooth my ponytail back as I think about the bleak outlook of my life.

Of course, I know I’m ridiculous. Plenty of people would kill to be going on tour with a group like Cobalt, and I’m going to see dozens of amazing cities.

Amazing cities that I could have seen with Walker by my side.

Now I’ll be seeing them alone, and I know that they won’t look the same now that my rose-colored glasses have been removed.

Pity party for one, please.

Gosh, I’m getting on my own nerves! I need to snap out of this.

As if by magnetic force, my eyes are drawn to the far right corner of the room, and there is Leo in conversation with the drummer, who happens to be gorgeous. But I think I remember Amber telling me that Jacie and Leo were related.

Why did I care anyway?

As if Leo has sensed my own presence, he turns around and our eyes lock.

I’m not sure what it is about his eyes, but I’m turned to silly putty again, and I can’t pull away from his stare.

Finally Jacie must say something to him, because Leo looks back at her.

I seriously need to get a grip.

I put my bag down and try not to think about how handsome Leo looks, and how much I prefer him with his sunglasses off.

We get started on the songs, and I feel so much better after having spent the day working on music. I’m still nowhere near ready, but I’m able to harmonize much better, and I’m finally familiar with all the music now.

I find myself not thinking about Walker and Willow as much because I’m too busy staring at Leo which is incredibly easy when I’m singing back up to his music. I know that Leo has an awful reputation, but he seemed normal and down-to-earth today. He was kind and concerned. Maybe I misjudged him before. Or maybe New York is throwing off my Asshole Radar.

“You’re doing great,” Amber says to me on our break.

I can’t help but smile proudly. “Thanks!”

She shakes her long black hair out and looks at me. “I don’t know, Carly Michaels, I think you were meant to be a rock goddess.”

I laugh loudly and the sound surprises me. It’s a happy and carefree sound and I can’t remember when that happened last. It catches me completely off guard.

“Umm, and Leo hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night,” she says with a disapproving tone.

I give her an innocent look, but I can tell that Amber knows that I’ve noticed too.

“Be careful,” she warns. “There’s a reason why we needed you to step in last minute.”

With those words, she walks away and leaves me wondering what she means. I vaguely remember Jake saying that Leo was possibly involved with the singer I had replaced.

I push all thoughts of Leo out of my mind for the remainder of the rehearsal, and soon we’re wrapping up. I sling my bag across my body and make my way towards the elevator. Déjà vu strikes me as Leo comes hurrying up and sticks his hand in the elevator just before the door closes.

“Hey,” he says, getting in.

“Hey.”

We stand in silence as the elevator takes us down to the lower level. I chew my bottom lip and try not to focus on how I can see the thick muscles of Leo’s biceps under his shirt.

The doors slide open and Leo lets me out first. I start walking towards the door when Leo calls out after me.

“Want a drink?”

I spin around to look at him. Is he serious? Leo Nash wants to get a drink with me?

“Umm, I’m pretty tired, actually,” I admit. I’m not sure if going out for a drink with Leo is a good idea, even though my body is suddenly alert and tingling.

“Sure, sure. I get it.”

Except I want to be around Leo longer. After Leo left me today during my lunch break, I realized that I had felt so alive with him. I had never felt that way in Nashville, and never felt that way around Walker. Of course, I loved Walker more than I could express, and still loved him now even though I hated him. But something about being around Leo made my skin burn and my senses heightened.

“I guess I could get a quick drink,” I confess.

Leo’s face breaks into a sexy grin.

“Great! This way.”

He takes my elbow and gently leads me from the building and down the street. It’s like a surge of electricity when we touch and I see Leo startle for a second, too. Could he possibly have felt it as well?