From Best Friend to Bride (12 page)

Chapter Fifteen

H
ow the hell did he go from telling himself he’d keep the intimacy and sexual tension out of his mind to sitting in Megan’s SUV heading toward an unknown destination, fantasizing about peeling that dress up and over her head?

Cameron gritted his teeth and watched out the side window as his familiar town flew by. Megan may be teetering on the edge of speeding, but he wasn’t about to say anything. In all honesty, he could use the distraction. He needed to focus on something other than the way she’d shown back up at his door with a wide smile, a little white dress that shifted against her thighs when she turned and those beat-up brown cowgirl boots. She’d done this on purpose. He wasn’t a fool, and he knew Megan better than he knew any other woman. When she set her mind to something, she got it. Which meant he was not only fighting himself; now he’d be battling her.

He didn’t stand a chance.

“Where are we going?” he asked, still not turning to look back at those tanned thighs peeking beneath the lacy edge of her dress.

“You’re like a little kid.” Megan turned onto a dirt road just outside the city limits. “This property is for sale and there’s a cute little pond. We’re having a picnic. Nobody is around, and I doubt there’s even cell service here because it’s nestled in the woods. It’s too nice of a day to waste inside. The temperature is perfect.”

Private. Woods. No cell service. Yeah, she’d definitely be the end of him. They were officially going to be alone, and Cameron knew without a doubt he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her no matter how good his intentions may be. He was human, and every part of him wanted Megan for himself.

She pulled her SUV under a canopy of trees and killed the engine. Before he could pull on his door handle, Megan reached over the console and gripped his hand.

“No pressure, Cam.” Her eyes held his; her unpainted lips called to him. “I just wanted to get away and relax. You’ve been tense the whole way here.”

“I wouldn’t say tense,” he defended himself.

Megan laughed, smacked a brief kiss on his lips and patted his arm. “You’re right. Not tense. Terrified. Now help me get the stuff out of the back.”

Cameron had no choice but to follow her around to the back and pull out the basket she’d hidden beneath a large red blanket. Allowing her to lead the way, Cameron had a hard time keeping his eyes off the sway of the hem of her skirt as the lace edge shifted against her skin. He knew firsthand how silky she felt, how perfectly his fingertips slid over her.

Those damn cowgirl boots were only adding to his arousal. She was so modest, so small-town girl, yet everything about her called to him on a level so primal and carnal she’d probably be terrified if she discovered just how much he craved her.

Beyond the physical pull he had toward her, Megan was the only woman who made him want more for his personal life. She was the only woman who inspired him to want to make the impossible actually work.

“I can practically hear you thinking,” she called without looking back. “You’re not relaxing.”

Megan stopped near the edge of the pond. After giving the folded blanket a jerk, she sent it floating down over the grass. Cameron set the basket down and took a seat. She was right. The weather was rather warm for this time of year and he doubted they’d have many days like this left. Taking advantage of the time was a great idea. Now he just had to figure out how to remain in control here.

“For your information, I’m more relaxed now than I have been in weeks,” he told her as he flipped the lid on the basket.

Easing down onto the blanket, Megan shifted her legs to her side and smoothed her skirt around her knees. “Liar. You’ve barely said a word. That tells me you’re analyzing something.” She pulled out two bottles of water. “Most likely you’re overthinking us.”

Us.
They were an
us
at this point whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Megan continued to pull out items from the basket, as if discussing their confusing relationship with the surmounting tension was an everyday occurrence. Grapes, slices of bread, peanut butter, chips and cookies were all scattered around the blanket before he felt confident enough to speak.

Damn it.
He was police chief, for pity’s sake. He’d put up with quite a bit in his years on the force, dealt with even more before that when he’d been in the army. Yet here he was, trying to find the right words, the courage to talk to Megan as if nothing had changed.

Everything mattered where she was concerned. That’s why he was so nervous about hurting her.

“Can I be honest?” he asked.

Her hand froze in the middle of smearing a generous amount of peanut butter onto a slice of bread. Her eyes lifted to his as a slow smile spread across her face.

“You must really be torn up about something. You’ve never asked permission to do anything and I’ve never known you to lie to me.” She quirked an arched brow. “Have you lied to me?”

That smile held in place, and he knew she was joking. Little did she know how close she was to the truth. He had lied to her—by omission. He’d kept a secret that would most definitely crush her. And that was just the one about her brother, never mind the truth behind his feelings toward her.

“Okay,” she muttered as she went back to making a sandwich. “Apparently your lack of smile or response tells me all I need to know. I never thought you’d actually lie to my face.”

Cameron reached out, wrapping his hand around her slender wrist until she looked at him again. “There are things I can’t tell you, Megan. You know that. Right now I wanted to talk about what’s going on with us. I know you wanted me to relax, but I can’t when there’s so much between us that we’re both trying to ignore.”

“Oh, I’m not ignoring anything,” she countered. “I’m giving you space to come to grips with the fact we slept together.”

A soft breeze filtered through, picking up the curled ends of her hair and sending them dancing. Those silky strands had slid all over his body, he’d threaded his fingers through them, and right now he itched to touch her intimately once again.

“I handled that entire situation wrong,” he told her, releasing her wrist.

She reached for another slice of bread and put it on top of the peanut butter. When she offered him the sandwich, he shook his head and started making his own.

“You were so vulnerable,” he started, still recalling exactly how she’d trembled. “I was, too, for that matter. I’d hit a breaking point, though. I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

Megan swallowed a bite of her sandwich, reached for a bottle of water and took a drink before responding. “I don’t understand why you denied either of us for so long when we wanted the same thing.”

“Because in the end we
don’t
want the same thing,” he corrected her. “You know my stance on serious relationships, and I know you want a family. We’re better off as friends, and I never meant to cross the line because now we’re having a damn hard time finding our way back.”

Megan plucked off a grape and popped it into her mouth. “There’s no reason to turn back. Unless you think sleeping with me was a mistake.”

The way her green eyes held his, the way so many questions stared back at him, Cameron found himself shaking his head. “No. That wasn’t a mistake. I didn’t plan on it, but no way could I call what happened a mistake.”

“But you don’t want it to happen again.”

She couldn’t be more wrong. “It can’t happen again. Big difference.”

With a cocky smile, she went back to her sandwich. He had no clue what that smile meant; more than likely he’d find out because he had no doubt she was plotting something. Cameron finished his sandwich and dived right into the BBQ chips, his favorite. She always kept them on hand for him at her house.

And it was all those little things that added up to make a giant impact on his life.

“So how did you know this property is for sale?” Cameron stretched his legs out in front of him, resting his hands behind his back.

Megan started putting the leftover food back into the basket. “I have a coworker whose sister is the Realtor. She told me I could come anytime and fish or swim until the property sold. I guess the land was their parents’ and now the sisters don’t want it, so they’re selling it and splitting the profit.”

Cameron looked around at all the old oak trees, the perfectly shaped pond, complete with a small dock for fishing or jumping off. He could practically picture a large, two-story cabin-like home off in the distance on the flat stretch of land.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked.

Cameron glanced back to her. “It is.”

He watched as her eyes surveyed the land, saw a soft smile settle on her face. Such a look of happiness and contentment.

“You want this land, don’t you?”

Blinking, she met his gaze and shrugged. “Who wouldn’t? It’s just another daydream, though.”

He wanted her to have this, wanted her to achieve all those dreams because her entire life she’d put everyone ahead of her own needs. He knew she’d already fantasized about having a family here, kids running through the field and jumping off a dock into the pond. “Buy it,” he told her. “Nothing is holding you back. Buy this land and it will be here when you’re ready to build.”

Megan lay on her back, her head on his thigh and her booted ankles crossed. She laced her fingers over her abdomen and stared up at the sky.

“There’s so much holding me back.” Her reply came on a soft sigh as she smiled. “I just want to lie here and pretend for a bit longer. I love the sound of absolute nothing. There’s something so peaceful, so perfect about it. Like the world is one big happy place.”

Her eyes drifted closed, and Cameron’s heart broke for her. All she’d ever wanted was for everyone around her to be happy and have a peaceful life. She wasn’t naive by any means, but Cameron wondered if she truly believed she could make that happen. The woman was relentless; she’d try to help everyone she knew or she’d go down swinging.

Unable to keep his hands from her another moment, he smoothed her hair away from her face, trailing his fingertip down along her shoulder. “What’s holding you back from buying?” he asked.

He knew she was extremely frugal with her finances and she rarely bought anything for herself. Her house and SUV were both paid off. She wasn’t a shopper like some women he knew.

Those bright green eyes focused on his. Sometimes looking at her physically hurt him, because he knew one day she’d find the one. She’d settle down and marry, probably have children. And all that happiness was exactly what he wanted for her. He just couldn’t be the one to supply her needs.

“I may be moving.”

Cameron’s hand stilled, and the fine strands of her hair slid right out of his fingers. “You’re moving?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

All Cameron could do was stare. The air seemed a bit thicker as the severity of her words hit him like a punch to the stomach. He hadn’t seen this coming, and it took a lot to send his shock factor gauge soaring.

“Where would you be moving?” he asked.

“Memphis.”

Almost two hours away. Not terribly far, but not down the street, either, as he’d grown used to. He’d already told himself he couldn’t have his job and her. Something had to give. He just hadn’t been prepared to let her go so far. Damn it, he didn’t want this, but she had to make her own choices.

“I was offered a position at a new facility,” she told him, her tone soft as if she was afraid to go into details. “That’s where I was when I went out of town.”

Nodding, Cameron rested his hand at his side. “Did you like the place?”

Why did the selfish part of him want her to say she hated it? Why did he hope she would turn this opportunity down? Hadn’t he just told himself he wanted to see her happy, to see all her wishes and dreams come true for once?

Yet here he was, craving her, knowing he wouldn’t give in to his own desires all because he wanted her to live the life she deserved and not be tied to the stress and obligations of being with a cop.

“I did.” Megan focused back on the sky as the sun took cover behind a large white cloud. “There’s just so many pros and cons no matter what decision I make.”

“You need to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for everyone else.”

There, that was the right thing to say. Still, the thought of her leaving was like a vise on his heart. He didn’t want her to go, but he wouldn’t sway her decision unless she asked his opinion. Even then, he wouldn’t tell her to stay because he selfishly couldn’t stand the thought of going days or even weeks without seeing her.

She was obviously just as torn or she would’ve told him her decision sooner. “Have you talked to Evan about the move?”

Megan sighed. “No. On one hand, I think leaving and having him come with me would be the fresh start he needs. On the other hand, I don’t know that he would come.”

Cameron really wished he could tell her that most likely Evan would be in jail before long.

“Don’t let Evan factor into this,” he commanded, a little harsher than he’d meant to.

Megan’s eyes snapped to his. “How can I not?” she asked, jerking up into a sitting position. The way she twisted to confront him had their faces within inches of each other. “He’s my only family, and he needs me.”

“He needs to help himself for once.”

Anger flashed through her eyes. “I won’t fight with you about this again. You love Eli and Drake no matter what they do, and I love Evan no matter how much he screws up. He’s still my brother.”

Cameron wasn’t about to state the obvious, that Evan wasn’t near the men Eli and Drake were. Megan knew exactly how those three men lived their lives.

Tamping down his worry and frustration, Cameron lifted his hand to her cheek. Stroking his thumb along her soft skin, he held her gaze.

“I want you to make a decision that is strictly selfish,” he told her. “I want you to do whatever you want without thinking of the consequences, without thinking of who will be hurt or angry. What does Megan want?”

Without a word, she shifted away and came to her feet. Toeing off her cowgirl boots, she kept her eyes locked on to his. In a move he hadn’t seen coming, she lifted the hem of her skirt and pulled the dress over her head, tossing the garment to the side. Seeing her standing before him in a simple white cotton bra and panties shouldn’t have turned him on as much as it did, but every single thing about Megan had his body responding.