GianMarco (8 page)

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GianMarco wasn’t the only one having a very frustrating night. Maggie tossed and turned
in her bed. She should have been happy to discover that she had only put in one earring
that morning but she felt no relief. GianMarco had left her inside twisted in knots..
She didn’t know if she was coming or going nowadays. It was a testament to her fortitude
to pretend each day that she wasn’t affected by him. It took everything in her not
to stop what she was doing and stare at his masculine beauty whenever he walked into
the room. She ignored his tight, toned body and how his amber gaze made her quiver.

She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to contain herself around GianMarco
Grimaldi. Just when she’d finally found some order in her life, he remained the one
dark cloud in her sky. Over the past few months, Maggie had learned that there was
life after Eugene Williams and it was far better! She didn’t have to worry about spending
too much, or having to account to anyone for her actions. No longer did she have to
deal with the constant put-downs and critiques on her appearance. When she woke up
in the morning, she looked forward to her day. She’d gotten good at her job and took
pride in it. She was independent, making her own money, and she loved every minute
of it.

She and Montana had gone on a shopping spree to splurge on a new wardrobe to match
her newfound confidence. It had taken some convincing to get her to buy more revealing
clothing, but when she saw how she looked in her new outfits there was no going back
to the frumpy gear she’d worn before. She still set up her booth at the farmers’ market
on the weekends for extra cash, not because she was in desperate need of it as she
had been before, but because she enjoyed doing it, and she used the extra income to
put in her first ever savings account. She was no longer afraid to go out by herself
and enjoy life. Even when Montana wasn’t available to hang out, Maggie would go to
movies, attend festivals, and visit museums. She made new friends and enjoyed the
things she never got a chance to when she’d been with Eugene. She had even found a
new love. Herself. Maggie had never felt so good about herself. She enjoyed her job,
and Oliver had even intimated that if she was interested he could train her to become
a P.I.

The best change in her life was her relationship with her daughter, which had taken
a tremendous turn for the better. Taking Darren and Montana’s suggestions, she had
asked Camryn how she felt about what Maggie had gone through over the past twenty-three
years. She smiled as she remembered the conversation, still fresh in her mind.

“Hello?” Camryn sounded out of breath.

“Hi, honey, it’s me. Were you just out running?”

There was a pause. Camryn sighed, making it clear this she wasn’t prepared to have
a long conversation with her mother.

“I just walked in. What’s up? You usually call on Sundays.”

“Can’t a mother call her daughter just to say hello?”

“I suppose. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to hear from you today.”

Maggie hated how distant Camryn seemed when they spoke. She’d do anything to fix it
but forcing the issue when the younger woman wasn’t prepared to deal with it would
only serve to drive her further away. “If you’re busy, I can always call back.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t have any immediate plans.”

“I’m glad, because there is something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s important.”
Maggie trembled with nerves. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really had
a serious conversation with her daughter. Camryn would usually shut her out whenever
she attempted to have one.

Silence stretched between them before Camryn eventually spoke again. “What is it?
Did you call to tell me that you and Dad are getting back together? If so, congratulations.”
Camryn’s voice was devoid of emotion, making it quite clear she had already shut down.

Maggie had become accustomed to her daughter’s sarcastic tone but she refused to let
it deter her from what needed to be said. “No, but I wanted to talk about your father
and me.”

“What about?”

“You have to admit this conversation is a long time coming, don’t you think?”

“I don’t really think there is a lot to say about it, Mom. You’re a grown woman and
your life is your life.” Sometimes Camryn spoke to her like she was a stranger instead
of a mother.

Maggie could see this conversation would be more difficult than she thought as long
as Camryn remained hostile. “Well, if you don’t want to talk, at least listen, okay?”

“Whatever.”

“Watch your tone, Camryn. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life that you don’t
approve of, but I am still your mother.” Maggie paused and rubbed her temples. “Look,
I didn’t call to argue. I want to set things right between us. We used to be so close,
baby. What happened?”

There was silence on the other end of the line. “Camryn?”

“Fine, do you really want to know the truth, or are you going to stick your head in
the sand like you always do?”

Maggie flinched at the vitriol in her daughter’s voice. But she did ask for it and
she was prepared to hear what it was. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“The night of my junior prom, you were taking pictures of me and my date. Do you remember?”

Maggie bit the inside of her lip as the humiliated memory hit her. How could she forget
that night? “Yes.”

“That woman came to our house demanding to see Daddy. You shooed my date and me out
of the house as quickly as you could, but I knew why she was there. She wanted to
confront you about her affair with Daddy.”

Maggie had closed her eyes as she thought about the night when one of Eugene’s mistresses
decided to “claim her man.” She had thought that she had gotten Camryn and her date
out of the house before they could witness the confrontation. “How did you know that’s
what she wanted?”

“I knew about her! I knew about them all, but that look in your eyes when she came
to our house for God’s sake; I thought, maybe then you’d finally leave him. But when
I came home, you pretended nothing had happened. I couldn’t understand how you could
do that to yourself. I couldn’t stick around and watch anymore. It hurt too much,
especially with the guilt eating away at me.” Camryn broke off with a sob.

Maggie’s breath caught in her throat and her heart clenched in agony as she heard
the sound of her daughter’s pain. “Baby, I didn’t realize you knew about your father’s
affairs. I tried my best to hide them from you and Darren.”

“But we both knew and we couldn’t understand how you could act as if everything was
okay. On top of that, Daddy treated you like dog crap. He was always putting you down
and he was even worse whenever we were around his family. Why, Mom? Why did you put
up with him for so long?”

Tears cascaded down Maggie’s face. She hadn’t realized the damage she’d done to her
children by remaining in her dead-end marriage. She believed she’d been doing the
right thing by sticking to her vows, but apparently she’d been wrong. “I thought I
was doing what was best for you both by staying. I’m sure I’ve told you, I never knew
my family growing up, and I thought it was important that I keep us all together.
I didn’t want you and Darren to feel the stigma that I did as a child. And I guess
I convinced myself I loved your father to deal with the reality of that decision.
I didn’t realize then that I’d made the wrong choice.”

“But that’s just it, Mom. Darren and I prayed for the day you would leave Daddy. The
way he constantly belittled you made me hate him, and then I hated you for not standing
up to him. But, really, I hated myself most.”

Maggie fell back in her seat upon hearing that confession. “Why?”

“Because I should have said something about those women. I was out with some friends
to catch a movie once and I saw Daddy with another woman. He made me promise not to
tell you. He said he’d buy me that Gucci bag I wanted. I kept quiet. I felt like I
sold you out for a purse. I will never forget that look in your eyes when that woman
came to our house. You looked like a puppy that had been kicked. You have no idea
how guilty I was. I donated that purse to Goodwill the very next day. I wouldn’t have
been able to enjoy it after that.”

“Oh, Camryn. Don’t blame yourself. You were a child.”

“I was sixteen.”

“That’s still child in my book, and besides, you father had no business asking you
to keep quiet. That’s a terrible burden to place on anyone, let alone your teenage
daughter. You are not to blame, Camryn.”

The younger woman sniffed. “But I feel like I am. Maybe if I wasn’t born you wouldn’t
have stayed with him. And he couldn’t keep using me and Darren to blackmail you.”
Camryn cried harder.

Maggie’s heart broke for Camryn’s pain. “Honey, please don’t cry. I don’t ever want
to hear you talk like that again. You and Darren are my world. I might have made a
lot of mistakes in my life but I must have done something right to give birth to you
two. It’s been an honor to be your mother and I wouldn’t trade either of you for anything.
I would go through everything over again, as long as I could have you two. I love
you, baby.”

“I love you, too, Mommy. I’m so sorry.” Camryn continued to unleash her tears in a
wave of sobs.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, too. I wish I had realized the effect my staying had on
you and Darren, but things will be different from now on. Actually, I hope the divorce
will go through soon. I’m learning to enjoy life without your father. You’ll see a
new me the next time you come to visit.”

“I do miss you, Mom,” Camryn spoke between sniffles.

“I miss you too, baby. When we see each other, maybe we can talk about this some more,
go shopping, and do girlie things.”

“I’d like that very much.”

“You have to promise me one thing, though.”

“Sure.”

“If you can forgive me for what I’ve done, you will eventually have to forgive your
father as well.”

“No way! Not after what he’s done.”

“Camryn, your father and I are no longer together, but he will always be your father.
He may not have been a good husband, but I’m sure he loves you and your brother very
much. It doesn’t have to be instant, but just think about it. Okay?”

“He loves us when we’ve fallen in line with his plans. He sees me and Darren as his
investments, not his children.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true.” Maggie wasn’t sure Camryn’s assertion was wrong, but she
didn’t want her daughter to carry any bitterness in her heart.

“But it is. Daddy only throws money our way to substitute from his absence in our
lives. It’s not the same thing.”

“If you can’t forgive him because he’s your father then do it for yourself. Do you
see what holding in the pain has done for our relationship? You only have one father
and he won’t be around forever. Even if the relationship doesn’t go to your satisfaction,
you can at least say you tried. Don’t live your life in regret.”

“Okay,” Camryn sighed, “but I’m not going to be nice to his new bimbo.”

“You don’t have to be nice but try to be cordial.”

“Mom, how can you be okay with that?”

“I wasn’t okay with it at first, but being bitter about it won’t change anything.
I’d rather find my own happiness than worrying about what your father is up to.”

“That’s a positive way of looking at it. Okay, if you can suck it up, I’ll do my best
but I won’t make any guarantees.”

“As long as you try, that’s all that matters.”

They continued to discuss their feelings, crying some more and even laughing at times.
They talked for a few hours, catching up on things going on in their lives. By the
end of the conversation, Camryn promised to come up for a visit at the next semester
break. Once they hung up, Maggie felt better than she had in a long time.

Once she received the final divorce decree she’d finally be free of the shackles of
her past. Eugene assured her it would be final any time now and it was just fine with
her. It was funny how she thought of her marriage. Months ago, she didn’t want to
see the dissolution of her family, but now she realized she’d always have a family.
Eugene was just not a part of it as she used to envision. And that was just fine with
her. She realized she didn’t love him, and hadn’t for a very long time.

Maggie was making it on her own and loving it. When her lease was up, she planned
on finding a bigger place. If it weren’t for GianMarco everything else in her life
would be close to perfect. It should be illegal for a man to be that damn fine.

It was still hard to fathom that they had almost made love on her couch, not to mention
nearly kissing earlier today. Her body went up in flames when she remembered his touch.
But she was all too aware of the ramifications of what an affair would mean with her
hunky boss. She had already been dumped by Eugene, whom she didn’t find half as delectable
as GianMarco, so she knew she’d be devastated if she were to have an affair with him,
only to be discarded later. He didn’t seem like the monogamous type. Besides, a man
like him could probably have whoever he wanted.

It occurred to Maggie he might only be experimenting to see what it was like to be
with a woman her size. Or maybe he chased anything in a skirt. Whatever it was, she
wasn’t going to be his “flavor of the month,” so she treated him with the same professional
courtesy that she gave Oliver. It was no easy task, however. She fought to keep her
eyes trained on her computer whenever he stepped into the office. She’d pinch herself
when he was around as a reminder to not get caught staring. Often she held her breath
when he was close by so she wouldn’t giving herself away by saying something stupid.