Read God's Doodle Online

Authors: Tom Hickman

God's Doodle (28 page)

considered unmanly 140

detrimental effects 141–5

and the Duchess of Argyll 7

female 182

and first experience of orgasm 175

as male only 182, 183

and oral sex 183–6

religious views on 140

solitary 182

speed to ejaculation 181

women masturbating men 183

measurement

by the medical profession 36

methods of 37

and overweight men 37

reality versus rumour concerning celebrities 38–43

and research on gay men 36–7

self-measurement 34–5

of testicles 47–9

Mediterranean 166

Men: An Investigation Into the Emotional Male
(Hodson) 59

Mencken, Henry Louis 217

The Merchant of Venice
(Shakespeare) 163

Mesopotamia 65–6, 184

Michaelangelo Buonarroti 50, 162

Middle Ages 10–11, 12, 69, 78, 79, 81, 84, 92, 100, 125, 129, 130, 139–41, 148–9, 154, 187, 190

Middle East 12, 67, 69, 108, 116, 166

Miles, Rosalind 25, 46, 139

Miller, Arthur 183

Miller, Henry 56, 77, 171, 181

Miller, Sienna 41

Milward, Richard 213

Minnesota University 111

Mogul Empire 121

Mondale, Walter 25

Monroe, Marilyn 39, 183

Montaigne, Michel de 63

Moody, Rick 48, 51, 186, 190

Morris, Desmond 84–5, 97, 99, 100

Mortimer, John 179

Mountbatten, Lady Edwina 131

Mountbatten, Lord Louis 131

A Moveable Feast
(Hemingway) 30

‘Mr Torpedo’ 30

Muller, Hermann 202

Muslims 117, 130, 162

Mussolini, Benito 205

Mustique 173

My Secret History
(Theroux) 217

My Secret Life
(‘Walter’) 135, 179–80, 203

Myra Breckinridge
(Vidal) 20

Mystery
Dance: On the Evolution of Human Sexuality
(Margulis & Sagan) 47

Nabokov, Vladimir 33

The Naked and the Dead
(Mailer) 191

Napoleon Bonaparte 31, 40–1, 116

National Health Service 165

Nature
magazine 48

Nelson, Horatio 195

Nepal 124

New Guinea 213

The New Male Sexuality
(Zilbergeld) 26

New Scientist
125

Nicholas I, Emperor of Russia 100

No More Mister Nice Guy
(Jacobson) 208

nocturnal emissions 139–40, 141

Normans 116

North Africa 108

Novak, Kim 39

Novarro, Ramon 39

nudity

adult flaunting of 88–91

Ancient Greek admiration for 87

in art and advertising 104

covering and uncovering 91–103

on the Internet 103–4

and persecution of the circumcised 162–3

small boys and 87–8

on stage and film 103

walking and sitting in public 104–5

Oceanic peoples 91

Odysseus 9

Onion
magazine 40

orang-utans 45, 46

orgasm 74, 75, 136, 137, 180–1, 193–6, 206, 207, 214–15

Origen of Alexandria 124

Orlando, Vittorio Emanuele 106

Orton, Joe 2

Osiris 66

Ottoman Empire 121, 122, 129

Ovid 135

Oz, Amos 212

Paley, Maggie 55

Palmerston, Lord 161

Papua New Guinea 92

Paracelsus 71

‘The Pardoner’s Tale’ (Chaucer) 93–4

Paré, Ambroise 63, 171

Parker, Alan 213

penile implants 159–60

penis

accessorising 108

accidents and injuries to 113–15

aesthetics of 50–6

boys’ angst concerning 22–3

curbing its activities 139–45

curses aimed at 166

and dealing with a micropenis 125

erections 170–5, 181, 197, 211

feelings of inadequacy over 29–32

as fertility symbol 167–8

flaunting 87–105

fondled in greeting 68–9, 106

human compared with animal 45–7

infinite variety of 8–9

insults related to 166–7

likened to a face 9–10

magical properties of 71, 106

male competition (or envy) concerning 24–7, 32–3

male feelings toward 52, 59

in mythology 65–8

naming of 10–13, 75

and oath-taking 68–9

and penis captivus 130–1

possible fate of 218

purpose-made protection for 115

racial variations 17–22

regarded as trophies after battle 115–16

removal of 115–20, 121–2

ridiculing 41–3, 53

schizophrenia concerning 2

shrinking hysteria 127–8

size and shape 13–17, 22–33, 34–44, 70, 108, 210

supremacy of 64–9

thinking with 1–2

transplants 163, 168

unpredictability and limitations of 135–9

and urination 106–7

and VD 131–5

vulnerability of 112–15

ways of enlarging 27–9, 108

women’s attitude towards 2–3, 43–4, 51–9

worship of 76–86

Pentimento
(Hellman) 57

Pepys, Samuel 38, 176, 182

The Perfumed Garden
130

Perón, Eva 39

Persians 188

Peru, Peruvians 18

Phalles (Roman god) 67

phallic symbolism 83–6

phallic worship

and carved penises 79–80

Christian imagery and beliefs 77, 78–9, 80–3

and Christ’s foreskin 80–1

and damaging of male genitalia by women 77–8

feasts and festivals 79–83, 107

in India 76–7

Phoenicians 66

The Pillow Book
(film, 1996) 17

The Pillow Book
(Sei Sh
ō
nagon) 61

The Pirate
(Robbins) 136, 185

Plastercasters 40, 104

Plath, Sylvia 51, 176

Plato 202

Playboy Foundation 184

Playboy
magazine 27

Pliny the Elder 71, 139, 155

Points of View
(TV programme) 98

Political Warfare Executive (PWE) 167

Polyphemus 9

Popplewell, Mr Justice 98–9

pornography 27, 31, 103–4, 167, 183, 186

Portnoy’s Complaint
(Roth) 23, 175, 181

‘Portrait of a Former Penis Bigot’ (Roberts) 9

Poseidon 9, 83

Potemkin, Prince Grigori Alexsandrovich 89

The Prehistory of Sex
(Taylor) 45–6

Prescott, John 43

priapism 158–9

Priapus 66

Principles of Nurturing Life
142

Private Parts
(Stern) 31

Profumo, John 7

Proust, Marcel 211

Puppetry of the Penis
(play) 103

Purple America
(Moody) 48, 51, 186, 189

Puzo, Mario 57

Rabbit
quartet (Updike) 9, 20

Rabelais, François 96, 115, 171, 174, 199

‘Race Difference in Sexual Behavior: Testing an Evolutionary Hypothesis’ (Rushton & Bogaert) 19

Race, Evolution and Behavior
(Rushton) 21

Rasputin, Grigori 89, 107–8

The Real Life of Anthony Burgess
(Biswell) 101

Recueil periodique d’observations de médecine et de chirurgie
(1753) 168

Redwald, King 78–9

Reed, Oliver 25, 88

Reformation 81, 84, 112, 118

Regency England 96–7

The Reign of the Phallus
(Keuls) 24, 111

Religio Medici
(Browne) 64

Remembrance of Things Past
(Proust) 211

Renaissance 50, 63, 69, 73, 81, 92–4, 154, 165

Renoir, Pierre Auguste 104

Republic
(Plato) 202

Restoration 84, 163, 203

Rhyming Life and Dean
(Oz) 212

The Rise and Fall of the British Nanny
(Gathorne-Hardy) 174

The Rites of Man: Love, Sex and Death in the Making of the Male
(Miles) 25

Robbins, Harold 136

Roberts, Bonnie 9

Roberts, Gregory David 212

Rochester, Earl of 85, 152, 153

Rockefeller, Nelson 161

Roman period 11, 12, 24, 66–7, 69, 70, 79, 117, 123, 124, 139, 140, 155, 165, 166, 184, 188, 190

Romeo and Juliet
(Shakespeare) 52

Ronaldinho 207

Roth, Philip 23, 175

Rousseau, Jean-Jacques 182

Royal Commission on Monuments 79

Royal Society 82

Rubirosa, Porfirio 39

Rudgley, Richard 86

Runcie, Lord, Archbishop of Canterbury 179

Rushton, John Philippe 19, 21

Russia, Russians 207

Russian museum of erotica (St Petersburg) 108

Russian Orthodox Church 124

Rwanda 213

sadhus 124

Sadler, John 75

Sagan, Dorion 47

San people 210

San Quentin prison 168

Sandys, Duncan 8

‘A Satire on Charles II’ (Wilmot) 38–9

Saturnalia 79–80

Saudi Arabia 192

Scathloe, Alice 148–9

Scathloe, John 148–9

scrotum 199

The Second Sex
(de Beauvoir) 3, 53, 130–1

Second World War 167

Secret Instructions Concerning the Jade Chamber
142

Seek My Face
(Updike) 211

semen and sperm

and conception 72, 74–5, 164, 213–14

decrease in 200–1

as defective 201–2

and donor insemination 214

as fertiliser 70

healthy 200

influence on female health and psychology 203–4

lifespan 200

limited supply of 139, 141

magical properties of 71

and masturbation (or spermatorrhoea) 140, 141–5

nocturnal emission 139–40

as precious substance 70

production of 48, 72–4, 199

and return of the buffalo 71

and sperm banks 202–3

Semitic peoples 66, 68

Sens (northern France) 80

Sévigné, Madame de 134

Sex in America survey (1994) 136

Sex in History
(Taylor) 141

Sex for One
(Dodson) 51, 138

Sex Symbolism in Religion
(Hannay) 83

Sexual Behavior in the Human
Male (Kinsey) 15, 55

sexual drive 208–9

sexual encounters

benefits of intercourse 197–8

and birth of twins or triplets 164

brain activity and erotic thoughts 176–9, 181

clitoris vs penis 137–8

and coitus interruptus 141, 194

and cravings for sex 179–80

curious 181

and death in the saddle 161, 168

and ejaculatory intercourse 142–3

fictional depictions 211–13

forbidding of 141

and foreplay 135

as fun 217

intercourse terminology 189–91, 210–11

and male angst concerning performance 138–9

male finishing times 135–6

and the male roving eye 177–8

missionary position versus woman on top 187–9

numbers of 205–7, 214–15

and orgasm 136, 137

and paternity issues 164

penances for transgressions 141

post-coital effects 195–7

and use of vibrators 138

and women moving during intercourse 165

Sexual Life Between Blacks and Whites
(Day) 17

Sexual Life in England
(Bloch) 96–7

Shakespeare, William 11, 12, 25, 52, 60, 80, 134, 182, 187, 191

The Shameful Life of Salvador Dalí
(Gibson) 31

Shantaram
(G.D. Roberts) 212

The Shape of Her
(Somerville) 211

Shinto Kanamara Matsuri (Festival of the Steel Penis) 164

Shiva 66, 76

Simenon, Georges 205

Sinatra, Frank 39

Sinclair, Sir Clive 207

Singapore, Singaporeans 127, 207

Sistine Chapel (Vatican) 50, 124

Skinner, Frank 42

Skoptzis sect 124

Slater, Lorraine 55

Slaves of New York
(Janowitz) 51

Soames, Lord 43

Solomon, King 68

Somerville, Rowan 211

Sophocles 2

South Africa 162

South America 91

South Asia 163

South East Asia 20, 29, 108, 127–8, 130

South Korea 210

South Sea Islanders 209

The Spell
(Hollinghurst) 26

spermatorrhoea
see
masturbation Sprenger, Jacob 126–7

State University of New York 204

Stern, Howard 31

Sterne, Laurence 73

Sting 192

Stockholm University 107

Stopes, Marie 203

Strait, Jennifer 102

Styler, Trudie 192

The Sucker’s Kiss
(Parker) 213

Sudan 121, 127

Sumerians 12, 72

The Summer of a Dormouse
(Mortimer) 179

Sun
newspaper 43

Sutor, Jacob 17–18

Sweden, Swedes 106–7, 207

Talese, Gay 111–12, 179

Taming of the Shrew
(Shakespeare) 25

Taoism 140

Taylor, G. Rattray 141

Taylor, Timothy 45–6

Tel Aviv University 201

The Ten O’Clock Horses
(Graham) 106

Ten Storey Love Song
(Milward) 213

Tenggu 10

Tertullian 140

testicles

and ejaculation 48

feel of 200

and manufacture of sperm 48, 199

measurement of 47–9

racial variation 48

removal of 118, 120–5

transplants 168

unequal in size 50–1

and (un)faithfulness 49

vulnerability of 113

Tewasheh (Sudan) 121

Thailand 28–9, 106, 118–19

Theroux, Paul 217

Theseus 83

The Thief’s Journal
(Genet) 173

Thomson, David 177

Thy Neighbour’s Wife
(Talese) 111–12

Tibet, Tibetans 13

Tillot, Jean-Baptiste du 80

Timebends
(A.Miller) 183

The Times
114

Tiresias 137

To Love, Honour and Betray
(Lette) 213

Too Rich: The Family Secrets of Doris Duke
(J.Thomas & P.Duke) 39

Toulouse-Lautrec, Henri 40

Tristram Shandy
(L.Sterne) 113

Trobrianders 188, 213

Tropic of Cancer
(Miller) 56, 171

Trousers and the Most Precious Ornament
(Gill) 101

True at First Light
(Hemingway) 152–3

Tucker, Forrest 39

Turkey, Turks 116, 121, 190

twins and triplets 164

Uganda 124

Ulysses
(Joyce) 52, 56

Under the Volcano
(Lowry) 33

University of California 23, 42

University College London 92

University of Western Ontario 21

Unspeakable Confessions
(Dalí) 31

Untrael, Donna 5

Updike, John 9, 20, 56, 59, 185, 211

US National Center for Health Statistics 206

vagina 128–31, 210

Valentino, Rudolf 39, 40

Vanity Fair
magazine 91

Vatican 81

Vatsyayana 13–14

Velvet Goldmine
(film) 91

venereal disease

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