Authors: David Mamet
B:
Uh-huh.
A:
A fellow comes by some hour you're spose to be open and you're
closed,
next time he thinks heavily fore he drives out of his way. “Maybe he's closed . . . ”
B:
That's very true.
A:
. . . it makes no difference it only happened one time. It's like adultery. I'm not foolin you. He thinks, “It happened once, it could happen again.”
B:
Uh-huh.
A:
Fellow comes in here something he needs on a job, he needs it this afternoon, I'm
out
of it, what does he think?
"Shit,
I could of drove the same distance to
Star
and had it, and probably
cheaper . . . ”
Something else: If I can get with the
American
I'm going to beat Marketway, I'm going to beat
Star.
I'm going to have them coming
here
from Worth . . .
B:
You think?
A:
There's no two ways about it. I'll have the variety, I'll have
quality
. . . . They marshal their
franchises very
careful. Forty-two miles to Brandenburgs, the closest they could have another is here. I've got no competition. I'll have them coming in from Worth, from
Peacham . . .
B:
And it's just the down payment . . .
A:
What it is, yes, it's a down payment, it's an
investment,
you're actually buying stock. Whatever it is, I looked it up a week ago, a couple of weeks ago, seventeen dollars a share. What is that? Two into thirty-five, two shares for thirty-five, two hundred shares, thirty-five hundred dollars. Which you earn the dividend on, too, whatever that is . . .
B:
On the stock.
A:
Yes.
B:
You should go with them.
A:
I
would.
I
would
and I think I will. I think June and I have almost decided to
go
with them. It's a big step, but I think it's worth it. That's what I think. Many things. You have to look down the road. It's a big step now, it's a big
investment,
it's a
commitment,
in certain ways it would mean taking on more
stock
. . . .
B:
Why is that?
A:
Well, you have a basic
order.
Whatever your
size
is: the classification that they give you . . . on your
footage
. . . on your
overhead . . .
then when you order you have a minimum order that you have to file. (
Pause.
) You also have a minimum order per
month
. . . they come in and they do the inventory . . .
B:
They
do.
A:
Yep. They do. At the end of the year . . . I think that that's a good idea. They come in, a team, ten people, something, calculators, they're out in an afternoon, they come in Sunday afternoon . . . whenever you're closed, they work through the night, they're out Monday morning.
That's
a good idea . . . .You ever do an inventory?
B:
No.
A:
Hell on Earth. I worked in a shoe store once. I thought I was going to go mad . . . . But it's a big step. (
Pause.
)
B:
Mm.
A:
(
Pause
.) It's a big step. (
Pause
.)
B:
Well
—
A:
Yeaaah! Five of the Number three. Twelve-inch. I'm almost sure I'll have them Friday.
B:
I'll be back.
A:
I'm going to call him again today. I would say ninety percent. Ninety-five percent. I'll have them Friday. I'll tell you: If he
doesn't
come in, I'll pick them up, you stop in Saturday morning . . .
B:
That's
okay . . .
A:
No. I should
have
‘em. No trouble at all. You come in Friday, he hasn't stopped in, I'll have ‘em Saturday first thing.
B:
That's alright.
A:
No trouble at all. I'm sorry I don't
have
‘em. I
should.
It doesn't help
you
to tell you that the
man
didn't come in.
B:
Well,
thank
you.
A:
That's alright. You take care, now.
B:
You, too.
A:
It's nice talking to you.
DOWSING
Two older men, in a Vermont country store.
A:
Yessuh.
Fella told me he said, “I don't want no more of them
dowsers
in here.” By garry, I said, he's got a thing or two to learn.
B:
I
guess
. . .
A:
I said to you, Jim,
you're
a Mason, I said you did some-thing I don't like, “I don't want no more
Masons
in here . . . ”
B:
No. Mason's supposed t'believe in brotherhood.
A:
Yes. But if I told
you
something you did, I'se going to, you know, take it
out on . . .
B:
Yuh.
A:
. . . on other
Masons . . .
B:
Well, I'd say that's
foolish.
A:
. . . What
I'd
say.
B:
You say he didn't want the
dowsers
?
A:
Dowsers
were down to his place . . .
B:
. . . uh-huh . . .
A:
Some woman called, she wanted to know was her
friend
there, he says, “She's your friend, you should
know
if she's here.” She called the chamber of
commerce,
he gets the
complaint,
the fella calls him up he says, “By garry,
keep
’em!” says he'll do without ‘em. Big mistake. One week of the year that they're here, he's
booked,
you know, they come to spend their
money . . .
B:
Uh-huh . . .
A:
They
don't care it cost twenty-five dollars, thirty-five, they don't care, they're, you know . . .
B:
Um hmm . . .
A:
Well, they're on
vacation. Any
business you meet some you'd rather not
deal
with. I think he's
a fool.
B:
Now: (
Pause.
) When you say “dowsin'” —is that the same dowsin’ that we use to do with a bent stick?
A:
It is.
B:
For
water
.
A:
Well, they dowse for
water
, dowse for
oil . . .
B:
For
oil . . .
?
A:
For oil in the ground. Yessuh.
B:
. . . that a fact . . .
A:
It is. For . . . well, you know, they might, say, you know, if they wanted to lay out a
field,
what to put where . . .
B:
. . . yuh . . .
A:
. . . in what corner of the
field . . .
B:
Uh-huh . . .
A:
They'd dowse for that.
B:
And how'd they find it?
A:
Little
string,
a
weight
on it, they dowse it, yes or no. (
Pause.
) Eh? They ask the
question,
string moves
one
way, then it's “yes.” The other way is “no.”
B:
The way it
rotates.
A:
Yessir
.
B:
You know, I could never . . . fellas take that
stick . . .
you know, I took it, never did a thing, just laid there in my hand. Other man took it, twisted every
which
way . . .
A:
I know.
B:
Never did a
thing
for me.
A:
Me, either. (
Pause
.)
B:
And that is their
convention.
Is that the thing?
A:
Yup. Up
Morristown. You
know that.
B:
Yup.
A:
Yuh.
B:
Up to Morristown
.
A:
Yuh.
(
Pause
.)
B:
I heard it's going to frost tonight.
A:
They had a fellow, Connie
Barr . . .
B:
Yuh.
A:
You remember Connie?
B:
Yes, I do.
A:
His sister lost her watch, he found it with a dowsing stick.
B:
Who was his sister?
A:
Eunice Craft.
B:
The
Craft
girls . . . ?
A:
No. She married Billy Craft.
B:
She
married
Billy.
A:
Yessir.
B:
D'I know her?
A:
I think you did.
B:
Mm.
A:
Lost her watch, he found it.
B:
With a dowsing stick?
A:
Uh-huh.
B:
Where was it?
A:
In the field.
B:
In plain sight?
A:
I don't
think
so. Cause she'd lost it for a month.
B:
She had?
A:
Yeh.
B:
And he found it?
A:
Yes. He did.
B:
Most like he
put
it there.
A:
Well, that's what we thought at the
time,
but he held out he found it dowsing.
B:
How about that now.
A:
And I think that he
did.
B:
Well, you know, the things that you
see,
it makes you think that maybe there's something to
everything.
A:
Now, by God, that's the truth.
B:
Mm?
A:
Yessir
.
B:
Ayuh.
DEER DOGS
Two men
,
Larry
and Bunchy,
at a country store. There are also a couple of onlookers.
Larry:
Dog's runnin deer it should be shot.
Bunchy:
But who's to tell it's runnin deer?
Law
says you see a dog in pursuit of a deer you can
shoot
him. Who's to say it's . . . wait, wait, you take
Dave
here: Keeps his dog tied up. One day th’ dog, say Larry
Thompson s
dog, is runnin by—
Dave's
dog gets loose . . . Larry's dog runnin deer. Someone sees it and, down the road later on, Larry's dog
and
Dave's dog. What does he do? Shoot'em both.
Larry:
How did Dave's dog get loose?
Bunchy:
. . . I'm saying a dog which is
usually
tied down,
Dave's
dog . . .
Larry:
How did it get loose?
Bunchy:
I'm saying one day when it
is
loose . . . I don't
know
how it got loose . . .
Larry:
And was it runnin deer . . . ?
Bunchy:
No.
Larry:
How do you know?
Bunchy:
Cause it hasn't got a
taste
for them. It's a tame dog.
Larry:
How do you know?
Bunchy:
Well, now, now, now, because it
is
a tame dog: I, you
know
that dog . . .
Larry:
. . . I'm . . .
Bunchy:
. . .
I
know what you're . . .
Larry:
I'm . . .
Bunchy:
I know what you're, wait a second—I know what you're saying . . . that the dog is,
though
the dog is tame, it gets loose it starts runnin deer. Is that it?
Larry:
Yes.
Bunchy:
But what I'm saying, this case we
know
that the dog is tame. It's
tame.
It
isn't
runnin deer. Alright? It's DAVE'S DOG. It's
tame.
It's been tied up constantly . . .
Larry:
How does it . . .
Bunchy:
. . . that's not . . .
Larry:
. . . how does it get loose?
Bunchy:
Well, say that Dave forgot to tie it up.
Larry:
And where does it go?
Bunchy:
. . .
I . . .
Larry:
Where does it go?
Bunchy:
I know what you're saying. It goes to the woods. Alright.
Larry:
What is it doing there?
Bunchy:
It's
out.
With Larry Thompson's dog.
Larry:
What are they doing?
Bunchy:
Larry's
dog is runnin deer.