Grayson (9 page)

“You were saying?” His voice was raspy, barely reaching my ears. There might have even been a hint of humor. I wasn’t sure.

Huh? What?
I could hardly think at the moment. Forming words was not on my brain’s list of priorities. Instinctively, I flexed my hips, bumping against the solid evidence of his arousal.
God! He felt good!
I circled my hips slowly and a low groan floated between us. I wasn’t sure if it had come from him, or myself, or both of us.

Grayson sighed and abruptly dropped his arms. Retrieving my duster for the second time, he handed it to me. I took it, trying to muster some semblance of control over my raging desire. My body was screaming for him to pull me back in his arms, for him to kiss me. My nipples beaded painfully. He turned, giving me his back, and I knew he was trying to conceal the massive erection that had been pressed against me.

“
Grayson…
”

I bit into my bottom lip. I wanted to desperately acknowledge what was happening between us.

“Be careful, Angie. I don’t want you to get hurt,” he tossed over his shoulder before he stalked off, heading upstairs.

I stood there, staring after him, wondering about his words. I didn’t think he’d been referring to the ladder.

The following week was extremely busy for me. I worked two twelve hour shifts at the hospital, trying to squeeze in studying whenever I could. Biochemistry was a demanding class that required an impossible amount of reading. Even if I forfeited all sleep and read straight through every night, I still wouldn’t be able to get through the requisite chapters for my exam.

I thought about Grayson constantly. My dreams were vivid with him. Even when he wasn’t at the forefront of my thoughts, he lingered in the background. My mind always found ways to reroute my thoughts to him.

Many times, I found myself sweetly daydreaming about his smiling blue eyes, about how the corners crinkled when he joked, or how that one brow shot up when he mocked me. I still didn’t understand his book-fort or why he felt he needed it, but it wasn’t easy getting inside Grayson’s head. He was still very guarded with his responses. I often had to steal answers from his facial expressions.

I thought I saw him on campus once. It was a late afternoon and I was coming out of the science building. My heart had leapt with joy at the sight of the familiar image across the street. I thought I recognized the height, build, and wavy dark hair, but when I looked again, he’d vanished. Since the night with Mark, I knew he followed me, but I was never sure of when or how often. There were moments I could almost feel his presence, but whenever I turned and searched for him, he was never to be found.

On Wednesday, I went back to the house, taking along my backpack stuffed with heavy books. I enlisted Grayson’s help with sorting through some of the old furniture that was in a haphazard pile. In order to get to a few of the pieces, I had to deconstruct several piles of his book fort. It was just a few piles toward the back of the room. When I asked him if it was okay, he just nodded. I asked if he was sure and he nodded again, but he didn’t help me. He found something else to occupy his time, sending me worried glances every now and then.

We were both moving a love seat with beautifully carved wood to the far side of the room when my cellphone buzzed. Setting down the couch, I pulled the device from my pocket. I read the text from my physics teacher and whooped joyously. Grayson stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. A streak of excitement zipped through me and without thinking, I flung my arms around his chest, hugging him tightly. His body instantly stiffened at the contact, but I was so elated that I held on and looked up into his face, smiling broadly.

“I got a sixty-five on my midterm!” I beamed.

He frowned deeply. “Last I heard, that’s not exactly a good grade. So much for your paperclips.”

I grinned. “It was the highest grade in the class! She’s curving the grades because it was such a hard test. So, I got an A!”

I was practically bursting out of my skin. Impulsively, I tiptoed and smacked my lips against his. The impact sizzled my flesh. I’d intended to pull back, but the feel of him against me was wonderfully intoxicating. I moved in closer and intensified the press of my lips, rubbing in lazy circles over his unresponsive mouth.

His breath sawed hard through his nostrils and stroked against my cheek, but he didn’t pull away. That inspired me, and I dragged the tip of my tongue along his mouth, wetting the seam of his lips. A groan purred from his throat and I opened my eyes to see that his were squeezed tightly shut. I could tell that he was struggling with a conflict, an internal battle of will. Determined to see his battle lost, I rocked my abdomen against an erection that was already impressive and still rapidly growing.

Another groan vibrated from his throat, deep and rough. His hand shot up and he sank his fingers into my ponytail, gripping it tight. He yanked my head back, abruptly breaking the kiss. Staring down at me, he pleated his forehead and his gaze zigged-zagged over my face. Heat burned my cheeks, and I knew desire must’ve been soaked in my eyes.

I wanted him. Badly. My skin was tingling with an excruciating desire for his touch and my pussy was slick with my need for him. I couldn’t explain this intense attraction I had for this man. Without warning, his parted lips swooped down on mine and he slid his tongue deep into my mouth. The contact was explosive. I garbled a few exclamations and moaned deeply, gliding my tongue against his. He tasted like raw sunshine. Hot. Sweet. Delicious. He ate hungrily at my lips, a ravenous claiming that had me panting harshly.

My fingers clawed through the silky waves of his hair, drawing his head even closer. I couldn’t get enough of him. I loved his taste. I loved his smell. I loved the feel of him against me. His other arm wrapped firmly around my waist, pulling me up on tiptoes. I arched into him, enjoying the insistent press of his hard cock.

My hand skimmed down his body and I gripped the heavy mass, rubbing and squeezing the swollen length through his jeans. I reached even lower and cupped his tight testicles, massaging them slowly before I returned my attention to his bulging shaft. Our groans mingled when his cock kicked and throbbed eagerly against my palm. I squeezed harder and swallowed the grunt from his throat. My body was on fire and flames licked torturously at my burning, wet pussy. God, I wanted him to fuck me. I craved an intimate connection with him.

Suddenly, he gripped my shoulders and thrust me away, holding me at arm’s length. His breath flung out in ragged exhalations, matching my own. I cried out like a whiny kid who’d had her treat taken away. The loss of contact was instant and distressing. It was painful physically and emotionally.

Grayson’s handsome face was gnarled with fury. “What are you trying to do to me? Did Charles put you up to this?”

“
What?
” I blinked, confused. My body still pulsed in one long, hot throb.

“Why. Are. You. Doing. This?” Each word was punctuated with a shake that rattled my teeth. His anger was gaining momentum.

I clawed out of my lust-filled haze and frowned. “No! No one put me up to this! I—I’m attracted to you.”

“Liar!” he bellowed.

I shook my head, tearing out of his tight grip. I was angry that he doubted the veracity of my feelings. “I am! Can’t you fucking tell? I’ve been practically throwing myself at you!”

His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed.

“What did Charles tell you?”

I looked away from his probing gaze, attempting to calm down. I hesitated, trying to decide what I should tell him. In the end I went with the truth. “That you’re not well. That you’re schizophrenic.”

His posture stiffened and what looked like pain darkened his eyes. “He’s right. I’ve been struggling with this since my mid-twenties.”

I felt his burden fill my soul to the edges, and my heart ached for him. Somewhere deep down I’d hoped Charles had lied to me, that he’d been playing games again. I took a step toward Grayson and he recoiled, jerking back as though my touch was destructive fire.

Although he’d confirmed his diagnosis, I was still reluctant to believe it. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to understand what life was like for him. Why did he choose to live here, isolated from the world in this broken-down house while his son luxuriated in a sumptuous penthouse? Why did this beautiful, intelligent man feel he needed to protect himself with a fort? How had he managed a multi-million dollar company with his illness? And, did he feel
anything
for me?

“You shouldn’t be here,” he sneered.

Tears stung my eyes at his bald-faced rejection. “Don’t push me away, please. Grayson, I really do care for you.”

“You don’t fucking know me! You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know my fears—my thoughts, the things in my head!”

A thin breath shuddered from my lungs, whispering through my parted lips. My tears began to roll down my cheeks because I felt hopeless. He was right. I didn’t know those things, and I was afraid he’d never let me in. He’d never trust me. I could see him putting up a wall, another fort, keeping me out. “Then tell me. Talk to me. Help me to understand.”

His face was like granite, the planes as sharp as cut stone and just as cold. “Get. Out. Of. This. House.”

I winced, every one of his words stung like a lash. I shook my head. I knew I must seem pathetic, but I didn’t care. God, I’d never cried over a guy before, never felt like this before.

“No,” I said in one last defiant attempt to take a stand.

Rage rushed through his features, and in a move that shocked my heart to stillness, he grabbed the table he’d constructed, and flung it across the room. It crashed into the portrait of him, the wood shattering the frame and slashing the canvas. The noise reverberated through my body like an echoing gong.

“
GO!
” he roared.

Grabbing my backpack, I ran from the house. I ran all the way home with my heart melting in my chest.

Friday night there was revelry on campus. Most of the students were leaving for vacation or going home for spring break week. Those left behind were determined to have a ‘staycation’ and to start it off with a bang. There were parties everywhere. Kim and Diane were throwing a huge rave down the hall. By the time I got home from work, Anna was chomping at the bit to head out. She was thrilled to be going to a college party. I was exhausted. I’d finished my last midterm the day before, and was still feeling the aftershocks. I’d just changed out of my nurse’s uniform when Anna burst through the door to my room.

“Aren’t you ready yet?”

I turned from the mirror and looked at her. Her eyes were shiny with excitement and she’d curled her long brown hair so it hung in loose waves around her shoulders. She had a beautiful heart shape face and big curious brown eyes—too curious, I mused. Anna and I had the same build, thin with long legs and overgrown breasts. But where I did my best to minimize my assets, Anna flaunted hers shamelessly. When I turned, my gaze went straight to her bulging breasts and her barely-there, low cut blouse. I gave her a look our mother would give her.

“You are
not
going out with me looking like that.” The worst part was I knew she’d enhanced her bosom with a Victoria Secrets’ miracle bra. It would seem that Victoria wasn't too good at keeping my sister’s secrets, and the miracle would be preventing her double Ds from falling out.

“What? They’re tits. What’s the big deal? If you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em!”

I thought about what had happened with Mark and my throat constricted. “No way, sis. You’re sending out the wrong message in that top. You’re going to a party where there’ll be drunk, horny guys. It can be dangerous.”

I saw her in the mirror mocking me, making faces at what I’d said. I took a deep breath, trying not to let her get to me. “Wear a different top or put on a sweater.” My tone brooked no discussion on the matter.

“Geez, you’re such a downer. You’ve been a total bitch this week!”  She flounced out of the room, the girls leading the way.

I sighed, staring after her. She was right. I’d been cranky and on edge. I was suffering a malady of the spirit since Grayson’s rejection. My heart had been heavy since I left the townhouse on Tuesday. What was worse was that I could still taste his sweetness on my lips and feel the press of his body against mine. The silky texture of his hair was imprinted on my fingers. I longed for him with a yearning that frightened me.

Anna came back into the room wearing a sweater buttoned up to her neck. I smiled sweetly and she stuck out her tongue petulantly.

“I could wear a sheet over my head, too, if it will make you feel better.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” I smiled at her through the mirror and watched her dramatic eye roll.

“You’re worse than Mom sometimes.”

I ignored her. Done with my makeup, I grabbed my purse and we headed down the hall to the party.

Kim and Diane’s apartment was crowded with people. I had trouble seeing past the thick horde of bodies, and Anna and I had to elbow our way inside. Anna met a couple of undergrad girls who were quick to regale her with stories about the joys of college. I stood off to the side listening, wondering when they were going to get to the part about actually studying, going to classes, taking exams, and working your ass off.