“Zack is a good guy.”
“Maybe, but he doesn’t love you, at least not the way I do.”
“It’s too late for us, Luke,” I said. “What we had was wonderful while it lasted, but it’s over. It’s…just a page in our history. I came here to have dinner with you so we could end things on a better note, so we could walk away as friends and move on with our lives. As for you being alone, you won’t be if you’ll just open your eyes and heart. Gosh, look at you! You’re a bazillionaire, super successful, and, uh…still hot as a damn fire iron. Beyond that, you’re a brilliant, wonderful, caring person. You won’t have any trouble getting a girlfriend if you’ll just be open to the idea. I’m sure your Miss Right is out there. I just don’t happen to be her, and if you don’t let go of me, you’ll never find the right one.”
He sighed, and his bright blue eyes dimmed slightly, as if they might actually flood with tears. “Ya know, my uncle always tells me how short life is and that I should follow my dreams without ever looking back, but for once, he’s completely wrong. In the big picture of life, marriage and family count for a whole helluva lot more than anything else. I don’t care about the fancy suits and the freaking limousine. I’d give it all up for you. Life isn’t life without you in it.”
“You made your decision at the time, Luke, and now we both have to move on with our lives.”
“I can tell you’re still hurt,” he said, reaching for my hand, which I promptly pulled away; I knew that if he touched me, the old sparks would fly, and I couldn’t allow that to make me do something stupid.
“Damn straight! What upsets me the most about it all is that I feel like an idiot.”
“For what?”
“For believing you seriously loved me.”
“But I did! I mean…I do. Uh, I mean…”
“No, Luke. When you are seriously in love with someone, you make that person part of your future. You didn’t do that. You tossed
our
dream aside to pursue your own, one that didn’t include me. It hurt, and it made me feel like a naïve, stupid little girl forever believing we could be together for the long haul.”
“I couldn’t take you to Hong Kong, and you didn’t want to come with me to Connecticut, because you were focused on your own career. You chased
your
dreams too, JJ.”
“You never even asked,” I said.
“I didn’t have to. I knew you would never have willingly given up your dream job to be a housewife in Connecticut. Besides, how could I have even asked you to? It wouldn’t have been fair for me to expect—”
Growing ever frustrated, I rolled my eyes and cut him off. “If you’d had the balls to ask, we might still be together.”
“Don’t do that, Julia. Don’t guilt-trip me. I think of that day all the time, and I have never stopped wishing I’d have done things differently.”
“You never even gave our long-distance relationship a chance,” I said. “I tried, but you didn’t. You gave up on us.”
“You know that’s not true. I was working 100 hours a week, with barely any sleep.”
“C’mon, Luke. It only takes a minute to leave a text message.”
He sighed again and looked down at the tablecloth. “Yeah, I know. I was too focused on my career, too worried about moving ahead and getting things rolling. I was a complete idiot.”
“You aren’t an idiot. You never have been. You’ve done some amazing things. I read in
Forbes
that you bought your parents a beautiful home on the lake. It’s okay that we didn’t work out. You are in a position now to do some great things, like that lecture you gave the other day. You can help people, give something back.”
He smiled sheepishly and gripped my hands. “You may not believe me, but I get my inspiration from you.”
“Yeah, well, I always was your biggest cheerleader.”
We finished our dinner, and Luke drove me home, then walked me to the door like a true gentleman.
“Now for the cliché question,” he said with a nervous half-smile.
“And what’s that?”
“As they say in every romantic comedy ever, can we be friends?” he asked.
“Actually, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I said, biting my lip and unable to make eye contact with him. As much as he’d hurt me, I couldn’t bear to hurt him or to dim those baby-blues of his with sadness again.
He picked my face up by placing his hand gently under my chin, then stared deeply into my eyes. My heart skipped a beat as I recalled gazing into those blue pools endlessly back in high school. He looked sad, like a little lost puppy. It was obvious that he didn’t want to let go of me, and in that moment, lost in his eyes all over again, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to let go of him. We had a connection neither of us could deny, and it felt impossible to cut the passionate ties that bound us.
“I can’t believe this. I-I’ve lost you forever,” he said softly.
“Zack’s here,” I said, glad to see his car out front, as it made for a convenient excuse. “I’d better go.”
“Well, I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your husband. And just know that if you ever need anything, anything at all, I’m always here for you,” he said.
I kissed his cheek and found it hard to stop there. “Thank you, Luke.”
“You’re welcome.”
I turned and unlocked my door without ever looking back. My heart was torn in two as I heard his footsteps walking away, and I considered giving it just one more try, but I knew that would not be wise. I feared it would only end horribly, and I knew I could never endure that kind of heartbreak again.
* * *
When I walked into my apartment, Kate and Zack greeted me.
“So? How’d your date go?” Kate asked.
“It
wasn’t
a date.”
She winked. “Oh yeah. Sorry.”
“Seriously, Kate. We just had dinner at The Water Club.”
“What!? Girl, that boy took you to one of the most romantic spots in New York City!” Zack said. “I thought you were just going casual?”
“We did. We only talked.”
“That was all?” he asked.
“Yes, that was all.”
“Damn, girl. If he was this Cinderella’s Prince Charming, I woulda had my lips all over that boy.”
“Zack!”
“What?”
“My fiancé isn’t supposed to encourage me to kiss other men.”
“Why? I’m not giving you any advice I wouldn’t follow myself. I mean, it woulda just been a hit-it-and-quit-it, ‘cause the last thing you need is to end up with that Romeo, but still. The way I see it, ain’t nothin’ wrong with samplin’ the frosting, as long as you don’t eat the whole damn cake.”
“Frosting?” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I don’t even wanna know what that means.”
“Just an analogy, girl,” Zack said, grinning from ear to ear.
“Speaking of Prince Charmings,” Kate said to him, “yours keeps calling.”
“I’d better go get me some cake then!” Zack said. “I just wanted to see how your date went.”
I smiled. “
Not
a date.”
“Right.” He chuckled. “Anyway, I’m glad you had a chance to say your goodbyes. But damn, girl, he’s hot. You’re stronger than I am, ‘cause I’da jumped on that.”
“Saved by the bell,” I said when the phone rang. “I’d better get that.”
He laughed and kissed my cheek. “Bye, girl.”
“Bye.”
“Hello?” I said when I picked up the phone.
“Hi, honey. How was your date with Luke?” my dad asked.
“Dad! Why does everyone think it was a date? Luke and I just… We just had some loose ends to tie up, and we parted on a good note.”
“He’s a good guy, honey.”
“I know how much you love him, and for that reason, I’m sorry things didn’t work out for us to be together. I wanted them to, but he left me, remember?”
“But you guys loved each other so deeply. You’re both single now, a little older and wiser maybe. Why not give it one more try?”
“Not this time. Also, please don’t tell him about Zack. Luke doesn’t know I’m really single, and I’d like to keep it that way. It will be easier for him to move on that way.”
“I won’t say a word, sweetheart. It’s not my place, and I’m not getting in the middle.”
“Good. I’m hoping he’ll let go.”
“I can set you up with Ron if you’d like,” my dad said.
“I have his number.”
“Well, give him a call. This fake groom of yours isn’t going to wine and dine you, honey. You’re not…his type, right?”
“Dad! Zack’s one of my best friends.”
“I know. I’m just saying that I’m so tired of seeing my little girl alone. All work and no play makes Julia a dull girl. You need to have some fun and go on a real date.”
“Hmm. Maybe you’ve got a point. Maybe I’ll give him a call.”
“That’s all I’m asking, that you think about it. You deserve to make some new happy memories, honey. Remember that life isn’t really life if you don’t get out there and live it.”
“Well, coming from you, Dad, the almighty adventurer, I’ll take that as gospel!”
Chapter 6
“Tell me you’re not planning to wear
that
,” Kate said, appalled by my ensemble for my Friday night date with Ron.
“Why? What’s wrong with it?”
“Oh, nothing…if you want to look like a virgin librarian.”
“Huh?”
“You should wear something a little less, uh…church lady and something a little sexier,” she said. “I have a little black dress you can borrow.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I know the one. You’ve probably got matching eff-me heels too.”
“Of course! Every girl needs a pair or two of those.”
“Look, I’m not tryin’ to screw the guy on the first date. Besides, we’re only going to Red Lobster in Times Square. I want to keep it simple, and Ron said he’s been dying for lobster.”
“Mmm. Those Cheddar Bay biscuits are always a big favorite of mine.”
“Mine too. Trouble is, they tend to travel straight from my lips to my hips.”
She laughed. “Well, you’ve always got Ron to help you burn off a few calories and carbs after, right?”
I said nothing and offered her only an eye-roll, an entirely appropriate response.
“I know it’s not as fancy as where Mr. Blue Eyes took you, but it’ll still cost a fortune. That place is a freaking tourist trap. They put an automatic 18 percent gratuity on everything. Heck, I bet they even charge you for the Splenda packets you put in your iced tea. If you’re trying to keep it simple and casual, you’d be better off to go somewhere else.”
“Well, Ron’s driving and paying, so it’s really up to him.”
“Yeah. Speaking of him, what made you decide to go out with this guy anyway? I thought you were dead-set against it.”
“My dad says he’s a great nurse. I love a caring guy.”
“He sounds sweet.”
“Yeah, and he’s sexy too.”
“Really? Do tell.”
“He has pretty eyes and this gorgeous smile.”
“Well, I want a full report when you get back. You know me. I’m all about the kiss-and-tell.”
I grinned. “Sure thing.”
When my cell rang, I answered it. It was Ron, calling to tell me he’d changed our dinner plans. “Looks like we’ve gone from casual to fancy,” I said when I hung up.
Kate smiled, squealed, clapped her hands, and jumped up and down like a little some tween who’d just spotted Justin Bieber. “Ooh! Good! Now you can get out of that nasty old frock and wear something a little less…decent,” she said, winking at me. She walked into her room and came back out with the very little black dress in hand. “You sure you don’t wanna give this little number a shot?”
I shot her a huge smile and shrugged. “What the hell? Why not?”
Within minutes, she had me all dolled up in that tiny remnant of fabric, strappy and sinful heels, and a sparkly necklace that seriously put the spotlight right on the valley between my twin peaks. I wore my hair down in tiny ringlets, and she made sure my makeup was perfect.
When the taxi pulled up in front of our building, those familiar first-date butterflies began waltzing around in my stomach. I waved at Ron when he jumped out to hold the door open for me.
“Hello, Julia. You look stunning.”
I climbed in. “Thank you. You look very handsome yourself.”
“That’s only because you’re used to seeing me in scrubs or a white uniform.”
“Well, there’s nothing scrubby about you now,” I said, laughing and appreciating his sense of humor.
“Cabbie, take us onward!” he said. “Milady awaits her supper!”
* * *
We drove to the West Village and took a private entrance through an unmarked door on a small side street that led to Hudson Clearwater. There, a beautiful courtyard greeted us, with stairs that led into the main restaurant.
“Wow. This is quite the hidden gem,” I said. “What is this place?”
“American Nouveau, with Chef Wes Long at the helm.”