Healing Gabe (Last Hangman MC Book 3) (6 page)

“Don’t worry. I’m always here for you, Doll. I miss her too. We can’t bring her back but she lives with us forever.” I kiss her softly, hoping she won’t push me away. She hesitates at first, but kisses me back.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” She looks at me completely confused.

“To be honest, I don’t know what this is. I don’t do relationships that’s all I know. I just want to be able to hang out and be with you without any drama. We both need each other.”

“Oh really? So, you’re so sure that I need you, huh?” She raises her eyebrow at me and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Yes. Even though you know Ayden and Anthony, you knew I’d be here too.”

“True. I wanted to see you and see someone familiar. You’re the only family I have left, the only one who knows how truly fucked up my life is. Even though most of the guys I knew in the club are still around, you’re the closest thing to a family I have.”

“I need you for the same reasons. We have each other. Things might not be perfect but we’ll make the best of it. I haven’t felt as alive as I did last night for a long time.”

“I felt the same way,” she says softly, resting her forehead against my chest.

“Sorry if I ruined this morning.”

“It’s alright. You were right, you can’t control your dreams.” She shrugs. “It did hurt, I know how much you loved Annie and to be honest, I’m still wondering if you wanted what happened last night because it would remind you of Annie or because you actually wanted me.”

I rub my face,
this is why I don’t do relationships.
“Look at me.” I say a bit too roughly. She complies but looks hurt and vulnerable.
Fuck.
I don’t want to see that look, I especially don’t want to be the one putting it on her beautiful face. “Yes, I was with your sister, but last night? It was all you. I never thought once about Annie and it felt fucking amazing. Yes, you are her twin, but you two are so different, even more so now. You grew into such a beautiful woman, more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined. Annie always had a soft and serene look about her. You were always the strong and rebellious one and you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and that dimple in your left cheek always drove me nuts. Don’t compare yourself or what we have, to something that happened years ago.”

“T…thanks.” She blushes and hides in my chest.

“You’re welcome, Doll and I almost forgot how painfully embarrassed you get when someone gives you a compliment.” I chuckle.

“Piss off!” She punches my ribs and I groan. “Shit! I’m sorry.” She looks up at me biting her lip.

“It’s alright. Still a bit sensitive.” I rub at my chest.

“What happened?” She brushes her fingers over the gunshot wound.

“Little altercation with the Kings a few months ago.”

“Fuck.” She sighs.

“You can say that again.” I kiss her head and walk her to the kitchen.

I make us some toast, eggs and bacon before heading out the door. As much as I want to stay with her and never leave, I have club business to attend to. Whilst Ant’s away I have to make sure everything runs smoothly. I kiss her goodbye and get into my Thunderbird before driving away.

I don’t know how things will go. We might be making a huge fucking mistake, but it feels so fucking right, even if she’s thinking the wrong things. I will never be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to Viv. She’s my light.

CHAPTER 7

Viv

Talk about emotional whiplash!

One minute he doesn’t want a relationship and then he acts like we’re a couple.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the super sweet Gabe who acts likes he wants me but how am I supposed to cope when I know he just sees my dead twin? I don’t know what to do, I’ve loved him relentlessly for twelve years now. Maybe it’s because he’s the only good thing left from my past, or maybe I really just have been in love with him for so long because he’s the only man who ever made me feel safe. Despite the little time we’ve spent together, those few times made me feel fucking amazing. I’m beyond confused and wish my mom was still around, she would have known what to do. I’ve managed to put myself in a situation I always wanted to avoid and I have no idea how to get out of it, or if I even want to get out of it.

I think back to last night, at first it was awkward just to play strip poker with Gabe, especially considering I lost all my clothes during the first half hour, then to have him wanting to do body shots; that shit was crazy. I was more than intoxicated at that point, both from the alcohol and from Gabe. My heart stopped when he said he needed me. He could have said he just wanted sex but no, he
needed
me. He has no idea how important those three words were to me.

I still don’t know what to make of last night. He was funny, passionate, sweet, an extremely good kisser and even better lover, and he spent the night. I never let guys spend the night or stay at theirs and Gabe most certainly doesn’t strike me to be the type to cuddle or stay the night either. When he looked into my eyes during sex we both seemed to experience a life changing moment. It felt like everything I ever wanted in life was handed to me and my life was finally complete. Like the pieces of my shattered heart were starting to be stitched back together.

I’m probably getting ahead of myself and imagining that he’ll come to me because he wants me for me and not for what, or rather who, I remind him off. The feeling of things both turning really good and really bad at the same time keeps popping in the back of my mind. I need to stop over thinking or I’m going to drive myself even crazier.

I sigh to myself and start to clean up last night’s antics. I fill a bag with the empty bottles and tidy the rest of the mess. I can’t believe we drank so much, a part of me wishes it never happened and the other is still doing cartwheels because it did.

What a bloody conundrum.

******

February 16, 2015

Over the weekend I didn’t hear from Gabe which was incredibly disappointing and I’m not going to lie, it hurt. Looks like I really was just an easy fuck for him after all, one who just so happens to look exactly like the love of his life. I loved every second of it but now I feel used.

Ayden and Charline get together for lunch every Monday and they invited me along, apparently Gabe’s baby sister is going to be there too. I’ve never met her but from what Annie used to tell me, she’s a total sweetheart. I hope she won’t freak out when she sees me. I have no idea about how much Gabe told her about Annie and I.

I get ready and pull on faded black skinny jeans with ripped knees, a simple black tank top and a flannel shirt with my studded combat boots. I keep my make-up light, just putting on some mascara and filling in my eyebrows, before heading out the door.

We decided to meet at Bob’s Burger. I haven’t been there in ages and I miss it, they have the best burgers. I’ve travelled all over the world and no burger has ever compared.

I have to drive around the block a couple of times before eventually finding a parking spot. I make my way inside and smile when I spot them, Ayden almost takes me out when she jumps on me.

“Geez woman! It’s only been two days.” I chuckle and hug her back.

“What can I say? I missed you! It might have been only two days this time, but it was so much longer before that!” She pouts and rests her head on my shoulder.
I fucking love her!

“You’re too cute for your own good.” I grin, kiss her head and sit down.

“Hey, Viv.” Charline smiles, greeting me.

“Hey, Line. How are you? How was your weekend away?”

“It was good thanks, and I’m amazing. Aleck took me to a little cabin in the woods. It was beautiful, very romantic and so sweet of him. I didn’t know he could be this romantic.” She beams.

“Aww, that’s so cute.” I smile, happy for her. “What about you, Ayd? How did Big Ant do this year?” I giggle.

She turns bright red. “Well, uh…It was fucking perfect,” she whispers loudly. “He took me to my parents’ cabin in Grand Isle and we pretty much spent the entire weekend naked. I’m not going to give any more details so you can suck it.” She snickers, making Line and I burst out laughing.

“I bet you hated every single second of it!” I grin.

“Not one bit, it was perfect really.” She sighs happily. “What about you? What happened with Gabe?” They both grin at me expectantly.

“We had pizza, beer and watched a horror movie.” I shrug and focus on the menu.

“You two fucked each other’s brain out!” Ayd whispers loudly.

“No, I me-”

“Hey Chick.” A beautiful young lady cuts me off.

“Nicky!!!” Ayd jumps up and hugs the girl. I’m guessing she’s Gabe’s sister. I just hope that she didn’t hear the beginning of our conversation. “Remember Line?” Ayd brings me back to reality before I start thinking about that night.

“Yes, of course. How are you?” She smiles and hugs Line, but keeps an eye on me.

“I'm good, thanks.” She smiles and hugs her back.

“This is Vivian.” Ayd introduces us.

“Nice to meet you, Nicole,” I say rather nervous.

“Nice to meet you too, Vivian.” She’s still looking at me warily. “Are you new around town?”

“No, I just left for a very long time and now I'm back.”

“You seem familiar.”

I sigh. “Your brother used to date my sister.”

“Right.” She looks at me intently and then smiles. “Whatever you do with my brother is none of my business. Don’t hurt him, he’s been through enough shit because of your sister.” I can only nod.

“Woah, what happened that we don’t know about?” Ayd looks between Nicole and I.

“A lot of fucked up shit. I don’t know what your sister did to Gabe, but it left him broken, he hasn’t dated ever since and has been an even moodier, overprotective fucker than he used to be. I hope your sister doesn’t find out you screwed my brother because that could get messy. Does he even know you are his only love’s sister?” She looks at me accusingly.

I take in a sharp breath. I wasn’t expecting this kind of welcome. “My sister won’t find out because she’s dead and we were twins so yeah, he knows who I am.” I sigh.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I had no idea,” Nic says honestly.

“It’s alright.” I shrug.

“Well if you care, she's also your brother’s future wife. He just doesn't know it yet.” Line giggles, no doubt trying to lighten up the mood.

“Wait, what?” Nic and I look at Line as if she’s grown a second head.

“What? You two are cute together. Besides, the way he looks at you? Girl, he wants you and not just for one night, nope he wants to keep you. There’s something between the two of you, no one can deny that.” She smiles innocently.

“I have to agree with her. As pissed as he was when you showed up. When you left, he was all lost in his thoughts, I thought he was going to run after you. I don’t know what you guys have been through, but it seems pretty intense. Don’t push him away. He needs someone he can talk to who will listen to him,” Ayd chimes in, making me glare at her

“While I agree with Ayd, you do know my brother doesn't do relationships, Line.”

“Ah, neither did Aleck and look where that got us.” She rubs her tummy with a serene expression on her face.

“You’re pregnant as well?” Nic squeals.

“Yes, I am.” Line beams.

“Congrats!” They hug squealing.

“Thanks, Sweetheart.”

“Back to my brother, I know Aleck didn't want a relationship and had a valid reason, my brother is just a very stubborn loner.”

“Actually, your brother has a very good reason not to want a relationship.”

“How do you know?” All three of them look at me intently.

“As I said, he used to date my sister. We go way back.”

“I don't know you but I feel like there is something about you, something he needs. You seem to be the one who could soothe him and piece his heart back together. Whatever it is, if you hurt him, you’ll have to go through me. I don’t know what happened to him years ago, but I have a feeling you are a part of the reason he's been miserable for the past twelve years. I want my brother happy.”

“Trust me, we want the same thing. I'd never hurt Gabe, at least not on purpose.”

“Alright. I’ll give you a chance, I just hope he’s not the one breaking your heart. You seem pretty invested in this relationship already.”

“You have no idea how deep I am.” I sigh and we order our food and drinks when the waitress comes over.

I didn’t expect lunch to go this way. I mean, I like that Gabe’s little sister is protecting him and wants the best for him, but being told that I’m the one responsible for her brother being miserable for all those years is horrible.

Nicole slowly warmed up to me and any tension that was there left. I was glad that it went well, I didn’t want lunch to be awkward because of me. This is why, no matter where I go, I never make friends, whenever someone learns of my past I’m judged. Despite her warming up to me I can still feel her judgement, even more so now that she knows what happened between me and Gabe, and why we already knew each other.