So Josh felt protective and concerned. Fine. Gavin wasn’t going to tell Josh to fuck off. He also wasn’t going to punch him in the face. If the other man was testing him, he’d try to understand. If Josh was warning him, Gavin would probably be smart to heed it. But he would not back down, he would not tuck tail and run and he would not show Josh—or Allie—how Josh’s words about family stabbed Gavin in the gut.
Family was something Gavin wasn’t good at. That and being there for Allie when she needed him. But he was working on it. All of it. And it was none of Josh Brewster’s business anyway.
Fuck. He
really
wanted to punch Josh, though.
“I appreciate you looking out for her,” Gavin made himself say.
Not that he thought Josh had done a very damned good job of it, considering how sick and exhausted she was when Gavin got to her. He could just fucking keep on looking out for her the way he’d done after she left the wedding with Gavin—from afar.
“I’m not just looking out for her,” Josh said. “Family goes deeper than that. It’s forever, no matter what.”
“I’m good with forever, no matter what,” Gavin said, trying not to growl. “We’ll just have to put another chair at the family dinner table. Because where Allie is, I am.”
Josh didn’t look impressed. He moved his attention to Allie. “So you are okay?”
Gavin heard her sigh. “Yes, Josh, I’m fine.”
“Your dad doesn’t realize—”
“I know,” she broke in. “I’m fine.”
Gavin felt satisfaction course through him and barely kept from grinning smugly. He’d talked to her about her dad and she’d listened. She’d cut Josh off. Ha.
“If you need—”
“She’s good,” Gavin said.
“Everything okay in here?”
Jackson strolled into the room, looking casual, but Gavin knew he was there as Josh’s backup.
“We’re fine,” Gavin said tightly.
“Completely fine,” Allie agreed.
Josh even nodded. “Yeah.”
“You sure? You’ve been in here a while. The three of you are kinda full of surprises lately, so we were wondering.”
There was that “we” again. Gavin gritted his teeth.
“Just talking,” Allie said.
“Just making sure everyone is good,” Josh added.
“Brewster,” Gavin said with warning, “I think we’re straight on that, don’t you?”
Josh hesitated and Gavin came that much closer to hitting him.
Then Hayley Stone came through the doorway. “Everything okay in here?”
“For fuck’s sake,” Gavin muttered, starting toward the living room with Allie in tow.
It was anyone’s guess if Hayley had come in because of Jackson, because of Gavin or just because she was the only one who carried a gun, but Gavin was done reassuring anyone about anything. He was still trying to get used to having five conversations going on around him all at the same time and having so many people in one space at one time that he couldn’t keep track of which coffee cup was his.
Having everyone constantly making sure everyone else was “okay” and “fine” and “good” was really getting on his nerves.
He strode past Josh, Jackson and Hayley and headed straight for the couch, where he deposited Allie next to her father while he sat on her other side. There was no room for anyone else, and here he could just sit back, touch Allie and
not talk
for five frickin’ minutes.
Forty minutes later, his head was pounding. It was so loud and chaotic in the room, and, he could admit, he was tense. His neck and shoulders for sure—feeding his headache—but he felt the tension all the way to his gut.
Looking over at Lydia, expecting a similar reaction from the girl who made keeping to herself an art form, he was surprised to see her grinning and talking and laughing right along with them. She’d never be as animated as Charlie, but he seemed to bring something out in her that Gavin hadn’t seen until now.
He glanced at Allie. He knew the feeling.
Never would he have imagined sitting in her father’s living room with her entire family plus the Brewster embellishments,
plus
the embellishments of the embellishments. He suspected that Hayley and Jackson were here equally for Josh and for Gavin himself. Hayley knew him well. She had to have known this would be so far out of his comfort zone he’d need GPS to find his way back.
She gave him a wink and saluted him with her coffee cup.
He rolled his eyes at her.
Then he tuned in to Allie again. She was doing a good job just
being
. She hadn’t refilled any coffee cups, hadn’t cleared the dishes off the dining room table—Devon and Jackson had done that actually—and hadn’t unpacked her father’s suitcase that still sat in the corner. It might be driving her crazy, but she was putting true effort into just sitting and talking with her family.
He kept his hand on her knee though. He’d only needed to squeeze three times and say “let it go” twice.
He glanced over at Josh. He had his hand on the back of Devon’s neck and was laughing at something Danny was saying, but Gavin knew Josh was keeping his eye on him and Allie.
Or maybe he wasn’t and Gavin was just paranoid.
Yeah, maybe that.
Josh glanced over just then and Gavin wanted to flip him off.
And it wasn’t even really Josh’s fault. He was in love with Devon. Obviously. And why not? Devon was gorgeous, smart, sweet and clearly loved him back.
No, it wasn’t that Gavin was worried about Josh wanting Allie. Or vice versa.
It was more that Josh fit with her better than Gavin did.
Gavin lived in Alaska. Josh lived here. Gavin didn’t know Allie’s family. Josh was part of them. Gavin could barely say the right thing while Josh couldn’t do anything wrong.
He wasn’t worried about Allie wanting Josh or vice versa. But Brewster was like a big old reminder of the things Allie needed.
Which made Gavin very tense.
And that was even without thinking about the fact that Josh had seen Allie naked.
Gavin rolled his neck and tried hard not to squeeze Allie’s knee too hard as his tension ratcheted up. He was going to have to get over the urge to hit Josh. Allie and Devon had apparently made amends and Gavin’s best friend was with Josh’s best friend. It seemed inevitable that he’d be spending time with the guy.
Truthfully, Josh might have a few reasons for wanting to punch him too, Gavin admitted. Like the whole ruining-his-wedding thing. For instance.
Gavin rubbed a hand over his face. God almighty. He was sitting in the middle of the living room, literally surrounded by everyone who had been most affected by him storming into the wedding. Suddenly he felt like the biggest ass in the world. He was drinking coffee with the people whose lives he’d turned upside down.
Sure, it might have been for the best and everyone here might even admit that—but he still felt like an ass.
He quickly stretched to his feet, causing Allie to jump slightly. He strode to the kitchen, knowing she’d follow. He concentrated on breathing deep. He just needed a break. This was all a lot to deal with at once.
He downed a glass of water and turned in time to see Allie enter the kitchen.
“You okay?” She looked…like she didn’t want to be here.
“Yeah. Sure.”
She sighed and came forward, wrapping her arms around him.
Gavin buried his nose in her hair, breathing deep and absorbing the feel of her. Her warmth, her softness, just
her
.
God, he wanted her. He did. She was worth all the discomfort, the questions and concerns from her friends and family, the constant desire to punch something. Or someone.
“I know they can be a bit much.”
He laughed softly. “Yeah.”
“They’re just protective. They just—”
“Allie, I literally carried you out of your wedding in front of all of them. They have a right to think this is weird, to be unsure of me.”
She pulled back to look up at him. “Is it weird for you?”
He looked her straight in the eye. “Yes.”
She winced. “Sorry.”
“I just need to ease into it, I think.”
“They’re not used to you being here. It will get better,” she said.
“Devon and Jackson aren’t usually here.”
She lifted a shoulder. “They are, actually. I mean, we’re used to having them around at different times. Jackson and Josh have always been friends, and through middle school and high school Devon was a pretty regular fixture here.”
“Right.” Gavin drew back, pushing a hand through his hair. He was the new guy, the one who didn’t quite fit, the question mark.
“Gavin—”
“I’m gonna go for a drive.”
Allie clutched his forearm. “No, just—”
“I need some breathing room.”
“Let me come with you.”
He shook his head. The last thing he should do was whisk her away from them again right now. She needed to be here with them, if for no other reason than so
they
could see
she
was okay. And frankly, he wanted to be alone.
If he wanted to be with Allie, he had to be with them too. At least for awhile. Until they all got to know him and understood how much he loved her. But he needed to take them in smaller doses. Which meant figuring out a plan to stay in Promise Harbor and not need psychiatric attention.
“No, you stay. I’ll be back. Or I’ll call you later,” he said, stepping back.
“Gavin, I know this isn’t your thing, but give them a chance. They mean well. And no one blames you for anything.”
Oh, that so wasn’t true. He gave her a little smile, kissed her forehead and then headed for the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Allie felt sick and numb as she watched Gavin pull the truck he’d borrowed from Hayley out of the driveway and disappear down the street. She hugged herself tighter and tried not to cry.
He said he’d be back. She had no reason not to believe him.
That wasn’t the problem.
What bothered her was that even though he’d come back, he wouldn’t want to.
“Dammit,” she breathed, her stomach cramping. She wanted him happy. She hated the idea that being here with her, and her family, was making him
un
happy.
She knew it was a lot for him to take in and deal with at once. She’d been around all these people—often all at the same time like this—her whole life and they could still overwhelm her at times.
But she’d really hoped… She breathed out. Hell, she didn’t know. What had she hoped? She had barely had time to think about Gavin’s integration with her family. She’d been so focused on getting home and checking on everything that she hadn’t thought much beyond the moment, to be honest.
And now, here they were. They had no experience here.
“Fuck.”
She turned and bumped into Hayley.
Hayley’s eyebrows went up. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear.”
Allie gave her a weak smile. She didn’t know Hayley well. They were friendly acquaintances for sure. Maybe more than that. But they hadn’t spent a lot of time together, and certainly not one-on-one. “The swearing has been happening more and more often lately,” Allie admitted.
Hayley glanced at the door Gavin had left through. “I can imagine.”
“No, not because of him,” Allie said quickly. Then she shrugged. “Yeah, okay, partly because of him.”
“Gavin is one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met,” Hayley told her.
Allie nodded.
“But he’s a great guy.”
Allie nodded again. “You don’t have to sell me on him, Hayley.”
“Okay, good.” Hayley smiled. “He’s a little spooked. But give him time. He loves you, Allie. He’s not going anywhere.”
Her words poked at Allie’s heart. They were what she wanted to hear. Or so she thought. They were meant to be reassuring, she knew. But something about it bothered her.
“He’s not going anywhere
because
he loves me?” she asked.
“Right.”
And, of course, she knew that. Gavin hadn’t chosen to come back to Promise Harbor for any reason other than because she was coming back. He never would have otherwise, she was sure.
Allie pinched the bridge of her nose.
He won’t get on the plane without saying good-bye
, she told herself.
He’s spooked, but he won’t leave you.
But that bothered her, too. He wouldn’t leave no matter how miserable or uncomfortable or sad or frustrated he became, because of her. That urge to take care of him was strong, just like when she’d seen him after the polar bear died.
“I might have to break into your house later,” Allie told Hayley. “He’s sleeping on the couch, right?”
Hayley chuckled. “How about I leave the front door unlocked? Unless you’ve changed
a lot
,
I don’t see you being real great at breaking in and I don’t want to have to replace a window or my door.”
Allie smiled. “I think it’s really in my best interest for you to believe that I would have no clue how to break in, no matter what the truth is.”