Home to Seaview Key (A Seaview Key Novel) (10 page)

“Did you try?”

“Marshall didn’t think we had any problems to work out,” she said with regret. “When he told me that, I knew it was over. You can’t fight denial.”

“He must have been shocked when you made the decision.”

“I think it was just one more time that I disappointed him. He almost seemed to expect it.”

“Definitely a jerk,” Seth repeated.

She smiled. “No, just a little self-absorbed and demanding. He was good in so many ways. The parishioners loved him. He was always there for them with a kind word or whatever comfort they needed.”

“But he wasn’t a very good husband,” Seth argued.

Abby sighed. “Certainly not the right husband for me,” she agreed.

Seth studied her. “So am I getting this right, that it’s your self-esteem that’s tied up in the success of Blue Heron Cove?”

“Something like that.”

“You do know that even if it fails that doesn’t make you a failure, right?”

“I’m not sure I can see it that way,” she admitted.

“It could be just an idea that’s ahead of its time,” he said. “It might not be about you at all.”

She let his words sink in. “Thank you for reminding me of that,” she said. “I think you could turn out to be very good for me, Seth Landry.”

“Happy to oblige, but you’d have come to that conclusion on your own eventually. You’re a smart woman.”

“Smart enough to appreciate a good man when I come across one,” she said. “I think I might actually be able to sleep now.”

He stood up. “I’ll take that as my cue to leave.”

Abby stood up and met his gaze. “I’ll have to work on coming up with better cues,” she teased. “I had something else entirely in mind.”

The look that passed over his face was priceless. His expression went from confusion to understanding to unmistakable desire in a heartbeat. And then he chuckled.

“Watch yourself,” he warned. “One of these days I’m going to take you up on what you’re offering.”

Rather than feeling the least bit threatened or looking away as he obviously anticipated, she held her gaze steady. “I’ll look forward to it,” she said solemnly. “Good night, Seth.”

She walked quickly inside and closed the door, then leaned against it and released a sigh. She was playing with fire, no question about it. Then she grinned. She was enjoying every minute of it, too. Maybe the flirting that seemed to go hand in hand with this friendship business was just what she needed, after all.

* * *

When Luke finally got home, Hannah looked up from the book she’d been reading. “You look beat. I wasn’t sure you’d get the last ferry home tonight. How’s Marcia doing?”

He sank down next to her on the sofa. “She’ll make it, I think. She’s still in the intensive care unit, but her fever finally broke. The antibiotics seem to be working.”

“That’s great!” she said. “Have you had anything to eat? Want me to fix you something?”

He shook his head. “I just want to take a shower and crawl into bed. How are things around here?”

“Things with me are fine. Your kids called tonight. I told them you’d call back in the morning.” She hesitated then added, “And Abby’s project didn’t get approved at the council meeting.”

Luke sat up a little straighter. “Why not? Were you at the meeting?”

“No, but Grandma Jenny called me after it was over. Sandra held out and two others backed her, so they postponed the final vote till next month. With Christmas coming at that point, what are the odds they’ll even have a December meeting? They almost always wind up canceling it. I wonder if anyone warned Abby about that?”

“Have you spoken to her?”

Hannah shook her head. “I gather she, Seth, Grandmother and Jack were commiserating and working on a strategy at The Fish Tale after the meeting.”

Luke gave her a penetrating look. “Hannah, are you happy about what happened?”

“No, of course not,” she said a little too quickly, then winced. “Okay, maybe on some level, I am.”

“Why? Are you still hoping Abby will pack up and leave Seaview Key? I thought you’d gotten past that. I thought you were willing to give her a chance, maybe even be friends again.”

She gave him a wry look. “That’s on my sane and rational days,” she said. “This wasn’t one of those days.”

“Because?”

“I made my reservation to go to New York for the tests,” she said.

“Just one reservation? What about me?”

“You’ve been swamped lately and with Marcia so sick and the kids coming for Thanksgiving, it didn’t make sense to ask you to fly up and back while I take a few routine tests. Sue will be around.”

Luke frowned. “I’m the one who should be there. I want to be there.”

She squeezed his hand. “I know you want to be supportive, but at some point I have to be able to go through these tests on my own without freaking out.”

“Why? Surely you’re not preparing for some day that’s never going to come when I’ll abandon you and you’ll be left to deal with everything on your own?”

Hannah didn’t want to admit that in a moment of desperate insecurity that’s exactly what she’d told herself.

“Hannah?” he prodded, then shook his head in obvious frustration. “How am I supposed to convince you that we’re solid, that when it comes to this we’re a team?”

“We can’t be a team, not really,” she argued. “I’m the one who’s had cancer.”

“And I’m your husband,” he replied impatiently. “What affects you affects me. If you don’t get that, then how can we call this a marriage?” He stood up. “I’m going to bed.”

He paused only to give her a lingering, disappointed look, then headed for the stairs.

Hannah stared after him in dismay. What was wrong with her? He wasn’t going to abandon her. He wasn’t going to turn to Abby. She was driving him away. This was all on her. And if one of these days he did look at Abby or any other woman, she’d have only herself to blame.

She picked up the phone and called Sue. “I’m an idiot,” she announced without preamble.

“Could be,” Sue said sleepily.

Since having a late-in-life baby, Sue was asleep by ten these days. It was after that now. Still, she didn’t scold Hannah for disrupting her rest. Hannah could hear the covers rustling, as she sat up in bed, then her murmured comment to her husband to go back to sleep.

“What makes you think you’re an idiot?” she asked Hannah.

Hannah explained what had just happened with Luke.

“Okay, idiot seems a little harsh, but you don’t seem to be thinking too clearly. Luke loves you to pieces. If he’s free to come to New York, you should let him.”

“But you’ve been my support system from the beginning,” Hannah argued, clinging to the sole rational claim she had for what she’d just done.

“And now you have a husband, one who knows a lot more about all the medical mumbo jumbo than I do,” Sue reminded her. “Even if he weren’t crazy in love with you, he’s a better interpreter of all that than I am, so why the reluctance?”

“It’s just such a reminder than I’m sick,” Hannah said. “I hate having Luke view me as sick or weak.”

“First, you’re not sick. You’ve been cancer-free and there’s no reason to think that’s changed, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And, second, do you think there’s any way at all that Luke might be unaware of these tests and their implications? He knows they’re coming up. If I understand anything at all about him, they were probably on his calendar as well as yours. You’re not protecting him, Hannah. You’re shutting him out.” Sue drew in a deep breath, then asked, “Is this about his old girlfriend being back in town?”

“Sure, that’s part of it,” Hannah admitted readily. “She’s so vibrant and alive. I hate reminding Luke that I could have cancer again at any moment.”

“Sweetie, I doubt anyone is more aware of that than he is. He loves you. Let him show that by supporting you.”

Sue’s frank talk finally registered with her.

“Thank you,” Hannah said softly. “You always have known how to cut through my garbage.”

“Happy to oblige. If you need me with you next week, let me know. Otherwise, I’m going to assume that you’ve come to your senses and brought your husband to New York. If the two of you don’t come by to see the baby, though, I’m going to be very angry.”

“We’ll be there,” Hannah said, smiling finally. “It’ll be fun to see you so totally gaga. You’re going to spoil that baby rotten.”

“Absolutely,” Sue said unrepentantly. “I’m going to leave it to her father to straighten her out.”

Laughing, Hannah hung up, turned out the lights and headed slowly upstairs.

In the bedroom, she went to Luke’s side of the bed and sat on the edge. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I’ll call and make a reservation for you first thing in the morning.”

He sat up. “Thank you. What changed your mind? Or do I even need to ask. You called Sue, didn’t you?”

“The voice of reason,” she said wryly. “Yes, I did. Do you mind that she can get through to me, when you can’t?”

“I don’t mind anything or anyone as long as it gets us on track,” he told her. “I love you so much, Hannah. It kills me to think you don’t get that, that somehow I’m not showing you how important you are.”

“It’s not about anything you do or don’t do. It’s about me. I think the cancer took a toll on more than my body. It sapped me of my self-confidence. I’ll try harder to fight these doubts and insecurities that wash over me.”

Luke pulled her down beside him. “And I’ll be right here whenever you need to be reminded that I’m always going to be in your corner.”

She settled into his arms, and for the first time since she’d made her flight and hotel reservation, she felt at peace.

10

S
eth spent a lot of time lying awake, staring at the ceiling after leaving Abby’s. He’d seen her in a totally different light tonight after that council meeting that hadn’t gone her way. He’d detected unanticipated vulnerabilities. He’d also identified in new ways with her desire to make a fresh start in Seaview Key. Wasn’t that exactly why he was here, too? To put the past behind him?

In a way that made the attraction he felt toward her more dangerous than ever. If she became too approachable, too human, how was he supposed to keep his defenses in place? And those defenses—the ones that kept him from acting on his already confessed desire to sleep with her—could be all that stood between him and unbearable pain, a pain he knew all too well.

He thought back to his feelings for Cara Sanchez. She’d been so blasted strong in the face of battle. She’d seen atrocities no woman—or man, for that matter—should ever have to witness, yet there had been a sweetness about her that had spoken to him. She’d been one of the most optimistic people he’d ever known, one of the funniest. To be able to share laughter with someone at the end of a day filled with horrendous crises had been a gift.

When she’d been killed by a suicide bomber while he’d been on a mission to rescue some injured soldiers who’d been ambushed, he’d been devastated. He’d blamed himself for not being there to protect her, though the truth was, had he been there, rather than in the air in a helicopter, he’d have been killed, too. When he’d called Luke to tell him what had happened, berating himself for failing Cara, Luke had tried to hammer it home that what he was feeling was survivor’s guilt, but Seth simply couldn’t accept it. Surely there would have been something he could have done.

After that his emotions had closed down. Even though he hadn’t been there during the attack, he’d seen enough to know the carnage it would have caused. And no matter how he’d pleaded, his commander had refused to let him view Cara’s body. Even now he wasn’t sure which was worse, to have seen what remained of the woman he’d loved, or to have his reality-fueled imagination supply the details.

He broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about that day, about coming back to a base that had been partially shattered by an extremist, a guard who’d turned on the American troops he was supposed to be aiding.

The images in his head brought back the anguish, the fury that had overtaken him when he’d realized Cara was gone. He’d lost his mind for a time, wanted to kill the remaining guards to retaliate for the one who’d betrayed them all. Luke’s calls and emails had kept him sane, reminding him that Cara wouldn’t have sought revenge. She’d known the risks and chosen to be there, had believed the mission to be worthy of the sacrifice. She’d been a hero among many heroes.

With his dream of coming back to the States, marrying Cara and having a family no longer viable, he’d reenlisted and gone back to Afghanistan, where he’d focused a hundred percent on his job, numbed himself to his emotions. Then he’d gotten out of the army and come here.

In an attempt to drive out the memories, Seth got up and made a pot of strong coffee designed to keep him wide awake, because if the images were vivid when he was alert, they were worse when he was sleeping. He’d awakened in a cold sweat more than once, screams echoing in his head.

He took his cup of coffee and went outside. There was a chill in the night air that made him shiver. He gazed up at the stars in the inky sky.

“Are you up there, baby?” he asked, not for the first time. “You’re still in my heart, you know.”

But there was another woman pushing Cara aside these days, another woman whom he sensed had the ability to sneak into his heart and put him at risk for more pain. The excuses he’d dreamed up to keep distance between them—some valid, some perhaps ridiculous—were all that kept his heart whole.

“I’m not sure I can take that chance,” he murmured to himself.

Sure
you
can
.

The voice in his head almost seemed real and so, so familiar. It was Cara’s, sweet and softly accented.

You’re
the
bravest
man
I
know
.

“Not anymore,” he argued with this ghost from the past.

Don’t
sell
yourself
short
.
I’ll
be
disappointed
if
you
don’t
do
enough
living
for
both
of
us
.

With the soft whisper of a sigh against his cheek, she was gone. He knew that when he suddenly felt more at peace than he had in a while.

That didn’t mean he was ready for all the complications that Abby represented, he told himself staunchly, but there was no denying the tiny crack in the shield around his heart. He wondered how long it would be before the crack that Cara had started would widen enough to let Abby in.

* * *

“You sleep okay last night?” Grandma Jenny asked as she piled a plate with food the next morning.

Seth noticed she’d fixed eggs, bacon, biscuits, all of his favorites.

“Sure,” he said.

“Really? Then what were you doing out on the porch for half the night?”

He sighed. Of course she’d caught him. She slept lightly and checked on sounds in the night.

“I was just thinking through a few things,” he said.

“How to keep Abby at arm’s length?” she guessed.

He chewed his food slowly to put off answering, then managed a suitably bemused tone—or so he thought. “Why would you ask that?”

She merely rolled her eyes. “Do you really need me to spell it out for you? You’ve been manufacturing all sorts of excuses to avoid her, yet every time I turn around you’re right there with her. I think I know a man who’s struggling with his emotions when I see one.”

“You saw Abby after that meeting last night,” he said. “She was totally down. She needed support.”

“I was there. So was Jack. You could have come on back here and left us to cheer her up,” she said reasonably, then gave him a sly look. “Or didn’t you trust us to be suitably supportive?”

“I’m sure you would have done an outstanding job,” he said, flushing under her scrutiny. “I just figured I could hang out and help, too.”

“Any special distractions you used once you got her home?” she asked.

There was no mistaking the knowing glint in her eyes.

“Of course not,” he said with indignation, well aware of what she was really asking. “I don’t take advantage of vulnerable women.”

She had the audacity to laugh at that. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

“I am not having this conversation with you of all people. If you think you get to dig around in my personal business, then it really is time for me to get my own place. With Kelsey and Jeff due home later today, it’s past time, anyway.”

She waved off the threat. “Oh, settle down. I’m just saying you and Abby are two adults who might have a whole lot to offer each other. Seems a crying shame not to take advantage of the opportunity.”

“Would you be so eager for this if you weren’t worried about her having designs on Luke?”

She faltered a little at that. “Okay, maybe that was a consideration at first, but I don’t see the same sparks flying between those two that I do between you and Abby. That’s reassured me I don’t have anything to fear for Hannah’s marriage.”

“I’m glad you recognize that,” he said, thinking it would keep things around here on a more even keel, especially if she could convince Hannah of the same thing.

She gave him a pointed look. “Now I can focus on you,” she told him cheerfully.

The remark sent a shiver of dread down Seth’s spine.

“You need a woman in your life,” she continued. “I’ve been saying that since you got to town. Now fate seems to have brought one and plunked her down in front of you. The way I see it you shouldn’t spit in destiny’s eye.”

Despite his discomfort, Seth couldn’t help laughing. “A very persuasive argument,” he said. “I’ll take it under consideration. I surely wouldn’t want to ignore all this sage advice.”

She gave a little nod of satisfaction. “Good enough, but I’ll have more to say if I don’t see signs of progress.”

“Oh, I can believe that,” Seth said.

Heaven help him!

* * *

“Knock, knock!”

Hannah heard her daughter’s voice and immediately abandoned her computer and headed downstairs. Of all the interruptions she’d had recently, this was the most welcome.

“Kelsey, you’re back!” she called out excitedly. “Do you have my precious grandbaby with you?”

“Do you think I’d dare come by without her?” Kelsey replied, a grin on her face as Hannah reached the bottom of the staircase.

The baby held out her arms toward Hannah, a grin splitting her face. “Ga’ma,” she said, straining toward her.

Hannah reached for Isabella and held her close. “How are you, my sweet little angel? I’ve missed you.” She glanced at Kelsey, saw the color in her cheeks and the shine in her eyes. She looked rested and relaxed. “Looks as if the vacation did you a world of good. No problems with the in-laws?”

Kelsey made a face. “Jeff’s folks were so gaga over their granddaughter, they didn’t have time to make a fuss with us for dropping out of school. Of course, that didn’t stop them from making at least one valiant pitch for us to return to Stanford to finish. Frankly, I think that was more about getting Isabella closer to them than it was about college.”

“Still, it is something you should think about at some point,” Hannah said, drawing a frown. “Okay, okay. I know you’re perfectly content running Seaview Inn, but what about Jeff?”

“Jeff has sold two more software programs since he’s been here. He doesn’t need a degree from Stanford to make his mark in the tech world. We’re both doing what we love, Mom. Give it a rest.”

Hannah immediately backed off. She should know by now that her strong-willed daughter and doting son-in-law had worked through how they wanted to spend their future. She should be grateful they wanted to be right here, especially with her first grandchild. No matter what she said, she’d be brokenhearted if they went back to California.

“Have you had lunch? Can I fix you something?”

“Just some iced tea,” Kelsey replied. “Then I need to get the baby down for a nap. Between all the excitement of new people and new places and jet lag from the red-eye flight last night, Bella’s schedule is totally out of whack.”

When they were in the kitchen and the baby was in the portable playpen Hannah kept on hand along with several toys, Kelsey looked over the rim of her glass and inquired casually, “So what’s this I hear about Luke’s old flame being back in town?”

Hannah frowned. What had her grandmother been thinking when she’d told Kelsey about that? “It’s no big deal,” she assured her daughter. “Abby and I were best friends back then. I’m hoping we can be again. She’s actually been very supportive. She’s assured me she has no designs on Luke, and I have no reason not to believe her.”

“Well, you’ll have to excuse me if I keep a close eye on her. I need to see that for myself,” Kelsey said protectively.

“I don’t suppose your grandmother also mentioned that Abby might have something going on with Seth,” Hannah said.

Kelsey looked surprised. “But isn’t he a lot younger?”

“A few years, sure. What’s the big deal?”

“It just seems weird, that’s all.”

Hannah chuckled. “You did know that sooner or later he’d meet someone, right?”

“Well, of course,” Kelsey said indignantly. “He deserves to be happy. I’m just not sure he needs some cougar chasing after him.”

“Wait till you meet Abby. She’s not like that,” Hannah said. “I think any chasing is pretty mutual.”

“If you say so.” Kelsey’s expression sobered. “How are you feeling?” she asked. “I know your tests are coming up. Are you okay?”

“I haven’t found any new lumps, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I was thinking about your outlook. I know how panicky you get. Having this Abby turn up can’t be helping.”

Hannah hated that she hadn’t kept her worries from her daughter. She squeezed Kelsey’s hand. “I have everything in perspective, I promise.”

“Then you’re a lot more evolved than I’ve been giving you credit for,” Kelsey said. “If some old flame of Jeff’s came around, I’d want to cut out her heart.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Hannah chided. “You’d keep an open mind. That’s what I’m doing.”

Just then the baby whimpered before letting out a full-blown squall.

“Oops!” Kelsey said, jumping up to get her. “Looks as if it’s past nap time.”

With Isabella in her arms and still crying, Kelsey bent down and gave Hannah a kiss. “Love you. We’ll see you soon. I’m going to call Grandpa and invite him over for Sunday dinner in a couple of weeks. Is that okay with you?”

Hannah hesitated for only an instant. Her relationship with her father, who’d abandoned her at a young age, was still evolving, but he wanted desperately to make amends. And, she was forced to admit, he’d been trying hard to be a good grandfather to Kelsey.

“Sure,” she said, trying to hide any evidence of reluctance. “It’ll be good to see him.”

Kelsey gave her a long look. “Try to work on being more convincing, Mom. He’s trying.”

“I know that. Now, give Jeff a hug for me,” Hannah told her. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me, too. I couldn’t wait to get back.” A beaming smile spread across her face. “Do you have any idea how much I love it here?”

Since she’d given up a college degree to stay in Seaview Key, Hannah had some idea. “You’re so lucky to have figured out what’s right for you at such a young age.”

“I’m the luckiest,” Kelsey confirmed.

Hannah stood in the doorway as they left. Kelsey settled the baby into her car seat, then got behind the wheel. She waved as they drove away.

As many regrets as she’d had when Kelsey had turned up here, pregnant and determined not to go back to college, she couldn’t deny that her daughter was happy. After years of being on their own, just the two of them, in New York, they were now surrounded by family. And wasn’t that the most important thing of all? How had she ever lost sight of that?