Hope at Dawn (11 page)

“Your brothers?”

“Yes.” Livy shut her eyes and breathed through the sharp worry she felt for their safety.

“Some folks around here might take a statement like that for sedition,” Friedrick warned, “German or not.”

Livy opened her eyes and pushed away from the wall. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He wouldn’t report her, would he? She hadn’t shared a word of the few suspect things he’d said to her. “I’m glad we can help the French and the British. It’s just…” She let her voice trail out, uncertain whether she should stop or continue.

Friedrick waited, the trowel unmoving in his hand. His expression remained open, interested. But could she trust him? She watched Harlan and Greta, who were now examining something in the nearby field. Even after only a few weeks here, Livy saw how much the two revered their older brother. Friedrick might be hesitant to further his friendship with her, but she felt certain he wouldn’t betray her.

“This war has taken so much from me.” The words spilled from her, bringing both pain and relief as she unburdened them from the silent tomb of her mind. “I had to leave college to help out when my brothers enlisted, and I fear every day something will happen to one or both of them. Someone else very dear to me came back a different person after being over there. He can’t stay away from liquor.”

She bit her cheek as fresh resentment and humiliation washed over her. Why did everything in this world have to be so topsy-turvy? Why hadn’t Robert leaned on her and her compassion instead of seeking solace in a bottle? She missed being with him, at least when he’d been sober. Or did she simply miss having someone around to talk to, someone to do things with?

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Friedrick said, his tone sincere, “about your friend.”

A flash of recognition in his blue eyes made Livy think he knew she’d been talking about Robert. Would he surmise then that Robert hadn’t shown up on her birthday because he’d been too drunk? To Livy’s surprise, the thought didn’t embarrass her. She hadn’t yet gathered the courage to tell her parents about Robert’s drinking, but the weight of the secret felt less heavy after sharing some of it with Friedrick.

“Do you have family over there?” She’d wanted to ask the question since learning he was German, but no time had seemed appropriate, until now. “In Germany?”

“Elsa’s grandmother and aunt still live there.” Friedrick studied his large hands as he spoke. “She was very close to them before she came here. My uncle, my father’s oldest brother, didn’t immigrate with the family either. He and his family are still in Germany.”

“Are you glad you’re not fighting against them?”

He bent to capture more mortar on his trowel and smeared it onto the bricks. Would he answer? When he did finally speak, his words came out heavy with regret. “Most days I’m grateful not to be fighting, but there are times I feel useless here.” He braced one hand against the wall as he smoothed the mortar. “Still, I hate to think what will become of my family’s country and culture should they lose this war.”

His admission stirred Livy’s compassion, but the way he kept his back to her said he didn’t want her pity. There had to be something she could say, though, to bring happiness back into his somber face.

“Sounds a bit seditious, too, don’t you think?”

Friedrick glanced over his shoulder at her, his brow furrowed. She smiled to show she was teasing. Slowly the cautiousness ebbed from his face.

“I promise not to have you thrown in the clink if you’ll do the same for me.” He stuck out his free hand, his blue eyes crinkling with amusement.

“Agreed.” She shifted her things to one arm and stepped closer to shake his hand. She loved the way his grasp engulfed hers, making her feel safe.

She knew she ought to let go, but she didn’t want to. The way Friedrick peered down at her, he didn’t seem in a hurry to release her either. Her breath caught as his gaze lowered to her lips. A flash of triumph rose inside her. For all his indifference lately, he still liked her.

Friedrick cleared his throat, the intensity of his look increasing. “Livy?”

“Yes?” Would he ask to kiss her? Should she allow him to?

“You’re…um…standing in the mortar.”

Livy blinked in surprise.
The mortar?
She stared at her feet and gasped. Her high heels were sunk halfway into the tray of grayish-white goo. Letting go of Friedrick, she tried to hop out of the mortar, but her shoes slipped and she teetered backward. Friedrick grabbed her elbow before she could fall.

“Thanks.”

“Can you move?”

A giggle escaped her mouth as she shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

In one swift movement, he swept her into his arms, flicking mortar against the school, and carried her away from the offending goop.

At the sight of her white-covered shoes, Livy giggled again. The whole situation, coupled with the horrible encounter with Mrs. Keller, struck her as humorous. Once the laughter came, she couldn’t stop. Tears of merriment leaked out.

“Are you all right?” Friedrick’s concern brought another fit of giggles.

Livy wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. “What a fitting end to this afternoon.”

She chuckled once more, but her amusement slowly faded as she realized Friedrick hadn’t put her down yet. He still held her, close enough she could feel the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath his shirt. Close enough to smell the scent of soap and sun on him.

Her heart ricocheted at his nearness, at the feel of his solid chest against her side. She hazarded a peek at his face. His serious expression hadn’t changed, though he didn’t appear angry. Instead he radiated surprise, in a somber kind of way.
But surprise at what?
she wondered.

“I…um…can walk now.” She didn’t want him to release her yet, but she worried someone might see them in such a familiar-looking pose.

Friedrick looked from her to her shoes, and a sheepish smile lifted his mouth. “Might as well get you to your door.”

He carried her the rest of the way to her cabin, then lowered her gently to the ground. Livy took a much-needed step backward and bumped into the doorway. Her heart rate hadn’t fully slowed.

“You sure you’ll be all right?”

She gave a vigorous nod. “I suppose there’s nothing I can do about the Kellers, but I can keep teaching the rest of my students.”

“You’re doing well.”

The compliment made her blush. “Thank you. It’s hard not to wonder, though. At least once a day,” she added with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Do you need help with your shoes? You probably ought to get that stuff off quickly.”

Livy studied the hardening goop. “No, I can do it.”

“See you tomorrow then, Livy.” He smiled and turned away.

“See you tomorrow.”

He strode a few feet past the cabin, then suddenly he circled back. “Do you want to come to the dance hall with me tonight?” He ran his hand over his stubbled jaw. “It might do you some good, give you something else to think about other than the Kellers and teaching.”

An irrational happiness filled her at his invitation. At the same time, though, a bell of warning sounded in her mind. If she agreed, she was acquiescing to far more than just a ride to the dance hall. “What about Maria?” she hedged, giving herself more time to decide. “Don’t you usually take her?”

“She’s helping her mother get ready for the spring social next weekend.”

“Which dance hall were you planning to go to?” There was no way she would agree to go to the one near her home, where they’d met on her birthday.

Unspoken understanding filled his blue eyes. “There’s one an hour’s drive north of here that Maria and I haven’t tried yet.”

The inside of her cheek found its way between her teeth as she vacillated in indecision. What would her parents say about her going? What would the people of Hilden say? Mrs. Norton’s accusing words about the Germans repeated through her mind:
they’re conspiring with our enemies.

She’d spent enough time around Friedrick and her students to know such rumors weren’t true, but if she went to the dance hall with him, would she be branded a German sympathizer? Would her parents hear of it and be angry, or worried? Would Joel or Tom be furious with her as well?

She lifted her eyes to Friedrick’s and saw only kindness there, a desire to help. And maybe something more? The possibility sent a pleasant shiver up her arms. Why should she allow others to dictate whom she spent her time with outside of her classroom? She was tired of long evenings by herself with no one else to talk to. She was a grown woman, and she would decide what she did and with whom. Besides, she told herself firmly, it was one night of dancing—that was all.

“What time will you come for me?”

Friedrick’s face lit up at her words. “Six thirty.”

“I’ll be ready,” she said, raising her chin.

He grinned. “Looking forward to it,” he said before heading back to the school.

“Me, too,” Livy whispered to his back as a thrill of anticipation, and a little fear, raced through her.

“Are you going somewhere?” Elsa asked Friedrick. She and Greta were rinsing the supper dishes. Friedrick had already hitched up the horses and had come back inside for his cap.

“Just dancing.” He collected his hat from the peg by the back door. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Elsa frowned. “I thought you usually took Maria to the dance hall.”

“She can’t come tonight.”

“Because she is coming here with her mother and a few of the other women from church. We are making decorations for the spring social.” She handed Greta a dripping plate to dry. “Are you driving there alone then?”

It was Friedrick’s turn to frown. He wouldn’t lie to her, but she wasn’t going to like the truth. “I invited Miss Campbell to come to the dance hall with me. She’s had a rough time of it this week, and I thought she could use the distraction.”

Elsa met his level gaze with one of her own. “Is that wise?”

No, Friedrick wanted to say. It wasn’t wise. Not for him, not for his family, probably not for Livy either. But he’d been powerless not to ask her after carrying her out of the mortar. The way she’d fit perfectly against his chest, strands of her soft hair brushing his chin, had both surprised and pleased him. He hadn’t wanted to let her go. If that wasn’t enough to make him extend the invitation, then her lingering melancholy about the Keller family and her ability to be a good teacher had tugged at his compassion. Surely there was no harm in helping cheer her up.

He’d been so vigilant in maintaining distance from her since Easter, despite seeing her nearly every day and wishing he’d been the one to make her laugh or smile instead of one of her students. Driving out thoughts of her beautiful face or her gumption or her kissable lips had been difficult, at times impossible. But he’d done a fairly good job of it—until now.

Friedrick realized Elsa was still waiting for an answer, along with Greta, who held the dishtowel unmoving in her small hands. “It’s not as if we’re only going to dance with each other, Mother. We’ll be fine.”

He bade them good night and strode out of the house. Why did helping Livy seem to come at the cost of helping his family?

As he climbed onto the wagon seat, Maria and her mother pulled their wagon alongside his. Friedrick stifled a groan. He hadn’t left soon enough.

“Hello, Friedrick.” Maria smiled.

Knowing it would be rude to leave, Friedrick waited for her to hop down and walk over. Maria’s mother threw them a knowing smile and took off at a trot toward the back door, leaving the two of them alone in the yard.

“Going somewhere?” Maria placed her hand on the side of the wagon. “I was hoping you’d be around while we worked on the decorations for the social.”

Friedrick studied the girl’s pretty face. He hated to hurt her with the announcement he was going dancing with someone else, but he couldn’t let her keep thinking there was more to their relationship than friendship. “I’m going to a dance hall, Maria.”

“Oh?” Her smooth brow scrunched in confusion. “Alone?”

“No. I’m driving Miss Campbell.”

Her surprise hardened into a dark frown. “I thought she might be sweet on you, especially since she showed up at our church the other week.”

Friedrick shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

She lowered her hand to her side. “It’s not? What about you and me?”

“We’re friends, Maria. Always have been.” He pulled his cap more tightly onto his head, wishing he could erase the pain radiating from her. “Always—”

“Will be,” she finished in a tight whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

She held her head high. “So am I. But don’t forget, Friedrick.” She tossed her hair, her violet eyes flashing. “I’ll be here. Whenever you need me.”

He responded with a nod and gathered the reins. “Have a nice time tonight.”

“You, too.” Her words were coated with sarcasm. Friedrick could only hope she’d come to understand—and find her own happiness—someday.

Less than fifteen minutes later, he pulled the horses to a stop in front of Livy’s cabin. He climbed down as Livy stepped outside. She wore a green dress that matched the color of her eyes. Her hair was arranged in a nice twist, leaving her slender neck and throat exposed, save for a few blond strands.

“Let me lock up.”

“You have a coat?” he asked when she’d finished locking her door. The night was unusually warm for mid-April, but the drive home would be colder.

She smiled and lifted her arm to show him the coat draped there. He followed her around the wagon to help her up. He offered her his hand, and as she climbed past him, Friedrick inhaled a whiff of vanilla. The scent fit her exactly—lovely but not ostentatious.

Once they were both settled on the seat, he turned the wagon around and headed back in the direction he’d come.

“The school is looking much better,” Livy said as they drove past the brick building.

With the new shingles and the freshly mortared bricks on the south side, the school looked nearly as good as it had when Friedrick had attended it. “The place was only a few years old when I first started there.”