I Don't Want to Lose You (12 page)

             
When we met up with the group he was with originally and it was time to decide who was going to pair off to sit in each row for the next ride, he made it clear that I was sitting with him on every ride.  Sonya and Brenda looked at me wondering when I suddenly became
his
.  I didn't mind.  Like a little kid waiting to be picked to be on someone's team to play on, it was nice to be picked first.  He made each ride more fun than I had ever remembered them being all of the other times I had been there.  I didn't even mind that he aided in getting us banned from It’s a Small World for the rest of the night.  His shenanigans had me in constant laughter. 

             
With every ride that we got on, he made sure that I was the first one to get on, even when it was just the two of us.  And when the rides were over, he would get out first and take my hand to help me out.  That stuck with me because I remembered going to Six Flags with some friends and Nathaniel over winter break.  For the few times that we sat together on a ride, I didn’t receive any assistance with getting on and off of it.  I was on my own.

             
It wasn't until we went into Minnie Mouse's house that the possessive level jumped from a four to a nine. As we were walking through Minnie's house, I took a picture of him sitting on her sofa, another one with him and my girls and then we came to her bedroom.  Theo got on Minnie's bed and laid down.

             
“I don't think you're supposed to actually use her bed as a bed,” Brenda stated.

             
“It's comfy,” he said as he pulled me over to the hard, fake bed.  “Sit down.”  I sat.  “It's comfy, huh?”

             
“I guess if you like sleeping on a rock,” I said.  I went to get up and he pulled me again but this time to lay down next to him. “I don't want to be in a bed that a mouse sleeps in.”

             
“You know she doesn't really sleep in it.  We can put it to good use,” he said as he winked.

             
What?
I looked at his face and could see that he was serious.

             
“Theo, you have lost your mind?  I'm getting up,” I said.  I freed myself from him and got up.              

             
He sat there pouting over my objection and rejection but he eventually made his way up off of Minnie's bed and followed me out of her house.

             
Sonya whispered in my ear, “What is wrong with him tonight? I've never seen him act like this.”

             
I whispered back, “I don't know.”  I kind of thought I did know, though.  The time that we had to spend together was coming to a close and if he was going to do something, he had better get it done.

             
The only times that I was able to be apart from him was when we had restroom breaks.  When we would walk through large crowds, if I was behind him, he would grab my hand and hold it so that I could keep up.  He kept saying, “Don't walk behind me. Walk next to me.”

             
By the time the night was near over, we got on our last ride, Space Mountain.  We were so exhausted but nothing I said to get us out of line before we got on the ride worked. Everyone wanted to get on this last ride.  Theo spent the whole time in line with his head on my shoulder enjoying a facial hair massage.  Normally that ride would provoke fear from me because of a bad memory I had as a little girl of almost falling off.  This time, however, I couldn't even muster up the energy to scream.  We just went along with the motions of the ride, barely holding on to the handlebars because that required too much effort.

             
When it was time to leave Disneyland, Theo hugged me good night, or morning since it was five in the morning. I got on my bus and went to sleep.  When I woke up at the school, I officially stamped that night as the best night ever since I had never had so much fun, all thanks to Theo.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

             
Graduation day.  My mother was ecstatic as it meant one down and one to go.  I had mixed feelings about it.  There was sadness in knowing that this would probably be the last time that I ever saw or spoke to the majority of people that I knew.  There was one single road that we all took together and this event marked the fork and different paths to take which would continue to have more forks and paths leading us further and further apart.  When I would speak like that to my fellow seniors they would say, “We'll see each other at the reunion.”

             
I would tell them that they would not see me there.  When they would ask me why, I would honestly tell them that their import in my life would most likely expire on this day.  The reality was, of my twenty closest friends, if I had that many, not a single one was going to the same school as I was.  More than half of them were going to school out of state and at least half of the remaining ones were going to school in Northern California.  Sonya and Theo would have each other in Berkeley at least.

             
Every time that I would start on my “I don't need you in my life after graduation” speech, Theo would tell me that I would have to come to the reunion. 

             
“You have to come,” he would say. “If I can't find you before then, I need to know that I can take you from there.”

             
“You're so full of it.  What if you're married with kids?” I'd always ask.

             
“She'll be a temporary stand in until I have the real deal within reach.  Any kids can be replaced by ours.”

             
“And what if I'm married?  Then what?”

             
“If you show up with Nathaniel or someone else, I'll kindly ask him to go get a drink for us while we catch up.  When he leaves to get the punch, I'm kidnapping you.”

             
“You got it all planned out, huh?”

             
“Yep, just waiting for the right time to execute it and make you mine.”

             
There were times when I would think about his reunion plan and wonder if I would go or not.  I wouldn't go for all of the reasons I told everyone.  I would go to see if, in ten years, he still wanted me and where he was in the stream of his goals.  I wouldn't go to avoid the disappointment of him not being there or my having to go home with whom I came with.

             
I walked to the school in my cap and gown for what would be my last time as a student.  I had all of my stuff on representing the honor roll and National Honor Society.  Truth be told, the only reason I joined NHS was to make sure I wasn't wearing a plain cap and gown to my graduation.  It just so happened that the first NHS meeting I attended since being in high school ended with my being the President of it.  I had my camera in hand and took pictures of everybody. 

             
When Theo found me, which was only a matter of time, there was hardly a picture he would take without me being next to him and his arm around my shoulders.  We took quite a few group pictures.  As it was time to start getting in line to begin the procession, he ran over to me and said, “One for the road?”

             
I gave a huge grin and massaged his facial hair.  I noticed that he had two medallions he was wearing.  I quickly went into a pout.  “It seems like everyone has a medallion and I don't.  That stinks.”

              He quickly took one off and began putting it on me.  “Here, wear this one.”

             
“No, no.  I'm just whining, but I know I wasn't in the top five in those classes to deserve to get one.”

             
“Wear it anyway.  It would mean more to me to know this is with you than for me to wear it.”

             
“Okay.  If you're sure.”

             
“I'm sure.  I'm going to miss you, you know?”

             
I smiled, gave him a hug and told him that I would miss him also.  I straightened up everything that he was wearing to make sure that he was looking his best.  He ran back to his spot in line with the rest of the top ten students and the graduation began. 

             
When it was all over, Nathaniel found me and walked me home to where I was having a small party with a few family members and friends.  With that, I packed up everything from the past twelve years- every picture, note, thought, report card, memory- and put them in a box taped shut and in the attic.  Life had moved on.

PART THREE

Life Takes a Turn

CHAPTER NINETEEN

             
I had started going to college full time as a business major and working part time as a receptionist at an ad agency in downtown Los Angeles.   I was quite busy but I managed to make some time every week to spend with Nathaniel.  Things were going as well as they had been when we first got together and the “m” word kept being brought up by him. 

             
It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was in my room watching Facts of Life reruns when my phone rang.  It was Sonya and she was back at home visiting her family.  We caught up on what we were doing and how life had changed when she dropped the bomb on me.