In Between Dreams (33 page)

Sam felt a bit out matched in comparison to the billionaire who sat across from him at the small fold-out dining room table. His stature as an equal to Daniel crumbled around the edges.

Bailey took another bite of her meal and stood up. The men followed her. She grabbed her purse and turned to them. “Let’s go.”

They took a cab to Purple Café and Wine Bar. The café was small and complete with full-length windows on all sides. They found a small dark wooden table in the back corner of the café. Sam and Bailey ordered a bottle of wine to share, and Daniel got a glass of his favorite scotch.

“So how does it work, really?” Bailey asked quietly, trying to avoid others from overhearing their conversation. “What happens when we aren’t in those bodies?”

“That I don’t know. I assume they have lives, but if they do…are we just interrupting them every couple weeks?” Daniel shrugged. “There is a lot
I
still don’t know.”

“Who found us to do these
missions
?” Sam wondered aloud.

“Rodney found everyone in our group. Katherine is part of another group. Her original leader found theirs too. It’s different in each case.” Daniel looked at Sam. “You used to live in Texas, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, when this all started.”

“Rodney found you at a church mission group. You were helping translate Spanish for someone. So when we needed language skill sets, he got you. We would have only used you for that one assignment, but you kept learning new languages. It really broadened your, and our, horizons.”

Sam half laughed at the irony of it all. In the beginning, he learned more languages, because he thought of the dreams as signs. He felt the dreams were inspirations of what he was born to do.

“Rodney found me when I was in New York. I went to NYU. He was my professor. He told me I could convince a vegetarian to eat a hot dog.” Daniel laughed. Bailey was enthralled, the idea that Rodney was real had already set in, but hearing about it from Daniel brought new excitement to her. “And you,” he said to Bailey with a grin, “are your father’s daughter through and through.”

“Wait, what?” Bailey and Sam almost said in unison. Sam knew Bailey’s dad had died when she was young but didn’t know much more than that. Daniel referring to her father put both Sam and Bailey at a loss for words.

“Your dad used to be the comfort on the team,” Daniel explained, slowly. Trying not set her off. “Before you were the comfort, he was.”

Bailey shook her head in disbelief. “My dad didn’t have a sleeping disorder,” she said with confidence. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She suddenly felt defensive. Her teeth were clenched; her eyes were watering.

“I know he didn’t. Neither do you,” Daniel pointed out. “He could control it, because he knew it was real. Rodney waited two years after your father’s passing to try you out. And you were wonderful.

“You see, Rodney could try people out in a ‘dream’ trial to see if they would work out in the long run. Rodney knew this life wasn’t for the meek, it wasn’t for just anyone. So he did trials. He could always terminate the connection to the shadow self if the apprentice was unable to perform effectively. All the apprentice would have is a ‘last night I had such a vivid dream’ story to tell before going on to their real existence.” Daniel explained in a clear and concise way. It was like the morality of stealing a life was somehow lost on him.

Bailey’s nose tingled. The fact that Daniel knew her father gave her a strange sensation. It felt weird that these two worlds of hers were so thoroughly intertwined. Bailey heard the words but was stuck on her father’s connection to her dream life. “You knew my father?” Bailey asked and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. How much didn’t she know about her dad? How much did she miss? “What was he like? What was he like when he was with you?”

“He
loved
helping people,” Daniel said. “He was a trickster, and he was always telling ridiculous and out-of-line jokes. He had those trademark sayings that were so predictable yet really comforting to hear.”

Sam looked at his hands awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to be there for Bailey but didn’t know how. He hated how Daniel always had the answers and left him feeling inadequate. He was
filled with self-doubt. Sam hated how Daniel could pull at her heart strings no matter what the situation.

Bailey’s eyes were like a leaky faucet she couldn’t turn off. The water continued to leak, and all she could do was wipe her cheeks. “He always talked about you and your mom. Ann, right?”

Bailey let out a whimper; hearing Daniel say her mom’s name gave her a pain in her chest she couldn’t explain. She ached for her father. She wanted him to be there, to explain everything to her. Why hadn’t he told her mom so she could warn Bailey? With each answer, there arose more questions.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Her voice was almost accusatory. She couldn’t help it. So many emotions flowed through her.

“I followed orders. Rodney wanted to be the one to tell you. When you were ready.” Daniel put his hand on Bailey’s, and she looked at the touch. It was confusing to see Daniel like this: sweet and almost caring. He was still smug, but he was displaying a side she had never seen.

“Then why didn’t he?” Bailey she cried softly.

“Bailey,” Sam breathed. He put his hand on the back of her neck, rubbing the nape of her neck softly. She moved from his grip. She pulled her hands from Daniel’s grasp simultaneously.

“Don’t patronize me, either of you,” she barked. “You’re not answering any of our questions,” she told Daniel. Her eyebrows furrowed together in a straight, angry line.

“Bales,” Daniel spoke softly, leaning toward her. “I need you to calm down before I tell you any more.”

“Just give her a minute,” Sam said. “She’s going to figure it out. Let it come.”

“Oh, come on, Sam,” Daniel argued. “We need to help her through this. She’s in denial.”

“Denial?” Sam mumbled. “You know who’s in denial?”

“Oh, don’t start on me right now, Sammy Froufrou.”

Bailey felt like the walls of the building closed in on her. She couldn’t be in there anymore. She got out of her seat and stormed out of the bar to the street to get some air. She breathed in the drenched Seattle dampness. The rain fell on her face, and she looked across the street. A
bus pulled up, screeched to a stop, and let the passengers on and off. She stared at the people in front of her. She took a deep breath and turned around. She knew the boys would be standing behind her when she did. She looked at Daniel.

“Where the hell has he been?” she asked, tears filling his eyes. “Rodney. He just abandoned us.”

As soon as she heard the words come out of her mouth, she knew it wasn’t true. Rodney would never abandon them. He would never have quit on them. She knew he was dead. Sam looked at her sympathetically. Daniel looked away, swallowing his emotions. Bailey saw the pain in his eyes.

Bailey stared at Daniel, her eyes demanding more answers, though her heart knew the truth. “How’d it happen?” she choked on the words as they hit the air.

“Liver cancer,” Daniel said, looking down. Daniel’s posture had worsened as he said the words. Bailey couldn’t hold in the harsh sobs that shook her body. “That’s why he was always on my case about drinking. It’s not the easiest thing to watch happen.”

Daniel finally looked at Bailey, a tear track on his face covered by the raindrops. “I’m sorry. He always told me he wanted to be the one to tell you about your dad, about everything. I didn’t want to disobey him.”

Daniel’s blind trust in Rodney was so uncharacteristic, yet so fitting for their relationship. Bailey looked at Daniel, her eyes still watering. Daniel continued, “You knew him. Rodney. He was the type of guy who thought of every option. I always assumed he had a plan. Maybe there would be a will with instructions on what to tell you, and when.” Daniel shrugged. “I’m sorry if that sounds dumb, but it was easier to keep you in the dark.”

“Did everyone else know? Except for me?” Bailey asked, and put her head in her hands in despair.

“Halene and I did,” Daniel explained. “Sam knew as much as you.”

Sam chewed on his lip and looked up at Bailey, guilty expression on his face. “I didn’t
know
anything. But I knew Rodney wouldn’t have abandoned us. He was pretty old; it made the most sense that he was—”

Bailey put her hand up, motioning for him to stop talking. She swallowed the bile that seemed to be rising in her throat. All the emotions that were rolling over her were making her physically ill.

“I spoke to Katherine, and she made me promise that after the France job, I’d fill you in. Then you were wounded and the China job came back around, so I decided to delay again. Then I got shot. It was a series of bad breaks and misunderstanding.”

Bailey and Sam saw Daniel’s weakness. He covered his inability to take true leadership with bravado. Rodney was the leader, and he was gone. Daniel had trouble stepping up. Bailey and Sam could see that Daniel was in a dilemma he couldn’t bullshit his way out of.

The overwhelming respect Daniel had for Rodney was apparent in his mourning. Daniel wasn’t the type of guy who respected anyone, so this meant a lot coming from him.

“He knew he was dying, so he trained Halene,” Bailey said. “Right?”

Sam reached for her hand, but she turned. She didn’t want to be touched. She pulled her arms around her as if to keep herself from falling apart. “If he knew, why didn’t he—”

“He probably thought he had a little more time than he did,” Daniel murmured. Daniel licked his lips nervously and looked at Bailey seriously. “I’m going to take you to him, to his grave and to meet his wife. Okay? Tomorrow?”

Bailey looked at Sam. At first, it looked as if she was asking permission. “What do you think?”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked skeptically. He was unable to read her in this moment.

“Should we go?”

Sam breathed out. “Yes, I think it’s important for you to say goodbye.” Sam ignored his own feeling about Rodney for the time being. He wanted to be there for Bailey. That was all that mattered to him. He knew Rodney and he cared for him, but this didn’t hit him in the same way it was hitting Bailey.

Bailey brought her hands up to her face, and she wiped the rain and tears away. “I can’t believe I never got to say good-bye.”

“Now you can,” Sam whispered.

twenty-three.

B
ailey leaned her head against the wall of the plane and looked out the window at the intermittent clouds and patches of land below. They’d been in the air for two hours and had three to go. She watched as the cloud mass turned dark and the gray rain clouds passed under the plane. Since the plane was high above the cloud layer, the sun shone brightly through the small window, into her eyes. She squinted at it.

She felt conflicting emotions. But the emotion that dwarfed all the others was deep and unrelenting sadness. She missed Rodney, immensely so. She had missed him for so long but had hoped one day she’d dream of him again. But now she knew her dreams were so much more than breaks between consciousness. She realized she would never see him again. She turned to Daniel, who had been sitting next to her for the flight. He had been quiet during most of the trip, which was unusual for him. Currently he was watching a movie on his tablet.

They were in Daniel’s family’s private plane. It was lush, expensive to fly, and represented everything Daniel was and wasn’t all at once. Daniel was sure to sit in the seat next to her, leaving Sam to sit in the row facing them. There were only four seats in the cabin of the jet: two on one side, the other two facing them. They were large and luxurious blue leather seats that had a memory foam pillow and soft blanket for each passenger.

“Since Rodney is…” she trailed off for a moment, and collected herself. She hadn’t brought herself to say it. “Gone.” Bailey rubbed her lips
together and cleared her throat to keep herself from crying any more. “What about his shadow self?”

Daniel pursed his lips. It seemed he was angry at Bailey for asking the question. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that.”

“Why?” Bailey responded. Sam’s head popped up. He was ready to jump in to the conversation if he needed.

“Because I don’t know what to tell you,” Daniel mumbled looking at his hands, so low Bailey couldn’t hear.

Bailey leaned in. “What?”

Daniel looked up at her, nervously licked his lips, took a deep breath, and looked at the ceiling to give him time to gather his thoughts. “Rodney’s shadow self might still be alive. I haven’t been able to keep track of him.”

“Really?” Bailey asked, her eyebrow rose skeptically.

“Honestly,” Daniel said, with a heavy sigh, “It was difficult and too painful. I didn’t want to know where he was. He isn’t the Rodney I worked with. He doesn’t have the memories, thoughts, or abilities that our Rodney had. He’s just the spitting image of him.”

“How long has this been going on?” Bailey asked, her emotions and curiosity bubbling up inside her once again. It seemed to be building like a volcano spinning up for an explosion. “This thing that supposedly nature created?”

“Years,” Daniel said matter-of-factly. “Centuries.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Sam asked, irritation in his voice.

Daniel clenched his teeth visibly. He looked to Sam slowly. Daniel didn’t respond; he glared. He wanted to let Sam know he was the one with the answers. Daniel needed Sam to know he would be the person directing the conversation, not Sam.

Daniel knew a lot more then he was letting on, that much was clear to Bailey. She didn’t know what it was about Daniel’s action that had given him away, exactly. It was a little bit of everything. How he bit his tongue, how he mentally crafted his response in a way that prevented him from responding immediately. His evasions were pronounced in the way he would mumble under his breath or how he wouldn’t always catch Bailey’s line of sight.

Maybe it was all of those things. All of the little things pushed together made Bailey realize he was hiding something from her. It drove her crazy. She wanted to call him out but knew that was the quickest way to chase him away. Daniel excelled in turning things around as an excuse or cover from engaging in real communication. She couldn’t push it, she realized. She needed to be delicate, but more than that, she needed Sam to use a softer touch with Daniel as well. Bailey knew it wasn’t going to be easy to convince Sam to go easy on Daniel. She looked between the two men who were still having a glaring contest. She decided to use a different tactic.