Authors: Unknown
Kate laughed outright at Maggie’s admission. “And why should you? Most women never have to, and that’s a good thing. Anyway, Jason and Tony traveled a bit, and for a couple of years we only saw one another on their infrequent visits home. It was on one of those visits that they discovered I was without a protector, had in fact given up that life for a quiet one of work. I’d saved enough money to open a small dress shop. They sought me out and the attraction I had always felt for both of them blossomed into love, and here we are.” She ended her story with a wide smile, her hands spread to indicate the beautiful home in front of them.
“Why did you marry Jason?” Maggie asked, interested in Kate’s story in spite of herself.
“We talked about it, and Jason has a title and estates that require a legitimate heir, Tony doesn’t. It was a mutual decision.”
“Yes, Phillip and Jonathan are the same,” Maggie murmured, remembering the early days of their courtship when she wasn’t sure who was courting her. Then suddenly, it became clear that Jonathan had stepped back. Had they made the decision then that Maggie should marry Phillip, and Jonathan could join them later? Was this their plan all along then?
She turned back to Kate.“And your families? How do they feel about it?”
For the first time Kate looked uncomfortable. “I have no family, except Veronica, and she willingly accepted it as long as I was happy. You can see Jason’s mother here for yourself, although it was a long road to acceptance. Tony’s family, well, we’ve not spoken to them since before the wedding.”
“Does he regret it, then?”
“No, for Jason and I and even Lady Randal and Veronica are his family now.” Kate paused, resting her hand on her stomach, and gazed speculatively at Maggie for a moment. She seemed to come to a decision and spoke again. “And soon we will have a baby to love as well.”
“Oh Kate, how marvelous!”Maggie exclaimed, grasping the other woman’s hands in joy. And she was happy for her, she realized. She knew that Kate had left much out of her story and could sense the other woman’s need for a home and love. She could see the happiness and contentment in her eyes and felt a wave of jealousy. Why couldn’t she be this strong, to defy the world for the love of two glorious men?
Kate gave her a knowing look. “You didn’t ask whose it is.”
Maggiestarted, her eyes wide. “Well, I…I didn’t think it mattered. Does it?”
Kate enfolded Maggie in a warm embrace. “No, my dear, it doesn’t. And the fact that you understand that means you understand everything, don’t you?”
Maggie clung to Kate. “Yes,” she whispered, “yes, I do. But I’m so afraid, Kate. I’m not strong like
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you. I don’t know if I can live with the censure of society. How can I know? How can I decide?”
Kate pulled back and looked at Maggie. “Only you can know, Maggie. Only you can decide. But do it soon. Those two men love you, and every day you deny them is like a dagger to their heart. You do know why they are like this, don’t you?”
Maggie nodded. “Yes, Phillip told me, a little anyway, about the war. He calls Jonathan his lifeline.”
“All the men here were changed by the war, Maggie. They all sought solace with each other in one way or another. They love one another, or they share their women. Do you understand?”
Maggie’s eyes widened yet again. Loved one another? Could men…? Well, of course they could, she thought. Just as Phillip frequently loved her from behind, as he said Jonathan would do if they shared her.
In such a fashion, men could love one another. A compelling thought entered her mind. Had Phillip and Jonathan loved one another?
Maggie gasped.“Everyone here? Oh God, that means they know what Phillip and Jonathan want!” Her hands rose to cover her hot cheeks.
Kate’s laughter rang out. “Of course, and they’re jealous as hell. They all hunger for a woman who can accept them as they are, Maggie. They envy Jason and Tony, and now Phillip and Jonathan. They long for love and acceptance like everyone else.”
“Kate? Maggie?” Tony’s voice interrupted them and they glanced up to see him peeking out the door.
“I’ve been sent to reconnoiter, as it were. Is everything all right?”
Maggie smiled at him and beckoned him over. He stepped out onto the terrace with a grin and hurried over, taking her hand and kissing it gently.
“Are you all right, my dear?” His concern touched Maggie.
“Oh yes, I’m fine.” She stood up and then rose on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “I believe felicitations are in order.”
Tony looked surprised and then got the universal smug look of every expectant father, as if he had achieved a great feat.
“Yes indeed. We’re very happy. But we haven’t told anyone yet, not even Lady Randal. Jason wanted to announce it tonight at dinner.”
“I shall keep your secret then,” Maggie announced firmly. She tucked her hand in the arm Tony offered as Kate did the same on his other side. “And I’m honored that you have shared yourselves with me.” She took a deep breath for courage, and looking at Tony and Kate’s encouraging smiles, muttered, “Let’s eat.”
Maggie spent the next day in her room again, although this time she was thinking about her conversation with Kate, not deliberately avoiding Phillip and Jonathan. She had a great deal to think about. Kate and
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Jason and Tony seemed very happy together. When they announced their good news after dinner last evening, everyone was overjoyed for them. Maggie could see what Kate meant when she’d told her that most of the men there were jealous. They looked sad and envious even as they kissed her cheek and slapped the two men on the back in congratulations. Jason’s mother cried,she was so happy to finally have a grandchild. No one asked who the father was because it obviously didn’t matter to any of them.
Most of the dinner guests had been reticent with Maggie, unsure of how to treat her and how much to say. They had clearly been told all was not well with the three of them and were torn between wanting to convince her to accept Phillip and Jonathan and treating her like the enemy for finding such a relationship abhorrent.
Only two people besides Kate had the temerity to speak plainly to her. One was Mr. Brett Haversham , a very sad-looking man with a pronounced limp, the result of a rather bad injury during the war. Even with the limp he was a handsome man, with curly auburn hair, angular features and a well-muscled physique. He was there with the Duke of Ashland, a young man who had inherited his title unexpectedly, being the third son. His older brother and Mr. Haversham were companions during the war, and the brother died in the same incident that had injured Haversham .
“So you’ve turned your back on Jonathan, have you?” he’d asked quietly in lieu of a greeting. She’d started to protest, but he’d held up his hand to silence her. “Let me finish. I’ve learned that life is indeed very short and often not what we expected. Live today as if it were your last. And each day ask yourself the question, if I or Jonathan or Phillip were to die tomorrow, would I regret never having loved them both? If you can honestly answer that question no, then you’re doing the right thing and no one can fault you for it. But if the answer is yes, then you must find the courage to listen to your heart.”
With those parting words he’d kissed her hand gently, murmured good evening and turned away.
Several people standing nearby had gone quiet and listened to his softly spoken words. As he and the Duke moved across the room, she saw the looks of censure they directed at her.
How odd it was!
Here
she was censured for not giving in to such a perverse passion, whereas in society she would be censured if she did. The disapproval of those sad, wounded men seemed harder to bear than that of the Lady Chestersons , however.
Was that what Kate had meant about not needing society? Maggie agreed with her that the approval of those men and women seemed far more important than the approval of the cold-hearted matrons of the ton. She would respect herself far more if the veterans in Kate’s drawing room respected her than if Lady Chesterson singled her out at the next ball.
The other person to speak openly to her about her dilemma was Kate’s niece Veronica, or as everyone called her, Very. She’d cornered Kate in the retiring room and burned her ears with a stern lecture. Only seventeen, she seemed to be far more mature than her years dictated.
“I can’t know what you’re thinking to be putting dear Jonathan and Phillip through such a thing!” she’d begun as soon as the door closed behind her. “I would give my right arm to have two such wonderful men love me, and here you are, throwing it away. Do you condemn Kate, then, for her marriage to Jason and Tony? Because that’s what itis, a marriage between the three of them. They love one another so much it makes my heart ache, for I don’t think I shall ever be loved like that. Very few people are. You are, and are wholly undeserving of it, I might add.”
She’d been pacing back and forth in front of the door, waving her arms wildly in her tirade, and had to stop here for breath. Arms akimbo, she simply stood and glared at Maggie.
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Maggie had sighed and, placing her hands on her knees,risen from the stool in front of the vanity where she’d been tucking a few stray curls up.
“If you’ve quite finished,” Maggie had told her calmly, “I’d like my say.” She stood in front of the obviously irate Veronica with her arms crossed, looking stern. “And my say begins with this is none of your business. By rights it is no one’s business here except mine, Phillip’s and Jonathan’s. But I will say this, if only to set your mind at rest—I do love them both. Your aunt made me see that. But I’m not sure I can live like that. A very natural fear,” she quickly added as Veronica opened her mouth to speak again. “This is a completely new experience for me and goes against everything I was taught about love and marriage. Pardon me for being unprepared. Now I suggest in future you mind your own business, as not everyone is as forgiving as I when it comes to bossy girls butting their noses in where they are not wanted.”
Maggie had started to walk past Veronica, stiff with outrage at her interference and at the suggestion that she was not good enough for Phillip and Jonathan. Suddenly Veronica’s hand shot out and stopped Maggie with a firm grip on her upper arm.
“I’m sorry,” she’d said quickly, and looking in her face, Maggie could see she meant it. “But you have to understand these menhere, they’re like family to me. They took Kate and me in when we were very low, and they’ve protected her, and for that I love them all. And I won’t see Kate or my uncles treated with disrespect. Their love is as pure as that of any man and wife, and I only hope one day to be loved like that. I shouldn’t have judged you, and I’m sorry.”
Maggie had patted her hand. “I forgive you, Veronica. But you must see that I’m trying to make a very difficult decision. I ask that
you
not judge
me
too harshly.”
Veronica had smiled at her tremulously. “I tend to do that too often, I’m told.” She’d put her arm through Maggie’s and led her back to the drawing room. “You’re really not a bad sort, I suppose,” she’d conceded with a smile, “just terribly misguided.”
Maggie smiled now at the memory. She quite liked Veronica, in her passionate defense of the men in her aunt’s life. Most of the gentlemen treated Very like a little sister. As a matter of fact, she had fought ferociously with one of them, a Lord Kensington, while several others had stood by and laughingly taken sides. A very passionate girl, indeed, if a little too indulged.
She’d been asking herself all day the question posed by Mr. Haversham , and the answer was consistently the same. She already regretted being too timid to follow her heart. What he hadn’t taken into account, however, was what she might regret two days from now, or a year from now, or ten years.
Then she might regret having loved them, having given up the approbation of family and society. She might regret, perhaps, not knowing who the father of each of her children was, precisely.
Then again, she might not. Maggie sighed. It was a neverending circle, all this thinking. She lay on the chaise in her darkened bedroom late in the afternoon and was attempting to rest quietly, fighting the headache that had been lurking all day.
As she drifted in and out of a restful sort of haze, only half sleeping, Maggie finally let herself think about what she’d been avoiding the last several days. Images of Phillip and Jonathan both loving her, the three of them naked and writhing in passion, floated through her head. She imagined all the ways they could fuck together, she riding Jonathan’s cock in her pussy while Phillip tunneled into her tight anus, or sucking Phillip’s marvelous cock while Jonathan fucked her hard and deep.
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Her breathing became irregular and her sex throbbed. She rolled onto herstomach, a pillow stuffed between her legs creating a tight pressure against the small nubbin of pleasure Phillip had introduced her to. As she daydreamed, she thrust her hips into the cushioned chaise, rubbing the pillow against her pulsing bud.
She was panting after a few minutes of delicious fantasizing but was becoming frustrated at her inability to come. Then an absolutely wicked image entered her mind. She imagined Phillip fucking Jonathan, the way he liked to fuck her, from behind. The two whispered roughly to one another, the same hot, forbidden words that she and Phillip whispered in the night. They kissed deeply, their tongues tangling around one another while Phillip rode Jonathan hard and deep.
In her daydream, Phillip came, slamming into Jonathan the way he did her, throwing his head back and emptying himself into Jonathan’s tight ass, and Jonathan came too, his seed spurting from his cock.