Who spoke like that? What man admitted such a thing?
Chelsea observed him seriously now, searching his honest face for some sign of deception and found none. What she saw was a man who truly did want her and, as he said, might never get enough of her.
How could she refuse?
“Yes,” she answered breathlessly.
He kissed the pulse point on her jaw, working his way back up to her mouth, which he sucked and nipped and sipped at, rousing her appetite for him once more just as the lights came back on in the elevator.
Two
Six weeks later…
The back of a hand cracked down hard across his temple and pain shot through his skull, sending another wave of nausea roiling in his gut. “That’s what following the wrong set of rules feels like,” his interrogator snarled.
Malicious laughter skittered from behind him. “Yeah, but you know what they say; ‘Once a SEAL, always a SEAL.’”
“Hmm…” the first man snorted. “Wrong side of the fence to play on, Carstens. And hey, you can’t blame us.” He fingered the selection of tools lined up on the table. “You were given an invitation, Christiaan. You just chose to ignore it.”
Tiaan couldn’t have known his mission wasn’t sanctioned by the US government. He had no way to determine that he was acting on the orders of a selfish bastard whose greed was larger than the man’s waistline. From the word ‘go’ the entire thing had been a set-up, and he was the scapegoat who had, unfortunately, survived.
On the surface his mission had appeared to be a simple one; stop the illegal sale of nuclear weapons and leave no survivors. He had wondered why his team was no included, but he kept that question to himself. Only when he saw the buyers were the enemy and the sellers were from the country he was sworn to protect and serve did Tiaan realise he had been set up. Too late for him to do anything, he had been captured.
Another blow cut across his skull and Tiaan shut down, forcing his mind to travel back to that night in a hotel in Vancouver…
Clutching the too-small towel around her luscious curves, the woman followed him down the corridor to his room. Tiaan fumbled with the key card, nerves attacking him now. In the lift, he had been in control – she was frightened and he had acted as a source of distraction. Now they were on a level playing ground. She had him anxious to taste her again, to feel himself inside her, so much so that he was unable to contain his desire for her.
No sooner were they inside the room and Tiaan grabbed the little spitfire, pushing her up to the wall where he held her hands high above her head. He watched the darkening of her irises, heard her breath hitch, felt her pulse take off. He then took her mouth roughly, finding her tongue with his.
He didn’t just want her – he needed this woman in a way that both terrified and further aroused him. It was that blind trust she put in him which caused his heart to swell.
It’s not love
, he reminded himself while pulling her tongue between his teeth.
Love isn’t real
.
Maybe not. But
lust
was real.
Need
was tangible.
“Yes,” she moaned, baring her throat as he moved down her jaw.
Damn, but she knew just how to spur him on. Tiaan’s thickening arousal strained at the fly of his jeans to the point of near pain. He needed to be inside of her again. First, he had to have her milk and honey taste on his tongue.
Scooping her into his arms, he carried her to the bed and tumbled down into its softness with her. Tiaan didn’t wait to appreciate this moment; he stripped her of her bikini and latched his mouth to that sensitive bud crowning her slick folds. She gasped, letting out an appreciative cry. Her fingers curled in the blankets on either side of her body, which arched high off the bed.
Tiaan lathed his tongue in slow, lazy circles, inhaling her scent and tasting her at his leisure until he himself could no longer wait. Seconds before she began to convulse, he thrust two fingers inside her core, making a come hither motion with them. She convulsed, strangled moans echoing in the room. Tiaan was shocked at how much it pleased him to bring her to release.
Making quick work of shedding his clothing, Tiaan joined her on the bed, lifting her limp body up and impaled her, filling her to the hilt. Need bubbled through him, like his blood had been replaced with a fizzy drink. Her inner muscles clenched him and Tiaan fought to keep himself from exploding beneath her.
She took the reins then, rocking her hips, hands moving up to brush lightly over the pebbled buds on her breasts, up past her throat, pausing at her lips, and finally stopping at her cinnamon curls which she fisted.
Fok, that is so damned sexy
, he thought, leaning up to take one of her breasts in his hand, the other with his mouth. Her movements stuttered and she made an appreciative sound low in her throat.
Holding her close, Tiaan took over, pushing deep into her, his own movements growing near frantic until she threw her head back and cried out, and then he lost himself in her…
The sensitive flesh being torn from his chest with some unknown instrument dragged Tiaan out of the wonderful memory he had been lost in. The pain of torture caused everything to grow dark. His stomach churned and emptied itself.
Everything went black.
~~~
This room stank of torture. Brackish with the scent of fear and burnt flesh. A metallic note hung heavy in the air. Blood – his blood – decorated the walls in differing patterns. A slash of reddish brown, dried on the concrete wall to his right. A fine mist had fallen, confetti-like, decorating the floor below.
Through swollen eyelids, he waited for the room to come into focus. Across from the chair he was bound to with thick wires that cut through his flesh, he saw the large door through which the enemy came to him.
The now familiar backdrop to everything he knew was just another in a long list of reminders that Christiaan Carstens had nothing and no one left.
His minded drifted back…how long ago was it now since he had been with that angel?
Time didn’t carry any weight with him now. Day and night were the same thing in this room, devoid of natural light and air.
Three months?
Four?
Or perhaps even more than that?
Best night of my life
, he mused, sliding his dry tongue over his cracked lips in a vain attempt to soothe them.
Tiaan recalled every inch of her lush form and how she felt to his touch. Where he was firm, she was soft and pliant beneath his hands. Cinnamon curls like silk, cascading over her cheeks, past her chin, to touch down on her shoulders. Amber eyes bearing so much honesty and trust.
Sweet, lovely woman.
What was her name?
He couldn’t recall. His mind was a mess and in truth, he wanted to die. If there was a God, he was a cruel bastard for allowing Tiaan to continue to survive this torture.
The door swung open and a massive shadow shuffled through it. Tiaan knew in an instant who this visitor was and he also knew these next moments would be his last. His captors had kept him alive just long enough for this moment to come to pass.
“Well, well, well… Lookey at who I’ve got here.”
Tiaan forced his head up and, through some sheer force of will alone, gathered enough moisture in his mouth to spit it out at the Texan. The metallic taste in his mouth told him there had been blood. Good. He couldn’t see it, but he was certain he’s stained the fat bastard’s suit – he always wore white, which served to make him look even more rotund.
“You’re not makin’ it out of this room alive, Carstens,” Senator Reynolds announced, malice weaved in his words. “I am your judge, your jury, and your executioner.”
“Then get it over with, you piece of shit coward!”
“Well now, I have to make sure you didn’t tell anyone else about this mission before then, don’t I?” The large man swung his beefy fist, hitting Tiaan in the cheek. He felt the bones that had just begun healing crack again but resisted the urge to scream. “When I’m satisfied with the answers you give me, then I’ll give you the death you so desire now.”
Mercifully, Reynolds left the room then, just as Tiaan was beginning to lose consciousness.
~~~
An explosive charge dragged Tiaan back to life. Through sheer force of will, he managed to open his eyes wide enough to see the lights above flickering out. Shrouded in darkness, he could do little more than sit and wait, still bound to this chair. He learned early on not to struggle against his bindings – the wires cut deeper into his flesh the more he did. If he didn’t perish from infection, it would be a bloody miracle.
Voices shouted out to each other in a code he knew well.
His head fell to his chest again. Tiaan hadn’t the strength to hold his head up, let alone focus on what they were saying.
“Carstens!”
He heard that, someone calling out his name. That voice, so deep and gruff.
Familiar.
“I’ve got him, boys!”
Something snapped through his body and his arms suddenly felt like they were floating up to the heavens above. Perhaps these voices belonged to angels and his prayers for death had finally been answered.
Because Mackenzie Dunlop couldn’t possibly be here – wherever here was…
Three
A few months later…
The sooner he got out of this bloody courtroom, the better. In fact, this entire hearing was a damned circus. A fool’s mockery of his exemplary service record. Christiaan had been forced to sit through almost four hours of one man’s demonstration of how he had committed treason and needed to be executed as an enemy of the United States. All because he refused to die when it was convenient for the corpulent Texas Senator sitting across from him, looking like he himself might drop dead from heart failure at any minute now.
Senator Reynolds’ latest bought-off man finished giving his testimony, full of lies. The committee couldn’t possibly believe any of it. He swept his gaze over the men and women sitting before him, noting the smug look of satisfaction on Reynolds’ face as he read over his testimony. Or rather, documented pile of bullshit and lies.
Suddenly, Tiaan just exploded, interrupting the Senator’s speech. Reynolds had just said something about how he couldn’t know exactly what went on in these war zones and it snapped the last shred of patience inside him.
“This is the problem though, isn’t it? You haven’t got a goddamned clue what goes on out there. You people just sit here at your desks, safe and sound on American soil while guys like me are out there risking our lives. If I had never carried out the task I was bloody well
sworn
to perform, there might be a
foking
nuke in enemy hands right now!”
“Lieutenant Colonel Carstens, watch your language!”
Tiaan’s lips twitched as he fought to keep the scowl from forming. Just looking at the man across from him was hard enough. “You want me to watch my language, Senator Reynolds? Perhaps remain tight lipped? Is that before or after you deny being present at the attempted sale of that nuke? Or are you referring to the fact that you were the one who ordered my extensive torture eight months ago?”
Reynolds spluttered his water, sending a fine mist across the desk. “You’ve got some nerve, boy, making accusations like that without any proof–”
“Proof? You want proof?” Tiaan shoved his chair back, pulling out the concealed file that he’d tucked in the back of his dress uniform. “This file contains your god-damned signature on a series of commands to extract information from me by, and I quote, ‘whatever means necessary.’ Do you know precisely what that entails, you son of a bitch?”
Tiaan ignored the white haired man’s red-faced stare and open-mouthed gawk as he shoved off his jacket and tore the buttons from his shirt. The fabric parted, he gave the committee an eyeful of what Reynolds and his bastard dogs did to him. Shock was exactly what he wanted and that’s what he got. The rest of the panel members needed to see what this U.S. Senator ordered done to a man who gave everything he had to serve a country he wasn’t even born in.
“This isn’t even half of it. Do you see? See what that man ordered his lapdogs to do? I gave up everything I am, my heritage, my identity, to serve these United States. I put my god-damned life on the line and do whatever I’m asked to do, without question. That only makes this hearing all the more bloody ridiculous!”
Finally, he had the bastard right where he wanted him. Senator Reynolds possessed the edge of a man who wanted to disappear and fast. But a man cannot hide from his destiny. No matter how many people he killed to reach the top, the fall back down to the bottom was far and filled with the regrets of one’s past. Maybe he shouldn’t have underestimated the men and women who served this country; those people who gave everything they were to make their fellow Americans proud.
The second he was cleared of the false charges and given permission to, Christiaan fled that bloody courthouse and escaped from the confining building. He ended up on the front steps, just in time for bright sunlight to peek out from behind a thick cloud. To feel the sun on his skin right now was a damned relief. He revelled in it, wishing he had his feet planted on a board as he rode the surf.
Somewhere. Anywhere.
Hell, maybe even back home.
No, South Africa was out of the question and he knew it. The deeds he did for the U.S. government made returning to African soil impossible. And the way they
made
him denounce his citizenship…
Before he could recite the first three words of the Pledge of Allegiance, Tiaan’s phone was out of his pocket and in his hand. The name Mackenzie Dunlop flashed in his mind and a smile curled the corners of his mouth. It would be nice to visit his friendly neighbour to the north, get away from everything for a while. Six months of paid vacation began right now and he couldn’t think of a better place to kick it off than with a man he admired and trusted. Not to mention his wife’s cooking.
Tiaan pressed a hand to his abdomen in anticipation. When the hell had he enjoyed a truly fantastic and home cooked meal last? He couldn’t recall, but most likely, it was the last time he’d made it up to their place. Had it been a year already? Mm-hmm. He’d stayed at that hotel downtown and run into the most beautiful woman in the elevator. Oh Christ, what he’d give to feel her beneath him again. What was her name? He scrolled through his contacts while he thought. Nah, it didn’t come to him.
For now, that thought was pushed aside and he dialled Mac’s number. The man answered on the third ring and the sound of babbling came across before his growled ‘hello’.
Tiaan chuckled. “Fatherhood sounds like it suits you, Dunlop.”
“Jesus, Carstens! Hang on a sec. Kayla, take Erik, will you?” His teenaged daughter’s muffled reply came through the line. “Right, hell, where are you? And
how
the hell are you? I haven’t heard from you since…”
Mackenzie didn’t need to say the words. Tiaan knew the only reason he was alive now was because Mac had come to his rescue. Yet again. The man was always saving him.
A giant American flag billowed in the wind above him and for a minute, his heart constricted. Now he knew how Mac felt, being betrayed by the country he served. “I’m in Washington, but not for much longer. Thought I might head up your way for a little while, spend some time away from…everything here.
How
am I? Well, Reynolds is fried and I’m off the hook, thank God – and thank you, of course.”
“Ah…don’t bother. I just got you some information.”
“You did a hell of a lot more than that,” Tiaan reminded his friend in a low, choked voice.
Grumbling something incoherent, Mac changed the subject. “So, what are you waiting for? Get yourself up here! And no need to stay in a hotel this time, Hannah insists you stay with us. I finally finished the extension on the house, so there’s plenty of room.”
It would be good to see his family again. “Alright, you made my mind up for me. I’ll see you soon, my friend.”
“Can’t wait.” Mac’s rough laughter ended the call.
Tiaan caught a cab home and packed a few things before shutting down the water and power in his small studio apartment. Once he’d locked up, he headed straight for the airport and booked himself on the next flight out to Vancouver. He made it through security, found his gate and dropped onto a chair closest to the desk to wait. Only three and a half hours until his flight and he could use the rest.
Before closing his eyes, he sent Mac a text with his travel information to let his friend know he was on his way, then he set an alarm on his phone and tucked it back in his pocket. Eyes closed, arms crossed and head resting on the wall behind him, Tiaan couldn’t seem to find sleep. Instead, he pictured that woman from the elevator, dripping wet from the pool in that scandalously tiny golden brown bikini. The blessed thing hardly contained her generous curves and he recalled each one.
Why couldn’t he remember her name? Her sassy, shoulder-length cinnamon curls stuck in his mind, as did her wide, green-blue eyes, small but full mouth, and even her pert little nose. Hell, he could see her rose-tipped nipples when he closed his eyes, smell her milk and honey scent, he even remembered how she tasted as he speared his tongue inside her, right there in the lift…
Shit
.
Great
.
Now here he was, stuck sitting in this uncomfortable chair, hard as a bloody rock, and wide awake. Tiaan felt his phone beginning to vibrate and ripped it from his jeans pocket before any further damage was done. The last woman he’d been with and he couldn’t bloody well remember her name. Maybe he suffered a different kind of permanent damage from those interrogations Reynolds ordered and the name was knocked out of his brain.
The text was from Mac, saying either he or Hannah’s friend would get Tiaan from the airport. He had to laugh, knowing it was most likely Hannah’s orders. The woman was nine years his junior and she acted every bit the role of a mother hen. She probably thought he would sneak off to a hotel and she got that right. Invading people’s personal lives never felt comfortable to him, nor did the happy family thing. He didn’t know what that was like, so when he was around it, he became restless and uncomfortable.
Unsure of how to act.
If he’d been given an example, Tiaan might have had an idea. Unfortunately, his parent’s marriage was tumultuous, if he had to choose a word to describe it. And that was at the best of times.
Others? It was a damned wonder they hadn’t bloody well killed each other. He was still convinced that the pair of them had been arguing when they had the accident that took their lives, six days shy of his eighteenth birthday. They always argued and his mother had a penchant for grabbing his dad’s arm when she tried to make him see her point.
He could still picture it in his mind, the scrambled mess of twisted metal. Thick, crimson blood marking the light grey seats, splattered on the windows, crusted to the dash and steering wheel. The moment that police officer obliged him and allowed Tiaan to collect the last remnants of his family from the car, he promised himself he’d never get married.
The flight announced over the loud speakers, he rose from his chair and simultaneously switched off his phone, trudging over to show his ticket and board. Luckily, he slept during the flight and woke up when they landed. Sleep had eluded him lately and when he did drop off, he never seemed to get enough. Perhaps now that Reynolds was no longer in a position of power, he could rest a little easier knowing no one else would have to suffer like he did at the hands of that…well, even thinking the series of cruel words sounded harsh to him.
Once he collected his luggage, Tiaan switched on his phone and saw a text from Mac, telling him that he’d sent Hannah’s friend to pick him up as Erik needed a bath and Hannah was at her foundation. He had to laugh at his old friend’s newfound parenthood. If anyone asked him, he’d never have thought Mackenzie would get married and have kids. At least he’d found himself someone like Hannah. Someone who damned well understood.
“Alright,” Tiaan sighed, heading out towards the exit. He had no idea what this friend’s name was or what he or she looked like. Scanning the idlers who were looking in his direction, Tiaan spotted a woman holding a piece of paper with his surname written on it and he chuckled.
Good old Mac.
Always prepared.
Always reliable.
~~~
Using her hand as a visor from the sun, Chelsea Reid continued searching for a man who matched the description Mackenzie gave her. A tall guy was approaching her and for a moment, panic filled her. No, it couldn’t be. That man looked an awful lot like–
“I take it you are here to pick me up?”
Son of a…
She gulped, forcing back the foul taste.
Gun.
Swallowing down the urge to heave up her lunch, Chelsea gripped the fabric of her floral tunic, clutching it to her stomach. Of all the people she could have been picking up from the airport today, it had to be
him
. ‘South African elevator guy’, as she had come to call him. At least now he had a name.
“Erm, I haven’t gotten it wrong, have I? Or, are you waiting for someone else with the name Carstens?” His dark eyes searched hers through her sunglasses.
He doesn’t even recognize me
. Her heart began freefalling, dropping into her stomach. Of course he wouldn’t, why would he? She was probably just another girl he had a one-time thing with. A long list of countless sexual partners. The very thought of it curdled the contents of her stomach. Everything that happened that night, everything he said, it was all a lie.
“Hello?”
Sweet Mother. She’d just been standing there while he asked her questions. “Uh, n-no, you’re um, Christiaan, right?”
The corners of his mouth pulled back, a mouth that had been on parts of her body that were covered with clothing at the moment. “I am, but I go by Tiaan. Looks like we’ve settled that mystery. Now, where are you parked?”
She couldn’t look at him anymore. Too many emotions tore through her and she had to think of alternate living arrangements now. If Tiaan, as he finally announced, was staying with Mac and Hannah for an undisclosed amount of time, no way in hell could Chelsea continue living there too.
“This way.” She didn’t check to see if he followed as she crossed the street and entered the parking structure.
When they reached her car, Chelsea’s stomach turned over, realizing there was a car seat in the back. Surely he’d notice it and wonder?
No
, she scolded herself,
he doesn’t even remember, so stop worrying
. Besides, Mac and Hannah had Erik, so he would probably think the car seat belonged to them. She popped the trunk and he stowed his luggage away, then they both climbed into her small and old, yet reliable vehicle.