It Was Us (4 page)

EIGHT

WEST

I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder and trudged up the stairs to my apartment. It was almost dark, the cloudy sky streaked red and purple, the sun tucked behind the Pacific. I breathed in the cool, salty air and felt my body almost immediately relax. I'd spent the last three days in Las Vegas, a three-game series at UNLV. It had been hot and dry and miserable and, even though we'd won two out of three, all I'd wanted to do was get on the plane and come back home.

I shoved the key in the doorknob and pushed the door open to a darkened apartment. I didn't expect Griffin to be there. He'd gotten a job as a bartender down in South Mission and it seemed like days would go by before our paths would cross.

I dropped the duffel bag on the floor and picked up a stack of mail Griffin had left on the table.

“Hi.”

I looked up, surprised. Abby stood in the hallway, her arms folded across her chest. The pile of envelopes fluttered to the floor as I crossed the short distance between us and wrapped her in a hug. I wasn't surprised to see her. I mean, I was, because I didn't know she'd be there. But she had a key. She let herself in all the time.

Her hair was pulled back, her neck exposed and I nuzzled her gently, inhaling the scent of soap and shampoo. It had been four days since I'd seen her and I fucking missed her.

“What are you doing here?” I murmured against her skin.

“Surprising you,” she said. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” I whispered, moving my lips from her neck to her jaw, trailing a steady stream of kisses.

She turned her head toward me and I captured her lips with mine, my mouth moving hungrily against hers. She sighed softly and wrapped her arms around my neck and fitted herself against me. I felt my body respond instantly and I thrust my tongue into her mouth, my hands running the length of her body.

She pulled her mouth away from mine. “This is quite a welcome.”

“Oh, I've got more,” I told her. I kissed her again, walking her backwards toward my bedroom. “Trust me.”

“West, wait...”

But I couldn't. I was tired as shit and all I'd wanted to do when I got home was collapse into bed. But seeing her and touching her had ignited every nerve inside of me and I was desperate to feel her, to have her.

“No,” I said. I kicked open my bedroom door and lowered her down on my bed. She sank into the comforter and I followed, my hands never leaving her. “I've waited for days. I'm done waiting.”

She didn't argue, not when I pulled the blue camisole she wore up and over her head, and not when I unclasped her lacy white bra. I tugged at the waistband of her denim shorts, my thumb and forefinger working the button open and the zipper down. She lifted her hips and I slid them off, then reached back up to pull her panties off, too. I hovered over her, still fully clothed, staring down at her. It was dark in my room, the blinds cracked open just enough to cast shadows across the walls and against the bed, but my eyes had adjusted to the lack of light and I could see Abby with perfect clarity. Her hair spread out around her, her eyes half-lidded, her body trembling just a little, her arms reaching out for me, her hands lifting my shirt so she could run her hands across my skin. She was beautiful and she was mine and I couldn't wait to fuck her.

I reached up, yanked off my shirt and tossed it to the floor. I kicked off my shorts and positioned myself between her legs and she moaned and pulled me toward her. Into her. And suddenly nothing in the world existed but me and her and the way our bodies fit together. Her fingernails dug into my skin like needles on my shoulders and I moved faster, harder until we were both gasping for breath.

I collapsed on top of her, exhausted. She held me to her chest, her own heart thumping as hard as mine. I kissed her jaw and she stroked my hair, her breathing slowly evening out.

“I missed you,” I said, my voice low. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Her fingers closed on a lock of my hair and she tightened her grip just a little. “I missed you, too.”

I tried to raise myself up but I couldn't. I was too tired, emotionally and physically spent.

“You can rest,” she said. She shifted just a little so that she wasn't bearing the full brunt of my weight.

I snuggled into her, the feel of her warm, slick skin the best sort of blanket. I slipped my arm underneath her, pulled her as close to me as I could and closed my eyes. I wanted to fall asleep with her wrapped up next to me and I wanted to wake up in the morning with my arms still around her, a sleepy disheveled mess. I wanted to push up against her in the morning, sleep still clouding my brain, and slip inside of her before we were both fully awake.

“I'm glad you're here,” I said.

“Me, too.”

“Thank you for surprising me.” I rubbed her arm. “For being here.”

“I wanted to,” she said. “I needed to.”

“Yeah?” I opened an eye. “You missed me?”

She nodded but I saw something flicker in her expression. “Yes.”

I opened the other eye. “You did, right?”

She nodded again but there was something off about how she was looking at me, something that wasn't right.

I shifted so I was propped up on one elbow. “Are you okay?” I asked.

Another nod.

“What's wrong?”

Silence. She wouldn't look at me.

“Abby.”

“I...” she started then paused. “I don't know.”

“Is it your mom?” My radar went on full alert. “Is everything okay?”

“No, she's fine,” she said quickly. “I mean, as far as I know she's okay.”

“Okay. So...what? Something about school? Work?”

She shook her head.

“I'm running out of guesses here.”

She pressed her lips together. Her eyes were suddenly wet and I felt my stomach clench up in knots.

“What the fuck is wrong, Abby?”

“I...I think I might be pregnant.”

NINE

ABBY

I didn't have to wait long for the onslaught of questions. Because West was suddenly upright, his eyes wide with shock as he stared down at me.

“What??”

I reached for the comforter and tried to tug it over me. But we'd fallen on top of it when he'd pushed me into his room and there was nothing to cover up with. And nowhere to hide.

“What did you just say?” he repeated.

“I...I'm late.”

“What's late? Your period?”

I nodded.

He ran his hand through his hair. “Okay. So, you're late. That's happened before, right?”

It had. I usually had a perfect 28 day cycle, but there had been a couple of times where I'd started a day late. And even though we always used protection—I'd gone on birth control pills almost immediately after we'd started going out and had stayed on them ever since—it still managed to freak me out if it didn't show up like clockwork.

“You're sure?”

“Yeah.”

“How late?”

“Five days. I think.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. “But you were sick. And you haven't felt right ever since. So maybe your body is just a little fucked up, you know?”

It was a possibility I'd considered for the last five days. I'd known when he left for the series that I was late, the aching dread flaring even more with each passing day. But I hadn't wanted to tell him before he hopped on a plane to Las Vegas. I didn't want him to worry, didn't want him to obsess the way I was obsessing.

As if on cue, he asked, “Why didn't you tell me before?”

I didn't have a good answer for him. “I didn't want to bother you. Worry you.”

“You're my girlfriend, Abby. You're supposed to tell me things. Everything. Remember? No more hiding shit and keeping stuff to yourself.”

I swallowed hard. I knew what he was referring to. The previous summer, when I'd found about Mom's cancer.

“I wasn't hiding it,” I said.

“Well, you didn't exactly have it out in the open.” He shook his head. “Have you tested?”

I hesitated. “No.”

He stared at me, his eyes wide. “Why not?”

“I don't know.” I didn't want to tell him out loud that I was afraid to test. I didn't want to admit that I somehow hoped that, if I didn't think about it and didn't voice anything out loud, the situation would go away and my period would magically come and everything would be okay.

“Jesus.”

I felt the sting of tears. “Please don't be an asshole about this.”

“I'm not trying to be. I swear.” He put his hand on my thigh. “But you've spent—what?—five days worrying about something that isn't a definite. Why the hell wouldn't you just test?”

“I don't know. Maybe I wanted you here. And you were a state away, playing baseball.” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. His brow furrowed and the muscle in his jaw worked again, his lips pressing into a thin, tight line.

“Fair enough,” he said shortly.

“I'm sorry,” I said. “That wasn't fair at all.”

He stood up and reached for the basketball shorts he'd dropped to the floor. He pulled them on and opened a dresser drawer and fished out a clean t-shirt.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “Where are you going?”

He stooped down and found my clothes and tossed them on to the bed. “I'm not going anywhere.
We
are going.”

I stared at him. “Going where?”

“To the store. To get a goddamn test.”

TEN

WEST

Abby was quiet as we walked down the stairs and toward the car. The streetlights buzzed as we crossed the alley, their light a sickly yellow against the black sky. A dog barked off in the distance and a car alarm blared in response. And I barely heard either of them.

I opened the passenger door to the truck and she climbed into the cab. I joined her, jammed the key in the ignition and drove the four blocks to the CVS on the corner of Garnet.

“You want me to go in here?” she asked when we pulled into the parking lot.

“Why not?”

She looked around. “What if I know someone?”

“So?” I stared at her. “It's not like we're fourteen.”

Her hands were folded in her lap and I saw she was trembling. “I know,” she said.

“You want me to go in by myself and get one?”

“No,” she snapped.

I hopped out and she scrambled out before I could make my way to her side of the truck. My mind was racing, a million thoughts jumbled on top of each other as I walked through the automatic doors. Abby trailed behind me, clutching her purse next to her. A Hispanic guy was stocking boxes of toothpaste and an elderly couple had a shopping cart full of stuff. Other than them, we appeared to be the only two people in the store. I scanned the signs suspended from the ceiling, looking for the right aisle. We turned down the personal care aisle and stopped in front of shelves filled with condoms and pregnancy tests. Abby stood next to me, stone-faced, making no move to grab anything.

I sighed. “Guess I'm picking it out.”

She glared at me. “Why are you being such an asshole?” she hissed.

I held up my hands. “What exactly am I doing that is asshole behavior? You tell me you think you're pregnant. We're getting a test. Seems pretty damn responsible to me. Not asshole-ish.”

“You're just...” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. “You're like on auto-pilot. Like some robot who doesn't give a shit. Like the only thing you want is an answer. A fucking yes or no.”

“Well, I do.” I fingered the keys I was holding. “I mean, you tell me you're five days late. Other than that, we've got nothing. Last I heard, you were on the pill.”

Her eyes widened and her gaze turned murderous. “I still am.”

“So isn't it like ninety-nine percent effective?”

“Yeah, well, that leaves a one percent chance, doesn't it?” She put her hands on her hips, her back ramrod straight, like she was preparing for a fight. “Doesn't it?”

“I guess.” I didn't want to fight. I was so messed up in the head, I could barely think straight. I grabbed a thin white and blue box from one of the shelves. “This one work?”

“How the hell would I know?” She adjusted the purse slung over her shoulder and crossed her arms. “It's not like I've ever bought one before.”

“Uh, me either.” I studied the packaging. It promised accurate test results as soon as the day of a missed period. And there were two tests. I was pretty sure Abby wouldn't mess up peeing on a stick but a quick glance at the shelf indicated most of the packages had multiple tests included inside.

I turned to look at her. “You ready?”

“I'm not taking the test here!”

“I know that. Let's pay and go home and figure out exactly what we're dealing with here.”

I made my way to the front of the store and plopped the test down on the counter. A different employee, a woman I pegged in her early forties, scanned the test and dropped it in a small plastic bag. She said nothing, just held out her hand for the twenty I pulled from my wallet. I pocketed the change and the receipt and grabbed the bag. Abby stood next to me, staring at some magazine cover in the rack next to the cash register.

“All set?” I asked.

She looked up. Her eyes were dark, her mouth pinched, and I felt a wave of something roll through me. I'd been in full-on freak out mode, going on auto-pilot just like Abby had accused me of doing. I hadn't noticed the worry etched into her features, the fear lurking behind her eyes. I was numb from shock. But Abby? She looked absolutely terrified.

“Hey,” I said, gentling my voice. “It's just a test. We just need to do this one step at a time. Okay?”

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded.

I brushed away a stray tear with my thumb. “We're gonna get through this, Abs. One way or another. I promise.”