"Blaize?"
"Hmm?" He didn't look from his textbook.
"Do you like this blue tank top or should I go with the fuchsia?"
He glanced at her. His dark hair, still damp from his shower, fell into his eyes and he brushed it away. "I dunno. Why don't you wear a T-shirt, or a sweatshirt or something?"
"What's wrong with tanks?"
He looked up again and thought of how the tank showed off her chest, but he just shrugged. "I dunno."
"Blaize, you're no help. I just think that the blue is sort of plain."
"It looks fine," he said, not looking.
"Well, I like the fuchsia better."
She proceeded to pull the blue tank off without him noticing and freaking out the way he usually freaked out when her body became exposed.
She pulled on the fuchsia. He noticed. "Don't you think it's a little ... bright?"
She looked in the mirror. "It's colorful."
He shrugged.
"You don't like it?"
"No, no, it looks nice."
"Can I wear this?"
He looked up, but she wasn't on her side of the room anymore. She was suddenly halfway into his own closet, holding one of his zip hoodies. "Why?"
"Because I like it."
"Won't it not match or something?"
She gave him an amused look. "Riiight, because you know how to color coordinate."
She pulled it on. "See? May I, pleasssse?"
"Yeah sure, I don't care."
Jaide suddenly gasped. "Oh! I forgot someone was calling you. I looked at your phone. I hope you don't mind. It was Calvin. He called three times."
Blaize blanched and shot to his feet, knocking over and spilling his freshly packed backpack. "Calvin called! When?"
"While you were in the shower."
He spotted the phone on his bed, flipped it open and pressed a couple buttons before putting the phone to his ear.
Jaide sensed something seemed really wrong.
"Calvin? What’s up?" As Blaize listened, he became very still. He replied in a strained voice, "Ok ... I'm coming over there." He slammed the phone shut and grabbed his keys and wallet from his desk.
Jaide started to ask, but her "Blaize... " was cut short. He threw off the hand that she placed on his arm. She stepped back but then grabbed his arm again, firmly this time. "Where are you going?"
He left without another word, slamming the door.
She scooted across the hall to Chance and Matt's room and knocked. Chance answered the door, shirtless. Jaide ignored the toned body in front of her and spouted, “Blaize has some kind of trouble, I think.”
"Hey, I heard your door slam. Any idea what’s wrong?"
"Yeah, Blaize got a phone call from someone named Calvin and then got all, like, angry. I don't even know. He stormed out with his truck keys and he told the person that he was coming."
Chance spoke over his shoulder at Matt. "Do we know a Calvin?"
Matt thought for a moment. "Hey, isn't that Blaize's hospital contact? You know, the guy who lets him sneak into the hospital after visiting hours? He's an X-ray tech or something."
Chance motioned Jaide into the room and quickly pulled on a shirt. He opened his phone. "I'll try to call him."
The next few seconds passed like hours. Finally, Chance said, “Blaize doesn’t answer. Jaide, you said he was really disturbed?”
"Yeah ... really upset. Turned pale, too."
Chance and Matt looked at each other knowingly. "It makes me wonder if something happened to Madison."
Jaide frowned. "What could have happened to her?"
"I don't know." Chance grabbed his keys. "Let's go find out. Matt, will you tell the guys what's going on? We're gonna head over to the hospital."
"Sure thing. Call when you find something out."
"Let’s hurry." They jogged out of the building and to his truck in the parking lot. Chance drove fast and in silence. When they reached the hospital, they saw Blaize's truck parked in a handicap spot near the entrance.
Jaide spoke quickly and incisively. "Chance, you should go back to school. The fewer people miss class
and
maybe practice, the better. I can handle Blaize. If there is something wrong, I think the fewer people, the better. I mean, better for Blaize."
Chance still sat behind the steering wheel. He nodded agreement. "I think that is a good idea. You guys are close. Go up to the third floor. It’s long-term care, and that's where he'd be if this is about Madison. I'm gonna move his truck so he doesn't get a ticket. He keeps a spare key in the center console, just in case."
She nodded and got out of the truck.
Chance leaned out the window. “Call me if you need back up or anything, ok?"
She nodded before heading into the hospital double doors. Once inside, she found herself in a sterile white and blue lobby. She spotted an elevator and got into it. The third floor greeted her with a large white sign that said Long Term Care Unit. The hallways seemed mostly empty. She inexplicably hated everything about how clean and white the place was.
She spotted a young man in scrubs and headed toward him. When she got closer, she noticed how stressed he looked, a face mask down around his neck. He carried a large, metal framed X-ray negative.
"Excuse me. I'm looking for a friend."
The young man looked at her with an irritated, vacant look in his eyes.
"He's umm, tall with dark hair. His name is Blaize. I think he's up here some -"
"Are you his girlfriend or something? I really don't think that he wants you around right now."
She was taken aback by how rude the guy was. She was also guessing this was Calvin. "I'm not his girlfriend. I'm just a friend, a concerned friend. Can you just tell me where he is?"
"So, you're not like his sex buddy or something?"
"No! I'm his roommate!"
The man still didn't seem to believe her. "Whatever, Room 342." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Get him out of there, if you can. The doctors need to put a patient in there."
She was confused. "What do you mean? Isn't he visiting someone?"
The man frowned. "You know about her, then?"
"Yeah, Madison. That’s who he's visiting, right?"
"Not exactly ..."
"What do you mean?"
The man hesitated, looked over his shoulder and down the hall. He whispered, “Last night they disconnected her. She's gone. They took her body away before dawn.”
Jaide felt her jaw drop. "No one warned him?"
"I wasn't here. I'm the only one that contacts him. I called him as soon as I found out. Listen, he needs to get out of there, I could get into a lot of trouble if ..."
She didn't stick around for the rest. She rushed down the hall until she came to room 342. She opened the door slowly. The room was all white, the only color in the form of pale blue sheets on the empty bed.
Blaize sat on the only chair in the room. He was facing the bed, but his head was in his hands. He was completely silent and unmoving.
"Blaize?"
No answer. He didn’t move a muscle.
"It's me, Jaide."
She waited a good ten minutes in silence, but still no motion came from him.
"Blaize," she said again, and crossed the room to put a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't we get you out of here? This place in depressing. Hospital environments always are."
He didn't answer for a couple minutes but when he did, he still didn't look up, or even appear to move a muscle. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." He said it so quietly that she barely heard him.
She rubbed his shoulder soothingly, not sure what to do or say. "I know. Let’s get out of here, though. This place isn't helping you. I'll drive you back to school and we can talk ... or not talk, whatever you want." She pulled him up out of his seat and he didn't resist. His face was completely void of emotion except for his eyes, which looked so sad it made her want to cry. She really wanted to give him a hug but she was guessing that wasn't the best idea.
She led him out of the room and out of the hospital, never letting go of his arm because she had the feeling that he wasn't paying attention to where he was going. She urged him into the passenger seat of his truck before getting herself into the driver’s seat. She had to adjust his seat so that she could push the clutch all the way in, absently registering that it was a manual transmission and she hadn't driven one in a while. She started the truck with the spare key that Chance had told her about.
Blaize didn't buckle up or say anything. He just sat looking straight out of the windshield.
"It'll be ok, Blaize. You can say your goodbyes at the funeral."
"They're not going to have a funeral."
"Oh. Well, you can visit the cemetery."
"No grave. They gave her body to science. Stupid fuckers were too cheap to give her a proper ceremony. That's the only reason they let her go. Media attention is gone, too expensive to keep her on the machines. They never cared about her." His voice was scary. It had absolutely no feeling behind it, even though he was saying angry words.
"I'm really sorry, Blaize. That’s wrong. If there is anything I can do, just tell me, ok?"
He didn't answer, just looked straight ahead.
They reached the school parking lot and she turned the truck off, but neither of them made a move to get out. "Do you want to talk?"
He shook his head and she was grateful for the response.
"You should go to class," he said.
"Nah, I'll get notes later."
"You already missed first period. You can't go to practice."
"I know, neither can you."
The silence stretched out for a few minutes.
"Just so you know, Chance came, too. To the hospital, I mean, but I told him to go back to school and let me look for you."
"Do they know?" Each time he spoke, there was still zero emotion. It was starting to worry her.
"No. No one knows, not even Chance.”
He waited a few more minutes before abruptly getting out of the truck. She followed, but wasn't sure what he was doing.
"Are you going to go to class?" she asked when she caught up to him.
"I'm going for a run."
"Mind if I tag along?"
No answer, so she took it as a yes.
She had to change into her running gear quickly once they got back to the room. He was not taking his time. He stalked out the door when he was finished changing. She was still putting on her running shoes and had to jog to catch up to him in the hallway.
As soon as he got outside, he broke into a fast jog. She figured she had better find a good stride because she had a feeling that he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. She just hoped that she could keep up. He didn't seem to have any regard for how heavily he was breathing. He didn't head for the track like she expected. He left the school grounds, and they ended up on a biking path that ran alongside a river.
He didn't say a word, mile after mile. She didn't know how far they had gone, but they had been running for about 45 minutes at a good pace. She hoped that he was ready for a rest soon and sure enough, when they reached the halfway point on a bridge that crossed the large river, he stopped.
They were both panting hard by this point. She stood beside him and looked down the river. He leaned against the railing and stared out over the river, but his eyes were unfocused and she knew that he wasn't really looking at the scenery.
"Do you come here a lot?" she asked.
"I come here to be alone."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
He shrugged. After a few minutes of silence punctuated only by their breathing, he shrugged again. "I don't understand it."
She didn't reply out of respect for his grief.
"I'm angry more than anything. I feel like I should be sadder."
"You spent a year being sad. You're angry that you didn't get to say goodbye."
"It figures. Her parents hated me. They did it on purpose."
She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything.
"You don't have to stay, you know. I'm not going to jump off the bridge or anything."
"I know. It’s not like this bridge is high enough to kill you, anyway. You’d just go for a swim. I want to be here, but I'll leave if you want."
He shrugged. "I have seemed sad for a while, huh?"
"Well yeah, since I've met you, and from what I've heard from the guys."
He nodded slowly. "They are good friends."
"Yeah, they are."
"Sorry I dragged you all the way out here. It was either run off some bad feelings or beat someone up."
"Oh, no problem. We need a workout anyways since we won't be going to practice."
"Do you believe in the 'they're looking down on you from heaven' thing?"
She thought for a moment, looking up at the sky. "I don't know, but I've never lost anyone close to me."
"Never?" He actually looked at her this time.
"Nope. I mean, my mom is dead, but I was so young I never knew her. My real father is dead, but I wasn't close to him either."
"Your father killed your mother, right?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah."
"Do you have any family left?"
"I never knew my mom's side. I tried to get in touch with them a few years ago, but they didn't want anything to do with me. My father was an only child and his parents are dead too. So no, I haven’t got a biological family. But Tremaine and my dad are great, just like real family. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them."
"That's good that you guys are so close."
She nodded and they stood in silence for a minute or so.
"It feels sort of like a release, you know? Is that terrible or what?"
"No, not at all. It’s natural, I'm sure." She sensed that he was confused and experiencing some mixed emotions.
"Well, I guess I'm relieved. This is how she would have wanted it from the beginning and I knew this day was gonna come, but I just wish I had a chance to say goodbye."
"Yeah, you should have had that chance but it was stolen from you and that's not fair. I'm sure she knows. I bet she's relieved now, too."
He nodded and let go of the railing to stand up straight. She heard a different voice as he spoke, one closer to the Blaize she’d come to know. "If we head back now, we can make lunch and the second half of our classes. Maybe Coach won't be too mad at us. Those guys are probably creating havoc in the school without us."