Read Kung Fooey Online

Authors: Graham Salisbury

Tags: #Age 7 and up

Kung Fooey (3 page)

Benny bit his lower lip and looked down. “Mines, too.”

He squatted and sat on his heels with his arms over his knees. “You guys ever seen a human skull?”

Wow. What kind of a question was
that
?

Everyone shook their head.

“Well, I have,” Benny said. “I found it in a lava tube. Up by the volcano. Secret place I discovered. You ever been in a lava tube? You can’t go in unless you have a ball of string. If you don’t have string to lead you back out, you could get lost and never come out and you could die of starvation. You know how long it
takes for your body to rot? You ever thought of how it might feel to have rats and mongooses eat you alive?”

What?

No one answered.

Benny grinned. “I figure that’s what happened to whoever’s skull that was. Could have been from new times or from old times, somebody lost, trying to find their way out. Or maybe it was a human sacrifice from the olden days. You can’t tell without testing it. They can do that, you know … tell how old bones are. But that was the weird thing. When I found the skull there
were
no bones. Just the head. Maybe it was
obakes.”

“Ghosts,” Rubin whispered, his eyes wide.

We looked at each other. We all knew the Japanese word for
ghosts. “Bad
ghosts,” Benny Obi whispered.

Then he turned toward the rest of us. I could see my reflection gaping back at me from his glasses.

I closed my mouth.

Benny wasn’t done.

“I know a kid with one and a half legs. Got attacked by a shark. A fisherman caught that shark by accident a couple days later, and when they cut the shark open they found the kid’s leg in the stomach. It was still in pretty good shape, so they found the kid and gave him his leg back. The doctors sewed it on again, but it didn’t work, so they took it off. Now the kid got a fake leg. You ever seen a fake leg? Steel thing with a shoe on the end? If you have long pants on you can’t tell it’s fake. But you can if you got shorts. I guess if you only got half a leg you don’t care, ah? At least you can walk.”

Benny Obi stopped talking and nodded. Then he went on. “Was me, I wouldn’t care. How’s about you? You ever seen a fake leg?”

He looked at us, waiting.

Uh …

“Well,” I said. “If … if …”

I had no idea what to say.

Benny Obi stood and looked down at us.
“You guys collect stuff? I collect everything. You name it, I got it. Old books, stamps, coins, rocks, insects, Star Wars figures, Micro Machines, manga—”

“Manga?” Rubin said. “I got sixty-eight books.”

“Yeah? I got like two, three hundred, maybe a thousand. I don’t know, I haven’t counted them up.”

He looked over his shoulder at the playground. “Hey, been nice. Gotta go. See you in class. What’s with the teacher, anyway? He some kind of army guy, or what? What’s with the boot camp? Ain’t that kind of weird?”

When nobody said anything, Benny Obi shrugged and walked away.

“Holy bazooks,” I whispered.

Julio spat. “Would you want to sit next to
that
?”

A
fter school I grabbed Darci from her first-grade room, then met up with Julio, Rubin, Willy, and Maya, who were waiting for us under a monkeypod tree. Most days we walked home together. We lived in the same neighborhood, except for Rubin, who lived halfway between us and the school.

As we headed down the quiet street, Darci tugged on my shirt. “Who’s the boy in the dark glasses? Is he new? I saw you talking to him.”

Julio snorted. “That’s Captain Strange.”

“His name is Benny, Darce. He’s—”

Eeeeeoooop!

All of us leaped and crashed into each other, trying to get out of the way of the hornblast of a truck bearing down behind us. I ended up in somebody’s hibiscus hedge with Julio and Darci.

We looked back out.

It wasn’t a truck.

Benny Obi lifted his dark glasses as he cruised past us on his silver-and-red bike. A giant air horn was bolted to its handlebar. Benny flicked his eyebrows, dropped his glasses back onto his nose, and gave the horn another blast.

Eeeeeoooop!

“Got it off my uncle,” he called. “Traded him a machete for it.”

He sailed on by without looking back.

Me, Julio, and Darci untangled ourselves from the hedge.

“I’m going to give that guy a wedgie,” Julio said.

I laughed. “Yeah? How?”

Julio scowled. “Hire Tito.”

“That would do it.”

Rubin peeled off when we got to his street. “Laters,” he said.

“I know kung fu!” I shouted.

Rubin cracked up.

Darci tilted her head. “You don’t know kung fu, Calvin.”

“Just kidding, Darce. It’s a joke.”

Back home on our street, Maya and Willy waved and headed to their houses, which were next door to each other.

When we got to Julio’s, I stopped and cocked my ear.

Something was in the air. A sound. Distant, but growing louder.

Boooom. Boooom. Boooom
.

“Clarence,” I said.

Seconds later, a big pink car with a black stripe down the middle turned onto our street.

“Stella’s ride,” Julio said.

Boooom. Boooom
.

We watched as Clarence’s old-time car cruised by in slow motion, gangster music blasting. Stella sat close to Clarence in the front seat.

Clarence glanced over and nodded. Stella ignored us.

“Put your junk away,” I said to Julio. “Come to my house.”

“Why? We got homework.”

“Later. You don’t want to miss this.”

“Miss what?”

I leaned close. “Stella. She’s getting her driver’s license. Clarence is teaching her how to drive.”

“So?”

“So she’s a—”

“Bad driver,” Darci said.

I nodded. “Worse. More like
scary
. Come watch. She might practice.”

Julio grinned. “Be right back.”

Darci and I waited.

Down at the end of the street, Clarence pulled into our driveway. The booming radio went off.

Clarence got out of the car. He was almost as tall as Mom’s boyfriend, Ledward, who was
six foot seven. I liked Clarence. He was not only teaching Stella how to drive, he was also teaching Darci and Willy how to swim better.

Julio’s screen door slapped shut behind us. “Let’s go get a front-row seat.”

Back at my house, Streak leaped all over me as Julio and I headed through the garage toward the kitchen door. “Hang on, girl. I’ll be right back out.”

Julio waited in the garage with Streak. Stella made Julio nervous, unless Mom was home. But Mom was still at work.

Darci and I went in the house.

Clarence was sitting at the kitchen counter reading Stella’s driver’s manual.

Darci and I dropped our backpacks on the floor.

Clarence looked up and lifted his chin, Hey.

“Are you taking Stella out to practice again?” I asked.

“Yep.”

“Now?”

“Soon as she comes back out.”

“What’s she doing?”

“Changing into her driving clothes.”

I studied him. “Driving clothes?”

Clarence chuckled.

Darci and I went back outside and plopped down next to Julio and Streak. We didn’t have to wait long.

Stella’s driving clothes were a light blue shirt, white shorts, and running shoes. She glanced at us, the bright sun making her long hair shine like gold. “What are you doing?” she said.

I shrugged. “Hanging out.”

Darci couldn’t hold it back. “We want to watch you drive.”

Stella shook her head. “No. You can’t. Go find something else to do. You’ll make me nervous.”

Darci and Julio started to get up.

But I didn’t move. Good that she was nervous. I owed her for making me shrink.

I leaned back on my hands and smiled.

Stella made a fist and ground it into her palm. “You want some of this, Stump? You want some Texas Nice?”

Stella had come to live with us from Texas. She said they didn’t put up with fools like me there. Fools got Texas Nice, every time.

Me and Darci hadn’t seen what Texas Nice was yet, but whatever it was, I didn’t think Stella would show us with Clarence around.

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