Lady Anne's Deception (18 page)

“What’s the matter, lad?” said Perkins, the butler. “Seen a ghost?”

“No, Mr. Perkins, sir. I went into the bathroom ’cos I saw all them wet towels lying on the floor. I was picking them up and then I saw
them.
”

“Who’s them?” asked the cook, pouring herself another glass of gin and water.

“My lord and my lady,” said the footman. “There they was in the bath, going at it like a couple o’ seals.

T’ain’t natural. What they got good beds for, that’s what I want to know.”

Perkins drew himself up and straightened his striped waistcoat.

“Bed for
you,
young man,” he said sternly to the footman. “And don’t let me hear you again, questioning the ways of your betters.”

John went off to look for a more sympathetic audience. “Can’t blame ’im,” sniffed Mrs. Barnes, the cook. “ ’E ain’t used to the ways of the quality. ’Member Lord and Lady Chisholm, Mr. Perkins? Did it out in the shrubbery, back o’ the house. But they never ’ad no children. I’ll say one thing, though, it’s ’igh time the master and mistress got together. And when you look at it, open-minded like, a bath’s a nice, clean place!”