Learning To Love (Contemporary Cowboy Romance) (Carson Hill Ranch series:Book 1) (10 page)

             
They drove along in near silence for some time, Casey pointing out things for Miranda to write in the small book he’d brought. He called out coordinates from the GPS mounted to the dashboard, having Miranda repeat them back to him as she wrote.

             
When lunch time finally rolled around, they had covered almost 400 miles of property line, with more left to cover. Casey veered the truck off the dirt path near the edge of a bright green pasture filled with gently flowing knee-high grass. He jumped down and pulled some items from the back of the truck bed, then went to work building a makeshift shade from a tarp tied to the sides of the truck and staked to the ground at the opposite corners with tent stakes. He helped Miranda down and handed her a quilt to spread out as he pulled down a cooler of drinks and a large plastic tub filled with their lunch.

             
“So, what do you think of the grand tour?” Casey asked as he put sandwich fixings and cold drinks back in their containers following their lunch. Miranda, content from a full lunch and a warm sun, leaned back against the large tire, Casey beside her.

             
“It’s gorgeous, but how do you manage so much empty space?” she asked, marveling at the expanse of property. “You would need a helicopter just to look at it all!”

             
“You know, we’ve had to do that from time to time, especially if we lost a member of the herd.”

             
“You mean, the ranch, right? You said the herd.”

             
“No, I meant the herd. Of course, we’d go looking for a human member of the bunch too, no question. But if any of the herd wandered off, we’d go after ‘em. Those animals make a fine steak but as long as they still have a heartbeat, they’re every bit as much a part of the ranch as you or me.”

             
“You think of me as part of the ranch?” Miranda asked softly.

             
Casey looked at her squarely before answering. “I absolutely do. You’re here with us but more importantly, you stayed. You could have left. My father even offered to pay your way and compensate you for your time. Yes, I know about that part. But you stayed. That makes you part of the ranch, every bit as much as any Carson on the place.”

             
Miranda was speechless. It had been so long since she had been a part of something bigger than just herself or Gracie’s life, it felt good to belong, even if the circumstances that landed her here were a little different. She leaned her head against Casey’s shoulder and simply enjoyed being beside him.

             
“Now seems like as good a time as any,” Casey said, breaking their comfortable and content silence. “I had another reason for bringing you out here today. First, I wanted to show you the land that you would belong to if you decided to stay. But more importantly, I want to make your staying on with us official.”

             
He reached into his jeans pocket and withdrew a small black velvet ring box and held it between his hands for a moment. “I wanted to take you away from the house for a while, away from the hordes of people who might influence you, so I could ask you this.

             
“Miranda, it took me long enough to stop being a stubborn idiot and to realize I am in love with you. I would be honored if you would be my wife. Will you marry me?”

             
Tears ran down her cheeks as Miranda nodded her head, throwing her arms around Casey and kissing him forcefully on his full lips. He pulled back for only a moment, laughter playing at the corners of his eyes and causing him to smile.

“Wait! You have to put this on, quick!” he said as he held out the delicate diamond ring, pinched so tightly between his thumb and forefinger, his knuckle had turned white. “If I drop this, we have twelve hundred miles of land to cover to find it!”

Casey took her hand in his and slid the thin gold band on her finger, sealing it in place with a kiss to her fingertip. Miranda looked down at the ring and was moved by the way it seemed to belong on her hand.

“I didn’t know what to expect when I got here, Casey. I’m so happy to say that the reality of being here is so much better than I could have ever imagined. Your home, your family, but mostly you, have made it amazing. I love you, Casey.”

As they kissed, Miranda knew this was an entirely different feeling than even just a few moments before. This was no longer the hesitating feeling of hoping that this would all work out somehow; the man she was sitting on the ground with under a gorgeous, blue Texas sky was going to be her husband.

That thought made her feel bold, but more importantly, made her feel wanted. As she reached up to caress Casey’s chest and opened the top button on his soft henley shirt, he froze for a fraction of a second, opening his eyes and meeting her gaze. The look he saw on her face melted any doubts he had and he basked in the expression of complete and total joy she wore. That look was something he wanted to see every day for the rest of his life, to know that this perfect person was utterly happy and content.

Miranda’s hands shook ever so slightly as she continued opening the three buttons on Casey’s shirt, watching his face expectantly for any sign that she should stop. She bit her lip when she reached the last button, knowing that now it was Casey’s turn to decide. Was she still just some stranger his dad had dropped off on the ranch, who he was marrying because he was supposed to? Or was she someone important to him, but more importantly, someone he wanted?

He answered her unspoken questions by pulling his shirt off over his head, rumpling his light brown hair in an unbelievably sexy way. Miranda traced her hands down the lines of his chest, sighing when she felt the definition to his abs that a lifetime of hard work had put there. She glanced at his half-naked body and drew in her breath at the glorious sight.

Casey kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth hungrily as reached for the hem of her t-shirt. He slid one hand under the soft fabric and was excited at the warm, soft feel of her skin. He had never known this kind of intimate connection was possible between two people and he wanted to taste her for some reason, a reason even he didn’t understand. He pulled back the fabric of her shirt and wove a line of kisses from the top button of her jeans up her smooth stomach, inching the shirt up as he went. He was ready for her to stop him, to realize he was still very much a stranger, but she never did.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his feathery touch light against the soft pink material of her bra. He looked up at her as he spoke, watching her face for any hesitation.

“Yes,” she breathed, eager to feel his mouth against her sensitive skin again. He reached one hand behind her back and unhooked her bra, freeing her breasts and allowing him to relish in placing his hands beneath the weight of them. He paused for a brief moment as he laid her back on the quilt, the soft grass beneath them providing the most comfortable bed.

             
“I want you, Miranda, more than anyone else in the world,” he said, his voice husky with longing. She ran her fingers through the tangle of hair hanging over his eyes and spoke at last, her voice barely managing a whisper.

“I want you, too.”

***

As they made the turn to the midway point of the property—there was no way to see the whole ranch in just one day—Casey pointed out a point in the distant hills. “That over there is your property. There’s a little cabin on it and a small barn, and a creek runs through it. That’ll be our next field trip!” he promised.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Miranda insisted. “Today was simply incredible. The ranch is gorgeous, but I’d have spent it in the pig pen if I could have had you to myself."

“It was spectacular, if I do say so myself. I’m so glad you came with me.” Casey flashed a broad smile at her before heading up a straight beaten-down path toward the main property. There had been so much to see, even while staring at endless acres of nothing, and Miranda had taken it all in like it was the most exciting adventure ever. That thought reminded him that he needed to explain the plan for the cattle drive, especially when they were leaving in only a couple of days. “You know, my dad was talking to us last night…”

“Another business meeting?” Miranda interrupted with a knowing smile. Casey nodded.

“…and we were talking about the drive. What would you say if we put you in charge of the city people?” Miranda’s face froze.

“What are ‘city people,’ and who on earth would think I could be in charge of them? I need someone to be in charge of me, remember? The only riding I’ve done is around the ranch with Gracie!”

“That’s the term for the outsiders who come along on the drive,” he explained. “Many years back, when I was just a kid, Dad was approached by a travel agent about letting people pay to experience ranch life. For a time, we operated almost a small dude ranch, where city people would stay and learn things like horseback riding, roping, and stuff like that. The only problem was, those people wanted to experience the Old West, complete with gunfights, a sheriff’s posse, eating beans by the camp fire, crap like that. They’d show up wearing the most ridiculous, impractical costumes, trying to call us all ‘Slim’ and ‘Black Bart’. The final straw was when one guy arrived with a giant handgun he wore slung around his hips in a gun belt…the stupid guy didn’t have the safety on and he shot himself in the ankle. That was enough of playing cowboy for Dad. “

“So, now, we still let people join the drive but there is a very clear understanding that they are here to work and learn. It’s only a little bit aggravating having to watch out for people, but we do a better job of learning about them and explaining the rules. It’ll be fine,” Casey assured her. “You’ll have two really great old guys to make sure all of you stay safe and get there in one piece. Your job would be more…diplomatic. Make sure they have a good time, don’t go wandering off, don’t do anything really, really stupid, stuff like that.”

             
Miranda smiled and gave Casey’s hand a squeeze. “If you think I can do it, then I’m in. I’m happy to help out. Gracie can help me too, right?” She hadn’t actually brought it up, but Miranda had hoped Gracie would be welcome on the drive. If Gracie couldn’t go, Miranda didn’t see how she could go, either. They’d only been there a few weeks, and she didn’t feel comfortable leaving her little sister behind. At the same time, she hated to start things off with Casey by having to choose Gracie over him.

“Sure, that’d be a great job for her. It turns out, I’ll be driving one of the trucks every other day, so the days I’m in the saddle, she can ride near me and do more with the animals. The days I’m not there to watch out for her, I’d feel better if she stayed with you.”

Miranda and Casey passed the rest of the trip back to the ranch making small talk, looking for wildlife, even talking about their future plans a little. It was the most serene Miranda had felt in a long time, but it was too short-lived. When they finally ended the day back at the house, Bernard was waiting for them, and standing next to him was the local sheriff.

“I thought everything was cleared up with Thomas’ murder,” Miranda said quietly before they got out of the truck. “Jack confessed and everything, didn’t he?”

“That’s right. Maybe this is about something else?” Casey suggested, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out. He came around to Miranda’s side and helped her get down as Bernard and the sheriff approached.

“Casey, Miranda, this is Sheriff Matthews. He’s come out here to ask a few questions. Why don’t you go clean up, Casey, and Miranda and I can talk to the sheriff in my office?” the older man said with forced kindness, a tone of concern in his gravelly voice.

“Ask Miranda some questions? What’s this all about?” Casey demanded, stepping in front of Miranda slightly.

“I’ll explain everything later, son, but for now, she needs to answer a few questions about why she was so eager to come to Texas.” Casey couldn’t quite see his father’s expression, backlit as he was by the bright lights shining from the house, but he could hear it in his father’s voice. Something had him upset, almost angry.

“No,” he answered. “Miranda’s my fiancée, and anything that affects her affects me, too. We’ll both go inside.” He held out a hand to her while still staring down his father and the sheriff. It was only after he took her hand and felt her tremors that he looked at her and saw the fear all over her face. His eyebrows went up, a questioning look on his face, but Miranda simply stared straight ahead as they began to walk up the porch steps, the sheriff following close behind.

Inside, they went to Bernard’s office and the old man closed the door behind them, something he almost never did. There was never any ranch business so secret or a ranch hand so mistrusted that the door needed to be shut. Miranda couldn’t have known that but for Casey, it was an all-too-real sign that something was seriously wrong.

“Miranda, like Bernard said, I’m Sheriff Matthews. We received a call from a detective with the New Jersey state investigator’s office, asking about your whereabouts. Can you explain why that might be? What they might be looking for?”

Miranda sat completely still, desperate to be believed. “I don’t know anything about it, I don’t even know why they would know my name.”

“How is it that you showed up in Hale, dragging a minor child with you?” he asked, very business-like but very grandfatherly at the same time. Miranda instantly liked him, and wanted to be able to answer him completely.

“Well, I don’t know what Mr. Carson—Bernard—told you, but I answered his ad on an online dating site and when things back home weren’t going very well, I took a chance and accepted his invitation to come out here.”

“I see. And Bernard tells me that you haven’t made any phone calls, written any letters, or even asked to so much as send an email since the day you arrived here. As far as he knows, you haven’t used a computer to even check your Facebook account. Doesn’t that seem weird that you and your sister would come all this way and basically disappear?” The officer looked at her quizzically, trying to be level-headed but leading her with his questions.

“That’s because I don’t have anyone to update. My parents are both gone, my ex-boyfriend is the last person on earth I want to talk to, and I never really had time for close friends. I don’t even have a Facebook account.”

“Hmm. But can you see why it might look like you’re hiding out on this ranch? Don’t you think it’s awfully suspicious that you just pack up and leave, without even telling your landlord or your sister’s school?”

Miranda sighed quietly, trying to look as innocent as she knew she was, but the sheriff was right. It did look odd. “Meeting the Carsons happened at a very…lucky…time for me. I didn’t leave things on a good note with my boyfriend. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and when I had this opportunity, I took it. I had already been emailing back and forth and knew at the very least, the Carson ranch might be a good place to stay for a while and get my head together, even if things didn’t work out with Casey. But I hoped for the best, and I found it,” she said with a smile, reaching for Casey’s hand. He took his fingers in hers, but he didn’t return her happy expression. Instead, he watched the sheriff and his father with a grim look on his face, alternating between the two of them to try to understand what this was about.

“I guess that makes sense, but can you understand our point of view?” the sheriff continued, stressing the word “our” to mean that Bernard may be as concerned as he was. “You show up here, then the state you just fled wants to know where you are and why. They had to get your present location—the town, at least—off your credit card receipt for the bus tickets, so that means they’ve already been granted a warrant by a judge to look into your financial records. It just looks mighty odd, don’t you think?”

“I completely understand why you’d think that. But I’ve got nothing to hide. I’ll talk to their detectives myself, if that’s what they want. That’s all I can say,” Miranda explained.

Sheriff Matthews looked at Bernard, who nodded his head briefly. The older man had stood this whole time, his arms crossed in front of him, weighing the situation. The sheriff smiled at Miranda and thanked her, then told her she would probably be hearing from the police in the next day or two before grabbing his hat and letting himself out. Bernard sighed loudly before smiling weakly.

“I guess you two must be tired, go on and get some sleep. Stop by the kitchen if you need something to eat first,” he said, dismissing them as he sat down and went back to shuffling some papers on his desk. Miranda got up to leave, followed by Casey at a distance. She couldn’t see the look the father and son exchanged before he left.

At the bottom of the stairs, Miranda turned to Casey and put her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his chest and looking up into his clear blue eyes. “That was strange, huh?” she asked.

Casey didn’t respond for a minute, leaving Miranda to look at him in confusion. He took her arms from around his waist and stepped back somewhat, still gripping her wrists as he spoke. “Is there something I need to know about, Miranda? Something you’re not telling me? Because if there is, you’d better tell me right now and get it out in the open.”

              Miranda stared in shock. “Of course not! How can you think that?”

             
“It’s not every day the police make the hour-long drive out here to question my future wife, that’s why! And he did say some things that make a little bit of sense. Why did you come all the way out here without even talking on the phone first? Yeah, yeah, I know,” he said, when Miranda opened her mouth to protest, “my dad said there was only a satellite phone. But you still got on the bus and rode clear across the country without ever having talked to him? You must have been pretty excited to leave home.”             

             
“Casey, I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to say, I don’t even know why the police want to talk to me.”

             
“It just sounds a little too convenient the way the timing lined up, and the way you just skipped town like that. I hope you can understand why they might be suspicious.”

             
“Sure I can. Your dad has a family and a ranch to think about, and a fortune invested in this place that he has to protect. But what I can’t understand is why you’d be so quick to jump to conclusions. Remember, your dad is the one who reached out to me, not the other way around. I’m not the one who went trolling the Internet, looking for a mate for my kid, pretending to be someone I’m not.
That
was your dad.
He
contacted
me
, not the other way around. If I was desperate to head out on the run from the cops and dig my greedy claws into a rich land baron’s son, I’d have to be pretty stupid to sit around waiting, hoping the perfect situation landed in my lap.” Miranda was close to tears at how their perfect day was ending, but even worse, over not being trusted. She turned to head to the bedroom at the top of the stairs, but stopped and turned to Casey one more time. “I hope you remember that when you were accused of killing a man, I believed you the second you said you didn’t do it. No proof, no witnesses, nothing…I just believed you, even though I’d only known you for a day or two and most of that time had been spent watching you stare at me in disgust. I thought I could at least expect the same courtesy of the man I agreed to marry today.”

             
Miranda left him standing at the bottom of the stairs and managed to make it to her room and close the door before the tears came. She heard footsteps on the stairs and listened for a knock on the door, but there was none. She cried herself to sleep, still wearing the clothes she’d worn for the best day she’d had in a long time.                                         

             
The next morning didn’t look any brighter. Miranda stayed in bed until Gracie awoke, then put on a good front and tried to answer the younger girl’s questions about her day with a cheerful tone. There was no sense in worrying her before anyone knew anything.

             
When Gracie finally got ready and headed out to eat before going to the barn, Miranda bowed out, saying she was staying in bed with a book she’d brought, too exhausted from being gone all day yesterday. Hopefully, the younger girl didn’t see anything wrong with Miranda’s story, and seemed to believe it as she closed the door when she left.

             
Miranda stayed in bed all morning, trying desperately to concentrate on the book she retrieved from her suitcase to not think about last night. Instead, her mind kept returning to the look of mistrust and hurt on Casey’s face, the look he’d worn as she walked away.

             
This might be the end of it
, Miranda thought, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.
I’ve lost someone I never even knew I wanted, and I’m back to square one: alone and heartbroken.
There was no use in pretending to read her favorite book. Who needed happy endings with Mr. Darcy when her own chances for ever finding her own happy ending had just gone up in smoke? Again?

             
At some point, she fell asleep, exhausted from the emotional turmoil and from going from content to elated to devastated, all in less than twenty-four hours. She couldn’t tell how long she slept, but somewhere in that time, a strong floral scent worked its way into her dream.

             
Miranda dreamt she was standing in a giant pasture like the ones Casey had shown her yesterday, only this pasture was hundreds of acres of rose bushes. She could stand and breathe in the heavenly smell of millions of rose blossoms but she couldn’t move, surrounded as she was by the thick growth of thorny stems. She could look, but not touch. In front of her, Casey stood with his arms outstretched, begging her to come to him, but the thorns were in her way. Suddenly, she heard a voice from her past behind her. Mike. He was crashing through the thorny field, oblivious to the small points tearing at his clothes and skin, his arms outstretched to get her and a sickening, furious scowl on his face. It would have been so real, but Miranda could see from his still wounded head, bashed in with the baseball bat back in her apartment, that this had to still be part of her dream.

             
She woke up suddenly, disoriented from having fallen asleep in the middle of the day and from the strangeness of the dream. Her eyes fell on the large vase overflowing with wildflowers that was standing on the table beside her bed, a large note tied around the vase with ribbon. Miranda flipped open the folded piece of paper and saw that it simply said, “I’m sorry.”

             
But sorry for what?
she thought to herself sadly.
Sorry for last night, or for bringing me here in the first place?
She looked down at the diamond ring on her finger and thought back to Casey’s romantic proposal and their intimacy shortly afterward. Was it all for nothing, and did he want to go back on his proposal?

             
Miranda didn’t have to wait long for an answer. She turned to lie on her back for a while and nearly came out of her skin when she saw Casey sitting on the foot of her bed, waiting for her to wake up. She looked at him for what seemed like an eternity, trying to read the expression on his face, but couldn’t. Finally, he spoke,

             
“Miranda, I thought about what you said last night, and I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice raw. She could see the dark circles under his eyes, which told her he hadn’t slept well either, if he’d gone to bed last night at all. “You told me you were telling the truth, and I didn’t listen. You haven’t done anything to make me think that you came out here for any reason except the reason you’ve said all along. But as soon as it even looked like there was a problem, I started to question your motives and practically accused you of being a shameless gold digger. You didn’t deserve that.” He looked down at his hands where they fidgeted with the hem of his untucked shirt. Miranda noticed for the first time that he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, answering her question about how much sleep he must have had. “When I didn’t see you come down for breakfast, I was so scared that you’d left, not that I could blame you if you did. Then, I finally saw Gracie out at the barn and this feeling of complete relief that I felt from knowing you had to still be here was…I just don’t even have the words to say how glad I was.”