“Darlin’?” a lady said as she touched my arm. She had a freckled face with round cheeks. “You sure you’re in the right place? This is a Red Cross drive.”
Red Cross? Just like on the poster. “But the door said doctor. I’m here to see Doc Nelson.”
“That right? Well, come on in. My name is Evelyn. I’m the doctor’s wife.” She took my hand and led me away from all them ladies through another door.
“Now,” she said once the door was closed and there wasn’t so much noise, “the doctor will be back in just a little while. He had to go check on the Patterson boy. Twelve years old and just put a nail right through the palm of his hand.”
I sank down to the floor. I came all this way and Doc Nelson wasn’t even here?
“Now, now,” Mrs. Nelson said. “The doctor will be back in no time. Don’t you worry about a thing.” She patted the top of my head like I was a puppy, then stepped toward the counter that was in the corner of the room. “Can I offer you a piece of pound cake while you wait?” She held in her hands a tarnished silver tray. “Come on, now. It’s fresh made.”
I wiped my nose against my sleeve, then looked up at her. Mama always said it was rude to stare, but I ain’t never seen so many freckles. They covered her nose and forehead and neck. And they was almost the exact same shade as her reddish-brown hair.
“Well, I’ll just have myself a piece while you’re deciding,” Mrs. Nelson said as she picked up a piece of cake. “Mmm,” she said, closing her eyes. “I mean, that’s good.” She swallowed and wiped the crumbs from her bosom. “Now, why don’t you tell me who you are.” She looked at me expectantly as she folded her hands in her lap. Even her hands had freckles on ’em.
“Ludelphia Bennett,” I said, putting my hands in my lap the same way she did hers. “From Gee’s Bend. My mama’s real sick, so I came to fetch the doctor.”
“That right?” She picked up another piece of cake with her fingers and pushed it toward me. I wasn’t a bit hungry, but I took it from her anyway and placed it on my tongue.
That cake fell to pieces in my mouth. I ain’t never had a slice of pound cake so light and fluffy. I worked it around slowly in my mouth, tasting each flavor. First lemon, then vanilla, then a hint of cinnamon. Then I reached for the other piece.
Mrs. Nelson didn’t say nothing else till I had eaten the last crumb. Just sat there watching.
“Thank you, ma’am,” I said as I wiped the corner of my mouth. “That’s some mighty fine pound cake.”
Mrs. Nelson nodded. “Now, what’s this about your mama?”
I patted the place where my pocket used to be. Then I remembered. I’d stitched the pocket into my quilt top when I was drying out after my ride down the river. And now my quilt top was lying on the floor of Camden Mercantile.
I slapped the chair bottom. How was I gonna get it back? And how was I gonna tell Mrs. Nelson my story without stitching? It was like I needed the rhythm of that needle going in and out to calm myself enough to talk.
I thought of the blood coming out of Mama’s mouth. Wasn’t no choice, really. I just had to start talking. I just had to set my mind to it and tell Mrs. Nelson the whole story.
So that’s what I did. I told Mrs. Nelson about the devil’s lye and baby Rose being born and Etta Mae helping. I told her about the blood and about Aunt Doshie coming but not being able to help. I told her about the ferry and the river and barn and Patrick and Mrs. Cobb and the witches of Gee’s Bend. It was like that pound cake let my tongue loose.
All the while, Mrs. Nelson’s eyes never left me. When I finally finished, she took a deep breath and let it out real slow.
“Ludelphia, I’m sorry to have to tell you this.” She shot her eyes down at her lap, then back at me. “But there’s not a thing in this world Doc Nelson can do for your mama.”
What do you mean? is what I wanted to say. Doc Nelson can’t help Mama? But he’s a doctor! He’s the one Etta Mae told me to come get.
But wasn’t no time for me to get the word out before there was a knocking at the door. Then a white-haired lady poked her head in.
“Evelyn, we need you in here. It’s just about time for the drawing. And Mrs. Cobb is here. Said she wants to give a big donation!”
I jerked my head up. Mrs. Cobb? Dear Lord, after what I done to her store, she’d kill me for sure.
“Is that so?” Mrs. Nelson said, giving me a quick look and placing her hand on my shoulder. “Well, bless her heart. After all that’s happened.” She shook her head. “You tell her I’ll be right out. And the Red Cross thanks her!”
Soon as the door was shut, Mrs. Nelson grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “Don’t you worry, darlin’. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You just stay right here, and I’ll go out and talk to Mrs. Cobb. Surely she won’t hold a little mess in her store against you. That could’ve happened to anybody!”
“But, Mrs. Nelson, she’s got a gun. And she thinks I’m a witch! I ain’t never seen somebody so mad, not in my whole life!”
Mrs. Nelson crushed me against her and rested her chin on the top of my head. “Don’t you worry, Ludelphia. You just wait here.”
As the door shut behind her, everything quieted. All them voices died down, and Mrs. Nelson began to speak.
“Welcome, everyone, to the Red Cross drive. As many of you know, 1932 is our centennial year here in Camden. And with the depression going on, it’s been a hard year for lots of folks. The Red Cross needs your donations now more than ever. With your cash donation here today, not only do you get to feel the pleasure of providing food and clothing and medicine to the distressed and needy, your name will be entered in a drawing for this lovely fur coat!”
A fur coat! You could win a fur coat in a drawing?
There was a chorus of oohs and aahs coming from the other room. If there was ever a drawing in Gee’s Bend, it was for pie or a ripe watermelon. Not a coat.
Oh, Mama. If Doc Nelson can’t help you, what am I gonna do? If only I had my needle so I’d have something to do with my hands.
I laced my fingers together, then unlaced ’em. What was it Etta Mae said the day they came to take away the church piano after Reverend Irvin sold it for new church seats? “Don’t matter none,” she said. “I’ll just play it in my head.”
And that’s just what she did. There was times when we was together that Etta Mae would close her eyes and start to swaying. Didn’t need nobody to tell me she was playing that piano.
Ain’t nobody in the world can stop you from doing what you want to in your head. Ain’t nobody can take hold of your thoughts, no matter what’s happened. So while Mrs. Nelson talked and all them ladies listened, I closed my eyes and started stitching.
In my mind I picked up the quilt top from the floor of Camden Mercantile and held up the pieces I’d done stitched together. I turned it around and over till I had a clear picture of just how it looked so far.
My eye popped open. It wasn’t right. Something about the quilt top just wasn’t right. No matter which way I turned it, it just didn’t look the way I wanted it to.
I leaned my head back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. It was a flat white ceiling, just like at Mrs. Cobb’s house. Not a trace of color on it. I squeezed my eyes shut and what came to me was the river. The brown water and orange dirt and blue sky. I held my breath till my chest ached same as it had when I was still underwater.
Mama always said it wasn’t never too late to start over when you was piecing a quilt. When the colors was off and the seams didn’t quite match up, wasn’t nobody to stop you from taking it apart and starting over. The important thing was to do it right.
I couldn’t think of but one thing to do. If it was true that Doc Nelson couldn’t help my mama, then I had to get my quilting things back. I just had to. So I could pull them stitches out and start over again.
Dear Lord, I’m begging you! Please help me get Mama’s quilt back. Help me get it right.
I knew now that the pieces from Mama’s apron was meant to go in the middle. It all started with Mama and would work itself out from there.
In my mind, I stitched. Worked that needle in and out, in and out. I stitched and waited and tried to forget what Mrs. Nelson said about Doc Nelson not being able to help. Tried to rearrange the words till they meant what I wanted ’em to mean. Paid attention only to the picture in my head and stitched like I ain’t never stitched before.
Blue Handkerchief
NEXT THING I KNEW, THERE CAME A KNOCKING on the door that sent all them stitches right out of my head. What if it was Mrs. Cobb? What if she wasn’t coming to give a donation but was coming after
me
?
As the door opened, I scrambled to my feet. I’d outrun her once, and I’d do it again if I had to.
“Evelyn said you needed a doctor?” My mouth dropped open. It wasn’t Mrs. Cobb. It was a man with thick brown hair that was shot all through with silver. And he was wearing a white coat. It had to be Doc Nelson!
My heart pounded as he strode through the doorway, his black shoes coming down firm and heavy. This here was the reason I had come such a long way. This man.
With Mrs. Nelson right behind him, the doctor squatted down and smiled just enough to show a dimple in his left cheek. “Is it your eye?” Wasn’t no shock in his face at all as he studied my eye patch. Just matter-of-factness.
Tears gathered in my throat. “Nossir. It’s worse than that.” Then my nose started to run.
He pulled from his coat pocket a small blue handkerchief and pressed it into my palm. “Take this.”
As tears slipped down my face, I curled my fingers around that thin scrap of cloth. It wasn’t my quilt top, but it was something warm and solid. And smooth as a dogwood petal, like he’d been carrying it in that coat for years.
“Her name’s Ludelphia,” Mrs. Nelson said, her voice gentle. “Her mama’s real sick, and she’s come all the way from Gee’s Bend to fetch you.” Mrs. Nelson shook her head and lifted her eyebrows as she said it.
This was when he was gonna tell me no. But I couldn’t let him. I wasn’t gonna give him the chance.
I stood up and braced my legs the way Delilah does when she sees Daddy getting out the harness. Didn’t matter what Mrs. Nelson said before. I was ready to fight if that’s what it took.
“Doc Nelson,” I said, ignoring the urge to scratch under my eye patch, “I need you to come back with me to Gee’s Bend. Don’t you tell me you can’t.”
The doctor chuckled. “Well, first you got to tell me what the problem is. What exactly is wrong with your mama?”
“First it was just a cough. But soon as the baby came, everything got worse.” I swallowed. “When I left, she couldn’t hardly breathe and she was coughing up blood.”
The doctor’s mouth settled into a straight line. “And the baby?”
“Rose? Ain’t a thing wrong with her. Was taking milk from a washcloth when I left.”
“Good, good.” Doc Nelson flashed his dimple, then his face got serious again. “If I was guessing, I’d say your mama’s got pneumonia. You heard of pneumonia?” When I nodded, he went on. “It’s real hard to treat. Doctors have been working on making some new medicine.” His voice got real soft. “But it’s not ready yet, Ludelphia. I’m sorry, but the best thing for her is rest. Rest and soup and anything you can do to make her breathing easier.”
If he’d stabbed me it would have hurt less than hearing those awful words again. Those words that meant Aunt Doshie was right, Mrs. Nelson was right, and leaving Gee’s Bend hadn’t been nothing but a waste of time.
I wanted to scream, but my voice came out in a whimper. “Please, Doc Nelson. Just come to Gee’s Bend. Just come and look in on Mama and say for sure.”
Doc Nelson sighed then. It was one of them sighs I’d heard from Daddy so many times. I knew now it was the sound of giving up. “I can’t do that, Ludelphia. Much as I’d like to help your mama, I can’t just leave. Not with three babies due any day and no other doctor for miles.”
It was like my heart fell right out of my chest and Doc Nelson had just stomped on it with both feet.
“But what about Mama?” I looked from one to the other. “She might die if you don’t come. That’s the reason I came all this way to get you.”
Doc Nelson reached for my hand, but I pulled away. “I promise to come just as soon as I can, Ludelphia. Just as soon as the ferry’s up and running again and I can get another doctor to be here for my patients.”
I was so mad I couldn’t speak. It was like the tears had burned a hole in the back of my throat. Doc Nelson was just doing his job. But it didn’t change the fact that I had come all this way for nothing. And no one seemed to understand about Mama. How serious it was and how it was up to me to make it right.
The room was silent except for my tears. I swiped them away as fast as I could. Crying never helped nothing neither.
“Mrs. Cobb!” Doc Nelson said when someone from the other room pushed open the door.
At the sound of her name my shoulders tightened and I shrank back toward the wall.
Doc Nelson stood between me and Mrs. Cobb. “Haven’t seen you since the funeral,” he said. “Everything okay?”
With Doc Nelson blocking my view, I couldn’t see nothing of Mrs. Cobb except her skirt and her hands. They was gripping that shotgun so hard her fingers was turning red. Didn’t Mrs. Cobb ever go noplace without that thing?
“I just came over to collect Ludelphia,” Mrs. Cobb said. “Thought I’d take her home with me tonight.”
Mrs. Nelson threw her arm over my shoulders like she was a hen and I was her chick. But it still didn’t stop me from shaking.
Doc Nelson scratched his head, then spoke in a low voice. “You sure that’s a good idea, Mrs. Cobb? Now, I know it’s been a difficult time since Mr. Cobb passed. Don’t make sense for you to have to look after the girl at a time like this.”
Mrs. Nelson squeezed my shoulder. “Listen to the doctor, Mrs. Cobb. I’m sure Ludelphia’s family is worried sick about her. She needs to get on back to Gee’s Bend.”