Read Letting Go Online

Authors: Bridie Hall

Letting Go (6 page)

“In a motel
—” Before she could finish, Chloe cut her short.

“You’re in a mot
el with Harper? Do you know how wrong that sounds?”

“We rented two rooms,
Chloe. And it only sounds wrong because you like him,” Isabelle grinned.


You would too if you’d only really look at him,” Chloe replied with her d-uh voice.

“I’ve been looking
and listening to him the entire afternoon and all that made me want to do to him was strangle him.”

“M
m, kinky.”


Chloe!”

“Joking,
Izzy. Lighten up, will you? Anyway, where are you staying for the night?”


Perry. The road’s pretty bad with all the rain so Harper said we should stop and continue in the morning.”


Harper said, huh?”

“Come on,
Chloe, at least you could be on my side, you know?” Isabelle whined, disappointed with the lack of support from her friend.

“I am,
Isabelle. Totally. That’s why I’ve been rooting for Harper all this time instead of the boring Jamie.”


Jamie is not boring. Plus, Harper’s not my type.”

“What type is that?”

“I don’t know Chloe ... his type. A self-absorbed, obnoxious jerk.”

“Do you know how small kids like to tease
and insult someone they like? Yeah, that.” Chloe’s voice was so smug and brimming with suppressed laughter that Isabelle had to laugh although she was mad with her for suggesting something so ridiculous.

“Shove it, C.”

“Come on, Isabelle. Can’t you see how much fun it would be dating a bad boy?” Chloe whined.

“You’re not serious, are you? He’s trouble,
Chloe, like ... real trouble. Jamie says ...” Isabelle fell silent, realizing that she was about to reveal too much.

“What?”
Chloe’s voice perked up the second she sensed a juicy bit of information. “Tell me, Isabelle. I’m your best friend. You can trust me.”

“Uh-huh, like when I told you I liked Maddox and you couldn’t wait to tell him the next day in school?”

“We were nine back then. I’m a grown-up now. Come on.”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“I promise.”

“I mean
anyone
, Chloe.”

“I swear,
Isabelle, I won’t tell a soul. You have my word. Cross my heart. Scout’s honor.”

“When have you ever been a scout?”
Isabelle frowned.

“That’s beside the point,”
Chloe said. “Spill already.”

Isabelle sighed.
“Jamie once let slip that ... well, that Harper did drugs.”

“No shit!”
Isabelle could hear Chloe’s gasp on the other end of the line. “For real? I mean, hardcore stuff?”

“He
wouldn’t tell me any details. He didn’t mean to say anything in the first place. So please, C, don’t tell this anyone. I mean it.”


Sure. It’s too bad, though.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Still, he’s hot. You can’t deny that.”

“I guess,”
Isabelle said. But when she remembered his chocolate brown eyes glancing at her every now and then on their ride here, his lips smirking at her, revealing his even white teeth when he smiled, his tanned hands gripping the wheel ... Chloe was right, there was no doubt about it. If you liked bad boys, he was it. But she had Jamie. He was perfect for her and he loved her. That was all she needed. All she ever wanted.

“I guess,”
Chloe mockingly repeated. “What is so great about Jamie?”

“Now you’re being mean. He’s this perfect, nice guy and you keep picking on him. I don’t even understand why you don’t like
him.”

“Boooring
.”

“Well, I’ll pick boring over a drug addict any day,
Chloe. Go ahead, make fun of me for it.” Isabelle was overreacting about Harper being a drug addict when she had no proof that he’d ever done drugs at all, but she was upset because of Chloe’s constant digs at Jamie. They were best friends, but she wished Chloe were more supportive of her relationship with Jamie. It made her sad that she couldn’t share her happiness with Chloe because every time she told her about something nice that Jamie did for her, Chloe always managed to find a negative aspect to it, making him look ridiculous, sappy, manipulative or something worse.

For a long while, s
tatic was all that reached Isabelle over the line.

“I’m sorry,
Isabelle,” Chloe finally said repentant, sighing. “It’s just ... I’d want you to have fun. And Jamie is so ... safe.”

“What does it matter? He’s a good guy.
And I want safe. I’m not you, Chloe.”

“I know, I know. I’m being an idiot, you know that. I’m the one who dated Jasper and then had to lie to the police that he wasn’t growing pot
in his grandma’s garden. That’s how I am, and I’m sorry if I’ve been bugging you too much, Izzy. I love you, you know that, right?”

“I know, love you too. And you’re not bugging me. That much.”

“Though, Harper is sort of scorching hot.”

Isabelle
had to laugh at Chloe’s last attempt at convincing her. “Okay, okay, I admit it. He’s hot but he’s also my boyfriend’s brother.”

“Fair enough,
Izzy.”

“Hey, C,
have you seen Dad around? He’s not answering his phone.”

“No, I haven’t. He probably lost it again. Didn’t you say it happened like a dozen times last year?”

“Probably. I don’t know if he even realizes I was supposed to come home today.”

“It’s better that
way; otherwise he’d be worried sick. Especially if he didn’t notice his phone was missing.” Isabelle couldn’t imagine him being worried sick—she didn’t think he was capable of such strong feelings—but Chloe did have a point.

“You’re right. I just wish ...”
She wanted to say that she wished he’d call the police the second she didn’t return home on time, organize a search party, raise the alarm in the entire town. At least then she could be certain that he cared. She sometimes thought he wasn’t even aware that he had a daughter. She knew it was her insecurities talking, so she didn’t voice her thoughts.

But
like always, Chloe read her mind. “I know, hon. But if he was tracking your every step, you’d wish he wasn’t. You know?”

Isabelle
nodded, but then realized Chloe couldn’t see her.

“I guess so.”

Chloe was used to jumbled family dynamics from her own single-parent family. Her mother was a volatile illustrator that didn’t drive, didn’t even manage to pay bills or cook lunch when she was supposed to. Isabelle loved her as a fellow artist, but she could imagine what life was like for Chloe. She had had to prepare her own lunch box since first grade. Chloe didn’t know what it was like to grow up because she’d never really experienced a carefree childhood.

“Do you want me to go to your house and check on him?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon at the latest, anyway.”

“Okay. But if I
see him, I’ll tell him you’re fine. And that he lost his phone,” Chloe chuckled.

“Thanks. You’re the best.”

“Take care.”

“You too.”

“Call me tomorrow, will you?”

“Sure thing.”

****

Isabelle
heard hurried footsteps outside. For a second she thought they stopped in front of her room, but then she heard the knock on Harper’s door. Muted words followed and then the steps retreated. The walls were thin and she could hear that the TV was on in the adjacent room. She made a face at the wall as if her annoyance could seep through to Harper.

Although she was tired, her body was still used to
the European time and she had a feeling she would have trouble sleeping. And Harper got the TV. Why was that again?

A s
econd later, when a knock reverberated through the small room, she jerked up on the bed.


Isabelle?” It was Harper.

“What?” She wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, much less to see him.

“Can I come in?” She didn’t know anyone who could sound so arrogant when making a request.

“Go away.”

“Come on, Isabelle. There’s nothing on TV anyway.”

“I don’t care. Leave me alone. I want to sleep.”

“But you said you couldn’t. I can’t either. And I have pizza.”

At the mention of food, her stomach grumbled. Earlier, she was trying to ignore the hunger. She was cashless and she was too proud to ask
Harper for money. Now that he mentioned pizza, she was so starved she thought she could smell it through the door.

She was hesitating between giving in and
opening the door, and being stubborn and keeping her pride.

“I’m not hungry,” she said feebly.

“You haven’t eaten anything the entire afternoon. You must be starving, Isabelle. Don’t be a fool.”

Was she being a fool? To her mind,
letting Harper into her motel room seemed much more foolish. The tension in the car had been quite enough for her today, it exhausted her. But she was famished. And pizza ... Her mouth watered and she had trouble swallowing.

She glared at
Harper through the door as she opened it for a fraction. He offered the pizza box as a peace offering. Or was that offering a piece?

“Sorry about the TV. You can come to my room if
you want to watch it. But like I said, it’s nothing on. It’s too early for porn.” He smiled sweetly. He’d taken off his jacket and was now in his black t-shirt.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a cliché,” she gritted through her teeth
, but then she glanced at the box and her expression mellowed.

She opened the door wider and steppe
d aside for him to enter.

He placed the box on the side table and opened it
. The smell of cheese and ham attacked her nostrils. Her stomach grumbled again. Harper must’ve heard it but he didn’t comment. She was grateful for that. Her pride had already suffered enough for one day.

“Dig in.” He sat down on the
chair, and it squeaked under his weight.

“Thanks.
” She sat down on the edge of the bed.

The first bite tasted like heaven.
It must’ve shown on her face because Harper said, “That looked orgasmic.”

All her blood shot to her face
, and he chuckled.

“Why didn’t you want
anything to eat earlier if you were that hungry?”

“I don’t have any money,” she mumbled and wolfed down the rest of the piece.

“That’s silly, Isabelle.”

“I didn’t want to owe you,
” she said quietly.

“You’d rather starve than owe me five bucks?” He sounded incredulous and a little bit
angry, she thought.

“More than five. You’re paying for the room, too, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, because this dump costs a fortune.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed another slice. “You can pay me back if it’s bothering you so much.”

On her third slice, she shrugged.

For a few moments they ate in silence. Harper was looking around the room as if there was anything to see. Isabelle concentrated on the food. When the box was empty, he asked, “Why does it bother you so much, anyway?”

“What?”

“Owing me? Why does it bother you?”

“I ...” She shook her head. “I don’t know, it just does. I don’t like to owe people because they can then hold you in check.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What?” He had an amused expression on his face, one that she couldn’t interpret. That was always a bad sign with
Harper.

“You’re afraid I’d blackmail you into something you
wouldn’t want.” It wasn’t a question.

She didn’t know where he was going with that but she wished he would stop asking her about it, so she said, “It fe
els weird owing someone.”

Her
pokerfaced response didn’t deter him, however.

“You think I
’d force you to pay me back in kind?” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, leave it,” she huffed, standing up to take the empty carton box to
the trash. She needed to put some distance between them.

I
t occurred to her that she ate well over half the pizza. She’d had five slices and that meant Harper had eaten three. Half way across the room she turned to him, eying him suspiciously.

“What?”

“Did you eat so slowly on purpose?”

“Huh?” He looked genuinely dumbfounded
, but with him one could never tell.

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