“That’s the one. Fuck I love that sound.” He pulled the sound from me again as he licked a path along my skin and then there was no room for his words, only the indecipherable sounds I made as I chased my release.
His mouth devoured me with an urgency I hadn’t felt from him before, almost as if he needed to hear me come as much as I needed to
feel
it, like we both knew there weren’t many moments like this left. My hips bowed against his mouth and I was shocked by how quickly I felt myself start to tense but
God I want you so deep inside me, I can’t breathe.
I realized I must have spoken the words out loud as Will growled against my skin. “You keep talking like that and I might not make it, Bambi.”
I felt a blush spread across my face as his eyes met mine. He was torn between wanting to finish what he’d started and bringing my words to life. I made the decision for him, pulling roughly on his hair, wanting the weight of his body over mine more than anything.
I blame the perfect fit of our bodies for what happened next, but really it came down to two people too caught up in the moment to think clearly. Will’s chest came to hover on top of mine, a tortured groan leaving him as he slipped easily between my legs.
“Fuuuckkkk.” He panted, dropping his head to the crook of my neck.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, shit, Em, it just, I didn’t mean that.” His words were genuine but still he made no move to pull out and reach for a condom.
I stayed perfectly still, perplexed at how easily my body had opened up for him, how natural it had felt, absent of the usual need for positioning or the slow back and forth movement of hips. He
literally
slipped right in, swear to God. I knew it was wrong, but it felt
so
right.
His head lifted to mine and I saw the same confusion I felt reflected back in his eyes. A mixture of
what the hell are we doing
and
please God don’t let this stop
.
“Tell me what to do.” His voice was raw.
I was silent for a beat, not wanting the pressure of calling the shots. “I don’t know, but I’m, you know.” Swallowing, I forced the words out. “Protected, I’m on protection.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “This is
so
not okay.”
I nodded in agreement but my traitorous body had other ideas, clenching him with a need for something,
anything
to ease the ache between my legs. It was all the green light Will needed, desire winning out over common sense as his eyes rolled back in his head. “Fuck it, I’ll pull out.”
He moved then, pushing in deeper still as my hips came up to meet him, a mantra of
fuck, fuck, fuck
leaving him through shallow breathes.
“Baby, I can feel your heartbeat going crazy.”
Baby. I recoiled slightly at hearing the word, my mind transported back to that horrible night, back to the only other time he’d used it.
Baby, please don’t cry
.
And even as Will moved above me, as my body almost sang with pleasure, I couldn’t stop the unwanted thoughts filling my mind. The idea that this was just a passing thing, that it would all come crashing down in the end and I’d wind up with a broken heart—that much I was sure of. I hated that I still didn’t fully trust him, but I couldn’t ignore it. I might have understood why he’d said what he had about Sarah, that what had happened was exactly as he said—no more than a one-night stand for both of them—but it did make it hard for me to put my heart in his hands and trust that he’d look after it.
“Hey, you’re miles away, what’s wrong?” Will stilled, his mouth moving to suck on the curve of my neck.
“I’m sorry. I just…I’m thinking too much.”
“What about?”
I moved my hips, wanting to distract him from having this conversation now. While he was
inside
of me. Will lifted his head to meet my eyes.
“Seriously, what is it?”
Looking past him up at the ceiling I said, “We go back to Manhattan tomorrow and I just, well…I like it here.” I paused, taking a deep breath before meeting his eyes. “I like being here with you.”
Will gave me a half smile. “I’ve liked having you here.”
His face fell when he realized I wasn’t being coy and he said, “Hey, c’mon, this is our last night. Let’s enjoy it. We’ll deal with the rest when we have to.”
He leaned down, giving me the softest kiss. “Please?”
I stared back up at him, wanting to ask what dealing with
the rest
even meant. But I didn’t, because I didn’t want to ruin the remaining time we had together. Whatever was going to happen next week or next month would happen, regardless of what was said tonight.
“Tell me how it feels.”
His brow creased in confusion until I moved my hips. “This. Tell me how
this
feels for you.”
He started moving again, leaning down to whisper in my ear. “It’s never felt like this, I feel like I’ll explode every time I move.”
I arched up into him and he groaned, back muscles bunching to stone under my hands.
“Never?”
“Never done this, never gone bare.”
I stilled at his words, shocked by the revelation. Will pulled his head back up to look at me, but before he could speak I was attacking him, pulling his mouth to mine as I hooked my legs around his waist, looking for any way to get closer to him. The knowledge that I was the only person he’d done this with made me crazy. Like no matter what happened after this night, I held a piece of him that no one else ever would.
He grunted into my mouth, swearing as I sank my nails into the bare skin of his shoulder. Pulling back onto his knees, he took my hips with him so both of us could watched where he moved in and out. Will’s breathing was ragged and a thin sheen of sweat had broken out across his chest. I felt the air leave my lungs when I met his eyes, all hungry, desperate and tender.
“You’re so fucking beautiful…I’m gonna lose it.”
He splayed his hand across my collarbone, rubbing up and down between my breasts and the movement was so possessive I wanted to latch onto the memory so I could say
see, remember how it was in that moment?
“I mean it, Em, I need you to get there.” His words were grunted out through gritted teeth.
Will’s movements became frantic and the mere sight of him losing control was enough to tip me over the edge. Over the blinding sensation running through my body, I was only semi-aware of Will’s words, telling me “Jesus you’re spectacular” and “It’s never been so fucking good” and “I want to come inside you so bad.”
And no sooner than I started to come down from my high, did Will completely lose control, driving into me with the force of a wild animal before pulling out, his hand flying up and down over his cock as he bellowed out a
Fuuuuckkk
, and spilled onto my chest.
My eyes raced between Will, eyes closed and chest heaving above me and the mess he’d made on my chest, both equally mesmerising. On instinct I ran my finger through the warm, sticky liquid, obsessed with how it looked against my skin. I looked up at Will again and I could tell he liked the sight just as much as I did, his eyes dark and jaw lax with satisfaction.
Eventually he climbed off the mattress, reaching to wipe me clean with the tissues by the bed. We didn’t speak the entire time, but we looked at each other with things left unsaid. He kissed me once on the mouth, not moving save for the deep inhale and exhale as his body recovered. Rolling me to my side, he tucked me under his arm and before long, I felt his breath even out into sleep.
Sleep evaded me though, my mind too caught up in trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Only a few days ago, Will Jensen had been a fantasy, a naughty fling I’d toyed with over the last few months but never actually believed would go anywhere. But now, in such a short amount of time, he’d managed to nudge his way under my skin. He owned me, and a large part of me, huge in fact, loved everything that meant. I wanted to throw myself in head first and trust that everything would be fine. But a small part, the part where my instincts kicked in and told me to protect myself, was niggling away at the back of my mind, refusing to be ignored. I’d let down my barrier and allowed Will to take and take and take from me, and all of the sudden I felt laid bare, no other cards up my sleeve. A part of me felt like I’d given him everything I thought he’d wanted and I was now at his mercy, waiting for the day he’d pack up my shattered heart and send me on my way.
I had fallen so deep into whatever this thing with Will was, that the work challenges that had initially caused me to steer clear of him now felt like a secondary issue. Maybe it was the fact that I was in the Hamptons, away from work and everyone else who had become a staple in my New York life. Whatever it was, I was starting to believe that it wouldn’t be such a big deal if they were ever to find out. Either way, at this stage I was more worried about a broken heart than a damaged reputation.
#
The next morning and the car ride home was comfortable, but as we drove through the streets of Manhattan, nearing my apartment, I felt the tension build in the small space.
Will pulled up to the curb, putting the car in park before turning to look at me.
“Well, thanks for a great weekend.” I smiled over at him, going for casual and knowing I looked anything but.
He smiled back, equally tense before taking my hand. “Can I see you this week?”
I’d love that more than anything, I didn’t say.
“Sure, that sounds good.”
Will grinned. “Great, I’ll call you then.”
I made to open the door but turned back. “Hey um, we still need to keep this between us, you know?”
Unless this isn’t just casual for you. If you feel the same way as me, then we can tell people, we can tell the whole world. I’ll take the risk for you,
I wanted to say.
Will’s easy expression didn’t change when he said, “Yeah, of course, our little secret. No biggie.”
See Emma? No biggie.
He leaned over the center console, wrapping his hand around my neck to pull me in for a kiss.
“See ya, Bambi,” Will saluted as he pulled away from me.
“Bye, Quarterback.”
#
I turned my phone off the minute I got upstairs, not wanting to hear anything from the outside world. Julia wouldn’t be home until the next evening so after cleaning up the mess I’d left the house in four long days ago, I climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep, dreaming of my perfect Fourth of July weekend.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“Morning Gabby.” I smiled at the receptionist as I came out of the lifts and into the Warriors foyer.
She beamed at me, raising an eyebrow. “Heeeeyyyyy Emma.”
Clearly I wasn’t the only one who’d had an awesome long weekend.
Walking to my desk, I pulled out my phone to switch it on, telling myself I didn’t care whether or not Will had messaged me overnight. Liar.
“Morning.”
I looked up when no one answered me, only to find four wide-eyed colleagues staring back at me.
Huh.
“Has something happened?” I double checked that Dana was in fact there, for a second fearing her dad had taken a turn. Yep, there she was.
Frowning at them all, I turned to switch on my laptop. “Did you guys all get high for the holidays or something?”
Two hands latched onto my arms, pulling me down the corridor and into a meeting room. Carrie shut the door while Dana walked me backwards into a waiting chair. “Hey, what’s all this about?”
“Don’t go all innocent with us lady…you know what’s going on.” Carrie stared down at me, her hands on her hips.
“Actually no I don’t…I have no idea. Would one of you mind filling me in please?” I looked from one to the other and back again, shaking my head even as a tiny voice at the back of my mind started yelling on repeat:
What if they know??
“Right.” Dana crossed her arms over her chest. “So you didn’t spend the entire weekend in the Hamptons with a certain quarterback.”
“WHAT?”
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.
Carrie held out her phone to me. “Looks like The Hamptons and Jensen to me.”
I took it from her hands, feeling my pulse shoot through the roof as I stared down at the image on the screen. There I was, standing on the beach, my lips locked with Will as he held me in mid-air. The caption read
Star Warriors quarterback, Will Jensen, spotted in a heated embrace with a mystery woman.
I scrolled down further, losing more and more air from my lungs as the images went on, some close ups of us laughing and hugging, plenty that were clear enough to easily make out my face and some that were just so…
intimate
. Not in a sexual way, but just private—moments that I thought were our little secret now broadcast to the world thanks to the wonders of the internet. I almost laughed as I got to the last image of Will diving into the water, the caption reading
Jensen clearly needed to cool off after locking lips with the mystery brunette.
If only they knew how right they were.
The weight of what was actually happening started to sink in and I bent over in the chair, trying to find extra air to fill my lungs. Holy shit, was I having an asthma attack? Was I asthmatic? How could I only be finding this out now?
“Hey, hey, calm down, Em.” Dana rubbed a hand over my back.
“Calm…down?” I wheezed. “I’m all over TMZ sucking face with Will!” I fluffed the front of my top out, pulling it away from my sweat-laden skin. Someone had definitely forgotten to turn the AC on this morning.
“Oh shhhhiiit,” I moaned. “The whole office knows, don’t they? That’s why Gabby gave me the eye this morning.” I looked from Dana to Carrie who were now both strangely silent. Weird, I didn’t actually think it was possible for Carrie to be lost for words. I vaguely registered my phone beeping like crazy loading missed call messages—like a soundtrack to my nightmare.