Light This Candle (Harlequin More Than Words) (7 page)

“If you set your mind to it, I’m sure you will.”

She would have thanked him for believing in her, but her cell
phone rang, interrupting her. She forced herself not to panic when she saw the
number of the ICU nurses’ station. “Cassidy Frazier.”

“Hi, baby. This is Rose from the hospital. There may be a heart
for Cody.”

CHAPTER SIX

Mitch had never moved so fast in his life. He and
Cassidy tore out of the apartment and down to his truck. He raced across town
like a formula one driver, using every offensive driving skill he’d learned in
the military. They sprinted into the hospital and didn’t slow down until they
were standing in the elevator watching the floor numbers ding past.

“You okay?” he asked Cassidy. Her face was pale, her eyes
unnaturally large.

She shook her head, and he pulled her into his arms for a
quick, hard hug. The fact that she didn’t protest was an indication of just how
distracted she was.

The door opened and he turned her loose. The ICU floor was
crowded with medical personnel he didn’t recognize. The only one he knew was Dr.
Mistler. “Who are all these people?” he muttered to Cassidy.

“Transplant team.”

She reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers until they
went numb as the doctors explained there had been a car accident in Columbus. A
young child who was a designated organ donor was in intensive care in the Ohio
State University Hospital and not expected to live. The team here needed to do a
series of tests to match Cody’s blood and tissue with the potential donor’s, and
they had to do it fast. She scrawled her signature a half dozen times on various
forms, and the team surged into Cody’s room.

He and Cassidy followed. At first the child looked alarmed and
his beeping monitors went wild. But then he saw his mother and his face relaxed.
The little boy looked over at Mitch and mouthed, “Hi.”

“Hey, buddy,” Mitch replied, grinning. Man, he admired that
kid. Feeling what had to be complete terror, Cody could still smile at him and
Cassidy. The child remained stoic through a series of pokes and prods and an
ultrasound of his heart.

And then, as fast as the mob had descended upon the ICU, it
disappeared. In a few minutes, only Rose Parker and the bedside nurse were
left.

“Now what?” Cassidy asked. Mitch heard the quaver in her
voice.

Rose gestured for the two of them to step out into the central
area. The woman closed Cody’s door behind them before answering, “Now we wait,
honey.”

“How long?”

“Until that poor child in Columbus dies.”

Cassidy slapped a horrified hand over her mouth. “Here I was
all excited about Cody getting better when some other family is about to lose
their precious baby.” She turned into Mitch’s chest and he felt tears wet his
skin through his shirt.

This compassion was part and parcel of why he was falling for
her so hard and fast.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rewind. Falling for
a woman? Him?

He turned the notion over in his head a few times and decided
it wasn’t so difficult to believe, after all. Cassidy was the most extraordinary
mom he’d ever met. Exactly the kind of mother he wished his own had been—

His thoughts derailed. He wasn’t doing some bizarre
need-fulfillment thing here, was he? Although his conscious mind denied the idea
adamantly, part of him doubted the denial.

“What do we do now?” Cassidy was asking the social worker.

“Go sit with Cody,” Rose answered practically. “See if you can
get him to go back to sleep.”

Still dumbfounded at the idea of falling for anyone, Mitch
followed Cassidy into her son’s room and went through the motions of cheering as
Cassidy and Cody played a few games of checkers. Thankfully, the hour was late
and Cody’s sleep schedule had been interrupted. The little boy soon tired and
Cassidy sang him to sleep so sweetly Mitch had to restrain an urge to weep. This
was not about his own lousy mother!

Cassidy tiptoed out of Cody’s room and he followed her into the
small private waiting room for the families of ICU patients. It was empty but
for the two of them.

She sat down on the sofa and he cautiously took the seat across
from her. She curled into a little ball, almost like a child herself. One he
desperately wanted to comfort. But they didn’t need any repeats of that kiss. Or
more accurately, Cassidy didn’t. He could seriously use another few thousand
kisses from her.

She declared without warning, “I’m a bad person for wanting
that child in Columbus to die, but I can’t help it. I want my son to live.”

“You’re not bad. You’re normal. Every parent wants their child
to thrive.”

She sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

He ached to move beside her and hold her, but he doubted she
would stand for it. Instead, they sat there in uncomfortable silence for some
time. The big clock on the wall seemed to be ticking at half speed tonight.
Realistically, it could be days before the child in Columbus was finally taken
off life support. But still, every few minutes he caught himself checking the
time.

Out of the blue, Cassidy asked him, “Where are we headed,
Mitch?”

He looked over at her. “What do you mean?”

“You and me. Where do you see this going? I wouldn’t normally
ask outright like this, but I have Cody to think about.”

Aloud, he answered, “I understand.” But in his head, a steady
stream of swearing erupted. He had no idea where they were going, or if they
were going anywhere at all. He’d really like to believe he cared about her for
her sake, but he couldn’t be sure. He had to get his head straight and figure it
out, but in a hospital, waiting for a heart for Cody, wasn’t the time or
place.

She spoke reflectively. “It’s been such a whirlwind since you
came into our lives. Less than a month. That’s not even close to long enough to
know when someone’s right for you. I do know you make me feel safe, though.”

He winced. “Safe” wasn’t much of a foundation to build a
long-term relationship on...if, in fact, that was where they were headed.

As if she’d read his mind, she added hastily, “Not just safe.
You make me feel alive, too.” She added shyly, “Like maybe you need me a
little.”

And there it was. The crux of the matter. As much as he hated
to admit it, he was starting to think he
did
need
her. But
why?
How was it possible to become so
attached to someone so fast unless his motives were completely screwed up?

He surged to his feet, pacing the confines of the room. She
was looking at him expectantly, but he didn’t have the faintest idea what to
say. His military training would insist that the best defense was a good
offense. For lack of any other ideas and beginning to panic, he turned the
tables on her. “Why would you even consider me?”

She frowned up at him in confusion. “I just told you.”

“Yes. But why
me?
Why not some
other reasonably decent guy who can make you feel safe by getting your car
serviced and fixing the house and paying the rent?”

Whoops.

“Paying the rent?” she repeated ominously. “Patches of Light
paid my rent.”

“Yes, they did,” he agreed a shade too hastily. He never had
been any good at lying. And now her mommy radar for fibs was on full alert. He
didn’t try to sustain the lie. “I wrote them a check and asked to have it
earmarked for you.”

She leaped to her feet, eyes snapping. “Why?” she demanded.

“Because you wouldn’t let me help you. I walked down that hall
the first night we met, and you took one look at my uniform and hated my
guts.”

“The military took away everything from me. My husband and best
friend, my life. And they left me with mountains of paperwork and forced me to
spend months fighting for the most basic health care for my son. Why shouldn’t I
hate the military?”

“I
am
the military,” he declared.
“Don’t you get it?”

“Are you saying you did everything...even kiss me...on behalf
of Uncle Sam?” she challenged incredulously.

“Of course not. But the same system that took away Jimmy and
made your life hell brought me to you. It can’t be all bad.”

“It is.” Her words were final. Implacable.

His throat tightened up terribly. “But if you reject it, you
reject me. It’s my career. It’s who I am.”

“I’m not changing my mind.”

Honestly, he couldn’t blame her—even if he did want to grab her
and shake some sense into her. He’d seen her suffering up close and personal,
though. An impossible ache in his chest, he headed for the door. “Then I guess
that’s it.”

He paused in the doorway only long enough to say, “Good luck
with Cody. He’s a great kid.”

* * *

Cassidy fell onto the couch, stunned. How had things
gone so wrong so fast? One second the two of them had been chatting like an old
married couple, the next they’d been yelling at each other and he’d stormed
out.

An unwelcome voice said quietly from the doorway, “Mind if I
come in?”

Cassidy really didn’t want to talk to Rose, but the woman had
been there for her so many times before, staying late into the night to mop up
her tears, that she couldn’t very well turn the social worker away now. She
sighed. “Come on in.”

Rose sat down on the other end of the couch and studied her
quietly.

“I suppose you heard some of that?” Cassidy asked
reluctantly.

“Yup.”

“And?”

Rose turned an innocent stare on her, which didn’t fool Cassidy
for a second. “And what?”

“C’mon, Rose. You know you want to say something about my fight
with Mitch.”

“I only wanted to remind you that sometimes, when people are
under great pressure, they have to vent some steam. I wouldn’t give up on him
just because the two of you had a spat in the middle of what must be one of the
most stressful moments of your life.”

“It was more than a spat,” Cassidy got out before the tears
came. And once they started flowing, it didn’t seem as if they were ever going
to stop. Things had been so good for the past few weeks, which made tonight just
that much more painful.

Rose held out her arms and Cassidy curled up against the
woman’s motherly bosom like a little girl. She cried her heart out. For Jimmy.
For Cody. For herself.

And then it dawned on her she was crying for Mitch too. It had
hurt her so much to watch him walk out that door. Out of her life. He’d looked
as if it must have been just as painful for him.

“I think I’ve made a terrible mistake, Rose.”

“How’s that, baby girl?”

“I just threw Mitch out of my life for good.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not as final as all that,” the woman
soothed.

“I don’t know. He was pretty upset. I said some awful things to
him. I told him I hated the military, and if he’s in the military, then I pretty
much hate him, too.”

“Do you hate him?”

“No!” she cried. “I lo—” She stopped, shocked. She’d been about
to say that she loved him. No way. Not after only a matter of weeks. It was just
a slip of the tongue, her mind reaching for the opposite of hate. She couldn’t
possibly love him even a little. But...

“I dunno,” Rose was saying. “The man who walked past me just
now didn’t look angry at all. He looked like he’d had his heart broken.”

“Really?” A momentary spark of hope flared in her breast, but
at the memory of the hurtful words she’d flung at him, it flickered and
died.

“Why don’t we worry about that later? I came to tell you that
the transplant team says Cody’s a match. They might have some news about the
condition of the child in Columbus on the hour. That’s in a few minutes. Why
don’t we go check on your kiddo and see what the docs have to say?”

Effectively distracted, Cassidy nodded. She blew her nose
obediently when Rose passed her a tissue, and the two women headed for Cody’s
room. Thankfully, her son was still sleeping.

A doctor she’d never met before approached her after she
slipped out of Cody’s darkened room. “The transplant team in Columbus thinks
we’ll have a heart sometime tomorrow. We’re going to spend the rest of the night
working at stabilizing your son a little more in hopes that he’ll come through
the surgery stronger. In the meantime, I suggest you go home and get a good
night’s sleep. Tomorrow could be a very long day.”

She nodded and then remembered that Mitch had given her a ride
over here. She frowned, staring down at her hands, too numb and exhausted to
solve this simple problem. Where was Mitch when she needed him to take care of
her?

“Problem?” Rose murmured.

“Mitch brought me over here. I don’t have a way to get
home.”

“I’ll give you a lift. C’mon. You look like you could use some
rest.”

But when she crawled into her bed, memories of Mitch refused to
leave her alone. She tossed and turned until she thought she was going to
scream. For a minute there, the two of them had almost had it all. But somehow
she’d managed to go and blow it. Worst of all, she already missed him.

* * *

Dawn was creeping around the edges of his curtains
before Mitch gave up on sleeping. He’d spent the whole night kicking himself for
being a hundred kinds of fool. Why did he have to go and throw it in Cassidy’s
face that he was part of the same military that had killed her husband and
ruined her life?

Their relationship was too new, too fragile to survive such a
blow. Was he just foolish, or was there some subconscious force in him trying to
chase her away? Was he
scared
of his feelings for
her? Was that why he’d pushed her away like that?

As soon as the thought occurred to him, he knew it to be true.
He was terrified of how fast and hard he was falling for Cassidy and Cody. It
was as if he’d been waiting his whole life for the two of them to come along.
But now he’d gone and lost them both.

He alternated between fury at himself and grief deeper than any
he’d ever known. Eventually he dug himself out of the emotional hole he’d thrown
himself into and turned his thoughts toward winning the two of them back. He
wasn’t a highly trained military strategist for nothing.