Authors: Lolah Lace
Kari pushed her ass back on my cock and I sank deeper into her. I hit the dam and almost knock
ed the cum from my cock. Damn, this is love. Being in love feels so good. Why does it ever have to end?
I continued to move my pelvis in circles until Kari took over. She began to roll her ass in circles, releasing and grabbing my cock tightly as she twisted her hips in an intoxicating
tempo. The progression was speeding up and sending little shockwaves to my balls that surged to the tips of my toes.
Jesus fucking Christ! Damn. I shot my cum inside her and m
y body quaked so violently I shook the entire bed and it slide across the hardwood.
Fuck! Fuck! I got to get out of here. I’m going to fucking cry. I
sluggishly removed my cock from Kari’s pussy. I held my lips together securely. If they open I may wail in agony. I may weep like a little girl. Be a man. I grabbed my clothes and turned away from her to dress.
I put my sneakers on while standing and I turned to the bed. Kari was balled up in the fetal position. She had pulled her t-shirt down covering her ass.
I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do? I walked to the side of the bed and bent over and kissed her on the cheek. She never opened her eyes. I backed away still watching her. I trekked down the steps as slow as a turtle. I reached for the front door handle and I felt a little leftover cum ooze from the head of my cock. I took one last look around and vacated the premises.
Mike was parked across the street waiting in the car. I walked to the passenger side and got in barely slamming the car door behind me.
A tear sprinted from the corner of my eye. I quickly swatted it away. Then there was another one. I swatted the other tear as I stared out the passenger side window.
“Hey Mason. Are you okay?”
Do I look okay? Idiot. “Shut the fuck up and drive.” I barked with an unsteady baritone. Mike took his eyes off me to start the ignition.
I sat in the passenger seat of my car. My heart had been ripped to shreds. I felt like I had just boxed ten rounds with Freddy Krueger and this was no nightmare on Elm Street. This was reali
ty at 269 Somerset Court. No matter what I said or thought about this situation, this is going to be hard for me, giving her up. Thinking of it hurts. This sucks. I need her. I had crossed the line. I went outside my marriage.
This heartbreak was my penance. The expensive pr
ice I had to pay for cheating, for thinking that my heart was not connected to my cock.
I was in shock. I had walked out on her. I had ended it. I watched as the sun disappeared only to be replaced with a gloomy dreariness that morphed into darkness.
Then came the rain. Mike turned on the radio and it had to be the biggest coincidence ever the deejay was playing
Here Comes The Rain Again
by the
Eurythmics
. I had to sit there and listen to Annie Lennox sing:
Here comes the rain again
Raining on my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you?
FUCK! ‘cause it’s pouring with me.
CHAPTER 8
Time passed at a ridiculously slow pace. I went to the office every day and buried myself in my work, contracts, permits, invoices and checks, business as usual.
Mike
was my shadow. I was my understanding that he is my support system but he was an annoyance. He tried to distract me but I was on my own distant planet in a galaxy far, far away. I moped around the office and I faked my happiness at home. I did all the things that were required of me but I had this odd thirst that could never be quenched.
When Mike was away I would type stupid messages to myself on my computer in a Microsoft Word document.
Week 1 without Kari: My heart hurts!
Week 2 without Kari: Infinity x Infinity = Misery
Week 3 without Kari:
Stop doing drivebys! It’s weird! It’s creepy!
Week 4 without Kari: Stop masturbating to her picture
. You dumbass! It only makes you feel worse.
Week 5 without Kari:
Delete the picture from your cell!
Week 6 without Kari:
Stop listening to sad songs before you grow a vagina.
Week 7 without Kari:
Stop drinking so much, alcoholism is not an option!
I dreaded the weekly visits to the couple’s therapist. In addition to the psychiatrist Tess saw once a week we also had therapy sessions. We had our standing appointment to see Donna Vondrak. She is a LCPC, a licensed clinical professional counselor. She came highly recommended by Tess’ psych doctor.
We arrived at her stuffy office. She took us in right away. I think Tess enjoyed these visits. I hated them. I had been sitting in the office for fifteen minutes before it was my turn to speak.
“I agree with Tess.” I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing with because I had been daydreaming but I had been to enough of these sessions to navigate through them without any problems.
“Mason, how has this transition been for you?”
“It has been insightful. I learned a lot of things about myself.”
“Like what exactly?”
“My personal flaws and weaknesses, I’m finding ways to successfully deal with the pressure of my job.” Blame everything on work. I could run my construction business with my hands tied behind my back. I remember when I tied Kari up. STOP IT NOW! Stop thinking about Kari.
I decided to say more. Get in tune with my feelings.
“It’s a balance. I’m learning to balance things and celebrate the good things in life, like my family.”
After an
entire hour of couple’s therapy I had been released. Time off for good behavior and good communication skills. Whatever. I couldn’t wait to get home to my kids.
*****
The summer was coming to a close. The beginning of the school year was here. I had been personally asked by the head of the flag football organization to coach one of the teams. The season started in September and the first game was today. I was trying to rebuild my marriage and I asked Tess if it would be okay with her if a coached. She said it was okay. I’m sure if she knew I sleep with a mother from my previous little league team she would have had the opposite answer.
There was no way I would cheat again. After Kari there was no other woman I even had a remote attraction to.
To say she destroyed me was an understatement but a true statement.
My team, the Mustangs didn’t have a game today but I was a referee for another team in the organization. It was the coaches’ duty to referee other team’s games when we were called upon.
I had just arrived to the field when I thought I saw Trey. He wasn’t in a football uniform. He was walking with another kid. It definitely was him. Trey was a little boy clone of his mother and Kari’s face was burned in my brain.
I
eagerly scanned the area for Kari and I couldn’t find her. Where is she? I want to get a glimpse of her. It had been eight weeks since I saw her last.
Now I’m lying to myself. I had parked across the street from her job a few times and silently stalked her.
Trey noticed me. He smiled and waved. I waved back and my heart kind of melted. Where is Kari? Trey went over to the other football field and sat down next to some older kids.
The football game started and my head wasn’t in the game. My adrenaline was on overload. I was hoping to see Kari. Just when I was on the verge of giving up she appeared. She was walking down the path toward the field in a bright pink The North Face jacket. The temperature had dropped. She was wearing her favorite color. She hadn’t noticed me or she was doing a damn good job of ignoring me. I wasn’t sure which one.
Kari went over to the opposite playing field where Trey was watching the game. My eyes followed her every move.
She looked the same but slightly different. Her hair was shorter, not by much, maybe two inches. She was in faded blue Levis. Time has not diminished my feelings for her. Kari is more beautiful than I remember.
The game was agonizing for me and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. My cock was doing weird things. I was tur
ned on by the sight of my Kari but I had to pee. I rushed pass the concession stand and rounded the corner to the park restrooms.
I shouldn’t have drunk so much water. It poured out of me and I thought I would never get out of the restroom. When I came out my eyes looked for Kari. I searched the park and stopped when I noticed this black woman with her hands on her hips. She was checking me out but not in a good way.
She was staring me up and down. It took a minute for me to recognize her. It was Toya, Kari’s friend from work. She marched right up to me. Her presence made me uneasy as I waited to hear her voice. I was overjoyed that there was no one around to witness whatever was coming my way.
“Mason.” Toya lowly barked.
“Nice to see you again Toya.”
“Yeah, uh-huh.” She smirked. “Stay away from my friend.
Stay away from Trey. Stop staring at Kari. It’s too stalkerish. You’re making things worse.”
“Kari is my friend too.”
“Mason, she’s not your friend. You fucked up. You hurt her enough. Now leave her alone.”
“This is a public place.
I can look at whoever I want to look at.”
“Dude don’t play with me. She’s over you. I’m not going to let you hurt her again. You’re a bastard.”
I ignored the slight. “Whatever it is I am it’s not your concern.”
“Look, any
thing dealing with my girl is my concern. She saw you outside her job.”
Fuck! “It’s a public street.
I can park wherever I want to park.” Did I just say that dumb shit?
“Please don’t make me call my cousins out here to fuck you up.” She
brazenly threatened. Why do black people always threaten to get someone to jump you?
“Call whoever you like.”
“Mason, I’m not playing with you. Leave her alone. You hurt her bad but she’s finally gotten over you. She’s seeing someone else now. You’re married. Why don’t you act like it? Stop playing with people’s emotions.”
Was I really playing with other’s emotions? I never thought of it like that.
“I’m doing the best I can.”
“Dude you can do better.”
“Are we done here?” I huffed. I was eager for this conversation to be ever.
“Mason, let her go. It’s a wrap.”
Toya rolled her eyes in conjunction with her neck. I guess that was her version of kick rocks. Kari’s friend slash bodyguard marched off giving me my much needed alone time.
The only thing that registered with me from the useless conversation was that Kari is seeing someone. I heard it. Maybe Toya was lying. Kari was single for more than a year before we hooked up. There’s no way she has a guy this quick. It’s only been two months.
What if it’s true? What if she’s sleeping with this mystery man? I was mumbling under my breath. Some little kid was staring at me. I need to head back to the football field. I had to talk with the coaches about the upcoming games.
Some of the
other things Toya said to me registered. I was mildly stalking Kari from a far. I didn’t know about her new guy but I would find out.
It only took me a week to get the info I needed. I learned more than I bargained for and it hurt like hell.
Toya was right. Kari had moved on. She was with someone else now and there was nothing I could do about it. No, there was one thing I could do about it. I could go to Bar Louie and drink myself to death. Maybe not to death but at least until my bonehead brother lifts me from the barstool and drives me home to sleep it off. So that’s what I did. Mike scooped me up and we went to the bar. I overindulged but as far as I was concerned I had an additional good reason. I had one more agonizing reason to add to my Word doc list at the office.
I was sitting at the bar as usual. I was in my favor
ite seat, the one second from the corner. I was being babysat by my little snot-nosed brother. He was my new mistress. He was my Dr. Drew and apparently I was in this never-ending intervention. I had a Kari problem and I guess Mike was trying to wean me off of her. To compare my love for her to drug or alcohol addiction is blasphemy. No matter what I thought before, like the notion Kari had put a spell on me or that Kari was some addictive drug. That was a load of bullshit. The truth was just plain and simple. I just love her. It wasn’t magic. It was that old fashioned basic emotion. Love.
I had six beers. As part of my intervention I was
allowed to get wasted on Fridays. Mike would once again act as my designated driver. Hockey season was over so I was watching baseball on the huge flatscreen TV mounted above my head. The Giants were playing and Pablo Sandoval is up at bat. I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the game. I didn’t really care anymore. Sure I pretended to care but I was going through the motions.