Love Conquers All (9 page)

“I’m sure the women will come to you.”

Women hit on me, but not in the same volume as men who hit on Monnique. She was a beacon of light calling lost ships to shore.

“How’s Hazel?”

“Good. She and Flynn are getting along well. He asked her to move in.”

Her eyes softened. “That’s wonderful.”

“But she said no.”

“Oh. Why?”

I shrugged. “She says it’s moving too fast, but I know it’s because she’s scared of getting hurt.”

She nodded. “I can understand. But Flynn is a great guy. I can’t see him doing that to her—to anyone.”

“Me either.”

She felt the stand of her glass, the water droplets sticking to her fingers.

“Are you dating anyone?” I asked.

“No.” She didn’t look at me.

I guess that was a stupid question to ask.

She pulled up her sleeve and looked at the time. “I should go. I have to get up early tomorrow.”

“I thought you were off?”

“I am. I’m going shopping with some friends. They like to hit the stores early to beat the crowds.”

I was glad she had people to hang out with. “Who are your friends?”

“I met them at the color run last weekend.”

“You did the 5k?” I asked in surprise.

“Yeah. I’ve been exercising a lot lately. It gives me more energy.”

I’m not sure why I felt so surprised. She was moving on with her life, not sitting in her apartment and crying all night. She had friends. She had a life. I expected this break up to be more complicated and difficult for her. But she was stronger than I gave her credit for.

“Cortland?”

I was snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for being my friend. The gang means a lot to me, and I would hate
it if I had to give them up. And I liked spending time with you.”

I didn’t know what to say. “I would never squeeze you out.”

“I’m glad we can see each other and not make it awkward for everyone else.”

“Yeah…”

“And if you want to bring a girl around, don’t worry about me. It won’t bother me.”

It won’t? I wouldn’t want to see her with some other guy. “I’m not serious with anyone.”

“You will be soon. And I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

What the hell was going on? How did it not bother her? The idea of
her being with anyone else made me sick. And I couldn’t be with anyone because it was fucking impossible. I couldn’t even get hard for another girl. When I was on a date, I couldn’t enjoy myself. All I thought about was her, the beautiful girl across from me. Her engagement ring still sat in my nightstand, unworn and unused. “Why are you so…okay with this?”

Her features didn’t change. She seemed indifferent, even bored. “I’ve let you go, Cortland.”

Let me go?

“I made a lot of mistakes and really ruined our relationship. I take responsibility for that and I accept the consequences of my actions.
I’ve really hurt you and I want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me. I don’t feel entitled to you. Actually, I don’t feel any claim on you at all. And my actions have affected other parts of my life; my health, my friends, my social life. I’m putting myself back together and trying to be a better person. I’m just grateful you’re willing to be my friend after everything I’ve done to you.”

“But you didn’t cheat on me,” I blurted. “You’re acting like you did.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending her. I guess she made herself sound like the most evil person in the world, which was completely untrue. She just made a few mistakes…

“But I took you for granted. And if you ask me, that’s worse.” She eyed the remaining people in the bar, the last people who stayed behind. “I left you for a stupid and immature reason and then I fell into darkness over my modeling career, which was also immature. I’ve hurt you a lot, Cortland. Don’t downplay that.”

“I’m not…
.I just think you’re being too harsh on yourself.”

“I’m not,” she said simply. “I threw away the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I hurt the person I care most about. You broke down in my arms, unable to handle all the pain I caused you.” Her eyes built up with moisture.” She too
k a deep breath and blinked it away. “That will haunt me forever.”

The pain on her face made me choke up. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stilled my emotions so they wouldn’t break to the surface.

She grabbed her clutch and her phone then stood up. “I should go. Good night, Cortland.”

I couldn’t move. “Good night.”

She left the bar. I sat alone, Monnique on my mind. Pain like I never felt convulsed in my heart. I didn’t want it to be this way. I loved her with my whole heart and wanted her for the rest of my life. It seemed like she changed so much in the short time we were apart. Maybe we could work this out. I clearly was getting nowhere dating people. But I didn’t go after her. I stayed in my booth, my beer sitting in front of me, untouched. The business card Jerome left her was still on the counter. It obviously didn’t mean anything to her.

8

Hazel

Flynn didn’t call me for the next two days. I didn’t call him.

I was hurt by everything he said to me. The fact he didn’t want to move in with me anymore really stung. It was a really big step for me, and I thought about it for a long time before I agreed. And now he didn’t want me.

Were we even together anymore? I wasn’t sure. Maybe that’s what he meant when he told me not to move in. I’d been dumped before, and that seemed like a break up to me. Couples fight, but they don’t kick you out of their apartment.

I already put in my lease break notice
and there was nothing I could do about it. They already rented out the apartment. Now I had nowhere to go. If Flynn screwed me over like that, then we must be over. And that knowledge made me sob over and over.

When I finally controlled my body so I wouldn’t cry for five minutes, I tried to figure out what to do. I needed to find a place to stay. I already sold my big furniture online because I assumed I wouldn’t need it anymore. I made a hasty decision and committed myself to Flynn, and as a result, I lost everything. I didn’t even have a dresser. My apartment was just a room full of clothes, shoes, and garbage.

I put off my arrangements long enough. I needed to find a place to stay, and there was only one person I could turn to. I called him.

“Hey,” Cortland said. “Lunch?”

I tried not to cry, not to lean on him. “Can I stay with you for a while?” The tears fell down my face but they didn’t escape in my voice.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t have anywhere to live…”

His voice changed, becoming serious.
”What happened?”

“Flynn and I broke up. I already put in my notice to leave the apartment, and now I have nowhere to go.”

“He fucked you over like that?” he asked incredulously. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“Well, he did. So…can I stay with you?” If he said no I was homeless.

“Of course you can,” he said immediately. “But what happened?”

“It’s a long story…”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Aren’t you at work?”

He hung up.

I put my phone on the ground and leaned against the wall, my knees to my chest. I didn’t even have a couch to sit on. My head fell back against the wall and more tears fell. I was scared to get hurt by Flynn and that’s exactly what happened.

I knew I shouldn’t have had Kyle at my apartment, and I completely understood why Flynn was upset, but I thought breaking up with me was harsh. I didn’t cheat on him. I never would. All Kyle and I did was talk. And when he asked me to be with him again, I told him Flynn was a million times better. I wish I recorded the conversation.

Cortland opened the door then spotted me on the ground, tears stained on my face. He gave me a sad look before he sat beside me. His arm automatically
moved around my shoulders and he pulled me close to him. I buried my face in his shoulder, grateful to be held by someone.

“What happened?” he whispered.

“Kyle came over a few nights ago. He wanted to apologize and then he asked me to be with him. I told him it was never going to happen and we talked about his break up with his fiancé. Flynn came over and saw. Automatically, he assumed the worst. And he’s pissed at me for letting my ex into my apartment.”

“Did you explain what happened?”

“Yeah…”

“He didn’t listen?”

I shook my head. “He was still pissed. He said we shouldn’t move in together and he left.”

“I don’t think that necessarily means he wants to break up.”

“I’m pretty sure it does,” I said sadly. “You didn’t hear everything else he said to me.”

“Has he called?”

“No…”

“And he knows you have nowhere to live?”

I nodded.

Cortland held me tightly. “That just doesn’t sound like Flynn.”

“Well, I never thought he would get mad like that but he did. He’s never been so mean to me. It was a side I’ve never seen before.”

“I’m sure it’s because he cares about you so much—that’s all.”

I closed my eyes and leaned into his chest. “I knew he would hurt me…”

Cortland said nothing. I’m sure he didn’t know how to respond.

“Maybe this was all a mistake.” I wiped my tears away. “I can’t keep a relationship. I’m so—”

“Stop.” Cortland looked down at me. “Don’t do that. There’s nothing wrong with
you. Every relationship has its hard times. We all make mistakes and we do stupid things. It’s trial and error. It’s never just a single person who’s responsible.”

“
It’s pretty clear Monnique was responsible for your break up,” I jabbed. Immediately after I said it, I wished I hadn’t. I knew Cortland was still sensitive about the topic.

“But we were st
ill in odd situations,” he whispered. “And I think she learned from her mistakes.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I’m just…explaining.”

“No, you’re defending her.”

He was quiet for a long time. “I guess I’ll always defend her.”

He held me against the wall, protecting
me with his arms. It was nice to feel loved by someone, that someone would always be there for me no matter what. Cortland was the family I was missing, the support I never had.

“I’ll help you move every thing after work,” he said. “I’ll get off early.”

“You’re going to leave…?” I couldn’t keep the sadness out of my voice.

“I won’t be gone long. And I’ll be yours afterwards.”

“Okay.” I didn’t want to let him go but I had to.

He kissed me on the forehead. “It’ll be alright. I promise.”

“Okay.” I believed him.

He left my apartment, and as soon as he was gone, I felt alone all over again.

9

Cortland

When I reached Flynn’s apartment, I banged my fist on the door like I was a giant. I wasn’t sure if he was home, but if he wasn’t, I’d hunt him down. I was on a mission.

He opened th
e door, his hair messy like he’d been sleeping all day. “Cortland?”

I punched him square in the nose. “You piece of shit.”

“Fuck!” Flynn stumbled back then felt his nose. He stood up straight then wiped the blood away. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You.” My eyes were wide with anger. “Nobody fucks with my friends and gets away with it.” I reached for his neck but he stepped out of the way.

“I don’t want to hit you but I will,” he threatened.

“Give me your best shot.”

He stepped away. “What’s this about?”

“Is that a serious question?” I snapped. “I can’t believe you dumped her like that, leaving her high and dry. She didn’t even do anything wrong. It’s not her fault you don’t trust her and you’re a damn hypocrite.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he yelled. “I didn’t dump her.”

“She thinks you did.” My arms were shaking because I was so mad.

“Well, I didn’t,” he snapped. He wiped more blood away. “She told you that?”

“Yeah. And then she cried in my arms, shaking.”

Flynn lowered his hands. “We just had a fight…”

“And you kicked her out of your apartment? Now she has nowhere to go so she has to live with me?”

Confusion spread across his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You ask
ed her to move in with you, and then after she breaks her lease, you just change your mind? Now she has nowhere to go. I’m not sure why I liked you. You’re a fucking coward.”

He looked at the floor then ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t know any of that…”

“What?”

“She didn’t tell me she put in her lease papers. And we aren’t broken up. I didn’t say that either.”

“She seems to think you are.”

He sighed then gripped his head. “I was just mad at her and needed my space. I did
n’t mean I didn’t want to live with her. I just didn’t want to move her stuff yesterday or today.” He grabbed his keys and his wallet and stuffed them into his pocket. “I’ll talk to her now.”

I grabbed his arm and stilled him. “Make
sure you fix this.” I threatened him with my eyes. I wasn’t a fighter, strictly a lover, but when it came to my friends, I was a completely different person.

Flynn pulled out of my grasp. “I will.”