“I think it's admirable what you're doing,” Vickie said. “I read somewhere that forgiving those who have hurt you is the most empowering thing you can do.”
“I don't know about that. But if God can forgive us for all of the dumb stuff we do, then it's only right that I forgive others for the things they've done to me.”
“Very true.”
“But there is one other thing.” Kristy took a sip of coffee. “I'm going to stand up for myself from now on.”
“You're kidding!”
Kristy chuckled at Vickie's amazement. “There's nice. And then there's too nice. I let Sarah and my dad treat me horribly. I can forgive them for it. But that doesn't mean I have to keep letting it happen.”
“Wow.” Vickie was clearly impressed.
“It was becoming a pattern. The two of them, then Mark. I was so afraid of hurting them, I allowed myself to be hurt over and over. So now that I've forgiven them, I'm moving forward. I would like to be friends with Sarah. But if she can't do that, I'm not going to dwell on it anymore. I've made my peace.”
“How about your dad?” Vickie had been her friend for a long time. She'd been there in college to witness every time Kristy's father had made plans with her only to cancel at the last minute.
“That phone call was a little less civil than the one with Sarah.” Kristy shuddered at the memory. “He just didn't get it. I honestly think he didn't think he'd done anything wrong. But I said what I needed to say. I'm letting it go. And I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that if I got married again, my prospective groom wouldn't be forced to ask his permission.” she sighed. “I can always wish that part of my life were different, that I'd come from a stable two-parent home.” she shook her head. “But I didn't. This is who I am. And I'm not letting it affect the rest of my life the way it's affected me up until now.”
“So you really think you can do it?”
“Absolutely. It was like knocking over dominoes. Once I talked to Mark and then threw out the list I made, it all became so easy from there.”
“How about Ace?”
“I haven't gotten quite that far just yet. I'm still not sure I can trust him.”
“If not him, then who? From what you told me about him, he sounds like a pretty amazing guy. Are you sure you don't want to even try to find out if he was cheating?”
“Not yet. I don't know if I want to know. What if he was? I'm not sure I could deal with that.”
“Speaking of cheating ... have you spoken to Ainsley lately?”
“Not in the last week or so. You?”
“Yes, actually. And I was going to wait and let her tell you, but since I have you on the phone, I will.”
“Tell me what?”
“Those letters we found in the shoe box? The ones you and I assumed meant Brad had been having an affair? Well, come to find out, she was right all along. They didn't belong to him. They belonged to the other guy who died in the same accident. Some of their belongings got switched accidentally when they boxed them up.”
Kristy drew her breath in sharply. She'd been so sure. It had seemed that there was no doubt that her friend had been wronged.
“You still there?” Vickie asked.
“I guess maybe sometimes things aren't always what they seem after all.”
“Can you say âjump to conclusions'?” Vickie replied.
“Do you think she knew how certain I was that they belonged to him?”
“You've never had much of a poker face. But I don't know that she paid much attention.” Vickie sighed. “Of course, I'm not much better. I wasn't as sure as you were that those letters belonged to Brad, but I did think it was mighty suspicious. Are we horrible people for thinking ill of a dead man?”
“I do feel bad about it. But the evidence was there and seemed so clear. Most anyone would've thought the same way we did. But I'm so glad it all got straightened out.”
“You know Ainsley. She didn't doubt him, even for a second.”
As she hung up the phone, she realized that was the piece she'd been missing. The not doubting someone, even for a second. In all of Kristy's relationships, it was as if she'd just been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She'd been anticipating the mistakes that would be made.
Maybe now it was time for her to take a leap of faith.
“Sure is quiet around here without Matthew and Mason,” Owen remarked one day as they were counting the money from the cash register.
Kristy felt certain his unspoken thought was that it was also awfully quiet without Ace to liven things up. “It sure is. But it's almost Christmas. Before you know it, summer will have rolled around again, and we'll be up to our eyeballs in tourists and seasonal programs.”
Owen grinned. “You have big holiday plans?”
“I'm probably going to keep it pretty low key. My sister and her family are coming in on Christmas Eve. We'll do presents at Mom's and have a meal.” she smiled. “I'm excited about it, actually. Sarah and I both got webcams, and I've been talking to Emma and Walker every few days. They've given me quite a Christmas list.” she noticed a gleam in his eye. “How about you?”
“I probably shouldn't tell you this.” He was gleeful. “But I can't help it. I just hope I can hold out until Christmas.” He bustled into his office and came back with a tiny box.
“Is that what I think it is?” Kristy asked.
Owen popped open the box. “If you thought it was an engagement ring for Dorothy, you'd be right.” He held the ring out so she could see it.
“It's beautiful.” And it was. A single round diamond flanked on both sides by sapphires in what looked to be a platinum setting. It was perfect.
He grinned broadly. “You think she'll like it?”
“I think she'll love it.” she put the ring back inside the box and handed it back to him. “Do you think she has any idea?”
“We've talked about it. But I don't think she'll be expecting it or anything.” He shook his head. “I can't thank you enough for introducing us. She's a special lady.” He got a faraway look in his eye. “And you know, it's weird, but I think she and Helen would've been friends.” He smiled. “I sort of think Helen is watching down over us, glad I'm not by myself anymore.”
“I'm sure of it.”
She gave him a hug, and he patted her shoulder.
Then he shifted from foot to foot.
“Listen, Kristy. I know this is none of my business. And I don't like to pry.”
She felt a lecture coming on.
“But I've noticed that you're the one who's alone now. And I don't like it.”
“I'm fine. No need to worry about me.” she patted his arm.
“No. You're not fine. You might say you are. But I know better. I've seen you sitting in your office. Even that yellow doesn't cheer you up anymore. Have you thought about calling him?”
No need to ask who “him” was. She sighed. “It's just not that simple. I said some horrible things to him. And I'm afraid I probably jumped to a rather awful conclusion. Why would he even want to talk to someone who was willing to automatically believe the worst?”
“Love's a strange thing. Filled with all kinds of forgiveness.”
There was that word again. Seemed to be haunting her everywhere she went.
She shook her head. “I don't even know how to get in touch with him now. He didn't exactly leave me his forwarding address.”
Owen bit his lip. “What if I told you that I know where he is? Would you want me to tell you?”
She sank down into one of the blue plastic chairs just outside of Owen's office. Did she want to track him down? He could easily say he didn't want to see her or hear what she had to say. Was she ready for that? Or if his reaction was positive, was she ready for that?
“I honestly don't know.” she played with the radio holder on the side of her belt. “Have you been in contact with him all this time?”
Owen looked sheepish. “I have.” He leaned against the door frame. “Look, Ace is a good guy. A little impulsive sometimes, but he has a good heart. If it hadn't been for him, I know I wouldn't have started going back to church.” He shook his head. “He really reached out to me, saw that I was going through a tough time. He didn't have to do that. He didn't know me from Adam. And he was the one who told me not to tell you that I knew where he was. He said that he hoped maybe, someday, you'd decide on your own that you wanted to see him again. He asks about you, though, in nearly every e-mail or phone call.”
For a split second, she felt betrayed. But she didn't blame Ace for not wanting her to know his whereabouts unless she asked for them. Maybe she wasn't the only one with a little pride.
“You know, I think I would like to know how to get in touch with him. Just in case I want to send him a Christmas card or something.”
“Right.” Owen nodded. “He moved back up north. He's been teaching history this semester at a community college.”
That made perfect sense. He would be a wonderful professor. “Do you have a phone number or anything?”
“Actually, he's going to be in Nashville this weekend. In case you're up for a road trip.”
She looked at him curiously. “Why?”
“Some kind of Civil War expo they're having at the convention center. He said he'd be there Saturday and Sunday. Thought I might want to come over.” Owen shrugged. “But I've already got plans. There's a men's retreat at Chickasaw. Some kind of father-and-son thing. Zach really wanted to go, so I promised him I'd fill in for his old man.” Owen beamed with pride.
“Wait a minute. Why is he going to be at a Civil War expo? He isn't that much of a Civil War buff. Those things are for hardcore fanatics.”
“I guess you'll just have to ask him.” Owen wrote down a number on a sticky note and handed it to her.
Kristy gazed at the phone number. Would calling it bring happiness? There was only one way to find out.
Kristy could hardly concentrate at work on Saturday. She'd made her decision. Sam was safely tucked away at her mom's, and come five o'clock, she was Nashville bound. She'd arranged to spend tonight with Allison, an old college friend, and after church tomorrow, she'd see what the Civil War Expo was all about. And hopefully run into Ace.
She'd decided against a phone call. It would only be awkward. Not that an in-person meeting would be much better, but it would beat the inevitable discomfort of trying to make amends over the phone.
Now that she was less than twenty-four hours from actually seeing Ace again face-to-face, she had to admit the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach was throwing her for a loop. She felt as if she were finally at the end of a long journey. There were many things she wanted to say to Aceâneeded to say to him, even.
For starters, she needed to tell him that now that she'd let the blinders of her past fall away, she no longer doubted him for a second. She knew he hadn't been cheating on her. Everything about him proved to her that wasn't a possibility. But even with her new faith in him, there was still a big unknown. What would his reaction be?
So she was going to do what she'd sworn never to do again. Take a leap of faith and hope that her heart was leading her down the path God meant for her to take.
Kristy snuggled farther into the fluffy down comforter in Allison's guest bedroom. She'd had a wonderful evening catching up over dinner with Allison and her husband, Scotty. They'd laughed and reminisced about their college days while looking through their old photo albums.
But now, in the silence, the reason for her visit to Nashville was keeping her awake. What would she say? What would he say? What if she was too late?
Try as she might, she couldn't fall asleep. Her head was too full of potential conversation. First, she'd play it as she hoped it would go; then the worst-case scenario. She figured, if she anticipated each version, come tomorrow she'd know what to say no matter what happened.
When the clock showed 2:00a.m., she couldn't take it anymore. She needed help.
Kristy climbed out of the cloudlike bed and sank to her knees. Perhaps if she turned her troubles over to the Lord, He would see to it that she got some sleep.
Kristy pulled her Jeep into the parking garage across the street from the Nashville Convention Center and turned off the ignition. Her heart had begun to pound harder with each passing mile. Now that she was actually here, she felt as if it might jump right out of her chest.
She glanced at herself in the rearview mirror. Thank goodness for good concealer. She'd woken with dark circles underneath her eyes, a sure sign of her lack of sleep. She touched up her lipstick and smoothed her hair. She'd worn it long and wavy because she knew Ace had liked it that way, but she was now regretting the decision. Maybe it was too much. She toyed with the idea of a ponytail but finally decided against it.
She climbed out of the Liberty and clicked the lock button on her key fob. Normally she liked the
beep-beep
sound her car made to signal the alarm was armed, but today it made her jump. She made her way across the parking garage and pushed the button for the elevator.
Ding.
A gray-haired gentleman emerged from the elevator, carrying an armload of books. He was wearing a kepi similar to the one Kristy wore sometimes for her rifle demonstration. She was in the right place. “Sir?” she called.
He stopped and turned. “Yes.”
“Once I get into the convention center, which floor is the Civil War Expo on?”
He gave her directions, and in a minute, she was on her way. Her pounding heart was now accompanied by a swirling feeling in her stomach. Once she was inside the convention center, she ducked into the nearest ladies' room and tried to calm herself down.
She stood in front of the full-length mirror. A red turtleneck, dark jeans, and her new black high-heeled boots had seemed like a good idea yesterday when she'd packed. But today, looking in the mirror, she wondered if it seemed like she was trying too hard. It suddenly occurred to her that she and Ace had never seen each other in cold-weather clothes.
She couldn't prolong the moment any longer. She wondered if he would just be milling about, looking at the different booths. Once inside the exhibit hall, she scanned the crowd for his familiar figure. It would be her luck if his plans had changed and he'd decided not to make the long trip to the expo. But she was here and at least had to try to find him.
A poster caught her eye. It looked like a number of Civil War authors were holding a joint book signing at the expo. Every now and then, authors came to Shiloh to do their research. Some of her coworkers had even been used before as sources for books. She scanned the list to see if there were any familiar names. Even if she didn't find Ace, she could always get some books signed to give to Owen and Hank for Christmas. As she ran her finger down the list, it lingered on one. Wallace “Ace” Kennedy.
Her breath caught in her throat. Ace? Was an author?
She looked again. Sure enough, there beside his name was the title
Gentleman General: The Life and Times of W.H.L. Wallace.
Wallace Kennedy. W.H.L. Wallace. Suddenly his knowledge of Ann and Will's love story made sense. He must be a descendant.
Why didn't he tell her? Had he been writing all summer? she thought back to all the times he'd shown up at work bleary eyed and tired. He must've spent his nights writing. And the way he lingered in the archives. And all the research books at his house. And the new laptop. Things began to fall into place.
“Excuse me,” she said to a man selling “authentic” Civil War bullets. “Do you know where the book signing is?” “Go all the way to the back. They're set up along that far wall.” He pointed a stubby finger to his right.
“Thanks.”
She made her way through the crowd to where she could now see tables of authors set up, stacks of books on each table. And then she stopped.
He did look scholarly in his crisp white button-down shirt, khakis, and tweed jacket. He was laughing at the person standing beside his table. Kristy stepped a little closer. A shapely blond woman touched his sleeve as she threw back her head and laughed. The tinkling sound met Kristy's ears. She'd have known that laugh anywhere. It was the woman from the phone call she'd overheard the night of the picnic.
Kristy turned quickly on her heel and all but ran out of the convention hall. She nearly knocked down two old men wearing Union uniforms as she made her escape.
“Watch it, young lady,” one of them called after her.
She didn't stop until she was safely inside her SUV. She dropped her head against the steering wheel. She shouldn't have come here. It was a mistake.