Meghan’s Journey: The Story of Meghan Redenbach: The Teenage Girl Who Showed a Community How to “Man Up” in the Face of Cancer (2 page)

Part One: Meghan Jean Redenbach

M
ichael Redenbach nearly missed the birth of his first child, Nicholas. In January of 1990 he was a new Corrections Officer for the state of New York, assigned to work at the prison in Ossining. He got the call from his wife, Nancy, in Pendleton at ten thirty in the evening. He made it back one hour before Nick’s birth at 9:03 a.m. He was there for what would be one of the most miraculous moments of his life, without having to share in the challenge of Nancy’s labor prior to the delivery of his son. One can only imagine the surprise and terror he would experience more than five years later when he was at Nancy’s side for the entire
progression of the birth of his daughter, Meghan.

Nancy reflected years later, “Meghan was trouble from day one; she didn’t want to come out. If she had been the first-born there wouldn’t have been a second.”

Hours into Nancy’s labor, Mike called his mother-in-law and agonized over what he believed no woman could ever survive, “I think Nancy is dying…”

On May 18, 1995 Meghan Jean Redenbach entered this world at 1:46 p.m. by emergency caesarean section, and nothing would ever be the same.

When Meghan arrived home from the hospital, five-year-old Nick promptly dumped his baby sister out of her bassinet; he simply wanted to hold her, and getting at her was not as easy as he thought. Nick adored Meghan right from the beginning. He wanted to feed her, hold her, and take care of her. He would forever serve to be a big brother and a friend. He never felt crowded or resentful of his little sister. The only exception might have been at breakfast time; Nick said they couldn’t eat at the same table while they were getting ready for school in the morning. The age-old sibling complaint of “you’re chewing too loud” was the conflict he remembered most. Nick smiled as he told of his frantic efforts to get Meghan out to the bus on time. “I didn’t want to be late; I didn’t want us to be the kids that held up the bus for everyone else. Meghan was not a morning person.”

Nick and Meghan played together at home and on vacations. Nick recalled camping at many New York State Parks and trips to North Carolina. He said Meg would often watch younger children while the adults were busy, and if those kids were a handful, she would be sure to tell their parents about it when they returned.

Nick’s friends never minded having her around either. Meghan was tough, liked sports, and could handle herself. When Nick was a little older, he and some of his friends would play street hockey in the family’s large driveway. He would dress Meghan up in hockey gear and have her play goalie. He instructed his friends to keep telling her how great she was so she would continue to allow them to keep shooting balls at her. The boys stayed and played longer, and Meghan actually became a pretty good goalie. Most brothers, even without a five-year age difference, wouldn’t have allowed their sisters to hang out with them, but it was never like that. Nick played games with Meghan, played catch and football, rode bikes, all the while remaining protective of her.

Meghan was a very precocious and curious child, but at the same time she didn’t get into mischief or things she wasn’t supposed to. She took her first steps at ten months old and spoke early as well. Meg soon became known as Jabber Jaws, and it was evident that she wasn’t going to be afraid to say anything anywhere. As with many children with similar attributes, Meg would also go on to embarrass her mother and father with her unique observations.

Meghan showed signs of being a free spirit in other ways during her childhood. Until she was four or five years old, Nancy had a hard time keeping clothes on her whenever she would drive somewhere in the car. Nancy had to extend her schedule every time she would travel alone with her daughter. Sitting in the back seat, buckled in a child harness, and out of her mother’s reach, Meghan would strip down to her underwear. It didn’t matter what time of year or what she was wearing, Meghan had to be redressed before they could continue on to their destination.

Dan and Debbie Howaniec were Meghan’s godparents. Like so many of Mike and Nancy’s friends, they became part of the Redenbach family and looked forward to babysitting little Meghan. From early on Meghan would be heard—often in fits of crying and screaming after her parents left. Debbie and Dan’s own kids would take cover, and they remembered thinking that Meghan was reminding them who the weak ones were. They survived to enjoy many family get-togethers, many involving competitive games. After Christmas dinner there would be Bingo, poker, and prizes! They always knew there was going to be a Meghan moment-she would get this look in her eyes when her turn was coming up, and they knew everyone else was in trouble; Meghan would not be the one to turn in her chips.

Meghan’s Aunt Joan once took five-year-old Meghan to a Christmas play at a local church with Joan’s godchild, Shannon. Meg was excited to get one of the Bibles that were being offered in the lobby after the program. She asked her aunt if it was called the HOLLY Bible because it was Christmas. She then asked her uncle if he wanted her to read from the Book of Guinness while he was enjoying a glass of the stout ale at the pizzeria where they ate dinner. Meghan and Shannon also discovered that they had better luck at computer Las Vegas Slots with the Bibles on their laps. After Meg returned from the fun sleep-over with her Aunt and Uncle, Mike called his sister to ask, “What did you do to my daughter? She’s gambling with the Bible on her lap!”

“Jabber Jaws” as she was, Meghan talked very little in kindergarten at Gasport Elementary School. Her teacher, Patty Russell, explained to her parents that Meghan, although participating and active, was silent most of the time. Mike and Nancy just looked at each other; this teacher could not be talking about their daughter. It was not long before that would change.

Meghan began her career in sports as a Pee Wee Cheerleader for the Loyal Football Program. Nick was already a quarterback for this community sports organization which now involved the whole Redenbach family. This was where Meghan first began to reveal not only her animated spirit, but the dedication and competitive drive that enveloped her whenever she committed herself to an activity or sport. It didn’t matter what it was, Meghan took on everything with gusto.

Cheerleading was just the beginning. It wasn’t long before Meghan began talking more in school. Mrs. Russell told Nancy she believed this involvement had helped Meg to open up, speak more, and express herself in class. Something she clearly didn’t struggle with outside of school.

Like many children during their elementary years, Meghan loved to stay busy. Each night she would ask, “What are we doing?” She did not like to sit around. Meghan loved crafts, especially for the holidays. She loved making cookies and getting dressed up in the Halloween costumes made for her each year by her godmother, Debbie
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Although working full time as a teacher’s aide in the Williamsville School District, Nancy also volunteered at Meghan’s school. Each month Mike and Nancy would design and create a bulletin board for the front hallway. Meghan loved to go into school in the evening and help with this.

Meghan was memorable to every teacher she had. Dan Verdi remembers those images of his fourth-grade student:

I remember the thick, brown hair and the full-cheeks of her face. I remember her just floating up to my desk to hang out (when I asked her what she needed, she’d just reply, “nuthin’” and smile). She always had a smile on her face. She’d pass on messages from her father whenever the Yankees weren’t playing well (Mike being a big Red Sox fan and me a Yankees’ fan), with all the sarcasm she could muster (“What happened to the Yankees last night? They lost…”). Some days, she’d just ask me if the Yankees won the night before and smile, knowing full-well they didn’t.

Both Meg and Nancy organized a class “Thank You” gift for me that year, a folding summer chair with all my students’ names embroidered on the seat, my name on the back support. It’s in my classroom today and sitting next to me as I type. I vaguely remember Nancy mentioning after-the-fact how Meg helped get word to the kids in the class and collect money during the school day, all unbeknownst to me.

Katie Fisk was frequently entertained by the often precocious Meghan:

When Meghan was in 5
th
grade, I had the privilege of spending most of the day with her. I especially enjoyed our daily morning banter. I always met the students at the door each day to greet them. This was Meghan’s first year in the middle school, therefore her first year getting up an hour earlier for school. Every day as I would greet her with, “Good Morning!” She would sigh and reply various comments such as, “Bad Morning, Mrs. Fisk! I haven’t had my coffee yet.” I think it was something that we both came to enjoy as the year went on, because the comments kept coming as to how many cups of coffee she needed and eye rolls on days I would greet her (on purpose) in an especially chipper way.

Meghan was also on my Jump-Rope-A-Thon Team for the 1
st
Annual Middle School Jump-Rope-A-Thon. She actually helped plan and run it with our class that year. She was determined to win the T-Shirt Design Contest. She came up with a plan with the help of a friend to make these t-shirts. The girls stayed after school and taught ME how to tie-dye shirts. I always loved her can-do attitude. I remember telling her that I had never tie-dyed shirts before and she said something to the effect of, “We’ll figure it out. We can do it. We’re definitely going to win.” She was right; they did win!

Another memory of Meghan that comes to mind involves her thoughtful character. We lived down the road from Meghan when she was my student. I remember her talking at school about how horrible my driveway looked after a snowstorm. I can’t remember what was wrong with our snow blower, but I do know that I came home from school one day after the next storm and my driveway was completely clear. When I asked Meg if she knew something about it, she said that she told her dad to do it. I still smile picturing how sweet she was.

Elementary school was a time for growing and learning, but with middle school came a little drama and Meghan’s intolerance for most of it. Even then, Meghan was an old soul who seldom had patience for girls fighting over boys, bad behavior, or general adolescent spectacles. So many days she would exit the bus at the end of her driveway to come home huffing and puffing about the day’s events, adding a little drama of her own.

Gerry Rahelich can still see her sitting in his seventh-grade social studies classroom:

Meghan sat in the second seat, in the back, middle row. Pardon the stereotype, but she was truly a blonde. Meg had a wonderful laugh; as I usually had to explain the joke to her, she laughed the loudest. I kept thinking to myself that she would someday be a cheerleader, prom queen, and a heartbreaker. I never thought she would turn into the athlete that she would become. She was the first of her peer group to discover hair and make-up and clothes and the typical seventh grade girl-stuff, and she did it the most and the best. One memory that really sticks would be her obsession with perfect writing; I was constantly bellowing, “Redenbach! Copy the notes—don’t engrave them!!” Or when she would stop to erase for the umpteenth time, “The world isn’t perfect, so why should your paper be? Just CROSS IT OUT!!”

Meghan was remarkably open and straightforward with both of her parents about her own feelings concerning boys and the role they might play in her life. She readily accepted her father’s proclamations that boys only wanted her “picnic basket.” One day her mother found a note Meghan had exchanged with a friend, its contents revealing a kiss she had shared with a boy. Nancy asked about what her father would say; Meghan very matter-of-factly replied, “Well, it was going to happen sooner or later!”

It is hard to imagine that seventh grade would be the last school year that Meghan would enjoy as a care-free teenager. In spite of that, she would strive to be a great student, a committed athlete, and a happy girl.

Meghan and Nick playing in leaves

The flower and astronaut Nick
Meghan always loved Halloween and her costumes.