Mine, Not Hers (True Love Book 1) (2 page)

"Why did you leave? The party was so crowded it took Kevin and me forever to look for you. We bumped into Jason and he said you had left. You should have told me, I would have walked with you. Of course, spending time with Kevin wasn't bad!"

She giggles. "He is so cute!”

"What about Pete?"

"Well, maybe some time apart wouldn’t be so bad."

Traitor. I can’t believe how quickly she jumped from Pete’s boat to Kevin’s.

"Anyway, a friend from back home said he was flirting with someone in class. Serves him right."

She’s clearly nowhere near as tired as I am. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open while she talks about Kevin.

"Kevin was talking to Jason when I was leaving, and I thought I heard Jason say your name."

That
I hear. I sit straight up.

"
What
? How does he know my name?"

"I don't know, but I think he was asking Kevin about you. Kevin didn’t know anything, of course, so Jason walked away like he was angry. Did you talk to Jason tonight?"

She looks hopeful.

"He walked away from me like I was contagious when he saw me at the party. I ran into him outside, and he offered me his jacket. I have no idea what his game is, and I'm not playing anyway. He doesn't need to do me favors because he feels sorry for me."

I feel a lump form in my throat as I’m saying those words.

"Well, if it’s any consolation, I don't think he feels sorry for you. He seemed agitated, or something. I’ve never seen him act like that. He's usually a pleasant guy."

I roll over to go back to sleep. This is too much for me to handle. I don't have much experience with boys, and certainly not ones of his stature. I'll just stay out of his way.

* * *

I meet Colleen outside her house at eight o’clock sharp on Monday morning, and she looks as if she’s going to burst. Kevin called her on Sunday, and they talked for three hours. He asked her out for the following weekend, but she doesn’t know what to do about her boyfriend Pete.

“He's sweet, but we’ve been together so long, and I think a change may be good for us both."

So much for my single friend; I'll never see her again if she and Kevin get serious. Great. I’m wallowing in self-pity when I feel her nudge my shoulder.

"Hey, look, it's Jason! He's walking with Kevin."

She runs up to them and gives Kevin a hug. I would give anything for that amount of confidence. She turns to Jason, and says something to him. I know what’s coming next; sure enough, she turns and motions for me to join them. Jason says something to them, tosses a quick wave goodbye and walks ahead, alone. She turns and gives me a pitiful look, and I feel like I’m going to burst into tears.
For what
? I don’t even know this guy! Yes, he’s gorgeous, but there’s something else. I feel an electric pulse in my gut when he’s near me. I'm sure every other girl feels that as well. He
is
very easy to look at and dream about.

I say goodbye to Colleen and, despite my mood, make it through my first couple of classes without crying or punching something. When the bell rings for lunch, I feel a pit in the bottom of my stomach. He and I have the same lunch period! How can I possibly avoid him when he’s the center of this high schools universe? Then I remember there’s a nice outdoor seating area behind the cafeteria. I’m thankful that I chose to bring my jacket today, because that’s where I’ll be eating lunch from now on. I don't want to go inside, because I know I won't be able to keep myself from looking for him. I opt for some chips and a soda from the vending machine outside, and grab my spot for the next thirty minutes.

Thankfully, I’m alone. It’s too cold today for anyone else to choose this option. This is a private area probably built with loner kids in mind. The back wall of the cafeteria is brick, so no one can see me. I take a deep cleansing breath and sit down ready to read my book. I really need to relax. I can’t think of a worse way to start my Monday morning than with more of Mr. Personality’s pouty drama. Just as I’m nice and content, I hear leaves crunching behind me, and that feeling comes again. My insides are quivering before I look up.

"Is anyone joining you?"

I turn my head slowly from side to side, at least that’s what my head was instructed by my brain to do, which right now feels as useful as a bowl of pudding. He sits down on the bench on the opposite side of the table. We both sit stock still in an electrified silence. He breaks first.

"My name is Jason. Jason Weber."

"Hi. Katie Barnett"

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night at the party. Colleen told me that you thought I was rude. I guess I was. I didn’t mean to come across that way. You caught me off guard,” he says, while inspecting the table.

I remain so still I can barely tell if my heart is still beating. I’m confused. What’s he trying to tell me?

"What? What does that mean?"

I say that much louder than I intended. Obviously, I
had
noticed something. He’s visibly uncomfortable after my outburst.

“I don’t know how to say this without sounding crazy, but you took me by surprise. At least my reaction to you did. I feel compelled to get to know you."

Yeah, right. I hear that one everyday from gorgeous hunks.

"Look, I understand that I'm new to this school, so if someone put you up to a prank, I get it. You’re free, you can tell them that it worked and have a good laugh."

He looks hurt. This can’t be happening. Does he really feel that way? It’s not possible. He's the most beautiful guy in the entire school, even the teachers check him out. My reaction to him was understandable. His to me? No.

"Well, I'm sorry I disturbed you. Nice to meet you, Katie."

With that, he stands up and walks back up the path. I stare dumbfounded at his back as he walks away. He doesn't return to the cafeteria to be with his friends, he heads in the opposite direction. Am I awake? Was that a dream? He seemed sincere. More than sincere, he seemed…
compelled
, just like he said. Like a force stronger than himself physically forced him to come and talk to me. Now I feel even
more
alone than I did before he sat down. Like Earth tilted just a bit, and everyone but me flew off. His eyes looked so deeply into mine. I've never known a feeling like that before. I feel
exposed
.

The bell rings loudly and jolts me out of my trancelike state. I don’t know if I can get my brain to make my legs work. He was only with me for a couple of minutes, which means I’ve been daydreaming for half an hour. I have to shake loose the euphoria surrounding me to stand and walk to my next class. I feel a little
off
. I'm bumping into people in the halls, and I know my body is in the chair in class, but I can't seem to process anything being said. Like I’m an alien floating around above who doesn't speak the language.

Thankfully, the day is almost over. Crap! I have P.E. next. I don't know what we're doing in class today, but I saw him during this class on Friday. It's possible I might melt if I see him. Colleen comes bounding up to me.

"Hey! Where were you at lunch? I looked all over for you. Kevin saw that I was alone and came and sat next to me. We talked the entire time; I didn't even eat! He is so sweet. He asked me out for Saturday. Well, kind of. There’s a bonfire that some kids are having at the lake, and he asked if I was going. You have to come with me."

Before I can respond, the P.E. teacher blows her whistle and tells the class to get dressed and meet in the gym. We're doing basketball today. Thankfully, that means no more accidental meetings outside on the field with Jason. I don’t know how much my poor heart can take in one day.

The following week goes by achingly slowly. No sign of Jason at all. I’ve been replaying our meeting in my head, wishing he would give me another chance to not make a jerk of myself. Trying to avoid running into him in the cafeteria, I keep to my routine of eating outside. The weather is cooperating for this time of year, so that’s a good excuse.

Colleen has been mooning over Kevin every chance she gets. Lunchtime is their time together. The football game on Friday is away, and Colleen's parents are going out so she’s watching her brothers. I opt to stay home and read instead, but in exchange I agree to go to the lake with her on Saturday. Kevin is meeting her there with his friends. I’m hoping this may be a second chance with Jason.

* * *

Even though I’m petite, I can still work some curves if the jeans are tight enough. Mine are so snug, I have to lie down on the bed to zip them. I put my hair back into a thick ponytail, knowing that around the lake it will frizz like crazy. I throw on a light blue Polo sweater and boots. I know it’ll be cold and windy so I grab my jacket as well. A little mascara and lip gloss, courtesy of Colleen, and I’m ready. My mom agrees to drive us - she’s fallen in love with Colleen - but the real reason she’s so eager is to get a chance to check out our other friends.

She drops us at the public beach entrance to Lake Michigan. The sun is going down, and we see a small group of kids on the beach. One of the girls calls out Colleen’s name, and she grabs my hand to amble down to where they’re sitting. Kevin is already here with two friends that I recognize from the party. Jason is nowhere to be seen. Even though I know she wants to go hangout with him, Colleen proves a good friend and stays by my side. She introduces me to the other girl, who then introduces us to two more. They all seem nice. I give her a little nudge to let her know it’s OK for her to go and sit by Kevin. She takes the cue instantly, and smiles a huge smile as she walks - no
struts
- over to him. She makes me laugh.

He and his friends are trying to get the fire started before the sun goes down, and they’re having trouble. They’re all laughing, and he can't seem to take his eyes off of Colleen. I’m sitting with the other girls on a large tartan blanket. One of the girls, I think her name is Missy, is surveying the slowly growing crowd around the pit.

"Do you think he's coming tonight?"

Her friend rolls her eyes.

"I don’t know! You need to give that one up. He doesn’t date. Mr. Football doesn’t waste his time, and if he did, it would be with me!"

They both start laughing. I have a sinking feeling I know who they’re talking about. As his image pops into my head, Missy squeals.

"Oh my God, he's here!”

My stomach drops like I’m parachuting down from the moon. I
feel
his presence again. He’s walking with another guy from farther down the beach. The sun has disappeared into the sky already, making it difficult to see anything from a distance. His height is a dead giveaway. He stops when he reaches the fire pit, which they’ve finally set ablaze. I like that I can watch him from over here without fear of being noticed. Our blanket is a few feet behind the fire, and we’re shielded by the glow of the large flames. He waves to Kevin, and then sees Colleen. As soon as he sees her, I notice his head jerk up and look around like he’s searching for something. Me? Ha. I sound just like those other girls, fawning over him and pretending like he’s in my reach. He’s already apologized; maybe he’s just trying to avoid me. Again.

I see him ask Kevin a question, and he points over to the blanket. I feel like I’ll pass out on the spot. What should I say? He approaches the blanket, and I realize he’s headed for the cooler of beer and soda next to us. Missy is the first to speak up.

"Hi, Jason!"

He looks our way, and I can tell he’s having difficulty seeing in the dark.

"Hi. Sorry I can’t see you, hang on."

He turns and heads in our direction. The other two girls squeal again, barf, as he approaches us. I turn ever so slightly to put my back between us. Maybe he won’t notice me, and leave.

"Oh, hi, Missy. Good to see you."

He is so polite. She squeaks out another “hi” with a dry mouth. I, on the other hand, can't try any harder to make myself turn into a crab and dig a home right here in the sand. He turns to head back to the fire. Whew. Just when I think I’m safe, I hear him say quietly, "Bye, Katie." The girls stop what they’re doing and stare at me like I’ve sprouted horns.

I say, “excuse me," and stand up. I have no place to disappear. I go to the cooler and pull out a Coke. I am so grateful I brought my jacket; the temperature is really beginning to drop. I’m stuck. I don’t want to go to the fire where he is, and don't want to stay with the other girls and handle the inquisition. I head down the beach for a walk; it’s my only option.

The air is crisp and the fire smells good. My mom isn’t picking us up for another two hours yet. Maybe I can have Kevin drive Colleen home, and I can find a place to call my mom. She'll give me the third degree about why I would want to leave early. I can handle her, but the humiliation of going back to the fire and facing him is far more difficult.

I've never been to this area of the beach before, and realize it’s going to be tough to find a pay phone. I resolve to keep my distance until it’s time to leave. I turn to walk my fourth stretch of beach, and I see someone approaching me. I’m nervous when I catch a glimpse of the fire way down the beach, and see just how far away I’ve meandered. As if on cue, I hear a deep voice.