Moments of Reckoning (13 page)

“I sure will. Love you too
, baby boy, take care of yourself.”

“
I will. Bye, momma.”

“Bye
, darling.”

The remainder of the morning was spent with me lying on the couch falling in and out of consciousness due to the slight hangover I was rocking from all that draft beer
the night before with Xavier. I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep when my cell phone started ringing off the hook. I managed to ignore it the first two times it rang without even as much as glancing at the screen to see who it was, but as the third time rolled around I knew I better answer it.

“Hello?”

“Jason! Where the hell have you been!? We’ve been trying to reach you!”

“What!?
Calm down, Abby! What the hell is going on?”

“They may have found Matthew!!! The police called the Davis’ while Xavier and I were over there about half an hour ago. They said someone had seen a truck that looked like the one described in the press conference with a man who looked a lot like Matthew driving it.” Elliot and Lisa are on their way down to the station because Detective Cooper took some officers out to investigate the spotting.”

“You’re kidding!? Where are you and Xavier now?”

“About to pull in your driveway!
Get your ass in gear and come on!”

“I’ll be out in a second…”

Jumping up from the couch, my phone landed on the floor as I sprinted down the hall and into my room to change.

∙∞∙
 

“Jason
, will you
please
sit down…You’ve been pacing the floor for almost thirty minutes now,” Abby begged.

“The Davis’ and Detective Cooper have been back in his office long enough. When are they going to tell us something?” I complained while running my hand over and over through my hair.

“Come on man, sit down…They should be out anytime. Plus I’m almost positive you’re about to wear a hole through the tile,” Xavier chimed in.

We had been sitting
at the San Diego Police Department for over an hour. Detective Cooper, along with a few other officers, had come in almost half an hour earlier. Without saying a damn word to us, he pulled Hannah’s parents, Elliot and Lisa, into his office and shut the door. I was about to lose my damn mind if they didn’t come out soon and tell us what was going on. About that time the door to Detective Cooper’s office opened and out stepped a very distraught Lisa Davis. The look on her face was like a hard punch to the gut.

Please don’t tell me they found her body…

One of the officers took the Davis’ into the conference room across the hall as Detective Cooper made his way over to us.

“Can you all please follow me into the conference room right down the hall
?” He spoke with little emotion, which was never a good sign.

I looked back at Abby and Xavier, who
looked as frightened as I felt. My stomach was turning upside down and I felt like I could lose my lunch on the shiny white tile floor in front of me any second. The ringing in my ears drowned out the noises around me, leaving my heavy breathing as my main focus. Turning into the doorway of the conference room I locked eyes with Elliot who gave me a sad smile that didn’t touch his eyes. I instantly knew we weren’t about to receive good news.

“There is some water at the back of the room if anyone would like a glass
and feel free to sit wherever you’d like.”

Skipping the water, I sat down in the first seat I could find. Abby and Xavier followed suit and sat next to me with Lisa and Elliot on the other side of Xavier.

“As you all know, earlier today we received a tip about a truck that was possibly Matthew’s. I had sent a couple officers out to investigate the tip and found that the truck was indeed the same make and model as the one the witnesses gave us previously. It was parked outside a local bar on the outskirts of downtown. Instead of entering the bar I had the officers hang back and surveillance the truck in hopes that the driver would exit the bar shortly after. A few hours passed before we sent an undercover officer inside with a photo of Matthew. After scanning the inside perimeter he realized Matthew was not within the establishment even though the truck was still in the parking lot. The officer showed Matthew’s photo to the bartenders on duty and they did identify that he was in the bar not long before the officers showed up. The bartenders said they stopped serving him because he was carrying on a conversation with himself and was soon distraught over something. Apparently he had seen the police car and escaped out the exit by the restrooms without being noticed by the officers. He must have either traveled by foot or caught a cab because we canvassed the area in a four block radius and found nothing. After the crime scene investigators arrived they searched the vehicle and found the handbag Hannah had been carrying the night she went missing. Unfortunately, this is all we have right now. Matthew is our prime suspect now and we will stop at nothing to bring him in and locate Hannah.”

Looking at the small purse Hannah was carrying that night laid out in front of
me caused me to lose it. I slammed my fist down on the table startling everyone in the room and rose to my feet.

“Why the
fuck
didn’t you go in there the second you saw the truck!? How the hell could you all just sit back knowing there was a good chance he was in there and do nothing?! Hannah may not have much longer to live, that’s saying that she
is
still alive, and you all decided to do surveillance allowing him to leave out the back exit! You have got to be kidding me…”

Before I could continue on with my rant I felt hands on my shoulders and turned to find Xavier standing there.

“Not here, Jason...They can lock your ass up faster than you can count to three. Let’s go outside.” He spoke firmly.

“Tha
t would probably be a good idea,” Detective Cooper chimed in.

“A good idea?!
Hannah’s out there, somewhere, fighting for her life and you think it’s a good idea for me to go outside because I’m pissed off at the lack of good police work we are dealing with!!”

Trying to pull from Xavier’s hold I felt more hands on me as I saw Elliot on my other side.

“Come on, son, we are all emotionally torn to shreds over this and you getting arrested will not help anything. Let Xavier and Abby take you home, I’ll call you later.”

“I’m fine…” I spat as I pulled from Xavier’s grasp and headed out the conference door, letting it slam loudly behind me.

Before I knew it I found myself outside the police station bumming a cigarette off a stranger. Luckily he had one, after having him light it I slowly inhaled the smoke into my lungs.

“What the hell are you doing?! You haven’t smoked in
a year, Jason…” Abby’s voice came from behind me.

“Abby
, I can’t take it anymore, I’m about to lose my damn mind if we don’t find her. I can—can’t even begin to think about the stuff that piece of shit has done to her. He better pray to god she is alive when we find them or I will kill him myself.”

“Yes
, we will.” She almost whispered as Xavier pulled up to the curb.

Putting the remainder of the cigarette out
, we walked to the car together.

Chapter 20
Hannah

I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting there, frozen in the spot Matthew had left me in. My tears were all cried out and my head felt like a fog had consumed it. My body felt as if it was going to give up at any moment and honestly I couldn’t muster up enough emotion to care. But I knew when Matthew came back he was going to be the evil version of himself that I was terrified of.

I remembered the knife I had thrown under the mattress when I had managed to escape.
Tears pricked at my eyes because I knew now that I had a way out, I had something that I could protect myself with, but I also knew that I would have to hurt Matthew to do so. My heart was torn in two. Do I save myself and hurt Matthew or do I risk him hurting me in hopes that someone will find me? I pulled the knife from under the mattress and slid it into the back of my pants before I laid back onto the mattress and closed my eyes. The silence was peaceful for once as I found myself falling away from the insane world I currently lived in.

∙∞∙

“You can’t just run away with him Hannah! Are you insane? He isn’t like us…” Megan quietly scolded me during our Algebra class.

“I’m not running away with him!!! Matthew and I are best friends…We love each other and his
parents are going to take him away from me, Megan! He is more like us than you know, just because he is a little different doesn’t make him a monster.” I angrily whispered back at her.

“
Hannah and Megan, am I going to have to separate the two of you?” Mrs. Cunningham asked.

“No ma’am
,” We responded in unison as I shot Megan a death glare.

∙∞∙

The sound of a vehicle ramming into the side of the warehouse jarred me awake.

“What the hell…” I groggily said as I sat up on the mattress.

The darkness in the warehouse made it hard to see as the warehouse door swung open and the truck headlights showed a staggering Matthew coming through the door.

“Where the
FUCK
are you, Hannah?!!!” he yelled angrily.

Not only was he pissed off
but he was drunk on top of it. Fear consumed me because I had never been around a drunk
and
angry Matthew. Usually I only dealt with the angry side of him.

The spotlight blinded me as he flipped it on while making his way over to the cage.

“There you are…Are you ignoring me, Hannah?! Ignoring me isn’t a good thing to do.”

“I—I’m not ignoring you
, Matthew.”

“
Ahhh… She
speaks
!”

He began fumbling with the cage door as he dropped the keys.
He bent down to pick them up, cursing repeatedly as he dropped them a couple more times before he secured them in his grasp. He forced the key into the padlock and I heard it click as he swung the cage door open.

I felt like a deer in the headlights. My body
was shaking violently from nerves as I slid a hand around to the knife stuck in the back of my pants. Pushing back slowly until I was flush with the wall, I tried to slow my breathing. If I was going to defend myself, being a shaky mess wasn’t going to help me any.

The smell of whiskey became stronger as he made his way closer to me
. I forced my eyes shut as I felt his breath blowing into my face. I knew we were now face-to-face.

“Matthew…Please…” I whispered.

Grabbing a hold of my arms he jerked me to my feet and I lost my grip on the knife in the back of my pants. Thankfully, it stayed there. Matthew shook me like I was a rag doll before he slammed my back against the cage. His hand came across my face with such force I instantly felt blood pool in my mouth. Tears were falling silently down my face as I shook uncontrollably in his grasp.

“You really should have loved me
, Hannah…It would have saved us both a lot of hurt and disappointment.” He spoke with so much hate.

My mind kicked into overdrive as I slammed my forehead hard against his. He
dropped me to the ground, cursing as he grabbed his forehead. I crawled away as fast as I could and pushed myself up to my feet. Reaching around my back I pulled the knife from my pants and stood with it out in front of me. Matthew straightened up and turned towards me as blood slightly trickled down from the side of his eye. Noticing the knife in my hand he began to laugh wickedly.

“Silly girl…You
really
think you can hurt me! I’m not that young boy anymore and I’m a hell of a lot stronger than some little girl like you…” He spat as he lunged forward.

I swung
the knife towards him, feeling the blade cut across his body as I forced my eyes shut. The impact of his body hit me so hard we both tumbled to the ground as the air left my lungs.

“FUCK!!! YOU CUT ME
, YOU LITTLE BITCH!!” Matthew growled as he touched the long cut across his chest.

The room was spinning around me as
Matthew forced me to roll onto my back. Placing his body on top of mine, he held his weight up with his arms as he continued to yell and curse at me. With his face only a few inches from mine, I could no longer control the sobs that loudly ripped from my chest. I reached around for the knife but couldn’t feel it anywhere on either side of me. Moving so that both of my hands were bound by one of his Matthew leaned to the side as he pulled something to him.

“Looking for this?”
he waved the knife around in front of my face.

My eyes
felt like they were about to pop out of my head at the sight of the knife so close to my face. Running the blade lightly across my cheek he began to loosen his hold on my hands. I wasn’t sure if he realized what he was doing or not but I knew I was going to have a small window to get out from under him.

As soon as he moved the blade away from my face I head butted him again. This time it didn’t have the same affect. Matthew began laughing even more wickedly as the room around me began to spin even more. I was pretty sure that last attempt at a head butt caused myself more pain than I had intended.

“When are you going to learn, little girl, that I am a lot stronger than you are…” Matthew whispered in my ear.

I felt the blood from his shirt start to run down my side so I knew he was hurt pretty badly. My only choice now was to try and knee him somewhere that would cause mass amounts
of pain. Blocking out what he was saying in my ear I slowly began to count to three in my mind.

1… 2… 3…

I put all the energy I had left into forcing my knee up and against any part of him that I could come into contact with.  Matthew let out a loud
Oomph
as he rolled off of me. Realizing I had been holding my breath, I found myself gasping for air as I rolled away from him. Getting up to a standing position was harder than it should have been but my body had been battered and bruised. Running for the cage door, I felt Matthew grab my leg and I knew I had no chance of escaping as long as he was conscious, although the thought of hurting him caused my chest to ache. With one forceful tug of his arm Matthew pulled my legs out from under me, causing me to smack my hands and chest against the floor. I shrieked at the pain now shooting through my wrist as he continued to pull me to him.

“Matthew…Please…You’re hurting me…Please…” I begged breathlessly through my tears.

“SHUT UP!!! SHUT! UP!” he yelled as he flipped me over onto my back and covered my body with his again.

“You really need to stop running from me
, Hannah…You are only delaying the inevitable”

“Matthew…Please…I know the boy I loved is in there somewhere…Come back to me…Please…Come back to me…” the tears poured out as I gasped for air in between them.

I closed my eyes when
I felt the cold metal blade of the knife touch my neck.
This is it, this is my last chance to try and bring my Matthew back to me.
He was going to kill me if I didn’t and right now I had nothing to lose by trying. Forcing my eyes open I stared right into his. If he was going to kill me, he was going to have to do it while looking me in the eyes. The tears continued to pour down my cheeks as Matthew stopped the blade in its tracks. Pain flashed across his face causing me to glance down at his chest where I had cut him. It was bad,
really
bad. I hadn’t noticed the amount of blood he and I were both covered in until now. The cut was obviously deep. Blood continued to seep out from the rip in his shirt and onto my already soaked clothes. I knew I had to do something fast if I wanted to get out of here and also save him.

“Matthew
, you are really hurt. Let me go so I can get you some help.” I spoke with as much sincerity as I could muster up while looking back into his eyes.

I didn’t give him much time to respond as I placed one of my hands onto his cut chest causing him to let out a low growl.

“You’re in pain; you don’t have to do this. I can get you some help, Matthew, and we can go back to our old selves. We can be together again and no one will be allowed to take you from me this time. Please…Please, let me go so I can get you some help!” I spoke in almost a whisper.

My heart didn’t seem like it could break anymore than it already had, but I was wrong. Matthew began to cry as he clenched the knife harder in his hand until his knuckles were white. Shaking his head back and forth he quietly started saying “No” over and over. This was typical behavior when he was bouncing back and forth between m
anic Matthew and loving Matthew, so I knew I was slowly breaking through to him.

“It will be al
l right, Matty…We can do this…Just let me go and I will find the nearest place to get help. You know I’ve always cared about you and I’m not about to stop caring now.”

The look on his face cau
sed my heart to ache. He was lost within himself as he fought to be the person I knew, the Matthew I grew up with and loved. Leaning back on his heels he gave me enough room to slightly sit up as he clenched his free hand to his chest. Slowly I reached for the knife in his other hand as his eyes went wide.

“Give me the knife
, Matthew. I’m not going to hurt you, but I need you to give me the knife.” I spoke slowly as my tears stopped.

“I can’t…” he sobbed, “He won’t allow me…You need to run
, Hannah! You need to
run
! I’m barely holding him back!” the terror in his voice was unbearable.

“
Matthew…You have to give me the knife…” pulling slightly on the handle hoping for him to release it, I could feel my heart hammering in my chest.

“DON’T! You have to
stop
—I can’t hold him back much longer!!
Run, Hannah
—Run away NOW!!” he was sobbing as he spoke through gritted teeth.

“I can’t…” I whispered as my tears started back up.

A few moments passed as we stared back at one another.

“I’m sorry…” Matthew said with such pain as he turned the knife in our hands and forced the
blade deep into his chest.

“NOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
I cried out while dropping my hands from the knife to catch Matthew’s falling body.

My whole body was shaki
ng with shock as I rested his head in my lap.

“Stay wit
h me, Matthew…Please—stay with me…Why—why did you do this?!” I cried hysterically.

“Han…it…was the only way…not to hurt you
...I can’t…hurt you…I love you…” Matthew spoke as the blood pooled in his mouth with each breath he took.

“Please don’t leave me….I’m
gonna get you help…”

Matthew laced his finger
s through mine as the blood trickled out the sides of his mouth.

“Stay with me
please…I want the last thing I see…to be you, Hannah. I have always…loved you…You were…the only light…in such a dark…world that I’ve…lived in…Hannah…” he was coughing up blood as he spoke.

The violent sobs that left me were uncontrollable as I softly rubbed my hand through Matthew’s hair.
Our time was fleeting and there was nothing I could do but watch the first boy that I loved die right in front of my eyes, from his—our own hands.

“
Don’t …cry…beautiful…I never meant…to hurt you…I just…wanted you…to love me…again…”

“
Shhh…I do love you, Matthew…I am so sorry…
Please
don’t leave me…
Please
…”

Matthew
’s coughing became hectic as the life left his eyes.

“OH GOD!! OH GOD NO!!! MATTHEW—
PLEASE…MATTHEW…”

I buried my f
ace in the crook of his neck as the pain flowed through my tears.

∙∞∙

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there cradling Matthew’s lifeless body as I mourned his loss. Blame was hard to face. I blamed myself for never contacting him after his parents took him away, I blamed my father for not giving me the letters Matthew spoke of, and I blamed his parents for taking him out of my life and locking him away in some institution. He never deserved any of that, let alone the life he was dealt since birth. Matthew didn’t kidnap me in hopes of torturing me or hurting me on purpose, he took me because he missed me and sadly that was the only way he thought he could have me. Now I sit here, covered in his blood, holding his lifeless body, and wishing I could change the past. Wiping my face with the back of my cleaner hand I moved his head off my lap and gently placed it on the floor. Kissing his forehead I whispered “Rest easy now, Matthew” and rose to my feet.