Read Mr. Louie Is Screwy! Online
Authors: Dan Gutman
Mr. Louie Is Screwy! (5 page)
Happily Ever After
As soon as the wedding was over, I took off my dumb tie and ran to the water fountain. I really needed to get hyphenated.
Mr. Klutz was handing out bags of rice, and he told us to throw the rice when Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy came out of the church. Cool!
“Rice fight!” I yelled.
Me, Michael, Ryan, and Neil ran around throwing rice at everybody. I nailed Andrea in the face. I threw some rice at that Mr. Cooney guy, too. Serves him right for marrying Mrs. Cooney.
It was cool. You should have been there! We kept throwing rice until Mr. Louie told us to knock it off.
Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy got into a car. There were a bunch of cans tied to the bumper with string. What's up with that? People who tie cans to their car are weird.
Finally, Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy drove away. We all waved good-bye as the cans rattled down the street.
I guess we won't see Miss Daisy or Mr. Macky for a while. Maybe Mr. Klutz will forget to hire a new teacher and we can just have fun all day. Or maybe we'll get a teacher who's even dumber than Miss Daisy.
Maybe Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy will
get divorced and everything will be back to normal. Maybe Mrs. Cooney will divorce her husband and marry me instead. Maybe Mr. Louie will realize that the Sixties are over. Maybe Mr. Klutz will grow some real hair so he won't have to wear a silly wig. Maybe an elephant will fall on Andrea's head and nobody will find out that I love her.
Maybe I'll figure out how to levitate stuff. That would be cool.
But it won't be easy!
DAN GUTMAN
has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at
www.dangutman.com
JIM PAILLOT
lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn't that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at
www.jimpaillot.com
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
Cover art © 2007 by Jim Paillot
MY WEIRD SCHOOL #20: MR. LOUIE IS SCREWY!
. Text copyright © 2007 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright © 2007 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub © Edition JANUARY 2009 ISBN: 9780061973413
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321)
Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Toronto, ON, M4W 1A8, Canada
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
77-85 Fulham Palace Road
London, W6 8JB, UK
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com
*
This is called a footnote because when you see it, you're supposed to look down. To see your foot, you have to look down, too.
*
What are you looking down here for? The story's up there, dumbhead!
*
Made you look down! Ha-ha! Man, you'll fall for anything!
*
It went like this:
“The ants are my friends, blowin' in the wind.”
*
There hasn't been a footnote in a long time, has there?
*
Do you know why it smells in church? Because you have to sit in your own pew.