My Best Friend and My Man (25 page)

Seaphes stands up. “Ursula, that’s enough. I didn’t buy Demetria a car, so talk what you know. I drove her to the lot so she could buy a car.”

“Yeah, right, that bitch wouldn’t surprise me if she sucked your dick to use your credit.”

“Okay,” Demetria says, “hold up, girl. Uh-uh. You gots to go.”

“I ain’t going nowhere.”

Seaphes speaks up. “No, I’m sorry, Ursula. It’s not Demetria’s house, but she and the others are my guests, and I will not let them be disrespected. So I’m sorry it has to be this way, but you’ve gotta get your things and leave.”

“You bastard. You can’t throw me out. Your girlfriend invited me.”

“Veron has nothing to do with this,” Seaphes tells her. “This has to do with you and your ignorant, erroneous comments. I don’t want you here, and I don’t care if Beyoncé invited you. Now go.”

Ursula looks like she’s about to explode, when all of a sudden, Riley steps in.

“Ting, ting, ting,” Riley says, waving her hands until she has everyone’s attention. “Okay, y’all. I don’t personally know you all, but I’ve been sitting here listening to people insult one another all night. I sense so much tension and anger between some of you. I don’t totally know what’s going on, but I guarantee you that whatever it is, it isn’t worth ruining a true friendship, believe me it’s not. Whatever happened…it hurts, but you gotta let it go.”

“But you don’t know how bad this person hurt me,” I say, staring intently at Riley.

“Have you ever hurt someone? Even unintentionally?” Riley asks. “We’ve all been wronged by someone in our life. Mother. Father. Sister. Boss. Boyfriend. And yes, even our best friends. But don’t allow hurt to remain in your heart. Let it go.”

“But it’s so hard,” I remark quietly. “I’m not there yet.”

“Shoot, I’m not gonna let nothing go. Any bitch that does me wrong is gonna get what she’s got coming to her,” Ursula claims. “Backstabbing bitches. And who invited Miss Perfect?”

“I guess we’re both on the buddy plan, sweetie, because Fonya asked me to come,” Riley says. “And I’m glad I did. It’s been great, but you guys, please listen to what I’m saying. Folks are dying every day—there’s war out there, killings, senseless tragedies. Life is too short to be bitter and carrying around a cancerous anger. Think about how you’d feel if something happened to your friend, and the next time you saw her was in the morgue, or lying in a casket? Wouldn’t that little fight you had seem like nothing?”

I think about Riley’s question and slowly nod my head and stare at Demetria, who is avoiding my eyes.

Just then the TV displays the ending to
Waiting to Exhale
. Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Lela Rochon, and Loretta Devine are gathered together in the final scene where they’re standing on the beach at night. And that friendship song is playing with the words:

Count on me through thick and thin

A friendship that will never end.

Back in the day I loved that song. Sometimes the lyrics would bring tears to my eyes, because the words seemed to perfectly convey the importance of true friendship. Being there for your friends through their ups and downs. Standing by them when they’re right, speaking up when they’re wrong. But today the song brings another type of tears. Ms. Riley is able to say all that nice-sounding advice, because she isn’t wearing my shoes. Right now I’m just too hurt, and so, so angry.

Unable to take it anymore, I stand up and run back to Seaphes’s bedroom. He follows me, and I swing around to face him. I’ve never been this hurt. “It goes without saying that I am so disappointed in you, Seaphes. I can’t believe you played me for such a fool. I trusted you.”

“Veron, I’m so sorry. I know there’s no real excuse for this.”

“Mmm hmmm. There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me feel different.”

He looks stricken. “Please, Veron. I really—”

“Shut up, Seaphes. I don’t care. I don’t care what you say! Who cares about you? Hell, who even cares about me?”

“Demetria does.”

“Oh, please.”

“Demetria really does care, Veron. She just doesn’t know how to express it properly.”

“Why are you always defending her, Seaphes? You know what, I’m wasting my breath with you. I-I can’t do this.”

Someone knocks on the door, and Demetria and Riley come in. Demetria mumbles, “She asked to come see you two and I thought it would be okay.” Demetria silently dismisses herself, and Riley looks at us carefully before speaking.

“I know it’s none of my business, but I just hate to see what’s going on. You all are adults and can handle your own problems, but please, young sista, don’t do anything foolish. I’ve had a talk with Demetria. She is sorry, and so ashamed she doesn’t even know how to tell you. I believe her. If you can believe her, will it make any difference in your relationship?”

“I don’t know, Riley. I just don’t.”

Riley asks Seaphes if the two of us can be alone to talk. He agrees, but before he leaves the room he promises me that he’ll explain everything to me and hopes that I will understand. I don’t know what kind of explanation he could possibly have for this.

—41—

S
EAPHES

I convince Veron
to hang around
after everyone else has left. It isn’t too hard to do, surprisingly. I think she’s just so exhausted, and my bed is closest.

So after I close the door behind the last guest, I brace myself for what is to come. Part of me wants to go out the door with everyone else, but I know I need to face my demons and have a talk with the one I’ve hurt.

“Hey, there,” I say softly, observing her curvy frame, sprawled out on the far corner of my bed. “You awake?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“I see.” I pause. “I just wanted to come see how you’re doing. And I wanted you to hear me out.”

She sits up in bed, and my eyes can’t stare at her for too long. So I pace the floor like a preacher on a stage.

“Go ahead,” she says.

“First of all, I care about you…”

“You sure?”

I nod. “I wasn’t playing you, Veron. You’re a sweet, almost innocent girl. I wanted to protect you, be with you. I’ve been with a lot of different types, but you are the most different of all.”

“Oh, great,” she says in a sorrowful sounding voice. “You’re calling me weird?”

“Not weird, but challenging. You’re almost like a flower, or a piece of china, so delicate that I didn’t know how to treat you at times.”

“You’re still not making sense.”

“So I’d go back to what I was used to…the Demetrias of the world. Easier to figure out, even though she brings the drama, the game-playing.”

“She’s more interesting, beautiful, challenging than me. Is that what you’re saying? Do you think that I’m so different that I lack a heart? Feelings? Why did you do this, Seaphes?”

I fall on my knees on the side of the bed and reach out to her.

“The other thing is…listen, you may not believe me, but I didn’t think it was ever going to happen with you. You were treating me so coldly all the time, and I couldn’t figure out why. And then you saw me hugging on Ursula—and all it was at that point was an innocent hug, but I kept doing it at bad timing…” I stop and drop my head in my hands. “I’m sorry, so very sorry I failed you, Veron. But you gotta know our contemplating getting together happened one time with Demetria. It’s such a cliché, but it’s true. Other than that we’ve been just close friends. The bottom line is that it’s you I care about. I find you amazing, beautiful, the best woman I’ve ever been with, and I want to be with you.”

She just shakes her head as if she’s trying to push out all the info I’ve given her. “I just don’t know, Seaphes. I can’t process all this, and I’m about to leave this so-called party. Don’t call me, okay? I have to figure some things out.”

—42—

D
EMETRIA

“Vee, can we talk?
I think there
are a few things you need to know.” It’s a few days after the Conversations Party. We’re at work, and I’ve asked her to join me outside at the picnic table in the courtyard. She said yes, which makes me feel a little more optimistic. I wanted to give her a little time to get the anger through her system, but I need to share something that I hope will help to mend our broken relationship.

“What’s up?” she asks.

“First of all, there’s something I have to tell you. A couple days ago, I revealed something about myself to Seaphes. He made me promise to tell you, because he thought it could fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle.”

She sighs. “Okay, what is it?” she asks.

I take a deep sigh. “Vee, um. This is hard for me to talk about…but I’ve had a painful sexual history. You think I’m promiscuous, and yes, I can say that I have slept with a lot of men. But what you don’t understand is why. I’ve tried to block it out, but it got to the point where I can’t deny it anymore.”

“What happened?” she asks, looking concerned.

“I’m…I’m a sexual addict. Actually, that’s how I met Thad.”

“What?”

I nod. “It’s true. He and I were attending a sex addicts meeting, and I was introduced to him. I never really talked to him until I noticed him again that night at the jazz concert.”

“I just…I never knew this. What made you feel the need to attend those meetings?”

“It’s…Well, I lost my virginity as a teen. A…young teen. He was an older guy…an
old
guy, to tell the truth. He courted me, made me feel very special, beautiful, smart. But he pressured me for sex. I guess I looked a lot more mature than I was. I liked him, though, so I gave myself to him. But then, he treated me bad. He stopped accepting my calls, taking me out, gave me the cold shoulder. I guess he was scared I’d report him to authorities. And ever since then, I’ve felt the need to prove myself. With men. This means I’ve sometimes hooked up with that very same type of man. Or with guys who seem out of my league.”

“And that’s why you’d get so upset and jealous when Seaphes showed interest in me and not you?”

“Exactly. It wasn’t so much that I wanted him; it was the challenge, the need for control, for feeling like I am a desirable woman who can hold on to a man, all that. I know it sounds stupid. Vee, I can’t stand this part of myself. And I can’t apologize enough.”

“Hmmm. Well, I’m glad you told me,” Vee says, but she has this hollow sound in her voice. I’m starting to wonder if I even should have said anything.

“Well…I mean, I just wanted you to know,” I say. “And there’s something else.”

“Now what?” she asks skeptically.

I pause, not wanting to overwhelm her. “Well, Seaphes and I agreed not to even talk anymore. No contact, nothing. I don’t ever want you to experience that awful feeling about me and him hanging over your head…wondering if you’ll ever be able to trust us again. And, Veron, I know I did you wrong. I was blinded by loneliness and jealousy and the need to be the center of attention, but I know for a fact I won’t be again.”

She looks a little bit warmer now, but all she says is “Okay. Anything else?”

“Uh…yeah, actually. I got a phone call late last night.”

“From who? Was it Darren?”

“It was actually my baby Thaddeus.”

She gives me an odd look.

“I know, I know. But you know how you really love Seaphes in spite of his ways? I feel the same about Thad. He and I share history. We fight, we make up. I know he bugged my house, and I know he has a temper, but in spite of all the drama…we’re just very drawn to each other. He told me that being away from me and hanging with Marilyn reminded him why he filed for divorce in the first place. So”—I laugh with glee—“he actually filed the papers.”

“And now he wants you?”

“Yes, he wants me back, can you believe it? I was thinking about what Riley said at the party, and I mentioned those things to him in my own words. How usually in relationships, when things go wrong, we both carry our share of the blame. Doesn’t matter who started it. I shouldn’t have stepped out on him; he shouldn’t have planted the tape recorders. We both should have done things different to ensure a stronger relationship. So we agreed to let go of the bad parts of our past. I’ve completely gotten rid of the guys I used to be with. I realize they aren’t worth it. I realize I can be happy with the one who loves me and treats me good.”

“Yeah, that sounds all wonderful,” she says, still sounding a bit unconvinced. “But Thad travels a lot. What are you going to do when he goes on the road again?”

“He asked if I would consider putting in my two-week notice, actually, and presented me with this.” I flash a five-carat diamond ring at her. “That’s my baby, always treating me good. He wants me to be his wife and travel with my man wherever he goes.”

“Really? Are you sure that marrying Thad is the best thing to do? Have you given it serious thought?”

“Yes, Vee, yes. When love steps up to your door, you gotta open it and not be afraid. I gotta be with the one who I know is man enough to give me everything I need, and strong enough to put me in my place. Thad is it. He is. So I feel peaceful with my decision.”

“I just remember you talking about your boy Darren, and how you felt something so strong with him and couldn’t ever give him up. So I just want to make sure…you’re sure that Thad is absolutely the only man in the world for you?”

I look her squarely in the eye. “Who else would have given me a ring like this, girl? Not Darren, sweet as he is. Definitely not Mario. So, Veron, as sure as I’m sitting here, there is no other lover I’d rather be with…than Thad.”

“Well, Demetria. I never thought I’d say this, but listening to everything you’ve said, it sounds as though you’ve come full circle. And in a strange way, I am honestly happy for you, although I envy you, too, girl. Some guy told me that it’s nothing if a man wants to have sex with you. He can do that with anybody. But if he wants to make you his wife, that’s true honor. So yep,” she says and finally smiles. “I
am
elated. Invite me to the wedding.”

“Of course you invited, Vee. You are my best friend, and I want you to be my maid of honor. And I love you for finding it in your heart to listen to me today and be so receptive.”

“I’m glad, too.” She smiles and it’s genuine.

“And guess what?” I tell her and pull out two sets of keys: one is my Brian McKnight key ring; the other is my Disney World key ring. “Check this out; I got my keys to Thad’s place back, and he also returned my Dodge Nitro, so I actually have two hot rides now. He really does love me.” I laugh in amazement. “Ain’t that a bitch?”

“It sure is, girl. Somehow you always come out on top, don’t you?” Vee asks. I just smile at her, and we stand up for a much-needed hug. Right now I’m so happy she is happy for me. So happy we’ve made up and found a way to be friends again.