Because...Damn. Just damn. He couldn't go another ten years without laying eyes on the vision of beauty that was Katie Marie Lawson.
He didn't have it in him.
Katie sat at her table at the rehearsal dinner, surrounded by Chelle and the Sloan girls, and all thoughts of angsty talks with Jason had fled from her mind. She was having more fun than she could remember having since...well, since the LAST time she'd hung out with Chelle and the Sloan girls.
But, just as Katie thought that she had managed to banish thoughts of Jason from her mind for the evening, Chelle leaned over and said, “So, I notice that a certain Mr. Sloan has not been able to take his eyes off of you all night. Spoiler Alert: I don't mean Alex or Bobby.”
“I don't know what you mean,” Katie said airily.
“I mean Jason,” Chelle clarified dryly.
Katie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, I got that.”
Chelle laughed, “Sorry, you said you didn't know what I meant, I thought I better spell it out.”
Katie blushed, “I meant it wasn't true! And you know that!”
Chelle laughed again, “Oh, you don't think it's true?”
“Of course not!”
“Well, then let's do what all the great scientific minds do when they want to test a hypothesis.”
“Bust out a beaker and fire up the hot plate?”
“I think you're confusing freshman chem with great scientific minds, but, yes – the same principal. I propose an experiment.”
Katie shook her head, “How would we do an experiment on that?”
“Well, he's looking over here every few seconds. Let's just pick a random point in time and then start counting. I propose that we will not get past 5 before he has to feed his addiction.”
“Oh, come on. Now you're just being dramatic.”
“I'm not! Those peepers of his are hooked on some Katie Lawson. They're jonesin', man!”
Katie shook her head again, blushing, feeling uncomfortable with all the attention...and secretly praying that Chelle was right.
Chelle said, “OK, starting...NOW. 1...2...3...”
On 3, as if he had been programmed to, Jason gave a little glance their way. When he saw that they were looking at him, he raised his glass with a sexy smile. The girls raised their glasses back to him...and managed to display enough good manners to keep themselves from doubling over with laughter until they had turned back around.
Katie DEFINITELY had not had this much fun in a very long time.
Sophie walked up to them, face flushed and glowing. She said, “Hey, ladies. Wow, I'm glad you're having such a great time!”
Chelle and Katie got up to hug Sophie, and assured
her that they were, indeed, having a great time.
“Oh, good,” Sophie replied, “Well, you girls keep having fun. I'm heading to bed so that I can be nice and rested for the big day tomorrow.”
Katie sprung up out of her seat again, “Oh, I'll go with you, sweetie.”
“No, no,” Sophie replied, a little too quickly, “I mean...that would be silly. I'm just going to sleep. I do that without help all the time, you know?”
There was a very suspicious blush creeping up Sophie's cheeks, so Katie decided to just drop it, assuring Sophie, “OK, hon, but you know you can call me if you need anything...I've got my cell on.”
“Oh, I know. I won't need anything,” Sophie giggled and made her exit, “See you bright and early at the brunch!”
Right after Sophie left the dining room, Chelle and Katie saw Bobby saying quick goodbyes and then heading out, too.
Chelle said, “Look at those two, sneaking off together. She’s going to sleep my ass. She might be going to bed, but I don’t think she’ll be sleeping.”
Katie laughed, “I think it’s romantic.”
“You think what’s romantic?” Jason’s deep voice sounded behind her.
Chelle looked up at him and said, “Your brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law sneaking off together the night before their wedding.”
“Yeah, they weren’t too stealth about that little maneuver,” Jason laughed as he brushed his hand over Katie’s shoulder.
“Not in the least,” Katie chuckled.
Jason gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Hey Kit Kat, you want to go take a walk?”
His voice was deep and gravelly and it sent a chill running down Katie's spine. Her stomach began to do somersaults. She felt her palms moisten. Her breathing began to get ragged. She quickly felt inside her clutch to check that she had, in fact, brought her trusty in-case-of-emergency paper bag and was relieved to find that she had.
“Yep, sounds good,” she replied, trying to keep the tension from her voice, and then reached over and gave Chelle a quick hug goodbye.
Chelle whispered in her ear, “You’re good. It’s just Jason. Just talk to him.”
Katie nodded, although Chelle could not see her, and gave her one last squeeze before standing and heading out.
As they were walking out she asked Jason, “Do you think we need to tell anyone we’re leaving?”
It was a stalling tactic, she freely admitted as much to herself.
“I think they’ll figure it out. Plus we have our cells if they need us,” Jason said with a wink. He took Katie’s hand and they stepped into the courtyard, which was lit up by twinkle lights.
Katie shivered as they walked outside, partly from the drop in temperature, but mostly from the intense crackling of electricity she felt between herself and Jason.
Of course, Jason picked up on the slight tremor, since it seemed he noticed everything about Katie. He let go of her hand just long enough to take off his sports coat and wrap it around her shoulders.
She pulled it in front of her and he rested his hand on the small of her back as they made their way through the expansive garden area.
His thumb was rubbing small circles and even through the jacket and her dress, his touch felt intimate.
Katie had no idea why she was so nervous. She had planned on asking Jason to talk anyway, so she should be prepared for this…but she wasn’t.
They walked in silence until they came to a small bench in front of a waterfall feature.
As they sat Katie turned to face Jason. She was just about to speak but he beat her to it.
“Katie...”
Uh-oh, she thought, no nickname. This must be serious.
“I just want you to know how sorry I am…” he began.
“It’s fine, Jas,” she interrupted.
“No, it’s not. In fact, I can’t believe I did what I did. I would completely understand if you couldn’t forgive me,” he looked so sincere, it tugged at Katie’s heartstrings.
“Jas, really it’s fine,” she assured him, “I was upset at first, but I've been thinking, and I talked it through with Chelle, and I'm over it. Honestly. I mean, it’s not like you were the one who cheated on me. You just didn’t tell me.”
Jason’s brow furrowed, “What?”
“It’s really not your fault,” she continued, patting his hand, “I was just angry and you were there. I really just needed to process it. But you don’t have to apologize.”
He caught her hand mid-pat and held it firmly, “I’m not apologizing for not telling you about Nick’s extra-curricular activities Katie, I’m apologizing for what happened the night of Nick’s funeral.”
Katie felt a blush spread across her cheeks. She stammered, “You don’t…why are you…I should be....”
She stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes against all of the crashing emotions that were pounding against her heart and her head. When she felt that she had herself under control, she opened them again and tried to collect her thoughts.
She decided to give her speech another try, “I'm the one who should be apologizing to YOU for that night. And I am…I mean, I wanted to...”
She paused. Another deep breath and another crack at it, “Jas, I'm so sorry for what happened that night. I’m sorry for you finding me in the tub and...and after when, you know…we…you know. And then I just left.”
She felt tears starting to form in her eyes. She took another deep breath, she could do this.
“Katie, don’t. I am the one…”
She interrupted, “Please, Jason, just let me finish. I just need to get out what I have wanted and needed to say to you all these years.”
He nodded his head, gesturing for her to continue.
She wiped her eyes and proceeded, “I’m not the kind of girl who hooks up with guys randomly, I don’t do that. I don’t know what happened. I just…I felt like I needed. I mean...you felt so…warm and…”
Her cheeks now felt like they were on fire. She dropped her head in her hands.
“Can I say something?” Jason asked as he rubbed the small of her back.
She nodded, not taking her face from her hands. When he did not continue, however, she cautiously looked up at him. His chocolate brown eyes were brimming with warmth and Katie felt like she could drown in them.
“I know you’re not ‘that kind of girl’. I know that was your first time.”
“How do you know that?” Katie felt a panic attack coming on fast and furious.
“Because since Nick was doing, well...whatever he was doing, I made him promise me one thing – that he wouldn’t be sleeping with you at the same time,” Jason explained, his voice soothing and calm, “I just wanted to protect you.”
He paused for a moment, then added ruefully, “Then I turn into the biggest jerk of all and take advantage of you. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me. I know that’s why you left and haven’t been back.”
He raked his hands through his hair, and his voice sounded nothing short of tortured. He looked so full of guilt and shame, and Katie knew he that didn’t deserve to feel any of those things.
Time to step up and clear the air once and for all.
She sat a little straighter, trying to build up her confidence even though she felt none forthcoming. It didn’t matter, though. She needed to face this. She had to let Jason off the hook that he had apparently placed himself on.
She took a deep breath and thought...here goes nothing!
“Jason, look. I’m so sorry that you have been carrying around some displaced guilt about that night. I am so sorry, also, that I didn’t stay and meet you at the Dairy Queen. I'm sorry that I stopped talking to you when Nick was in his coma. I’m sorry that I didn’t fly home
the second I heard about your dad’s heart attack. I’m sorry that I disappeared from everyone’s lives for ten years.”
She shook her head regretfully, “God. I’m sorry for a lot of things, Jas. But I am not sorry that you were my first. I will never be sorry for that.
“When my mom woke me up on the night of the accident, she said that she had taken a 911 call about a black Chevy truck that had driven off Spencer Point.”
She took another deep breath and dove fully in, “I thought it was you, Jason. I thought you were in the truck.”
She felt tears falling down her face. She quickly wiped them but forged ahead as she did so, “And then when my mom told me it was Nick, I felt...Oh, God...I mean, I was…relieved.
“That’s why I stopped talking to you, why I couldn’t even look at you when we were at the hospital. I felt so guilty about that. And when you found me in the bathtub, I tried to tell you, to explain that I had thought it was you. I hadn’t slept in days, though, and I know I wasn’t making much sense.
“But when I said that night that I needed you, that I wanted you...I knew exactly what I was asking, and it was exactly what I wanted. And WHO I wanted.”
Jason brushed away more of the tears that were still flowing freely down Katie's face.
“But then we got interrupted, and I just...I couldn’t face you. I had no idea what you must have thought of me. I had to get away. I couldn’t even face
myself
for the feelings I had. I was confused and scared, and devastated over losing Nick. It was just too much.”
“Katie,” She heard the growl in Jason’s voice and an awareness spread through her body.
She looked into his eyes and where there was warmth just a few minutes ago there was now hunger, desire.
He leaned close so that his forehead was resting on hers, and his breathing was ragged, “I know that we have a lot more to talk about, but right now all I can think about is how much I need you. We've both been carrying around all kinds of misplaced guilt, confusion and pain about that night. Please let me take you upstairs so I can make it right, make
us
right. Please, Katie...I need you.”
He slid his fingers through her hair at the nape of her neck and tilted her head slightly, as he did his lips covered hers. Heat spread through her like a wild fire.
She slid her hands up his well-muscled arms and felt a cry tear from her throat. God, he was so sexy! And not just his body (although that was indeed puddle-inducing), but his soul, too. The way he took care of her. The way he knew her better than she knew herself. Oh, hell, yes...all of that was sexy as hell!
She slipped her arms around his neck and pushed her fingers into his soft brown hair, that hair she had always loved, at the same time he wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her closer, crushing her body against his chest. She felt tiny in his arms, like a china doll when compared to his great brute strength.