My Heart is Yours (18 page)

“Since the day after you kicked him out.”

“What? I told you you couldn’t see him again!”

“You can’t tell me not to see him, I’m twenty years
old.” Sam put a hand on her hip defiantly.

“I am telling you that and you’re not gonna see
him.” Craig warned.

“Actually I am going to ‘see him’ again. Every day
for the rest of our lives. Because we’re getting married.” Sam
said. She gave Craig a moment to let it sink in.

“I. You. No.” Craig took a breath, walked down the
hallway and then back. “You’re not getting married.”

“Yes we are.” Sam said.

“No, you’re not.” Craig waved a muscled finger at
her.

“Yes. we are.” Sam repeated through gritted
teeth.

“No! Samantha! You’re not!” Craig’s relatively calm
demeanor shattered and he bellowed at them.

At the same time Sam’s shell of calm cracked. “Why
not? I don’t understand you! What do you have against Jason?”

“He’s not good enough for you! He’s gonna hold you
back!”

“God Craig who is good enough for me? How is Jason
going to hold me back?” Sam yelled as she took on the appearance of
an infuriated angel by the glint of the moonlight.

“You’re not gonna go to college! Get a job! You
could do so much but if you marry him you’ll just push out his kids
and be a housewife! That’s all you’ll be! I want you to be
more!”

“Oh! Shut up Craig! Just shut up! I’m sick of it!
Jason and I are getting married! I’m twenty years old, you can’t
stop me! You know, when mom and dad died I always pictured you
walking me down the aisle and giving me away! But obviously that
isn’t going to happen, because you’re not even going to be at my
wedding!”

She stormed out onto the porch and let the screen
door slam shut behind her. A gust of icy wind blew through the
house.

Sam was out on the porch in the cool breeze. Not
cool like the relieving breezes that come in the summer, but a
bitter cold. Browned leaves that had fallen from the trees swirled
in the wind in the yard of yellowed grass. “Sam.” Jason’s hair fell
into his eyes as he laid a hand on her shoulder. “You know you want
Craig at our wedding.”

She wiped away tears with the back of her hand. “Of
course I want him at our wedding, Jason. I’m not even going to try
to deny that. And I want him to be the one to give me away too. But
I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Her voice cracked. Jason
pulled her into his arms and she sobbed into the shoulder of his
jean jacket.

“She’s acting like a child.” Craig said to John in
the hallway.

“You sure she’s the one acting like a child?” John
said raising a honey colored eyebrow.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Craig eyes
flashed blue fire.

“You’ve been saying the same thing since they
started dating. That Jason’s gonna hold her back. And he hasn’t.”
John pointed out.

“What are you talking about? She didn’t go to
college. She got a full time job right after high school.” Craig
tried to apply reason to his actions.

“She’s taking night classes. And putting half of
that money away in a college fund. The other half she uses to help
out with bills. How dare she.” John rolled his eyes. “And that had
nothing to do with Jason. She couldn’t go to college because we
didn’t have enough money even with a scholarship. How’s that
Jason’s fault? What did he do? Hide all our money?”

“Stop being a smart ass.” Craig growled.

“Stop being an ass.” John said as smooth as the gel
he sometimes put in his hair.

A stare down ensued. First to break was John; but
not because he gave up, because he wasn’t done with his speech.

“We know she loves him. And how can you say he
doesn’t love her? Have you seen the way he looks at her? He’d never
do anything to hurt her or hold her back. You know they’re getting
married no matter what you say. We’ll all be there. I hope you will
too.” John turned on his heel and walked back into the living
room.

“Sam. Jason. Please get in here.” Craig stood with
his hands behind his back.

Sam walked in the door, Jason half pushing her.
“What?” She said, crossing her arms and holding her chin high. Her
voice cracked through her shell.

“Don’t mess this up.” Was all Craig said.

“What?” Jason asked.

“Your lives. Don’t mess it up.” He said again.

“Is that your way of saying we have your blessing?”
Sam scoffed.

“Yes.” Craig said in a softer voice. “I’m sorry,
Sam. I would never miss my chance to walk you down the aisle.” Even
Craig had tears in his eyes at this point.

Sam smiled through her tears and hugged him. He
kissed the top of her head.

“So you’re getting married.” Craig said as Sam
pulled away, her smile lit up like a seventy watt light bulb.

“I’m getting married!” She announced as she wiped
away her tears.

As Sam hugged all the other guys in a parade of
laughter Craig turned to Jason and held out his hand. Jason glanced
down. He hesitated only a moment before they shook. He stared at
their hands as if they were about to explode at any time.

“Take care of her.” Craig said.

Jason met his eyes. “I will.” He said, and then,
“And I won’t hold her back.”

The blue fire briefly returned to Craig’s eyes. “I
know you won’t.”

***

S
am sat at her kitchen
table with a couple of bridal magazines in front of her. The smell
of the coffee brewing was enticing her and she got up to make
herself a cup.

“Sit down!” Juliana snapped, swatting her hand with
a spoon. “You need to look at those magazines. I’ll make your cup
of coffee.” Juliana had come home for the weekend when she heard
Sam and Jason were engaged.

“Why did you bring me these magazines Jules?” Sam
asked, flipping through the one in the middle of the white kitchen
table. Juliana had bought a couple before she came to visit, saying
that they needed them to get ideas for their own wedding.

“Because you’re engaged. You’re going to have to
plan a wedding Samantha.”

“I think I should just elope.” She said as she
looked at a picture of a wedding cake elaborately piped with white
frosting.

“Don’t you dare! We’re having a real wedding!”

“Eloping isn’t a real wedding? You’re still husband
and wife at the end of it.” She raised her eyebrows.

“Stop. You know what I mean Sam.”

A picture of a giant frilly dress was on the next
page. Sam scrunched up her face and threw the magazine closed.
They’d get a real wedding, but frills and ruffles were not
happening. Ever.

“Hey!” John said, strutting into the kitchen and
grabbing a coffee mug from the cabinet. He tossed it from his left
hand to his right.

“Don’t break that.” Craig said.

“Calm down.” John answered. He walked over to the
kitchen table. “What the hell’s all this?” He grabbed a bridal
magazine off the table and flipped through it.

“Juliana brought them over.” Sam answered.

“Yeah, for Sam. We’re planning a wedding here
people.”

“What kind of wedding do you think we’re planning?”
John asked as he stared at the elaborate decorations and dresses in
the magazines. He cocked an eyebrow.

“One where we go broke.” Craig said as he joined
John by the kitchen table.

“It’s just to get ideas.” Juliana said, handing Sam
her cup of coffee.

John, Craig and Juliana watched as Sam drained half
the cup in one sip. She wiped off her mouth with the back of her
hand. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She said.

“Nervous?” John asked.

“Nervous. Excited. Ecstatic.” She grinned. A light
peach flushed her whole face.

John smiled. “Where’s Jason?”

“He should be over soon. He stayed at Shawn’s last
night.” Sam said.

“Do you guys want some breakfast?” She asked as she
opened the fridge. She pulled out the carton of eggs, already
knowing their answer.

“Oh, yeah.” John said. “Scrambled eggs and
bacon?”

“Coming up.” She said cracking the first of eight
eggs into a white plastic bowl. She took out a carton of milk and
let some flow into the bowl. She beat it all together with a fork
and watched it turn a pale yellow color. It reminded her of the
bursts of yellow on the quilt her mom had made for her. She poured
the eggs into the pan and moved them around with a spatula
absentmindedly. She was thinking about the look on her mom’s face
when she gave her the quilt. She had been so proud of herself for
not messing up any of the stitches as she so often had a habit of
doing. Sam giggled quietly.

“What are you laughing at?” She felt someone’s warm
breath whisper against her ear. She dropped the spatula in the pan
sending egg flying onto the counter and stove.

“Jason.” She said. “You scared me.” She reached for
the paper towels but his tan hand wrapped around hers and turned
her around. He pressed his lips gently to hers.

“I missed you.” He said.

She grinned against his lips. “You saw me last
night.”

“I know.” He mumbled and kissed her again. He pulled
her into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder and
closed her eyes. He kissed the top of her head and shut his eyes.
They stayed like that, holding each other close.

“Hey! My eggs are gonna overcook!” John said.

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. Jason gave her a
quick peck on the lips and wrapped his arms around her waist while
she finished scrambling the eggs.

“Could you two keep that crap to yourself?” Craig
made a face.

“Aww, get over it. They’re getting married. It’s not
like they’re making out in front of you. You’re going to have to
get used to it.” John said as he dipped a fork into the scrambled
eggs and stole a bite. Sam whacked his hand with the clean edge of
the spatula.

“Alright. Let’s get back to planning.” Juliana sat
down.