Authors: Ashley March
She wanted love. She wanted to love and to be loved. Safety, security, permanence . . . and this.
A lex’s arms were strong about her. He wouldn’t let her fall. He would protect her.
For now.
Suddenly the meeting of their lips was too much, and Willa tilted her head back.
She wouldn’t break away, but she knew she would give herself away in a kiss. He would understand her desperation and her need.
“A lex.” She sighed his name as his lips glided down her neck, a hot, sensuous trail ending in the hollow of her throat. She waited for him to descend farther, to try to kiss her breasts, but he stayed there, his breath warming her skin, his mouth resting on her skin. “A lex?”
He pulled away, not meeting her eyes, and gently set her aside. “I’m sorry, Willa. I can’t kiss you again.”
A deep humiliation ached in her chest as she drew herself together, her chin rising. “If you’ll recall, I told you I didn’t want you to kiss me.”
“I know. I apologize.”
He handed her the hat and pins, and Willa stared down at his long, masculine fingers holding the flimsy feminine headpiece. She glanced up into his eyes. He was watching her intently, tracking her movements. “Very well, then.” She didn’t ask why he’d stopped; she didn’t need to know.
“I respect you. I am going to marry another woman, and you are going to marry another man. I respect you too much, and I respect my future wife too much in order to continue this—” He paused, closed his mouth, and swallowed.
“This . . .”
She took a deep breath and waited.
He stared at her for a moment longer, then smiled. A nd then it was as it had been before, and there was nothing between them that mattered. He was harmless. She needed to be watched to ensure she didn’t mess with something he wanted. A nd they were both charming and beautiful.
She smiled at him. He smiled at her. A nd all was well with the world.
Willa stared out the window. Pressure built inside her chest, a burning, aching hollowness that swelled in her throat, in her nostrils, and in her eyes. She would not cry.
Damn him.
She would not cry.
A n hour passed by. Two. The entire day, until the sun faded behind the horizon and they sat there in the darkness of the carriage side by side, not speaking.
When they finally arrived in London at the Mivart Hotel, he held his arm across the door so she couldn’t exit. Willa stared at his arm, clenched her jaw, then dragged her gaze toward his face.
There was nothing left to say.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look back.
This time, she didn’t.
“Where have you been?”
A lex glanced up from his desk, his eyes bleary. Jo stood half hidden by the open study door, one hand planted on her hip.
He hadn’t been able to go to sleep after taking Willa to the hotel.
“You know where I’ve been,” he said.
“I’ve been waiting for you to return. It took you a long time to check on the testing.”
“I took Miss Stratton with me. The nonsaturation works.” Those were the main points. He was sure she’d have liked to hear the entire story, but he was too weary to oblige.
“The nonsaturation works? A lex, congratulations! That’s wonderful!”
“Thank you.” He stared at the list and blinked. He was so tired, his vision clouded.
“Well, I’m relieved to hear how thrilled you are,” she said drily.
He looked up then. She smiled.
“I have something to tell you,” Jo said.
A lex stood, scrubbing his hands over his face. “You’ve become betrothed to a lord.”
“Good God, no. A llow me to begin again. I have something exciting to tell you.” The image that had kept him awake after returning to Holcombe House flashed The image that had kept him awake after returning to Holcombe House flashed again in his mind. Willa, walking away as he stared after her through the carriage window. A gain and again the scene repeated itself.
A lex strode around the desk toward the sideboard. “Whisky?” he offered.
“If you’re not going to oblige me by acting curious, then I suppose I won’t torture you by dragging this out. I terminated your bookkeeper.” A lex stilled, the bottle in his hand frozen midair. He slowly set it down and turned around. “You fired Mr. Swarthing?”
“I found the books where you hid them and went over everything while you were gone. Only a few months, A lex, and he’d made a mess of it.” The fog of sleep had cleared away instantly. A lex narrowed his eyes and strolled forward. “How did you fire him? He’s my employee.”
Jo shrugged. “I threatened to summon the law. There were inconsistencies—
glaring inconsistencies that even you wouldn’t have been able to miss if you’d taken the time every now and then to look over the accounts. Instead of chasing after Willa. Or is it Lady Marianna you’re chasing after? I become confused sometimes.”
A lex gritted his teeth. “I’m no longer courting Lady Marianna. A s for Miss Stratton—”
“I should also mention that I went through your letters while you were gone. It appears Willa has been a very busy little bee on your behalf.” He stilled. “What do you mean?”
Jo stepped away from the door, revealing a large sheaf of papers in her hand.
“Letters from various people. Some lords and relations to lords, so I know you’ll be pleased. Some from businessmen—in England, Europe, and even A merica. A ll asking about your nonsaturation process.”
“She told them my secret.”
Jo slapped his shoulder with the papers. “She told them to invest in Laurie and Sons for the greatest textile invention this century. They all mentioned her name, wrote about how she recommended they contact you for more information.” Willa had tried to help him, even though they were rivals, even when she could have been the one to inform her father about the process for the benefit of Stratton’s company. But most important, he’d been wrong. Idiotically wrong.
A rrogantly wrong. He’d never been so happy to be wrong in his entire life.
A lex whooped and picked Jo up. He spun her about, just like their father once had.
“I’m thrilled that you’re excited,” she drawled once he put her down. “Truly, I am. But aren’t you going to congratulate me for getting rid of Swarthing?
Compliment me on how clever I am? Or are you just going to ignore my accomplishment of keeping the man from robbing our company and family blind?”
A lex inclined his head. “Well done, Jo.”
“I want the books,” she said.
“No.”
“No.”
Her mouth gaped, and A lex smiled. “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?”
She pursed her lips. “A ctually, I did. I just gave you two pieces of good news. I expected something in exchange.”
“You deserve more than hours spent hunched over the accounts. I’m not refusing you to make you upset, Jo. I’m refusing you because I want to see you happy.”
“You say you want me to be happy. I want the books because they make me happy. They’re a piece of him, a piece of me that won’t get lost in this huge house. You can have the rest of the business, the nonsaturation, your aristocratic bride or whomever you choose. I want you to have those things. I want you to be happy. But let me be happy, too, A lex.” She paused a moment, then asked, “Have I made you feel guilty enough yet?”
A lex sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “A s if I didn’t already feel like the biggest bastard in the world tonight.”
She smiled. “Wonderful.” She held out the letters to him. “I did hide the books before I came to see you, just in case you said no.”
“I assumed you did,” he said. “A nd, if you must know, I rather look forward to having someone competent to review the accounts again. It’s true I should have taken more time to look over them myself, but I did see there were quite a few errors from Swarthing.”
She quirked a brow. “A nd yet you still refused to let me have them.”
“I know, I know. But he came with the highest recommendation. I’m not sure what to say, other than that I should have listened to you from the beginning.
Though you’re older and thus at times I do fear for the workings of your mental faculties, you’re much wiser and—dare I say it—usually much more intelligent.” Jo scowled and turned away. “Stop trying to charm me. I know your tricks.”
“A ren’t you going to tell me what a wonderful, marvelous brother I am for giving you the books now?”
“You’re very adequate, thank you.”
A lex chuckled as she disappeared through the doorway. “Good night, Jo.” Her voice drifted back. “Good night, A lex.”
He wouldn’t let Willa go. Not yet.
As Willa sat before her dressing table while Ellen worked on her hair, a knock came at the door. Willa groaned and waited for Ellen to halt and step away so she could rise.
Willa opened the door with a smile. “Oh. Hello.”
Half her hair hung down her head, she wasn’t wearing her slippers yet, she was fairly certain a smudge of chocolate stained the corner of her mouth, and A lex Laurie stood on the opposite side, fist still raised. He returned her smile and bowed. “Good evening to you, Miss Stratton.”
Willa rubbed a knuckle at the corner of her mouth. “What are you doing here?” A lex shook his head and leaned toward her. “You missed it.” He touched his thumb to her lips.
Willa narrowed her eyes. “If you’re trying to help me with the chocolate on my face—and I assure you I don’t welcome your help—may I point out that it is on the other side of my mouth.” Her lips moved against his thumb as she spoke, and it was almost like a caress.
Ridiculous, she corrected herself. It was nothing like a caress; it was simply an unmoving thumb.
Or rather, it had been an unmoving thumb. “A ha!” A lex said, his smile growing wider as he slowly traced the line of her lips to the other side of her mouth. His eyes grew dark. “Yes, there it is. A ll gone now.” Lowering his hand to his side, he added, “Glad to see you’re enjoying the presents you asked me to stop sending you.”
Willa scowled. “A gain, I ask you: what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
She stared at him, then started to close the door. His foot caught in the space between the door and the frame.
“I love you.”
She stared at the door, her mouth still open.
“Willa, is everything all right?” Sarah poked her head around the corner into the antechamber, frowning at the foot in the opening.
Willa waved her away.
“Would you mind opening the door again?” A lex asked. “I’d like to give you your present.”
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
“A nd my foot hurts, too.” He paused. “Just a little, though.”
“You said you loved me.”
“You said you loved me.”
“I did. I must confess I was sort of hoping you would say you loved me, too.” Her heart slammed against her ribs, and she noticed her breath was coming fast as well. “A nd if I don’t?”
“Then I will make you love me, of course, with my charming ways and handsome face. But first you have to open the door, Willa.” She did, swinging it wide until they were face-to-face. Or rather, nose to shoulder until she looked up.
“There you are.” He smiled at her, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you remember when we were at the inn in Northamptonshire and you asked me who I was?” His voice was low, almost hoarse.
“Yes.” Only now did she take the time to study his face, to see the dark skin beneath his eyes, the weary lines creasing at the corners of his mouth. Her hands itched to smooth over his face, to erase the tiredness etched into his skin, to pull his mouth down to hers.
“I am still a man who wants you. I will never stop wanting you.” Willa stepped forward. Her breasts brushed against his chest.
He sucked in a breath and raised his hands to frame her face. He kissed her.
Softly, gently, reverently. “But I would be lying if I said that wanting you is enough. I love you, Willa Stratton. More than I could express in any letter, more than I can tell you, standing here now. Don’t leave me,” he whispered against her lips. “Don’t leave me.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against his chest, opening her mouth to stroke inside. Coaxing her, wooing her. A nd Willa let herself surrender to him there in the doorway, his kiss consuming every thought and every doubt, every fear.
Too soon he pulled away, chuckling breathlessly. “I actually came here to give you a present, not to tell you that. That was to come later.” Bending down, he lifted a white box from beside his feet, then handed it to her with a crooked smile.
“A thank-you gift. I promise I have no ulterior motives, although it may seem like I do when you open it.”
“A thank-you? For what?” The box was light in her palms, as if it contained nothing but air.
“For helping me to see past my own fear. Go ahead. Open it.” Willa held the box in one hand and opened the flaps with the other. She peeked inside, but it was too dark, and she put her hand in the box. Her fingers smoothed along something soft, a cloth that felt like satin or silk. She met A lex’s eyes, blushing at the look in his gaze, as if he were remembering their time at the Three Crows, as if he were undressing her in his mind now.
She drew out her gift. “A pink chemise.” She smiled. “A t the opera—”
“Yes. I remember everything you say, you know. A s I said, this is a thank-you gift. Thanks to you, I now have twelve investors who have already agreed to help Laurie and Sons with our move into developing the nonsaturation process on a large scale. You, my darling, are holding ‘one of the greatest inventions of this large scale. You, my darling, are holding ‘one of the greatest inventions of this century.’”
Willa laughed softly as she returned the chemise to the box. “I hope you don’t intend to make it a habit of quoting my words back to me all the time.”
“Only the ones where you continually compliment me and my inventions. A nd when you tell me you love me, too.”
Willa looked down. She closed the box. “Thank you, A lex. I’m glad I could help you. Truly. Hopefully in some small way it makes up for the deeds of the evil princess in the past.”