After restocking my cart for the third time today, I headed back to the irst hole to make my next round. I recognized the back of Grant’s head right away. He was playing with… Nan.
I’d known this day was coming but I hadn’t been prepared for it. I could always skip this hole and let Bethy catch them on her next round but that would only be putting off the inevitable.
I pulled the cart up and Grant turned in my direction. He looked like he was in a serious
conversation with Nan. The frustrated frown on his face wasn’t comforting. He smiled but I could tell it was forced.
“We’re good, Blaire. You can go on to the next hole,” Grant called out. Nan’s head jerked
around at the sound of my name and the hateful scowl on her face had me shifting the cart in reverse. Maybe my first instincts had been right. I shouldn’t have stopped.
“Wait. I want something.” At the sound of Rush’s voice my heart did a crazy little lutter thing that only he could make happen. I turned my head toward the sound of his voice to see him jogging toward me in a pair of pale blue shorts and a white polo shirt. It never ceased to amaze me that he could look so ridiculously good in such a preppy out it. Boys in Bama did not dress like this for anything. They played golf in their jeans, baseball caps and whatever lucky t-shirt or lannel shirt made it out of the dryer that day. But Rush made it look like something mouthwateringly sexy.
“I need a drink,” he said with an easy smile once he got to my cart. He stopped right in front of me. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of days. Not since our road trip.
“The usual?” I asked stepping out of the cart only to be even closer to him. He didn’t back up and our chests were close to brushing against each other. I glanced up at him.
“Yeah. That’d be great,” he replied but didn’t move. He also kept his eyes locked on mine.
One of us was going to have to move and break this staring contest. I knew it should be me. I couldn’t lead him to believe anything was different.
I scooted past him and walked to the back of the cart to get him a Corona. I bent down to
pull one out of the ice and I felt him move in behind me. Dangit. He was not making this easy.
Straightening up, I didn’t look back or turn around. He was too close. “What are you doing?” I asked quietly. I didn’t want Nan or Grant to hear us.
“I miss you,” was his simple response.
Closing my eyes tightly I took a deep breath and tried to calm the frenzy he was sending
my heart into. I missed him too. But that didn’t make the truth go away.
Telling him I missed him wasn’t smart. I didn’t need to let him believe things could go back to the way they were.
“Get your drink and come on,” Nan snapped from behind him. That was enough to make
me move. I wasn’t up for a Nan verbal attack. Not today.
“Back off, Nan,” Rush growled and I shoved the Corona at him and moved quickly back to
the driver’s seat. “Blaire, wait,” Rush said, once again following me.
“Don’t do this,” I begged. “I can’t handle her.”
He winced and then nodded before backing away. I tore my eyes off him and put the cart in
drive. Without looking back I headed to the next hole.
Rush
“Do you not remember what I asked you the other day, Nan?” I snarled once Blaire and her cart were out of sight.
“You were being pathetic. I was trying to help you not look like a lovesick loser.”
I turned around and stalked toward her. She was pushing me. I’d never had that all consuming rage most brothers have to physically harm their sisters when we were younger.
But right now I was experiencing it.
Grant stepped in front of me putting a barrier between us. “Whoa. You need to back off and calm down.”
I shifted my glare from Nan to Grant. What the fuck was he doing? He hated Nan. “Move.
This is between me and
my
sister,” I reminded him. He’d never claimed her before. Even when his father had been married to our mother he’d made sure we all understood he hated Nan.
There had never been even a remote sibling attachment between those two.
“And you’re gonna have to go through me to get to
your
sister,” Grant replied taking a step in my direction. “’Cause right now you aren’t thinking about anyone’s feelings but Blaire’s.
Remember how Blaire’s presence affects Nan. You cared about that once.”
What the fuck!
Was I hallucinating? When did Grant start defending Nan? “I know exactly how Blaire affects Nan. But what I’m trying to get through to her is that nothing was Blaire’s fault. Nan has hated the wrong person for so damn long she can’t let go. What the hell is wrong with you anyway? You already knew this! You were the one who championed Blaire when she
irst showed up here. You never believed this was her fault. You saw her innocence in this from the beginning.”
Grant shifted uncomfortably and then glanced back at Nan whose eyes had gone as round
as saucers. “You made her weak, Rush. All her life you protected her. She relied on you. Then you go and drop her and focus all your attention on Blaire and expect Nan to be okay. She may be an adult but she has been so codependent on you her whole life she doesn’t know any other way. If you weren’t so damn focused on getting Blaire back you’d see this.”
I shoved Grant out of my way and leveled my gaze on my sister. I didn’t need this lecture
from him even if there was some truth to it. Deep down I was pleased that these two had inally found common ground. Maybe Grant cared for her afterall. We had lived in the same
house for years. We’d been neglected together.
“I love you, Nan. You know that. But you can’t ask me to choose. It’s not fair.”
Nan put both her hands on her hips. It was her de iant position. “You can’t love us both. I’ll never accept her. She held a gun on me, Rush! You saw her. She’s insane. She was going to shoot me. How can you love her and love me? That makes no sense.”
“She would have never shot you. She held a gun on Grant too. He got over it. And yes I can love you both. I love you differently.”
Nan shifted her gaze to Grant and gave him a sad smile. That was even weirder. “He won’t
listen to me, Grant. I give up. He is choosing his love for her over me and my feelings.”
“Nan, just listen to him. Come on. He has a point,” Grant told her in a gentle tone I’d never heard him use with her. I was in the fucking
Twilight Zone
.
Nan stomped her foot. “No. I hate her. I can’t stand to look at her. She is hurting him now and I hate her more for it,” Nan screamed. I glanced around to see if anyone had heard her and saw Woods walking toward us.
Shit.
Grant turned and followed my gaze. “Ah, hell,” he muttered.
Woods stopped in front of us and looked from Nan, to Grant and then to me. “I overheard
enough to know what this conversation is about,” he said, keeping his focus locked on me.
“Let me make myself very clear. We’ve all been friends most of our lives. I know the dynamic of your family.” He shifted his gaze to Nan with a disgusted snarl of his lip then back to me. “If anyone has a problem with Blaire then they need to take it up with me. She has a job here as long as she wants one. The three of you may not like it but I personally don’t give a lying fuck.
So get over it. She doesn’t need this shit right now. Back off. Are we understood?”
I studied him. What did he mean and why was he acting as Blaire’s protector? I didn’t like it. My blood started to boil and I isted my hands at my sides. Did he think he could make his move now? Show up when she was weak and be the hero? Hell no. That wasn’t happening.
Blaire was
mine
.
Woods didn’t wait for a response. He stalked off instead.
“Looks like you have competition,” Nan drawled.
Grant walked over to her and put her behind him again. “That’s enough, Nan,” he whispered then he looked over at me.
I was done with this. I couldn’t deal with the two of them right now. I threw my club down and went after Woods.
He either heard me or felt the anger rolling off me because he stopped just before he reached the clubhouse and turned around to look at me. One of his eyebrows shot up as if he were amused. That just pissed me off more.
“We both want the same thing. Why don’t you take a few deep breaths and calm down?”
Woods said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You stay away from her. Do you hear me? Back the fuck off. Blaire loves me; she’s just confused and hurt. She’s also very vulnerable. So help me God, if you even think you’re going to take advantage of her current state I will beat the shit out of you.”
Woods tilted his head to the side and frowned. He wasn’t very affected by my warning.
Maybe I needed to make him affected. “I know you love her. I’ve never seen you act this crazed in your life. I get that. But Nan hates her. If you love Blaire then protect her from the venom that is dripping from your sister’s fangs. Or I will.”
I felt like he’d slapped me in the face. Before I could respond, he opened the door behind him and went inside. I stared at the closed door for several minutes before moving. I was going to lose one of them. I loved my sister but over time she’d forgive me. I could lose Blaire forever. I wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
Blaire
Bethy reached over and squeezed my hand. She was standing beside me as I sat on the doctor’s table waiting. I’d peed in a cup and now we waited to hear the official results. My heart was racing. There was a slim possibility that I might not be pregnant. I hadgoogled it last night. The home pregnancy tests could have been wrong and I could have been getting sick because my head thought I was pregnant.
The door opened and a nurse walked in. She was smiling as she glanced from Bethy to me.
“Congratulations. It’s positive. You’re pregnant.”
Bethy’s hand squeezed my tighter. I’d known this deep down but just hearing the nurse say
it made it more real. I would not cry. My baby didn’t need to know that I’d cried when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted him or her to always feel loved. This was not a bad thing. It could never be a bad thing. I needed family. I would soon have one again. Someone who loved me
unconditionally.
“The doctor will be in to check things out in a few minutes. We need to do blood work too.
Have you been experiencing any cramping or bleeding?”
“No. Just really sick. Smells set me off,” I explained.
The nurse nodded and wrote that down on her clipboard. “It may not feel like it but that’s a good thing. Being sick is good.”
Bethy snorted. “You’ve not seen her dry heaving. Nothing is good about that.”
The nurse smiled. “Yeah, I can remember those days. That isn’t fun.” She shifted her gaze to me. “Will the father be involved?”
Would he? Could I tell him? I shook my head. “No, I don’t think he will be.”
The sad smile on the nurse’s face as she nodded and made another note on her clipboard
told me she saw this too often.
“Where you using any form of birth control when you conceived? The pill maybe?” the nurse asked.
I didn’t look at Bethy. Maybe I didn’t want her in here afterall. I shook my head.
The nurse raised her eyebrows. “Nothing?” she asked.
“No, nothing. I mean we used a condom a couple of times but there was a couple times we
didn’t. He pulled out once… but once he didn’t.”
Bethy tensed beside me. I knew what she was thinking. How could I have been so stupid?
That had been one fact I’d left out of the story.
The nurse nodded. “Okay. The doctor will be in shortly,” she replied and stepped out of the room.
Bethy jerked on my arm causing me to look at her. “He didn’t use a condom? Is he crazy?
Dammit! He should’ve thought to ask you if you were pregnant. What a douche bag. Here I was feeling sorry for him because he doesn’t know he’s gonna be a papa and he didn’t use a damn condom. He should have been contacting you in four weeks to make sure you weren’t pregnant. What an
idiot
.”
Bethy was pacing in front of me now. I just watched her. What did I say to this? I was just as wrong in the situation. I’d been the one to strip naked, climb on top of him and fuck his brains out that night. He’d been a guy and the last thing on his mind had been stopping to put on a condom. I hadn’t given him much time to think. But sharing the details of mine and Rush’s sex life with Bethy wasn’t going to happen. So I kept my mouth shut.
“He deserves this. He should have checked on you. Don’t tell the jackass. He thinks he can use that thing and not put a jacket on it then he can live in ignorance for all I care. I’ll be here for you. Me and you. We got this.” Bethy looked ready to take on the world at the moment. It made me smile. I wouldn’t be in Rosemary when the baby was born. I wish I could be. I wanted my baby to have someone else to love it. Bethy would make an excellent aunt. The thought
made me sad. My smile disappeared.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Bethy said dropping her hands from her waist with a concerned look on her face.
“No. You didn’t. I just wish… I just wish I didn’t have to leave. I want my baby to know you.”
Bethy walked over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and squeezed. “You will
tell me where you live and I’ll come see the two of you all the time. Or you could stay and live with me. When the baby is born Rush is bound to be gone. He doesn’t stay in Rosemary past
the summer. We’d have time to get you two settled into life before he came back. Just think about it. Don’t worry over any final decisions right now.”
Would Rush leave? Would he give up on me and leave Rosemary? Or would he stay? My
heart hurt thinking of him walking away from me. As much as I knew it wouldn’t work I wanted him to ight for me. I wanted him to ind a way that we could be together even if I knew it was impossible.