“Hmm… I’m not sure now. I’m feeling a bit jealous.”
Bullshit. Sommerville was like an Afghani war lord. Only territorial when someone wanted something he’d neglected or thrown away.
“You don’t want to piss her off. She could say some nasty things to the press and hurt your political chances.”
“True. I’ll have to think about my options.”
“Stop threatening me, Sommerville. You’re only making me want to destroy you.”
“You think I don’t already know you want it so bad you can taste it? Tanner, you should hire a better PI. I spotted him when I arrived for the massage. I could recommend someone to you.”
“You’re a fuck.”
“Thank you. Don’t have me followed, or I’ll rip your brother’s life open publicly and ruin your reputation. How would it look for an acclaimed journalist to succumb to blackmail? No source in his right mind would trust you again.”
He pounded on the steering wheel, his control snapping. Sommerville was right. Slamming his eyes shut, he counted to ten. Losing it with Sommerville only gratified Sommerville. Fuck it. Today, he didn’t care.
“Did your masseuse suck your cock?”
“Did Meredith suck yours?”
Tanner clicked off and threw the phone aside. How dare he talk about her like that?
He exited the car and slammed the door. A few people looked over at him in the parking lot, so he flashed a fake smile and lifted his hand. Stupid of him to goad Sommerville.
Striding across campus, he imagined all the things he wanted to do to Richard Sommerville, all the while praying he didn’t have the chance to tell Meredith the truth before Tanner did.
Sommerville was right. She would never forgive him.
Chapter 39
M
eredith hoped she wouldn’t have to attend another funeral for a long time. The gymnasium was packed again, giving her the saddest sense of déjà vu. Ray’s friends talked about his dreams of being a lawyer, joking through tears about how much he loved legal dramas. There wasn’t a whisper of his extracurricular activities.
As they left, Tanner introduced her to a group of his students, clutching her hand while they talked. He did what he did best—listened. Offered a word of comfort. Patted them on the back. They clearly adored him.
He ignored the speed limit as he drove them to Jill’s. “Sorry I can’t hang around long. I want to make sure everything’s ready for Peg and Keith.”
“No worries. I have something to show you anyway.” She unlocked the door, her nose twitching from Jill’s sage incense. Shaking her head, she headed for the kitchen. “Want some coffee?”
He pulled her against his chest, looking beyond handsome in gray slacks and a navy blazer over a white dress shirt. “How about a kiss first? I couldn’t give you a proper one in front of Jill this morning.”
His mouth tantalized her, but didn’t plunge them into the reckless desire of the night before. His tenderness always surprised her. She wasn’t used to it, but she liked it a lot.
After releasing her mouth, he held her against him and stroked her hair.
She snuggled closer. “Are you okay?”
His sigh was heartfelt. “I will be. It was hard seeing that photo of him, knowing I’d never see him again. He wasn’t a hero, but he tried to do the right thing. I want people to know that. In some ways, it takes more courage.”
“You’re a good man.”
His body tensed. “Why don’t you make coffee? I’ll need some to keep up with Keith.”
She knew withdrawal, but couldn’t figure out why he’d reacted that way. Was he one of those good guys who didn’t like compliments?
“I’m going to talk to Peggy about hiring someone here to watch Kenny.” He followed her into the kitchen. “Someone who can move around and report directly to her. Maybe find out where he’s stowed his truck and the drugs.”
“He’s driving a blue 2010 Ford Ranger now.” She selected an Abba coffee cup for him just to be saucy and a plain blue pottery mug for herself.
“And you know this how?”
“Ah, Grandpa heard it at Bingo.”
Tanner sputtered out a laugh. “
Bingo
? Again?”
“I told you it’s the best place for information in Dare. Hell, he could tell you who has hemorrhoids on any given day.”
“Thanks so much for that image.”
“Let me say it one more time since I know you’re a man of action. I don’t want you taking any more risks beyond us gathering intel.”
“Fine. You’re right. It goes against my nature, but between you and Peg, I’m pretty much hearing the same tune.” When she handed him the Abba cup, he raised a brow. “Speaking of tunes, how’d I score this one?”
She laughed. “Because Jill called you my Man After Midnight this morning after their song.” Lifting on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek.
“I won’t be your Man After Midnight until my sister leaves. Don’t ask me how unhappy I am about that.” His chocolate eyes gleamed as he drank the coffee. “I’ll miss being with you.”
Her insides warmed. “Well, it’s not like we won’t see each other, but I know what you mean.”
Setting his coffee aside, he reached for her. “Maybe we should make this quality time.”
“You said you couldn’t,” she said, twining her arms around his neck. “Admit it. You want to be able to say you’ve made love on an orange couch.”
“You found me out. Now, shut up and kiss me.”
Feathering the hair at the base of his skull, she opened her mouth and tantalized him with deep strokes of her tongue. He’d worked her black blouse open when the doorbell rang. She pulled back.
He groaned. “You’re kidding.”
“Hold that thought,” she said, buttoning up her shirt.
When she opened the door, her stomach burned. A delivery man held three dozen yellow roses in a crystal vase. Her mouth flattened. That son of a bitch! How dare he send her flowers. She signed in a scrawl and slammed the door.
“You okay?” Tanner sauntered closer.
She threw up a hand and turned her back on him. “Give me a second.” She ripped open the card.
Meredith,
I heard you were back in Dare. I can’t help but think of you on our anniversary. I’m sorry for everything. I thought you should know I miss you. Thanks for your continued support.
Love,
Richard
“Oh my God! I can’t believe him.” Stalking around the living room, she put her hands in her hair and pulled. “That arrogant, pompous…”
Tanner stepped in her path. His jaw ticked. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s not what you think. It’s not from an admirer.”
He crossed his arms. “I didn’t think so given the way you’re acting.”
She took a deep breath and touched her bustier with her fingertips. Divorcée Woman would know how to explain the situation. She handed him the card. “It’s from my ex. Today was our anniversary.” She stalked to the window, watching the neighbor kids pelt each other with snowballs. “I can’t believe…a whole host of things, including how he knew I was staying with Jill. It reads like a…okay I’ll say it—a damn political ad.” She kicked a side table. “He’s screwing with my head.”
“Yes, he is,” Tanner growled.
“You don’t need to be worried.” She put her hand on his arm. “I can’t stand him.”
Tossing the card aside, he pulled her over to the couch. “But he can still push your buttons.”
“Of course, he can. He cheated on me! That’s not something you forget.”
Tanner veiled his eyes. “You can tell me if it’s none of my business, but can I ask you something?”
She sat up straighter. “What?”
“What did you ever see in him?”
Pushing off the couch, she threw up her hands. “I don’t have to justify myself to you!”
“I’m not asking you to justify yourself, Meredith. I only want to understand. This thing with Richard changed you.”
Her eyes burned suddenly. “You’re damn right about that. Being cheated on sucks, okay? But it’s even worse to have your judgment called into question.”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” he said softly.
She met his gaze dead on. “Aren’t you?” She let out a sound between a laugh and cry. “Well, you aren’t the only one.
I
question my own judgment. What happened made me lose confidence in myself. Do you have any idea what that’s like?”
“No, I don’t.”
She strode across the room. “Of course you don’t. You know exactly who you are. You always do the right thing. And you can probably always tell the good guys from the bad ones.”
“Not always, Meredith. I’ve made plenty of mistakes.”
“Yeah, well this one cost me a hell of a lot. You want to know why I fell for Richard? It’s pretty simple. He pursued me with a determination I’d never experienced before. I felt wanted. He’s handsome. I was attracted. And he’s pretty slick. He always knows how to say the right thing.”
“Go on.”
She gripped the curtain in her hand, seeking some way to stay grounded. “It took me awhile to realize he didn’t always mean it. And eventually, I figured out that my name was probably what he liked most about me. He was angling to become part of the paper. Take it over maybe, merge it with his. I don’t know. He didn’t realize Gramps would never allow that. That’s when things changed. I thought I was a good judge of character.”
She heard him walk toward her, but he didn’t touch her.
“He’s fooled a lot of people. I know that doesn’t help, but it’s true.”
“I just wish I hadn’t been one of them,” she whispered. “I know you probably think I’m not over him, but that’s not true.” Lowering her head, her vision blurred. “I haven’t stopped blaming myself for being so stupid.” A tear plopped on her boots.
“Okay, that’s enough.” He pulled her against him.
She tried to yank away.
“I’m not letting go. It won’t hurt you to lean a little. Blaming yourself is cutting you into pieces. I happen to know Meredith Hale is one hell of a woman. She’s insightful, savvy, and sensitive. If your ex cheated on you, he was weak. A mega-prick.”
“Yes, he is,” she muttered against his chest.
“You should talk to my sister. Peg was married to another police officer. They were happy at first, and then they had Keith. She was on a stakeout when she saw her husband coming out of a house. He was supposed to be hunting with friends. She found out that he’d started cheating on her while she was pregnant and couldn’t give it up after Keith was born. He said it wasn’t about her.”
She leaned back. His scar twisted when his mouth did.
“Peg is one of the best judges of character I know. She makes life and death decisions on the job. But she didn’t see him for what he was. She blamed herself just like you’re doing.”
“Did she get over it?”
“Not at first, especially since she still had to see the bastard because of Keith. But after a while, she realized he didn’t want to be a father, so she moved to Kansas when her commander took a new position there, promising her a promotion.” Tracing her cheek, his eyes glowed with emotion. “She finally remembered what she was inside.” He kissed her forehead and cradled her like she was precious. “You’re remembering too.”
Was she? She supposed she was. How else could she have moved forward with Tanner? Gone to bed with him? She did feel more confident now. But not perfect.
What the hell was perfect anyway?
She framed his face. “I meant what I said before. You really are a good man.”
The muscle jumped in his jaw. “Don’t make me out to be something I’m not. I told you I make plenty of mistakes.”
Okay, so he wasn’t going to listen. She dropped the subject and rested against his chest. The clock ticked. The neighbor kids cheered and yelled war cries, pelting snowballs at each other with an innocence that made Meredith nostalgic. She could never go back to that time, that place. She could only move forward.
She nuzzled Tanner’s neck. When she pulled him down for a kiss, he flowed into her, filling up every dark and aching corner. She tried to give back the light he had bestowed on her, hearing him murmur words she couldn’t decipher.
He kissed her in short, sweet bites. “I’ve decided I have a little more time,” he muttered between kisses.
His hands smoothed her clenched back muscles, but he held her loosely. She understood that he was letting her decide if she wanted more.
She did.
She tugged on his bottom lip, deepening the kiss. When she drew back, she tightened her arms around him. “Make love to me.”
He wove his fingers through her hair and lifted her onto her toes. His chocolate eyes smoldered with more than desire. Their gentleness had her body moving into him with new confidence.
“Orange couch or bed?” he asked with a seductive smile.
“The bed. Definitely the bed.” Bringing him there would be another way of making him part of her life.
He undressed her slowly in the dim light from the drawn shades. As his hands drew off her bustier, the buzzing increased in her head, and in her body. She pressed his palms to her breasts and let her head fall back. By now, he knew how to circle her nipples to make her gasp. Pluck at them until she moaned.
And still he moved slowly.
When she tried to undress him, he drew her down to the bed. “No, watch.”
She watched him slide his clothes off, the line of electricity intensifying through her body. He took her breath away, so defined and strong. When he was naked, he stretched out over her, arms bracketed on either side of her head.
“Just feel.”
Even though his whole body was corded with tension, he touched her with gentleness. Kissed her with tenderness. Caressed her with a reverence she could only think of as cherishing.
When he guided her over the first peak, she arched back, letting the feelings wash over her like sunlight on snow.
She opened her eyes, wanting to look at him, and he brushed a lock of hair back from her forehead. She knew the control he exerted over his own needs wasn’t easy.
“Be with me,” she whispered, touching his cheek.
He came into her inch by slow inch, resting his forehead against hers. Their union felt like a merging—so right. When the crest came for both of them, their hands found each other and gripped. Waves of pleasure washed over them.