Not Another Soldier (12 page)

One arm comes around my waist and draws me close in
understanding. I wish he couldn’t read me so well sometimes. The fear of
earlier has been replaced with something much more urgent and frightening. His
thumb rubs roughly across my cheek as he coaxes my face up and away from his
chest. His eyes are sincere and guilt jabs me for even imagining he might hurt
me. My chest tightens as his callused thumb continues to smooth across my face.
I want it. I can’t help it. I need him to kiss me. My lips tingle in
anticipation and I hold my breath.

I don’t know if it’s adrenaline that numbs my common
sense when it comes to Nick or what, but the pain in my neck has all but gone.
The hammering of my heart is replaced with a steady throb of desire. His gaze
drops to my lips and I wait for him to close the distance between us but I
suspect he’s waiting for my permission.

I tighten my grip on the back of his neck, fearful he
might pull away, and I bring my lips to his. We hover there, exchange breaths
and heat for a moment, and when we finally connect, its slow and acute. I’m
aware of every tiny touch of his lips on mine. Before I can deepen it, he pulls
back and drops his hand to my wine-soaked top. His smile tilts.

“We need to get you out of that top.”

I inhale sharply. I couldn’t care less about my top
but I do care about feeling Nick’s hands on me. It must be the adrenaline, I
decide, but for the moment, I don’t give a shit. I shift downward and lie back
as his fingers toy with the hemline of my top. He inches it up slowly,
agonizingly slowly, before positioning himself next to me. His length aligns
with mine as he props himself up on one elbow to watch the revealing of my
flesh.

He pulls my top over my flat stomach and dips his head
down to my belly. I squirm as his mouth skims my belly button then lower to the
waistline of my jeans. Then he comes back up and kisses my ribs as he urges my
top over my bra and helps me remove it the rest of the way. Nick brings his
mouth back down, taking the time to kiss my collar bone and cleavage before
coaxing a nipple out of my bra. It’s so slow and sensual, yet earthy and raw. I
love watching him
—
this rough, tough soldier being so gentle and
careful, treating me as if I’m made of glass. There’s something basic about the
sensations between us as if we need no tricks, no toys. Just us and naked skin.
But there’s no desperation like before. Nick is going to take his time with me
and he’s guaranteed to blow my mind.

I gasp as he takes my nipple in his mouth, the damp
warmth is insanely arousing and my nipples harden further to an almost painful
point. I stroke a hand through his hair, taking pleasure in the way it sticks
up and looks all mussed. I love him like this. All messy and hot for me.

“You taste delicious. Fruity and delicious,” he tells
me as he raises his head briefly.

Using his tongue, he swirls it around my nipple,
between my breasts and then returns to probe my mouth. I kiss him back eagerly
but match his leisurely pace, determined to savor the flavor of him. Even if
this is a mistake, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. And with the way he
kisses me, I don’t see how it ever could be.

“Oh God, touch me, Nick,” I beg as his fingers skim my
hips and dip beneath my jeans.

He grips one hip and slides his leg between mine. The
heat of his thigh traverses the fabric and I unthinkingly rub against it,
sparks of pleasure alighting in my juncture.

I manage to slip a hand between us and cup his arousal
through his jeans. He’s hot and heavy and I ache for him. I ache more than ever
before. Instead of sating my need for him, our previous time together seems to
have increased it. Now I know what it’s like, my body craves him all the more.

He hisses and draws back to unsnap my jeans. I go to
touch him again but he stops me. “Don’t do that, babe. You drive me crazy when
you touch me and I want to take my time. Last time was too quick. I didn’t have
time to appreciate you.”

He draws my jeans and panties down in one swift
movement, leaving me bare from the waist down. Air swirls about my heated sex
and I fight the urge to cover myself as his gaze traces my body. I concentrate
on stroking a hand up and down one muscled arm, tracing the pattern of his
tattoo until he finally unclips my bra at the front and spreads it apart.
Nick’s eyes light up and I swallow.

This was what I always wanted. What any woman wants,
probably. To be looked at like this. As if you are the most beautiful woman in
the world.

He takes his time slipping the straps off my shoulders
and removing my bra as I stroke my foot along the back of his leg, gently
urging him on. His gaze keeps dropping to my breasts, my thighs, my pussy and I
know he doesn’t see my flaws. He only sees me as a sexy, sensual woman. It’s
empowering and frightening. How do you live up to something like that?

Now I’m totally naked, he flattens himself against me.
His body is hard and warm through his jeans and T-shirt and though I ache to
feel his smooth skin, it’s a pretty erotic sensation being naked and vulnerable
in his arms.

He buries his head in the crook of my neck and I hook
both legs around him and rock up so my delicate flesh rubs against the
unforgiving fabric of his fly. I throb with need and I’m not sure I can stand
whatever it is he plans to do to me.

Kissing his way along my jaw, when he finds my mouth
again I’m ready and willing and I kiss him with an open mouth, tangling my
tongue with his. I explore his mouth as he does the same to me.

Rough fingers stroke my neck, my shoulder and then
down my arm. He clasps my hip again and skims down to caress my thigh. I grip
his top as my breathing grows ragged with his kisses. My skin is hot and clammy
and I need him so badly. I continue to rock, trying to draw as much pleasure
from him as possible but it’s never going to bring me the ultimate
satisfaction.

“Nick, I need you. Inside me. Please.”

He chuckles and continues to knead my thigh. I tug
impatiently at his T-shirt and he eases back, weight on his knees so he can
draw it over his head. I observe and lick my lips as he unbuckles his jeans and
pulls them off. The outline of him is clearly visible against the white fabric
of his briefs and I sit up to hold him. He presses a breath through his teeth
when I stroke him and we both end up on our knees in front of each other.

“Stop,” he groans but I continue to rub him through
the cotton. I need him as sex-crazed as I am.

In spite of his protest, he continues to kiss across
my face and neck, his hands wrapped around my shoulders as he pitches into my
hand. I press harder, feeling the pulse of him in response.

Abruptly, he tears away and stands to shuck off his
briefs. He’s barefoot already which makes me grin. There’s something about his
bare feet that I find so sexy. He’s far back enough away from the bed that I
can admire all of him. From his strong feet to his lean hips, to that ‘v’ in
between them. I’m surprised I’m still on my knees as I’m a little light headed.
He takes a moment and just stands there, letting me admire him. When I finally
bring my gaze up to his, I know he’s been enjoying my admiration. I see a
certain smugness in his expression. And who can blame him? His body is divine.

As he makes his way back to the bed and snatches a
condom out the drawer, I briefly spot the scarring on his calf where the
shrapnel tore through him. I look away quickly, unwilling to dampen his feeling
of male superiority. He’s still so beautiful but it’s hard to remember he’s a
mortal. Nick Jackson is one amazing guy. I just thank God it didn’t do any
greater damage.

Before I can think any more on the fact he’s a soldier
and I swore never to get involved with one again, he’s on me and pressing me
against the bed. I grip his ass and urge him into the cradle of my thighs. We
started slow but I’m not sure I can wait much longer. He edges forward, weight
supported on one hand as the other presses under my ass and cradles it. Nick’s
gaze locks onto mine and he sinks into me, inching in. I draw in a long breath
as he invades me, slowly, carefully, beautifully. My heart feels like it’s
going to explode out of my chest as we’re enveloped in a world of our own.
Everything is hazy, even almost the feeling of our bodies melding, apart from
his face and the intense expression. When we’re fully joined, Nick waits a
moment. Already my body responds.

“Nick,” I whisper, the awe slipping into my tone.

It is primitive, whatever it is between us. So simple
that I can’t deny it. The connection is strong and age old. The kind of thing
that comes once in a lifetime, maybe even less often.

When he starts to move, I arch into him and tighten my
legs around him. We move in sync, in an easy flowing motion. Already we’re like
old lovers but the excitement is zinging through me, making my skin tingle and
my body throb.

“Nick,” I whisper again.

“I know, babe,” he tells me as he puts his weight onto
me.

His hard chest is like a warm, sensual blanket to my
needy body. I relish the feel of him. So much power, held back just enough to
let me sense it but not be overwhelmed by it. He touches me like I’m special,
with so much gentleness that my heart threatens to break. It aches so much as
Nick comes down to kiss my cheek and the corner of my lips before sealing his
mouth over mine.

I don’t expect it but the touch of his mouth to mine
triggers an intense, unfurling sensation in my sex and I release a muffled cry
against his lips as an orgasm ripples through me, as slow and as gentle as his
movements but so achingly perfect. My eyes are damp as he murmurs endearments
in my ear.

He picks up the pace and I encourage him with the
press of my nails in his ass, the satisfaction of my orgasm still simmering
through my veins.

But it’s not enough. I need more. More Nick. Will I
ever get enough of him?

“You’re so sweet and hot,” he whispers and kisses me
again.

Already my body is tight around him, on the edge. I’m
barely managing to hold off as I want to experience everything. I want to see
the moment before
he
goes over. I need to know if this chemistry between
us affects him as it does me.

I grip his arms, feel them undulate and tense under my
fingertips and he pulses inside me. He groans and I’m fascinated. His eyes are
soft and tender but his pupils are dilated with desire and we can’t seem to
look away from each other. We come together, his climax triggering mine and
it’s so powerful, I can barely comprehend it. It feels like we exchanged more
than just pleasure.

He kisses roughly at my hair as gratification seeps
into my limbs. Nick’s arms are slightly shaky as are the kisses he scatters
across my face before sinking down next to me. I’m smiling. I can’t help it. I
wait for the regret to inch in but it doesn’t come. How can you regret such a
thing? He was right, you can’t forget sex like that. It will stay with me
forever and I can’t help thinking I want more.

But I’m not sure I can ever give more, let alone
receive it. I need to lay down some boundaries but for the moment I just want
to enjoy it. I have a sexy, incredible man in my bed and I need to relish this.
It’s been a very long time since I enjoyed being with a man and sex has never
been like this for me before. I bite my lip. I hope it hasn’t for Nick either.

I can’t help giggle as he nuzzles into my neck and
presses tickling kisses to it. He reaches down and draws the sheets over us.
“You’re so distracting, babe. I can’t think when I see you naked,” he explains.

I reach up, thread my fingers into his hair and take a
moment just to study him, to remember his handsome face, strong jaw, kissable
lips. I want to always remember the time when I made such a strong man look at
me like I was his whole world.

Fingers tracing his collar bone, I continue to stroke
through his hair with my other hand. “You’re pretty distracting too. I need to
make dinner.”

He glances over at the clock on my bedside table.
“Dinner can wait.”

“We need to eat.”

“Keep up our strength?” he asks hopefully. I can see
doubt in his gaze. He’s bracing himself for a rejection.

And he should be. I should be rejecting him. Nothing’s
changed, save that I’m not sure I can ever let him go, but it doesn’t change
our circumstances.

Regardless of my worries, I still beam at him. “Yeah,
something like that.”

“I could survive on just you.”

I laugh; the idea of such a big man not wanting to eat
seems ridiculous. “You couldn’t.”

“I could.” Nick lays his lips on my neck and then the
dip between my breasts. “I don’t need anything but you.” His voice is muffled
against my skin. “Just you, Sienna.” He brings his head up and the sincerity in
his expression makes my heart thud. “You have no idea how important you’ve become
in my life, do you?”

I numbly shake my head. Even though I’ve always been
aware of the attraction between us, it’s always felt one-sided. Nick’s looked
after me so much, even before Rob died. I never understood what he got out of
our friendship.

“My injury changed things.”

He comes back to my side and I stroke a finger along
the side of his face. I almost dread the words, but I need to hear them so
badly. I want to know everything.